Itty-Bitty Black Heart
Outlaw of Love
Kaoru sat in the limo, legs crossed while resting on the back of his right hand. His eyes focused on his shiny, newly-polished shoes but his mind adverted to Hikaru who was most likely ignoring him as well. Last night had not gone so good, neither did the morning breakfast.
This was the first time in all their lives that the twins had never spoken to each other. The ride to school was short-lived and the two quickly parted ways, Hikaru made it to the gate first and walked the rest of the walk with Haruhi answering minor questions.
While Kaoru met up with Chen who was disturbed by his stoic expression.
The kind Chen says,
The poor boy stares at the cement floor, watching his foot go before the other making his way to class. He knew for a fact that Chen was concerned about him, but it was his brother that troubled him the most.
The two had a minimum of a two minute chat before Kaoru made it to his class as the two said their good byes, Kaoru entered into class expecting to see all eyes on him. And fortunately all eyes were on him, Hikaru wasn't the kind to keep his mouth shut.
Haruhi however, seemed like the only person who was feeling some guilt and sympathy for Kaoru, seeing as how she was one of the only people IN THE WORLD who knew of other people's circumstances.
Why are you even hanging out with that guy!?
What do you see in him?!
If you felt lonely, why didn't you say so?
Don't you see that he's weird?
He's not even acting the way he should be!
Kaoru shook the thoughts out of his mind. Its time to focus on school. He thought, but his pencil couldn't move any more than just inches away from each other. The words the teacher spoke seemed to have been moded into slow-mo since what she said was hard to make out, but that was probably because Kaoru's mind was fuzzy.
Lunch time was a misery even if Chen was there to keep him company, all the club members sat at a distance, with a face that was hard to describe as happy.
Tamaki, Kyouya, Hani along with Mori had a frown on that seemed to say, "Oh man, what should I say? How should I act?" Everyone knew for a fact that Chen was a bad person, that's why they were acting this way. Or was that just because one of the famous twins went ahead and took a bad step forward into the world and not in life?
Suddenly Kaoru felt disgusted. Is this what life's supposed to be? He asked himself, his fingers scratching at his scalp. If life's supposed to be like this, I'd rather die. It seemed as though he thought this, Chen had read every thought and immediately took action.
He grabbed Kaoru by the arm and led him out of the cafeteria which was quite shocking to the boy including the rest of the students who were busy eating their lunch and gossiping about the next big thing.
Kaoru asked while the boy hauled him through the hall and to the stairs. Both boys made it to the bell tower and hid away in their secret meeting however the more they went up higher the more Chen's hand began to tighten tighter and tighter around Kaoru's wrist.
"Y-You can let go of me now,"
The boy chuckled though he knew his lie was piercing through his mask when suddenly Chen's fist comes up and came hard onto the cement wall with a loud "thump". Surprised Kaoru's shoulders stood up, his eyes wide and a little 'eep' escaped from his lips.
"Its not fair. . ."
Kaoru asked worried.
"I'm sorry that you have to go through all that. . . Jut because. . . we're friends."
It was probably just his imagination but Kaoru could've sworn he saw something clear and almost invisible fall to the floor than quickly dry up.
"I don't know Kaoru,"
Chen says, wiping his eyes.
"Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."
Kaoru's eyes widened. I don't believe this. He thought, although he THOUGHT he had said it out loud.
"Maybe then, you're brother will stop bothering you."
Chen turns around to see Kaoru's face and instantly a pair of hands come up to his shirt and shake him vigorously. Shocking Chen to the point he thought he was the bad one.
"What do you mean?!"
"It was thanks to you that I-. . . I-I. . ."
The boy choked, biting his lips to keep the tears in. His head bending down low to hide his face.
"I could be who I am with a TRUE friend!"
He finished. Then suddenly turning back to Chen's face he retorts:
"How can you do this to me now?! After all I've been through!? Don't think this'll make me feel better!"
It took quite awhile of shaking and yelling at Chen's face until he finally understood the whole-arguing thing. His hands come down to Kaoru's shoulders, rubbing them while the boy muttered unknown words onto his uniform.
"Why. . ."
Kaoru asked himself, his eyes shut tightly.
"You can't just do that to me. . ."
He muttered again, his fingers clinging onto Chen's shirt.
"I-I'm sorry. . ."
"You're an asshole. . ."
"I'm sorry. . ."
He repeated, his hands rubbing Kaoru's shoulders. The two sat in the club room, in total aweness for several moments. The only sounds heard was the ticking of the clock and the sniffling of a crying prince.
"Stop crying Kaoru,"
"Then don't ever say that."
Kaoru wimpered, wiping his dry tears.
"Ok I promise."
The boy says and brought Kaoru's head to his chest where it was warm and reassuringly safe.
"You're my best friend Kaoru, I wouldn't want anything to hurt you."
"Honestly I don't want you to be hurt because of me."
The boys' eyes met and Kaoru smiled,
"But at least we have each other. Isn't that better than none?"
Surprised at the statement, Chen stares at Kaoru's hazel eyes and smile.
And holding onto each other, they close eyes. They were friends yet somehow Kaoru felt something a bit more than that. He felt safe, warm and at home when he was held by Chen. A feeling he thought was indescribable.
"Chen, you're my very best friend."
Kaoru says smiling,
"You're mine too."
"We'll always be friends right?"
Kaoru looks up at his friend who was chuckling at the thought,
Another obstacle had come, cause trouble and flown away by the wind. It wasn't long until the two were actually laughing and chaning the sad topic to something else.
"Wanna write a song together?"
"Sure! We never did that together."
They both grabbed their guitars and immediately started up a thought and idea for their song. Surprisingly to Kaoru all that pain and sadness had left, all that was left was the hope and joy to come through this small friendship everyone misjudged.
Sunny . . . money . . . holiday . . . sipping your lemonade
"I like that."
Kaoru states happily,
"But there's something missing."
"Lets add more words then,"
The boy began strumming his guitar trying out a few words at a time,
Sunny happy with the music, no money
I think you're on holiday
Sipping your lemonade
"How about that?"
"Perfect! Honestly, you're a much better writer than me!"
Chen teased ruffling Kaoru's hair.
"Aww stop it you're making me blush,"
Kaoru boasted smirking,
"Hey I didn't mean it."
The boy says playfully.
They both laugh with each other and push the past behind them. Kaoru had fun the whole day at school thanks to Chen but when home time came around he was prepared for anything that was thrown at him this time.
He comes to the gate and waves good bye to Chen who insisted on riding him back home but Kaoru refused politely. A few of the ladies that camea round quickly surround Kaoru questioning his absence at the host club. The boy just muttered a few lame excuses and passed on the ladies to their limos waving a good bye and sighing a sigh of relief.
That was until Hikaru came around, upset as usual. The two brothers got into the limo and a silence overwhelmed the atmosphere which was surprising to the chauffer although he had noticed the silence for almost two days straight.
Kaoru hesitates at this silence considering speaking to his brother and hopefully they'd reconcile, only he hadn't he nerve to. Hikaru had his chin in the air with the atmosphere "I told you" flying around his high horse.
Disappointed, Kaoru pulls out a pair of earphones and wears them on, turning the music to a max. The ride home seemed quite longer than the ride to school, all in all both brothers were
praying the ride would be done and over with.
The ride finally came to a halt and the brothers walked through the front door, into the mansion.
"Welcome home young master,"
The maids welcomed,
"Where's mom and dad?"
Hikaru asks grumpily,
"Master and Mistress are coming late from work."
The women answered politely, taking the boy's blue jackets.
"Aren't you going to take off your jacket?"
Hikaru asked disgusted. Kaoru scoffed, rolled his eyes and walked up the stairs with his jacket still on.
"Do I have to?"
The young brother's teeth grind against each other. Kaoru knew his temper was short he just didn't know it would blow like this one for tonight. Hikaru marched up the stairs and into the bedroom.
"Alright Kaoru! I've had enough! Stop being friends with that guy now!"
Kaoru asked quite offended,
"I said its ENOUGH! Stop being friends!"
The boy's hand comes up to Kaoru's collar and shook.
"Why does it matter to you who's my friend?!"
"Because I'm your brother!"
"Being a brother doesn't mean you get to be bossy!"
"That guy is turning you against your morals!"
"We already had this talk, do we have to go through with this again?!"
The brothers argued and they knew now that they couldn't hide their argument, the maids and servants immediately made their existence present at the scenery.
"Y-Young master! Please let go of your brother!"
One maid insisted, holding onto Hikaru's arms, but he refused.
"I will if he quits being friends with that ambassador's son!"
Kaoru's hands held onto his brother's, his eyes glaring into Hikaru's burning with fire as mad as possible.
"Why are you so strung up on this guy?! Are you in love with him?!"
Hikaru shouted, his voice going through to Kaoru's ear then forcing its way into his heart. But Kaoru refused this and pushed the words out of his other ear,
"SO WHAT IF I WAS?!"
A pause immediately overwhelmed the room.
Hikaru's eyes were widened. The servants froze and the maids had their mouths covered.
"You don't mean that!"
He hissed pulling his brother off of his feet.
"And If I did?"
Kaoru threatened. Hikaru through his brother's shirt to the floor and scoffs,
"You can't love that guy, what do you see in him! And since when did you become gay!?"
"I'm not gay!"
"Oh yeah?! Than what are you?!"
Kaoru stared at his brother, his heart cracked with the seams coming undone.
"I only love Chen, I don't love men! That doesn't make me gay!"
Hikaru pants and inhaled deep breaths of air.
And with that final word Hikaru marched out of the room with half of the maids following him and the rest staying with Kaoru asking him constantly if he was alright.
"Those words won't change my mind."
Kaoru says, so the maids could hear.
"Even if everyone hates me for this, I'll keep my heart true."
The boy staggers to the bathroom and locks himself up. The servants knocking on the door asking continuous questions that had already been answered. He wants war. Kaoru thought. He'll get it. If he can't accept Chen, mind as well forget he's a twin.
Kaoru lands to the bathroom floor exhausted and sighs in frusturation.