this is a sad one. be warned.

When Alice let herself into my apartment that day, I was sitting on the floor, cell still in hand. I wasn't sure how long it had been but I didn't think it had been long. My family wouldn't have left me alone for any extended amount of time.

"C'mon, Eddie. C'mon." She was pulling on my arm, trying to get me to stand up. When I looked up at her and saw her bloodshot eyes, I knew. I knew it was real. I shut my eyes and let my head fall back against the wall. "Edward we have to get to the hospital. Emmett is waiting downstairs." I didn't want to go to the fucking hospital. My dad was a doctor; I knew what that would entail. If he wasn't too badly damaged, they would let us say good-bye in a cold room with a sheet pulled up to his chin.

Considering a fucking pickup truck ran him off the road, we would probably never see him again. .

"Edward. Let's go. Bella is going to need us." At the sound of Bella's name my eyes popped open. She was going to need me. She was probably wondering why I wasn't there already. I nodded and stood up, following her in a daze. Alice guided me to the car where Em was waiting.

"Where's Rosie?" I managed to say. "She's with the kids until the sitter can get there." Emmett explained quietly. He's never quiet. Everything he says comes out loud and boisterous. It was like another stab in the gut.

The ride was too long, although in reality the hospital was a short five minute drive from my apartment. When we pulled into the parking lot, I saw Bella's purple Jetta parked across three spots with the door still open. It was going to get towed if she left it like that.

"I'll take care of her car, Eddie, okay?" Em assured me. As we walked past her car, I noticed her keys were still in the ignition.

I had grown up in the hospital, I knew it like the back of my hand, but I was lost. I had forgotten how to get to the ER waiting room. Alice took my hand and led me while Em stayed behind to park B's car.

Once in the waiting room, I saw her. Bella was on the floor, her head in my mother's lap. My mother's tears were dripping into Bella's hair. I sat down on the floor next to my B and lifted her into my lap. She wrapped her arms around me so tightly that it was actually a little painful. What did it matter at that point?

My mother reached out to me, but I shook my head. She gave me a sad smile because she understood. It had to be just me and Bella for a while. We rocked back and forth on the hard tiled floor trying to come to terms with the fact that Jasper was dead.

I wasn't sure when Em walked in, but when I looked up again he was there and so was Rosie. There were also a few nurses there we were familiar with passing out free coffee or water or tissues or whatever we needed. The hospital staff was like our second family and quite a few of them joined us crying in the waiting room. Everyone loved Jazz, and now he was gone.

When they brought Jasper in, his heart had already stopped. They weren't sure how long he'd been gone because the other driver hit a tree and was knocked unconscious. No one called 911 until another car drove by. That's what the person on the phone told me, but honestly I couldn't remember who called me. They could have pronounced him dead on the scene, but my father, who was on duty, had demanded they bring him in. I wasn't entirely sure how I knew that. I think Alice explained it to me during the car ride because when she gets upset she sometimes babbles to calm herself down.

Maybe it was Alice that called me in the first place.

I heard someone clear their throat. It was my father. He looked terrible. I hadn't seen him look like this since his brother died. He walked right to Bella and me, and grabbed my mom's hand as he knelt down.

"Bella, honey?" His voice wavered, and oh fuck, that brought a new set of tears to my eyes because my dad didn't cry. He was strong, he was a fucking doctor. He delivered bad news all the time. That meant there was nothing they could do, and his nephew, his adopted son, was dead and he couldn't save him.

Bella peeked her face out from under her hair and stared at him.

"Honey, I'm-I'm so sorry but we . . .we couldn't save him. We couldn't bring him back." His voice broke and tears were fucking streaming down my father's face. I heard my mother break down again. "I don't think he felt any pain. The injuries . . .I'm pretty sure it was instant."

Bella was silent for a moment while my father tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "Can I see him?" she asked in a voice so tiny, pained, and unlike her that it took me a second to realize that it was actually her speaking.

"No, honey, I'm sorry." He met my eyes and I got what he meant. Jasper's injuries were too fucked up for her to see.

"He wasn't wearing his gear, was he?" she asked. Jazz was forever not wearing his helmet or his leather jacket. His arms and torso had been torn up many times from road rash that probably could have been prevented if he'd worn his damn jacket.

"He wasn't, but the way the accident happened, it probably wouldn't have saved him."

"Okay." My dad bent over and kissed her on the forehead. "He was an organ donor."

"I know, honey. That's already being taken care of."

"Okay," she said again and buried her face in my chest. Dad stood back up and wrapped his arms around my mom, and then Alice. Rose and Em turned it into a group hug. Dad's colleagues gave their condolences.

I stayed on the floor with the girl that held my heart because she had no one to hold her heart anymore. I thought that if I let her go, she was going to leave me, too. Someone eventually brought us a pillow and a blanket.

We stayed like that, huddled on the floor together, for what must have been several hours because Esme announced Maria was almost there. She had been on a shopping trip in Portland.

"Edward, you should probably take Bella home. Maria is not going to make things easier." Mom advised. I nodded, because that was all I was capable of.

I got Bella on her feet, although she was mostly leaning on me. Everyone else was going, too, leaving my mom and dad to deal with Maria. No one wanted to be around for that. Maria would throw an Oscar-worthy fit and then throw around accusations that her son's death was the fault of everyone that had come in contact with Jasper that day.

I got Bella to her car, which Em had parked close to the entrance. "Don't take me home," she whispered after I turned the car on. "I can't go there right now."

"Where do you want to go?" She didn't answer. "We could go to my parents' house; I think that's where everyone is going. There is probably a dozen casseroles on the porch already."

"Take me to your house. I don't want to be anywhere Jasper has lived."

"All right." I drove us to my house. When we got inside, Bella walked straight to my room and crawled into my bed, shoes and all.

"Don't leave me alone," she said. So I crawled into the bed next to her and wrapped her tight in my arms. We stayed like that through the night until Bella finally fell asleep around one in the morning.

I stayed up the whole night. Since I met this girl, the only thing I had ever wanted was to have her in my arms, in my bed, and I had it. But I would have given anything in the world to be alone and have her in her own bed next to Jasper.

thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!