Tell me would you kill to save a life

By: Wolfa Moon

Summary: AU after S04E20 'The Rapture'. Castiel comes back in Claire and remains there. But that is where it all changes. Truths come out and friends join together. Misha is Castiel but always wondered what if?

Disclaimer: No Own, Wish.

Tell me would you kill to save a life

Tell me would you kill to prove you're right

Crash crash

Burn, let it all burn.

Hurricane – 30 Seconds to Mars

Chapter 1

Castiel watched as Sam disposed of the demon in her mother's vessel form. Yet there is a pain closer to her heart. Someone who is calling to her, praying. Her only other direct phone line to earth. Crouching besides Jimmy. His breaths growing shallow. Knowing he is trying to speak. Say something. Resting a hand on him stroking his hair. Seeking him peace and comfort in his here after. His bright blue eyes, the windows to the soul, the light fading from them. He passes to eternal life.

Standing she moves to where Sam, Dean and Amelia are. Amelia takes a step forward.


"I am sorry for your lost, but you should have trusted in god's will. Claire is with me now." She passes the brothers.

"Cass," Dean calls after her. "You can't do this. She's a kid." Castiel steps toward him.

"This is my vessel."

"Cass, what were you gonna tell us?" Sam wants to know what was so important that everything happened. He got yanked from his vessel. They met Jimmy. Jimmy died and Castiel is now possessing his daughter.

"I learned my lesson. I serve heaven I don't serve you." She vanished returning to heaven.


"Castiel we don't take vessels this young. Since there are no other in the blood line you are recalled to heaven." Her superiors scolded her upon her return. She had played her role. Given her devotion anew. Had given up so much and lost.

"Wait, no.." Castiel began to back up from her superiors. Two angels blocked his escape. Looking up to Zachariah. The archangel gleaming at the order. He had repented. Learned his lesson. They wanted more. "No!" Castiel in her now smaller vessel began to fight with all she knew as a garrison angel. Fighting but still too small. The two grabbed her holding her still. Zachariah stepping forward.

"Castiel, we need not fight but I will." He reaches into her. Castiel screams with all the power of her little body. She had no one here on her side. No one to hear her. Maybe there was one. The pain growing like fire in her veins. Please let her be heard.

"ANNA!" Zachariah laughs as he pulls at her grace. Fire is burning but not raging as it once was. Her small body descended on one of the many grounds in heaven. There is light shinning all around her. Her blue eyes like her previous host look up with her final strength. The red headed former garrison leader smiles at her grabbing her small vessel toward her. They fly away.


Dean has Sam locked downstairs while he is discussing the withdrawal with Bobby. Only to be interrupted by the sound of wings. Both turning to see Anna standing there holding Castiel close to her chest. Dean rushes over. He is still angry with Castiel for taking the young vessel. Yet to see his angel friend passed out and injured.

"What happened?" taking the small form from her to lay Cas on the couch. Getting a blanket to throw it over her.

"Zachariah, he's an archangel. He's the one who pulled Castiel back to heaven. To teach him a lesson. But then…" she shakes her head moving to kneel beside her sister. "Cas learned but. Angels don't take young vessels. If we do we return it in a small amount of time. Cas has no where else to go though." Castiel had no choice.

"So what then bible camp hell two?"

"Yes," she runs her hand through the blond locks. "Where's Sam?"


"Detoxing?" Dean huffs looking around. Wrapping his head around this is getting too much. He's down a brother and an angel. Thank god for Bobby.

"Yeah the boys been getting hyped on demon blood." Bobby informs them.

"I don't…" Anna really didn't know what to say. She knew of blood addictions. That's what initially started with the vampires. Cannibals to gain the magic of the one they devoured. Sure Sam was forced demon blood upon him when he was a baby. Yet now turning to it for power. "Where did you get the demon blood?"

"We aren't giving him any?"

"Then what blood are you using?" the two look from one another. "You can't just do cold turkey with this. The demon blood in him will fight and fester like a demon. You need something else to wean him onto."

"Like what?" She looks to little Cas. Raising the small arm. "You want him to feed off Cas?"

"You fight for good. Sam will think it over before he decides to feed upon her."

"And if he does cross that bridge, sister?" Bobby folding his arms defensively.

"Angel blood is pure. It will burn out the demon blood. Sam through will have a different poison. One that is easier to wean."

"Cas can't defend himself."

"She won't have to. Sam will do the right thing."

"I sure hope so." Dean moves in to pick up Castiel. Feeling how light the angel is. Looking down at the innocent face. "Is Cas… is Cas okay?"

"She needs time to recoup. " Dean nods pulling the small form close to his chest. Always very protective of children. Still pissed as hell at Castiel for taking it. Then learning he had nowhere else to go. He now she would be stuck in this vessel with no place to go. Attacked by her brothers for taking it. But also forced by them to get out and repent. Feeling for his angel friend he holds her close to him

"Sorry Cas." Sorry for not listening. Sorry for not helping you out. Sorry for all the arguments. Sorry for what he is about to do.

Opening the door to the panic room he watches his brother struggle in his bindings. Stilling when Sam stops his thrashing to stare at him. Plead with him with those puppy dog eyes. Stilling as he watches Dean lay Castiel down on the cot that they laid Anna down on once upon a time.

"Dean?" Dean looks over at him. But the face turns to something demonic. Eyes turning yellow. Then Demon Dean grabbing something a blanket to throw over her face. Suffocating the angel. "Stop, leave her alone." in reality Dean lays a blanket over her up to her chest. Moving down to whisper some advice into her ear. Stepping back to move to Sam. "Get away from me. Get back." Dean loosens the bindings. Standing up he gives them both one last look. What a weird family he has. Exiting he locks the door.

Dean comes up the stairs looking from Bobby to Anna.

"I hope we know what we're doing."

"It's for the best Dean. Castiel can deal with him."

"How does this work now? Is she a he or is he a she?"


Sam tests the bindings. They are loose. Getting up he fights them off throwing them away. Moving over to the still form. Slowly he moves the blanket off. Looking down at the child that Castiel had taken over. The little angel before him. His hand moves to rest on her. Making sure what he saw was an illusion. She breathes.

"Cas?" he shakes her a little. Why would Dean do this? Looking around the room for a reason. Turning back to see those same blue eyes that Jimmy possessed and Castiel used with unspoken debate. The focus now upon her eyes. "Cas?"

"Sam," the little voice croaked. He smiles. Moving forward he pulls her to him. She is still alive. "Sam?" he moves back to give some space.

"Yeah Cas it's me."

"Don't," she coughs. "Don't kill Lilith." He looks at her. "She is the finale seal. She…" Castiel rest again on Sam. Sam holding her close. Lilith is a seal. Killing Lilith. That has been the whole reason for this. The reason he needs the blood. He has to kill her but the final seal…

"Cas is that the secret they yanked you away for?"

"Yes," so weak he strained to hear. "She is the seal and killing her will open it." Small hands grab his shirt. Forcing her head to look up at him. To get his attention. "Don't say yes. Don't do it, please. Sam you are better then what they say." Her head looses it little burst of strength. Sam confused about saying Yes to what? "You are my friend. Your gift is yours not there's. Please Sam. " Sam listens. His heart breaks. He has done so much wrong. Had drank demon blood. Had cost Castiel his adult male vessel. But he had done so much before the blood as well. He killed his mother's killer. Avenged without the blood. Holding the angel close to him. An angel as lost as him.

"Yes to what?" Castiel sighs heavily trying to gain focus.

"You are also Lucifer's vessel." He is shocked at the news. Determined as the hunter he is looks at her. Eyes shining with promise.

"I promise." A small smile crosses over Castiel lips.

"Thank you." Sam holds her close to him. She shivers. Grabbing the blanket he covers them. Getting comfortable. It is going to be a haul but he could do it. Hell, he had an angel on his side. An angel who is his friend. Who believed in him. Relaxing he holds her close to him. Shivering with withdrawal. It is going to be hard but he can do it.


Dean comes down later to check on them. They are in the same position. Sam leaning against a salt encrusted wall. His arm secured around Cas' small vessel. Protecting it even as his head thrashes back and forth. The demon blood fighting in his system. Watching a small hand rub his sweaty cheek. A faint voice singing, 'Hey Jude'. Wondering when Cas learned the song and meaning. Then remembering a car ride with singing angel and the song coming on. Divulging information that this was their lullaby their mom sang to them.

"I'm okay, Cas. Get some rest." Dean listens to his brother speak. "Cas, you need to stop that, rest and heal. I'll be good." Watching he sees the small hand go back to it's previous hold on Sam's flannel shirt. Securing herself there. Gathering Cas is giving what little healing she can in her weaken state.

"How are they?" Dean jumps at the intruder.

"I'm gonna get you a bell whether you like it or not." She smiles moving to look in. "So is Cas gonna stay that young or is she gonna age?"

"We can let our vessel's age. But in beneficial for us to not. Yet in this situation it will help to age the vessel."

"Can you advance rapidly?"

"A couple of years. The vessel is only 14."

"Yeah a couple of years would help though."

"Not sure Cas is up for that yet. Let her be Dean I know this is hard on you. It is harder on Castiel." Anna moves to the stairs. "Let them be. I want some chocolate cake."


Sam rocks to the humming. Castiel is still singing to him.

"Didn't know angel's sing."

"We sing just not all of us are proficient at it."

"Well your doing good."

"How do you feel?"

"Better thank you. Cas?"


"How are you feeling?"

"I am better."

"Battle better or strategy better?" Blue eyes look at him. His face focusing on her. Caring eyes looking into lost old souls.

"I don't."

"Cas, tell me what is still wrong?"

"Zachariah tried to rip my grace out of my vessel. My grace splintered and cracked. It needs to heal."

"So your human weak?"

"I can still smite you." Sam smiles. Cas has been hanging around Dean too much.

"So am I cured?"

"Mostly. Temptation will still be there we just need to find you an alternative."

"What do you suggest?"

"Angel blood will cleanse the impurity."

"Why didn't you…" offer before. He was the boy with the demon blood. The man who drank from demons. Was a warrior for the greater good. Fighting to keep seals locked. Sam the innocent.

"I was not permitted. I don't care now. It does not matter." I don't matter, was unspoken. Sam held the angel tight to him. A great warrior of the lord letting him/herself be cuddled by a human.

"It does and thank you."

"I have done nothing." Castiel felt so unlike himself. He felt frail as a human. Felt as alone as a single cloud in a vast blue sky. What reason was he there for? Not even enough to provide shade for? Maybe for a few. A few are all that he really needed. Castiel now in Claire gets up moving slowly away from him. She shivers as she moves. Sam is too stunned to do anything. Amazed since the first time he met the angels. To learn they are dicks. But that one, one is on their side. Is his friend. Is family now. Feeling it in his heart. Watching her go to the door.

"You've done everything." Castiel turns to looks at him. Tilting her head. "Cas, you defied your family for us. You gave up everything. You're one of us." She lets her back hit the door. One of them. She was once so high. A warrior of god. Doing what was believed to be righteous.

Sam watched the great angel hit the door with her back. Was what he spoke too much? Did he have the right to destroy the angel's world? To break up family. Take away everything she knew. Cas slides to the floor.

The world getting loud. Once so big now so small. As small as her vessel. Everything has changed. Unsure of what to do now. She needs to run. Needs to be free but she can't. Her wings are small, weak. Her head hits the wall behind her. Tears flowing down her face. She's nothing now. Poor excuse of an angel.

"Cas, Cas…" Sam moves to kneel before the crying, falling angel. "Cas," she shakes more. "Castiel?" she looks up at him. Him the only one to ever call her by her full name amongst humans. Names hold power. It is an old tradition but it still holds true. "Castiel." He speaks again.

"Samuel." He smiles. His head hurts but focusing on her helps. She has changed so fast. Grown before them. Grown more human. It is still weird in some ways to remember Castiel as his male form. The father of the vessel before him. "What do we do now?"

"Well Dean has to let us out." Castiel huffs. Her eyes borrowing into his. Seeing the truth. "I'm okay. Still shaky but I know the truth now."

"The talent is still inside you. The blood is not what you need." Sam furrows his brows. Shaking his head. "The power that the demon gave you."

"So why haven't they been working?"

"Because of this path you went down. It needed a reboot after you died." Sam seems to understand. His whole life had been working up till the time when his powers came into being. Birth till then. Then he died and came back.

"Huh," looking up to the ceiling. "And the blood gave it more juice to flow through me."

"Yes," she looks to the door. "Can we get out of here?" Sam chuckles as Castiel sounds like a little girl. Complaining how dingy this place is in her own way.

"Yeah," Sam looks to the door. "DEAN!" he shouts. Castiel unconsciously jumps at the outbursts. Sam laughs. "We're fine! Open up." Sam gives her a smile. The door opens with a loud crick of metal grinding. The door opens to reveal a skeptical Dean and a smiling Anna.


Dean still fuming over his drugged out brother and his angel friend in an innocent kid. Innocent. Anna standing across from him with her arms crossed. Explaining in detail why Castiel can't vacate.

"Dean, If Castiel returns to heaven they will kill her. There will be no more Castiel."

"Can't he take another vessel? I mean do angels take kids all the time?"

"No Dean. If we do we use for a moment then return. They are innocent."

"So what is Cas gonna do?"

"Dean," she says sternly.

"I know he has no where else to go."

"Dean humans have sorted their emotions by the time we take possession."

"Don't try and sugar coat this for me."

"Castiel is more receptive to these emotions. Being one of the final created before humans."

"Wait what?" Bobby strolls in.

"Castiel is a child amongst our kind. Father began to…"

"Dabble." Bobby finished. Anna nods her head.

"Always looking down upon earth. Dean stop thinking like that. Cas can pick up on that. Your brother is going to need her." Dean glares at her. Sammy only needs him.

"Why is Sam gonna need Feathers?" Dean and the angel may have the silent communication thing but he needs the verbal.

"The blood." Anna looks down to where they left him. "Castiel can give him her blood. They know Cas is with you. She will help Sam because… she has no other place to go. And she's a good little soldier. Wanting what is truth to win. And you need Castiel as well. He.. She is your friend. Always fighting by your side and with you. Be her friend. Dean, please."

"And what of you?" he needs this chick flick moment to end. Sure he likes Cas out of all the dicks he met. Hell the dude dragged his ass out of hell.

"I will stay as long as I can. But I have a big red bulls eye on me as well."

"And what happens to Cas?"

"You protect her. She'll protect you. Like she already does." Conversation over she heads to the steps heading down.

Dean follows her downstairs. Looking at the angel. Stopping and going over what Anna just informed him of. Castiel is an innocent. A child of human nature.



They enter in cautiously. Anna coming in to stand beside him. Looking down at his brother who is holding Castiel to his side. They both look up. Yet Cas looks long at Dean then to Anna.

"How do you feel Castiel?"

"I have felt better." Sam gets up easily. Turning to watch Cas struggle to stand. Concern evident on his face.


"I'm fine."

"Your definition of fine needs to be redefined." Dean adds. Moving in he grips a hold onto Cas. His whole hand fitting around Clair's bicep. She stares at him like before. Looking both in the eye. Still eerie on how they connect. Even in a different vessel.

"Dean, I'm," sorry.

"Hey, we'll adapt." He looks over to Anna and Sam before looking directly at Cas. "Cas," Castiel looks to Sam then to Dean. Dean shakes his head. Since when do Sam and Cas share looks? Silent conversation. Feeling a little jealous yet maintaining.

"Castiel, please." It sounds scared and a whisper. The mighty angel who saved him. Who can smite him with a touch. Sounding so defeated. Scared of his reaction. Scared of him. He raises an eyebrow.

"Castiel." She looks at him. Her eyes bright blue like her fathers. Yet behind that. The soul, the grace shines through pure Castiel. Dean smiles. "I'm sorry." Castiel looks to Sam.

"Take what you can get." She nods. Dean rolls his eyes. Anna and Bobby share a laugh. Everybody sobers as Castiel collapses into Dean. Her hand going to her head.

"Anna help." She cries. Anna swoops in pulling the smaller form to her chest.

"Sshhh Castiel I have you. Ssshhhhh." Castiel is gripping her head more.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean comes over trying to get a glance at her. Sam comes in placing a hand on her.

"I'm not sure." Anna kneels to in front of Castiel. Her hands pulling the young hands from her head. Anna trying to see what has Cas so disturbed. "Cas, oh my. Ok this is gonna hurt honey."

"Wait what are you gonna do?" Dean moves in. Sam begins to pull Cas toward him. Anna looks at both of them.

"Her grace. Zachariah must still have a piece. I need to get it back." Pushing her toward Sam. "She is gonna scream. Keep her safe Sam," he confirms with a nod. Dean reaches to the flustered Anna. Concern radiating off her as her hair flies with her movements. "Dean?"

"What about you?"

"Gonna get some help and get back her grace."

"And if you can't?" she looks at Castiel who Sam is holding close to him. Anna moves to stroke Castiel's head. Something that in the male vessel would never let do, probably. Maybe after this. After Uriel she should have touched more. Sam Holding hugging her close. Her heart breaks.

"I'll have to remove what is left of her grace."

"Make her human." Sam asks holding her closer to him. Trying to protect her from the inevitable.

"You can't do that." Dean states. Stepping between the two.

"Would you rather have her suffer? Zachariah is going to take what he has of her grace and twist as much as he can till he crumples it up till dust. Which will create an eternal wound that will hurt till the day her grace finally goes out."

"Can't you get her another?" Anna tries to get to Castiel. Sam continues to shield Castiel. The innocent. Dean steps back.

"It's different. I don't know how. Please let me get her to sleep through most of this. I don't want Castiel to suffer do you?"

"How do we know if you fail or not?"

"So much faith in me."

"Anna," Castiel calls from Sam's protective arms. She moves past the brothers to her sister.

"I'm here."

"Don't go. They will kill you. Please Anna." Her sweet fledgling. Still trying to protect her older sister.

"Castiel this is for you. You are so special."

"I am nothing." Anna grabs her face so they are looking eye to eye.

"Never say that. You are one of the last made before father left. You are special. And you were the one out of the 12 chosen to go to hell came back. You are special and need to be here."

"Anna why I…"

"Rest my sister." She kisses the youthful Claire's head. Castiel sinking back to Sam unconscious. "Take care of her. She will be weak if what I think Zachariah is doing with the grace. Protect her please. I'll send an ally to help here ok."

"Another angel?" Sam asks.

"Yes, but he is a good one."

"How will we know?" Dean asks. He's had his share of angels.

"Ask Castiel."

"What if she is in too much pain?"

"Castiel will be your first alert to an angel here. Please keep her safe." Anna kisses Castiel's head in a very motherly protective manner before vanishing.


Sam sat in a chair reading a book remaining calm as he can. His foot though betraying his calm.

"Chill dude." Dean warns him again. Sam looks up licking his lips. He looks to where Cas lays then to the roof. "Dude?"


"Need a drink Sam." Sam looks to Bobby who pours him a glass of bourbon. Taking without thinking he chugs it. Setting it down with a thunk. Bobby goes to pour another. Dean stops him.

"What's going on?"

"I'm…" he looks to the heavens again.

"Sam," Sam turns to Castiel whom spoke. She is standing, swaying toward them.

"Castiel…" Dean moves from his chair to let Cas sit. She does slowly. Her hands fisted with pain and exertion.

"Samuel, how bad?"

"Um," he looks around the room. The accusing eyes. Then looking to the angel.

"How did you get the blood before?" Sam blushes and cringes looking around. Cas furrows his brow. "I believe my vessel is too young for that." His eyes zone in on her. She is still an angel and can read his mind. Dean stunned looking between them. What had Sam and Ruby done? Then it clicking.

"With a demon?" Dean grabs the bottle from Bobby's hands pouring himself a drink.

"She would fill up a flask." Castiel nods. Looking around she spies his shot glass. Picking it up she sniffs at the booze scent. Setting it down she looks around. Picking up a knife she moves as a breeze swiping it across her forearm. Holding it out over the glass she lets it fill it up. The non junkies looking in silence. Sam licking his lips. Shot glass full she moves it toward Sam. Always willing to bleed for the Winchesters. Looking shaky he picks up the glass. Downing it like the blood junkie he is. Glass set on the table she fills it again.

"Is that sanitary?" Dean scoffs.

"I am an angel." Castiel states. Glass full again she moves it toward him. Sam looks to the glass then to her wrist. He has been running on fumes. Detoxing terribly.

The blood was smooth. Unlike the normal metal salty tang of normal blood. Not the added sulfur aftertaste of demon blood. This had an after rain essence to it. Smooth. Picking up the glass he downs it. How could he have ever worshiped the demon? Licking the inside of the glass he looks over to Cas. Her arm raised. Blood leaking from the cut. Not slowing. Red crimson. Licking his lips.

"You may be an angel Cas but it's still blood."

"My grace," she pauses. Her mind going to what she is and how little is left. How broken. "It purifies everything inside me. Attaching me to this vessel. We are one. And this," holding up her wrist. "Is me."

Bobby watched in silence as she filled the shot glass. Sam grabbing them quickly and downing. Himself grabbing a towel ready to hold it over the bleeding cut. Listening to them. More watching. The great angel who has done so much for them. Still doing for them, bleeding. Trapped inside a child. Torn down by her elder brothers. His fatherly side going toward her. An angel for Christ sake. Still an idjit kid though as messed up as any human. Her eyes lock on him. She smiles. Yeah the angel would fit perfectly in this family. Then he gasped.

"Sammy!" Dean screamed. Sam tried to behave and wait patiently as she filled the glass slowly. The blood cooling as it filled. No it was better warm. Scolding himself at the thought. Not caring now he pulled the chair toward him. Taking the bleeding arm. Moving the cut to his lips. His mouth latching on. Drinking the warmth. The rain. The breath of life.

Dean wants to yank his brother from his angel. Yet to stunned and shell shocked to move. Castiel sitting staring as Sam drinks from her wrist as if an everyday occurrence. Sam moaning as he drinks the blood. Vampire crosses his thoughts. This is suppose to be good. How can it be? Not demon, yeah. Angel and friend?

"Sammy!" Sam can hear his brother but the taste. A hand touches his head. Youthful fingers running through his hair. Ruby would do that but she would grip tight. Make him gasp and gulp down more. These played, combed through his locks.

"He is almost done."

"That's not right."

"Dean, he will be free after this."

"So no blood."

"Not so much blood." Castiel groans again. Her free arm grabbing around her middle.

"Cas, Cas what is going on?" Rose colors her cheeks. Then it evaporated. Turning pale. The eyes going big as orbs. Hunching over. Trying to let Sam keep her arm. "Sam stop."

Sam felt the struggle. Heard his name.

"Sam please." Came the soft angelic voice. He relents seeing Castiel has gone from fine to pain. Releasing her arm he grabs the towel Bobby holds limp in his hand. Pressing it down on the wound.

"What can we do?"

"You nothing. Me, I have a few ideas." A new voice spoke.



I have more. I wanted to write more of this before publishing in little bits.

Please tell me what you think?