I miss you :)

When I see you smile and it's not for me, that is when I miss you the most. I hold on to you...to us, in the hope that you will come back to me; but knowing in my heart that you won't. You haven't got a clue how empty I feel without you, how lost I am. You have no idea just how much of me belongs to you and always will. You do something to me that I can't explain Steven. You make me feel things that I've never felt, want things that I've never wanted and I need it all back, can't you see?

I miss you.

I miss the sound of your heartbeat, your scent and the feel of you, I often wonder if you ever think about all the nights we had together. I think of them all the time. Your touch, your taste and the way you would wrap yourself around me afterwards, all that seems so long ago now. I used to just click my fingers and you'd come running, but now it's the other way around, only you don't click yours…but god I wish you did, i'd run to you so fast!

I miss you.

You once said that maybe we're just not meant to be together, but could it be that we're just not ready for forever yet? With Douglas you are just killing time aren't you? At least that is what I tell myself, it's the only way to get through the day. See you are my reason…my reason to want to change, to be a better man and to love openly and not be ashamed of who I am. Don't tell me all this is for nothing. Tell me you feel something, please don't hate me, don't regret me and don't ever forget me. I know I will never forget you.

I miss you.

Some might say that I'm unlovable, but it's those that are unlovable that need love the most…I need you the most. For you are my first love and every other guy I am ever with for the rest of my life will be compared to you? I know that it must be hard to love me, but couldn't you just try again…please. I swear I won't let you down this time.

I miss you.

You changed my life Steven and nothing will ever be the same again. With just one smile you changed me and that first time we kissed you stole my heart. Did I ever tell you that? I love everything about you, except the fact that you're not with me now, that you're with someone else and I have to watch you two together.

I miss you.

I want to go to sleep at night and have your face be the last thing that I see. I want to wake up every single morning and have your face be the first thing I see. Would that be too much to ask of you now? Every day I'm not with you is a day wasted and at this rate I'm going to waste my whole life as I'm never with you anymore.

I miss you.

I'm not the only one for you, I know that, but you're the only one for me. I want you always. There's a saying nothing lasts forever, well then can you be my nothing? I want to be you're everything, the way you are mine. Sometimes, I just wanna tell you how I feel about you, how much you mean to me, how much I care about you and how much I love you. Would you even care now?

I miss you.

My love for you knows no limits Steven and nothing and no one will ever compare to you. The best times of my life were spent with you in my arms; I'd give anything to feel you in them again. There are moments in my life that I'll always remember, not because they were important but because you were there with me. I wish you were still with me.

I miss you.

I look in to your eyes and see everything I need; you are my life Steven and if you gave me another chance I'd never hurt you again. I think of you all the time, I dream of you every night and I need you and want you constantly…If only you felt the same. The thing is I just can't imagine being me without you and no amount of time will ever change that.

I miss you.

We have shared some amazing times together, other times I wish I could take back and erase as I know that they were the ones that separated us. I will show you that I can be the man you want, no matter how long it takes. I will find a way to get you back in to my life and my heart. You Steven Hay are my whole world, whether you in it or not.

I miss you.

I really miss Stendan. Please review lovely people :) xx xx xx xx