Kinda ooc on the characters especially Ciel but that's fanfiction for you. Also because they're human Sebastian won't have red eyes. Hope you enjoy; much love for you all. Keva
"My mother sold me for whisky saying a bottle of whisky was more manly than I could ever be or hope to be." I looked down at my lap and sighed sadly as I fingered the chains around my wrists. "What about you? How did you come to be here?"
"My father gave me, a bottle of rum, and some tobacco to a traveling salesman when I was four to get rid of me. This has been my life ever since."
I looked into the woman's hard cold eyes and shivered inwardly. I did not want to end up like her but the odds of ever finding freedom from this life were slim if they existed at all.
"Learn to hate." She nodded at me knowingly. "It will keep you warm at night and make the pain more bearable."
I didn't want to hate hate made the soul die. "I don't think I can."
"You will." She nodded sadly her face showing the abuses she had suffered over the years. "One day all the pain and hurt inside will become hate." She stared at me her cold empty eyes sending another shiver down my spine. "You can't stop it especially living this kind of life. You'll be used and abused by those who own you until they tire of you and sell you off to the next bastard who will be worse than the one before." She nodded at me. "Until finally you're too old to be of any use to anyone and death is all that is left. Maybe you'll get lucky and your owner will shoot you but why waste a perfectly good bullet on garbage. Chances are you'll be thrown into the gutter to starve to death and become food for the rats."
"That wouldn't really happen; would it?" I questioned as I stared at her my eyes wide and unbelieving.
"No?" She questioned back. "And what do you think is going to happen your owner will fall madly in love with you and treat you like royalty?" She snorted. "You better accept that you are nothing now or the pain you will suffer later will be a hundred times worse then you can ever imagine."
"Alright you worthless lot get your asses up we have eager buyers and the sooner I'm rid of you the better."
I slowly climbed to my feet and struggled to keep from falling when our owner jerked harshly on the chain that bound the seven of us together.
"I said move it you lazy scum at least make a show of being useful. Wouldn't want to have to kill you because you failed to bring a decent bid."
We were paraded out onto a platform at the front of the room so all the potential buyers could get a good look at us or 'the goods'. That's what we were being called by our owner, possessor, or whatever you wanted to call him.
I chanced a glance around the room and shivered visibly at the sight of all the men and woman gawking at us while whistling and making promises of every depraved thing they were going to do to us once they owned us. We were being sold as whores to be used as pleasure slaves to our owners or whomever they desired us to pleasure.
I wanted to die right there where I stood when our current owner walked down the line ripping the robes from our bodies baring us naked as the day we were born for everyone to see.
My hands instinctively moved to cover myself from the gawking stares of the people eyeing us over determining what our expected worth would be.
"Move your hands boy!" My owner hissed with a slap of his stick to my bared ass when he returned to my end of the line.
I yelped in shock, pain, and embarrassment and could feel the sting of tears behind my eyes. I ducked my head and stared at the floor to hide my shame and thought that maybe Eliza was right maybe hatred would make this less painful but who was I suppose to hate?
Myself for not fighting harder to prevent this from happening? My mother for selling me off? Our owner for the pain and humiliation he was causing us right now? Or all these people so willing to buy another person like property creating a demand for slaves? Maybe I should hate it all and let my soul die.
If my soul died maybe the rest of me would die with it and I wouldn't have to suffer the life of a pleasure slave nor be mocked for being so insignificant a being in this world. I could go meet my maker and he would accept me just as I am since he did make me after all. I could live a happy life of my choosing away from the greed and hatred of men. I could just be me.
I was so lost in thought that I nearly didn't register that I had been sold before my owner could even start auctioning me. I could hear my so called owner babbling on about what a fine choice I was and how I would make a perfect slave to any man or woman. Considering he said just two days hence he'd be lucky to get a single piece of gold for the likes of me. It turns out he got more than a single piece of gold for me he managed to rake in thirty gold for little useless me. A good haul for a slave or so I made out from the people surrounding us.
I could feel the first stirrings of hate building up within me with every lie the man spewed about me. He didn't know a thing about me he was only puffing me up to make himself sound like he harvested me from the finest slave patch in his back garden.
I didn't care who bought me or what he or she since whomever it was that bought me had yet to say a word was going to do with me. I just knew the first chance I got I was going to either escape or die trying. Though if I was going to escape it might be wise to see who I would be escaping from to measure the odds of actually getting away.
As I slowly lifted my head my eyes roved over the body of a black cloak that seemed to never ending the further up my eyes traveled. My odds of escaping became nil when I finally reached the head of my new owner which was also covered by the hood of his cloak. It was definitely a man that much I could tell without seeing his face or body hidden under the cloak. He was as tall as a mighty oak my head barely reached the center of his chest. Though I wasn't all that tall anyway I was barely taller than most women and there were very few men I could equal in height.
However the man in front of me made me feel like I was no taller than a newly sprung sapling at first spring and just as insignificant. Who was this man and why would he offer so much gold to buy me? I wasn't the most attractive male up for auction nor could I compete with the women and all their endowments. I was nothing special just a lowly male that was cast away for not being manly enough.
I tempted a step back away from the man in the robe when my now previous owner handed the chain that bound me over to the man in black.
My eyes widened at the deep rich voice that was barely above a whisper from within the hooded cloak. The two words were barely registered by anyone but I heard him loud and clear it was a threat and one I'd best do well to heed.
He gave a small jerk on the chain and I was forced to follow whether I wanted to or not. He led me through the throngs of potential buyers and by the time we reached the door my anxiety had me on the brink of madness.
I was molested by every man and woman we passed and with as many people that were packed into the room each person got a good several seconds to feel what made me a man along with a few fingers that managed to violate me in the worst of ways.
When we finally reached the doors and stepped outside into the cool evening air the stinging behind my eyes finally relented and thick heavy tears rolled down my cheeks. Maybe this was why my mother said I wasn't manly enough; men don't cry but I did. Things that tore at my soul always made me cry I couldn't help it and this time was no different. My soul was aching deeply from what has happened to me in the last week no thanks to the woman who bore me into this world.
My new possessor led me to the stables and once inside pulled me down a row of horses to the very last stable in the building. The tears that blurred my vision made it impossible to see where I was going and caused me to stumble on a loosened floorboard and to crash into the back of the man in the cloak. "Sorry." I whimpered as I regained my balance and stared at the floor trying to ignore the pain in my toes from tripping on the board.
He turned to face me and even though I couldn't see his face I could feel his eyes upon me boring into the deepest part of my being. He didn't say anything only gave off a small grunt then turned and continued leading me down the isle.
When we reached the last stall I could see through my burning eyes the largest horse head I had ever seen looking over the gate at us. It began kicking its front foot against the floor when we approached it causing the man in the cloak to make a soothing clicking sound easing the beast immediately.
I didn't want to go near the animal but the chain around my wrists attached to the chain in the man's hand made sure I came in close proximity to the horse. I pulled back in sheer terror when the man opened the gate to the stall containing the beast.
He turned to face me and somehow I got the sense he was smirking at me and my fear. Instead of forcing me to enter the stall he opened the saddlebag closest to him, withdrew a white sleeping shirt, removed the chains from my wrists, and held the garment out to me. I couldn't help but smile slightly in relief of no longer exposing my backside to everything with eyes as I quickly pulled the shirt on which was several sizes too big for me. However I wasn't going to complain.
Before anything else could be said or done he suddenly grabbed me about the waist and practically tossed me onto the giant beast of a horse. The horse paid no mind to my slight form sitting upon its back however I minded immensely. I instantly went stiff in the spine and when the man began leading the horse out of the stable a cold sweat broke out on my brow.
I gripped tightly to the saddle deathly afraid of falling. This beast was huge the tall man's shoulders barely reached over the back of the horse and I was afraid of heights.
I felt the cool air hit my clammy face when we exited the stable and felt a little faint. Yet I still refused to move, to speak, to acknowledge anything other than holding on for my life. I squeaked in the back of my throat when the man mounted the horse behind me causing me to grip a hundred times tighter upon the saddle for fear of him taking us both to the ground far below.
When the horse took off at a steady walk heading out of town the blood drained completely from my head causing darkness to play around the edges of my eyes. It was then when I felt a powerful arm wrap around my waist and pull me back against his chest.
The voice in my ear was deep and soothing and so badly I wanted to obey but my fear held me stiff where I was. "I can't." I whispered and if possible tightened my grip upon the saddle when the horse jerked slightly. "I'm afraid of heights." I admitted without a shred of shame and even if shame would have hit me my fear would have sent it packing back from whence it came.
"I won't let you fall."
The arm around my waist tightened with his words. "Nor will I." I answered back and took a deep breath trying to fight off the dizzying darkness that was picking at the edge of my senses.
"A distraction then."
"What kind of distraction?" I questioned then whimpered when the man behind me shifted causing me to tilt slightly to the side which increased my rapid breathing.
"Calm down." He whispered against my ear his breath hot against my cold flesh. "A fall from this height is highly unlikely to kill you."
"But it's possible that I will die if I fell from the back of this beast." I nodded.
"And it is possible to die from tripping over a stone but you're not afraid of walking are you?"
"No but this is different." I countered. "When I'm walking I control my own steps but right now I'm at the mercy of you and this horse so I can't know what to expect."
"Clever." He chuckled lightly against my back. "However you cost me thirty gold pieces and I'm not going to let you fall to your death for that much."
"Why did you spend so much for me? I'm nothing."
"Are you?" He questioned and pulled the horse to the right when we came to a fork. "No man can say what another man is doing in this world or know how anything relates to them. Perhaps it isn't I that paid for you."
"Someone else bought me?" I questioned wide eyed. "But why would anyone want me?"
"Like I said no one knows what another man thinks or why they do what they do. However you can ask when we arrive in two days."
"Two days? Where are we going?"
"That's none of your business."
"Oh." I sighed sadly and closed my eyes trying to fight back my tears. I was a slave and that is how I would spend the rest of my life.
"What troubles you now?"
I sighed deeply a second time as a single tear streamed down my cheek. "I'm a slave."
"Yes but it should be no surprise to you; should it?"
I nodded a small nod. "I only recently became one when my mother gave me to that man you bought me from for a bottle of whiskey. I haven't learned to hate yet."
"You will. It will keep you warm." He responded in a cold tone.
I drew my brows slightly at the sound of his voice. "Are you one or I mean were you one?"
"Whether I was or wasn't is irrelevant." He growled at me.
"Sorry." I whispered.
His tone reminded me I was nothing and a nothing had no right to know anything. I clenched tighter to the saddle when the horse made a sudden turn to avoid a large hole in the road causing another croaking sound to catch in my throat.
"I'm not going to let you fall; promise." He tried to sooth with a rub of his thumb against my stomach where he was holding me.
"I don't know that. My mother said she loved me once and now look at me." I sighed sadly. "If I can't trust my own mother what makes you think I can trust you?"
He chuckled lightly and I felt the rumble from his chest into my back still pressed tightly against him. "You're learning; distrust is the first step to hate."
I frowned deeply at that. "Why does everyone want to hate so much? What's wrong with happiness and love?"
"They're a weakness." He answered curtly. "They cause you to put trust into the wrong people and before you know it you're dead or..."
I felt him lean down next to my ear his hot breath fanning across my cheek as he spoke.
My breath hitched painfully at his words. I did not need to be reminded of what my mother did to me nor could I ever forget. "She was my mother." I argued. "If you can't trust your own mother who can you trust?"
"Yourself." He answered and tightened his hold on me when he spurred the horse into a trot when we exited the gates of the city.
"Oh Lord." I groaned as the bouncing motion made me feel like I was going to bounce right off this giant beast.
My fingers were aching with the tight grip I already had upon the saddle but I didn't care as I clenched them tighter feeling my knuckles beginning to lock.
"I told you I'm not going to let you fall." The man growled almost irritably.
"You said it yourself," I countered sharply. "I can't trust anyone but myself. How can I trust you to not let me fall?"
For some reason he found that rather amusing and again chuckled. "Clever lad but I also said you cost me a lot of gold and if I was going to throw thirty pieces away I could find better things to throw it at."
And there we were right back where we started. I didn't want to have this conversation a second time and come right back around to the beginning again. So I opted for a new beginning in hopes of taking my mind off my current predicament. Maybe I could get this man to drop his guard around me giving me the chance to escape. Though what good would it do me so high up on this horse? It was going to take the strength of fifty men at least to peel my fingers from this saddle. There was no way I was going to just let go and fall to my death.