"Because of You"

a/n: It's another Kelly Clarkson one shot, but this time, It's Addie/Ella centric. I shall never get tired of writing about Ella Montgomery-Sloan. Sometimes I forget she isn't real, well she was once real but…not on the show. Oh, but she was real for one brief moment in "If/Then". The bonus clip of that episode made my life and I'm pretty sure it did the same for the rest of you Maddison lovers! If that had REALLY happened, Ella would've been born and Maddison would've been endgame. That would've made my day!

The rules for reviews still apply. The best reviewer gets a one shot on one of the couples/friendships that I ship based on a prompt you choose.

Ready. Set. Review!

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself

Cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did,

You fell so hard

I've learned the hard way

To never let it get that far

Ever since she wars a child, Addison Forbes Montgomery swore that she'd never be the kind of parent that her parents were. From the minute she gave birth to her daughter, Addison made it her vow to be a better mother than her own mother was. She had succeeded in some ways, but failed miserably in others. Sure, Ella thought that her mom was an amazing mother but, there were things that the 8 year old saw and witnessed in her young life that would drastically affect her relationship with her own children.

She'd seen her mother be in love with her father, and then boyfriend, after boyfriend, after boyfriend until she settled on Sam Bennett, her best friend's ex husband who, refused to have more children with her and treated her with little to no respect. Ella kept silent about all of the things she would witness growing up, but kept them to herself, because that was what Montgomery's did. Montgomery's put on a front that everything was fine, that their lives were perfect when, their lives were anything but perfect.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry,Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break When it wasn't even whole to start with

Manhattan, New York-October 2005

"Well Addison, you certainly have made a mess of things, again" Bizzy Forbes Montgomery's voice comes out in a sharp tone on the other end of the phone to her daughter.

"I know Bizzy" Addison sighs

"Well, are you going to get rid of it?" she asks "You know Derek will never take you back, cheating on him with his best friend is one thing, but having another man's baby while you're still married to your husband is a whole other completely separate issue" Bizzy continues. Addison listens at her mother drone on, and on about how's she's so irresponsible about how she's "a world class Gynecologist and couldn't even think to make the man use a condom". Typical Bizzy response Addison thinks to herself. Her mother's always been so judgmental of any decision she's ever made. She doesn't tell her mother that she's decided to keep the baby, knowing that will start up a whole other conversation. So, for the sake of keeping the prestigious Montgomery name clean of any blemishes, Addison replies in the most polite tone she'd learned early growing up.

"Yes Bizzy, I'm going to take care of it" Can't ruin your precious Forbes Montgomery dynasty now can we? She says to herself before hanging up.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you I am afraid

New Haven, Connecticut-1975

7 ½ Year old Addison Forbes Montgomery is by all standards, perfect. Her hair is perfect, her eyes are perfect, her clothes, her shoes, her house her family, all perfect, to the outside world that is. To the almost 8 year old redheaded girl, her life is anything but perfect.

Today was the day of the horseback riding show and, she was expected to win, to achieve greatness but, she came in second and Montgomery's didn't come in second place. She wasn't allowed to hang her 2nd place trophy up. When she was caught crying, her mother glared at her.

"Addison, what have I told you about public displays of emotions?" Bizzy Forbes Montgomery asked her

"D-don't cry in public. If you're going to cry, do it in the privacy of your own home, preferably in your own room" Addison said meekly

"Do you look like you are at home?"

"N-No Biz-"

"Stop sniveling!" her mother commanded


"Stop apologizing! Now, do you look like you are at home or in the privacy of your own bedroom?" Bizzy asked

"No Bizzy"

"Well then I had better not see any more tears, do you understand?"

"Yes Bizzy" Addison said as she put on her Forbes Montgomery mask and congratulated the winner.

I watched you die I heard you cry every night in your sleep

I was so young You should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain

And now I cry in the middle of the night For the same damn thing


20 years later


"Ella, Ella you have to let me in!" Jay Tomblin tells his wife. He hates when she gets like this, so lost within herself that she won't talk to him.

"Ella, Ella please, honey talk to me"

"No" she stands firm in behind her decision.

"Goddamit Ella! You're so much like her!"

"I'm not anything like my mother" Ella says dejectedly

"Yes you are! Don't you see? You're just like your mother. Never willing to let anyone in. You walk around like everything's so fucking fine when it's not, goddamit Ella, everything is not fucking okay!" Jay says throwing things around the room. He's furious with her right now, but she sits there, unmoved by his reactions.

"Fuck this, I don't have to put up with this shit" Jay says grabbing his coat and heading for the door.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

Because of you I am afraid

Because of you

Because of you

"I'll come back and get my things in the morning" he says before slamming the door. She looks up and sees that their 2 children, Shane and Dylin have heard their argument. Sighing heavily, Ella gently explains to her children what's going on, kissing them on the forehead and sending them to their room. Once they're asleep and she's alone, Ella cries because Jay was right, she is just like her mother.