My thanks to all of my reviewers so far. It has been a long dry spell. I encountered enough writer's blocks to have constructed the Great Pyramid several times over. With hat in hand, I approached ByaSouthernLady and asked for her expertise on Romulans. As a result of the intense negotiations, going forward this will be a joint venture. Thank you, my Lady.

First Officer's Personal Log

I'm recording this entry from my new room assignment. Until further notice, I'm sharing quarters with the first Centurion. I was ordered to give up my quarters to our...passenger. The alternative, to stay in the room with her, was unacceptable. To my shock and alarm, the captain actually suggested that I do that very thing! Apparently, the human lady has taken a liking to me. I suppose I should have known by the way she kissed me when I first beamed next to her.

Because she is a Federation citizen who has essentially been kidnapped, we are in a delicate predicament. It would raise too many questions if we were to return her to the Gasping Dolphin at this point. Therefore, we have to convince her to stay aboard our ship, as well as keep her quiet and happy so that the matter doesn't get complicated any further.

And things are complicated enough. We learned that a Federation vessel stopped the Dolphin not long after we left and detained the real shape-shifter. It was none other than the Bolian girl who was sitting next to the human lady—naturally, that one was going to be my next guess. It had been lulled into a false sense of security due to our failure to discover it. The press release from the High Command announced that our attack was all part of the original plan to catch the dangerous foe. That, along with our passenger's infatuation toward me, is no doubt the reason the captain didn't throw me out of the nearest airlock.

For the time being, I have been relieved of my regular duties. My primary assignment now is to see to the every need and whim of this lady. If she raises even the slightest complaint, my career is definitely over. The mission was a failure, and the captain blames me for it. Perhaps he is correct, but I told him in no uncertain terms that I would only go so far. I'm a solider—not a gigolo! And I am most certainly not her "hunk"!

I decided to start today with a tour. What else is there to do? We went all through the ship, but I was careful to avoid the bridge (the captain is even more annoyed with her than I am, and I'm already in enough of a bind). She questioned me incessantly, always batting her eyelashes every time she looked at me. Rather than respond to her advances, I chose to restrict my conversation to the details of the ship.

Not good enough. My reserve started to displease her, so I answered her questions about my career. I suppose it was considerate of her to say she thought I had much potential, and that I would go far. That shows that she has some intelligence. She is more than I expected from a human. But she really has no idea what she's gotten me into. And I didn't dare tell her.

Most of the crew seems to like her well enough, but there are those who share the captain's sentiments. I had to threaten a few of them into showing her due respect. She saw this and interpreted my actions to mean that I share her feelings. She amorously told me I was a "cute elf," and I was concerned that she might try to kiss me again.

By the end of the day, I was at the end of my patience. She, on the other hand, was showing no signs of winding down. In fact, she informed me that she was in the regular habit of staying out all night every weekend with her friends at school. I cannot fathom how that's conducive to learning.

Since I'm not on active duty, I took the opportunity to have a drink. One drink turned to several drinks. The ale was too strong for her, so I had to water it down. Humans and their weak palates! Despite her claim that she wasn't a "beer girl," she consumed a rather large quantity. I had hoped it would finally calm her down. But once again, my hopes were dashed.

Instead, she became even more excited and began talking of our supposed wedding, and how pleased she was that we even had a captain to marry us. She informed me down to the last minutia of how "we" were going to proceed with this "joyous event," and then claimed that my input was important to her. Earth girls really are crazy... But if Earth men can handle them, surely a Romulan soldier can manage one of them?

After several long hours of her telling me every single detail of her life at college, she mercifully passed out. There's going to be hell to pay when she wakes up in the morning, but at least I have a temporary reprieve. Maybe I'll do this again tomorrow night. Aside from beaming her out into space, I don't think I'll have peace any other way. In space, no one can hear a scream...

Tomorrow we'll be resupplying at a Ferengi station. We'll be docked for an entire day, so it will be the perfect opportunity for some long-overdue shore leave. The lady is quite enthusiastic about it. This was her first trip away from Earth. This should be rich. In theory, there will be so much to see and do there that her attention will be diverted away from me for a short period of time. Perhaps she'll want to stay there. But Romulans don't believe in luck.

For now, I'm going to try to sleep and forget that I've hit the rock bottom and started to dig. I rue the day I wished for an exciting career in the Star Navy I really should have been a politician like my parents always wanted.