I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS IN FULL HOUSE! THANK GOD! ANYWAY, THIS STORY STARTS OFF NEAR THE END OF THE LAST EPISODE AND MICHELLE HAS GOTTEN HER MEMORY BACK
Michelle: I'm feeling better. How out of it was I?
Jesse: Oh, pretty out of it. I mean, you were here, sweetheart, but it was like part of you was missing. It sure was like part of all of us was missing. But, we stuck it out and we got it through.
Joey: Just like we always do.
Danny: Just like we always will.
All of a sudden, a madman wearing a ski mask bursts into the house, carrying a huge machine gun.
Madman: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL! (shoots machine gun, fatally shooting everyone but Michelle, Jesse, Joey and Danny, who run away)
Jesse: S*** YOURSELVES OR RUN!
Joey: We're already running, you dumbass!
The survivors go through the backdoor and into the backyard.
Danny: Oh geez. We're stepping on the grass. I just mowed the lawn.
Jesse: Damn it, man! (grabs Danny and slaps him) We have no time for bitching and moaning! We have to get out NOW!
Michelle: But what about the others?!
Jesse: THEY'RE SCREWED! Let's leave them here!
They all hear a scream and turn to see Kimmy, barely alive, crawls on the floor to them.
Kimmy: He….help me….
Michelle: SOMEBODY HELP HER!
Jesse: SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE B****! (goes to Kimmy) There, there. (wipes blood off her forehead) Everything is going to be okay. (pulls out gun and shoots her brains out)
Danny: DUDE! WHAT THE F***?!
Jesse: I HATED HER! SHE WAS SO GODDAMN ANNOYING!
Suddenly, Jesse gets shot in the head, with the killer close behind them.
Joey: Danny! You and Michelle go to safety!
Danny: But what about you?!
Joey: I'll be okay. I'll distract him! (pulls out Mr Woodchuck out of his ass) GO!
Danny: Okay! Okay! (runs away with his daughter)
Joey: Okay, Mr. Woodchuck! It's time for us to shine.
Madman: (goes up to Joey) Today is a good day to die!
Joey: Hey! Want to hear a joke?
Madman: Not really…
Joey: (looks at his beaver…shut up, you know what I mean) Hey, Mr Woodchuck! Do you have a joke you'd like to tell us?
Woodchuck: I sure do!
Joey: (horrified) AAAAAAAHHHHHH! YOU CAN TALK! (realizes something) Oh yeah. It's only me.
Woodchuck: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Joey: (looks at Woodchuck, uncomfortable) I don't know. How many?
Woodchuck: I don't know. I can't see them in the dark! HA! HA! HA!
Joey: That's not like we rehearsed…
Woodchuck: SHUT UP! I'LL KILL YOU! (pulls out knife and stabs Joey)
Joey: HA! That's just a plastic knife! You can't hurt me!
Madman: But I can. (pulls out machine gun and shoots Joey)
With Danny and Michelle in their car
Danny: Okay, sweetie. Are you ready to drive for our lives?
Michelle: Daddy? Are we going to be okay?
Danny: Sure, we are. Now, do you have your seat belt on?
Danny: Now, let's check if this car is clean enough for us to drive. (turns around to look at back seat)
Michelle: Is it clean enough, Daddy?
Danny: It doesn't matter anymore. (turns to Michelle, with knife sticking out of his forehead) Wow, look at what my face created! (falls dead on steering wheel)
Michelle: Daddy? (crying) What happened?
A dark figure comes up behind the seats.
Madman: He's dead. (pulls out chainsaw and brings it to life) Now, you will be too.
A few minutes later
The madman gets out of the car and licks the blood off the chainsaw. He takes his mask off to reveal…
Bob Saget: I killed them all. Now, to suck some d**k for coke.
This was supposed to be a bad fanfic. If you like it, good for you. If you don't, more power to ya.