Felicano's emotions poured out his eyes and mouth as he wept in front of everyone in the middle day room. His mask of anger and distress melted as a waterfall of tears fell from his amber orbs. He had not cried this hard since his dear blond friend moved away when he was younger.
"Feli?" Matthew asked as he walked towards him and knelt by his side, "Hey...what's wrong?" Feliciano could not stop hiccupping and crying; after a few minutes, however, he returned to a somewhat of a calm state. He still remained in the same spot as Matthew comforted him, "Hey now...tell me what happened, Feliciano." Feliciano explained what occurred just minutes ago and Matthew hung onto every word, every sentence, and every syllable until Feliciano finished. Matthew noticed people staring and he shouted, "What?! What are you looking at?!" The others looked away hastily and no one said a word.
"Matthew..." Feliciano said languidly, "y-you don't have to do this..."
"No; I've learned a lot when you were gone. Sitting here and letting people walk over you gets you nowhere but under their feet."
"But my situation's different."
"Not exactly, Feli," Matthew sighed, "Listen you gotta face your fears eventually and Ludwig happens to one of them. Mine was opening up and expressing my true feelings."
"Well how do I do that?"
"Well you've already made the first step: acknowledging the fear is there."
One of the male nurses came inside the room, "It's time for dinner, everyone." Everybody then lined up just like at lunch and then went to the cafeteria.
As Feliciano stood in line, he contemplated while staring at the back of the person in front of him about what Matthew told him:
"Sitting here and letting people walk over you gets you nowhere but under their feet."
"...you've already made the first step: acknowledging the fear is there."
He had gotten out of his stupor when he had to order food; Feliciano had gotten fish and chips and a bowl vanilla ice cream. As he sat down Matthew sat across from him while Jett sat next to Matthew; then as soon as they sat down, Wang and Leon sat next to Feliciano.
"So, Matthew," Feliciano began the conversation, "What should I do to get over my fear of Ludwig?"
"Hmm..." Matthew replied, "I don't know."
Leon butted in, "You're such a help, Matt."
Jett laughed, "Oh, don't listen to him, mate."
Matthew chuckled and faced Feliciano, "Anyway, maybe you could request him to visit?"
Feliciano was dumbfounded, "Uh...visit?"
"Yeah," Wang said, "talking face to face is a great way to solve relationship problems."
Feliciano thought about it as he ate the fish planks on his magenta tray. Hmm, he thought, maybe I could have Gilbert call him and see if he could visit me...I just have to prepare myself. Feliciano looked at Matthew intently, "Matt, I'm going to do it."
Matthew raised his hand for a high five, "Alright!"
Feliciano and Matthew high fived and Feliciano replied, "Okay," he glanced over at Gilbert who was sitting with Antonio and Francis, "I just have to talk to Gilbert."
Matthew turned to look in the same direction, "Yeah, if he can't get a hold of his brother, no one can."
The staff concluded dinner and everyone headed back to their rooms to get ready for bed or headed towards the middle day room to watch television. Feliciano did the latter and sat next to Arthur at the big center table while everyone watched BET.
"So," Feliciano said, "how do you like your first day here, Arthur?"
"Oh, this isn't my first time here, you see." Arthur replied, "This is my second time, I believe."
"Oh," Feliciano laughed nervously, "I-I didn't know."
Arthur patted him on the back, "No need to be sad! I should have told you earlier."
Feliciano chuckled, "Yeah…I guess so."
"Want to head back to our room? It's kind of boring in here."
When Arthur and Feliciano had gotten back to their room, they both sat on their beds and then lied down. Feliciano found out that Arthur was a few years younger than him and that he once blew up on his parents which caused him to come here the first time. Feliciano then told him what happened his first day at Queenswood in full detail which left the room quiet for a few minutes as Arthur processed the information he just learned.
"Anyway," Arthur said, "do you want to sing? Singing always gets me out of a bad mood."
Feliciano was somewhat confused, "Sing? Well okay." Arthur began to sing "We Are Young" by the band FUN and he genuinely sang well. Feliciano only knew the chorus so he waited and when it came he shouted, "TONIGHT, WE ARE YOUNG, SO LE—"
Arthur shushed him as quickly as he could, "Shhhhh! People are probably trying to go to bed!"
Then as soon as he did a nurse came into the room, "It's time for your medicine Arthur and Feliciano." Feliciano then took his small dose of Zoloft and Vicodin and Arthur took his medicine. When the nurse left Arthur threw a pillow at Feliciano.
"You've could have gotten us in big trouble!" Arthur laughed.
"Shut up!" Feliciano retorted sarcastically.
Matthew was still in the middle day room after he called his dad since he wanted to converse with Gilbert. Gilbert was sitting right next to him watching television.
"Hey, Gil?" Matthew asked quietly.
Gilbert's eyes were still locked on the television screen, "Yeah?"
"Feliciano wants your brother to visit him; could you arrange that?"
Gilbert turned to face Matthew, "But he can't even talk to him on the phone."
"Yeah, but that was earlier. He really wants to patch things up with him."
"Okay," Gilbert sighed, "I'll see what I can do."
"Great. Well," Matthew yawned, "I'm going to bed, see ya in the morning."
Gilbert replied as Matthew walked away, "See you later."
Feliciano and Arthur fell asleep after a few minutes of singing.
Feliciano was thrown into the small, orange lit bathroom by Ludwig; he hit the floor with a thud.
"Lud-Ludwig?!" Feliciano stammered weakly.
"Shut up, you weak pussy," the strong German replied.
Feliciano's strength returned as he stood up to face Ludwig; he then lunged at the German. "YOU REALLY THINK I'M WEAK, HUH?!" Feliciano shoved him to the ground and kicked him in the face. However the German stood upright in a matter of seconds and punched Feliciano in the face which made him fall into the oddly placed bathtub.
"Yes," he began to unzip his pants, "I do."
Feliciano began to panic; no, not again, he thought. He then was dominated by Ludwig whose hard member was on top of Feliciano's groin as he unzipped Feliciano's pants. As he was fiddling with the stuck zipper, Feliciano shrimped up and then put his feet onto Ludwig's bent knees which weirdly fit in the bathtub with him. As Ludwig tried to control Feliciano again, Feliciano stuck out his arms straight like in the rape self-defense video he saw on the popular social networking web site, Tumblr, a few weeks ago. This caught Ludwig and put him in Feliciano's control. Feliciano then kicked him in the face which sent Ludwig to double over backwards on the edge of the tub. Feliciano then stood up and stomped on Ludwig's open member which caused Ludwig to groan. Feliciano then jumped out of the tub and ran out the bathroom; little did he know he was being followed by a stumbling Ludwig.
He ran down the dark hall as soon as he heard footsteps behind him; the hallway seemed endless and had a lit doorway at the end. The footsteps had gotten louder and louder and Feliciano sprinted faster and faster. Feliciano then tripped on his own footing and hit the flo—
Feliciano sprang up from his bed in a cold sweat. Realizing none of the events were real, he grabbed his pillow and began to scream in it. This had awakened his roommate.
"Feli-Feliciano?" Arthur asked with a tired lag to his voice, "What's wrong?"
Feliciano did not even hear him as he continued to cry into the pillow. Arthur then got up and touched him on the shoulder; this caused Feliciano to jump.
"Wh-What?" Feliciano spluttered with tears in his eyes.
"Well I overheard you screaming in your pillow….Is everything okay?"
The male nurse then called Feliciano for vitals; this happens every morning. As he sat in that same rough azure chair and tried his best calm down so the blood pressure reading could be accurate. The thermometer was also stuck in his mouth. Both readings were fortunately normal. As Feliciano walked back to his room he decided to act like the dream never happened because frankly, it never did. When he entered room four hundred two, Arthur gazed at him puzzled but did not utter a word.
Feliciano figured he had to break the ice, "It was just a nightmare, that's all."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Arthur said sympathetically.
"Nope, at least not right now."
The room remained silent until everyone was called for breakfast. Once at breakfast, Feliciano had gotten oatmeal and scrambled eggs. He sat in the same spot as yesterday and this time Gilbert and Matthew sat in front of him. Meanwhile everyone else sat in their same spots.
"Yo, Feli. West agreed to visit you." Gilbert said with a mouthful of food in his mouth.
Feliciano noticed his oatmeal jiggled when he prodded it with his spoon, "Really?" He looks up at Gilbert, "When does he want to visit?"
Feliciano's heart dropped. No, no, no, no, he thought, not today. "Well, I guess I have to face him sometime."
Matthew intervened, "That's the spirit!"
Jett butted in tiredly, "Hey, people are trying to sleep here."
Feliciano tasted the tasteless oatmeal and spit it out, "Yuck."
Gilbert asked, "What's wrong with it?"
"Tastes like mush."
Jett laughed, "Yeah that sounds about right."
Feliciano tasted his eggs and they frankly tasted old. He decided to throw away his food and when he came back he asked, "So what time is Ludwig coming today?"
Gilbert swallowed his food, "About three."
"Oh, okay." Great, Feliciano thought, I have time.
The staff then ended breakfast and everyone headed to the middle day room to do the morning ritual of filling out mood sheets. However, Feliciano went to his room to go wash up for the day.
When he arrived at his room, he was gladly alone. He shut the door behind him and slid to the floor while letting out a sigh. The dream replayed in Feliciano's mind:
"Lud-Ludwig?!" Feliciano stammered weakly.
"Shut up, you weak pussy," the strong German replied.
He shook his head, "It didn't happen; It didn't happen."
He then stood up and went into the bathroom and shut the door. He looked in the distorted mirror and noticed something. His eyes were baggy and red, his expression was droopy and depressing, and the fact he was not him. He was not the pasta loving, happy go-lucky guy anymore. He was someone else. Was it someone he wanted to be? He did not know.