Friday. Yes, Friday. That's the day I am going to tell Chyna.
Well, not tell... I was really bad with words. I was going to show her.
Chyna is my muse, my inspiration, my joy. There is no way I can mess this up anymore.
I've waited too long not to tell her. I have to know how she feels.
I stuck the note in a tiny envelope and stuck it into her locker, made sure no one was looking, and I simply walked away.
As I write this note, my heart leaps with joy. At the thought of you reading this, my heart beats a million times a minute. And suddenly I am not standing on earth because of gravity, but because of you. You will see who I am very soon, I'm closer than you think.
I blinked twice, rubbed my eyes, and looked down.
The note was still there.
I need to process this.
I, Chyna Parks, have a secret admirer.
I've never been "liked" before. Sure, I've gone on dates before, but all of the guys were jerks.
You see, I've never cared about appearance, or money or clothes. It was just someone's personality.
I liked sensitive guys, ones who'd bring you flowers every day and send those corny good night texts.
That's who I thought my secret admirer would be.
It was hard not to start screaming and jump up and down. I knew that somewhere my secret admirer was watching me.
I had to play cool.
I smiled, looked around, flipped my hair in the most flirtatious way possible, and put the note back in my locker.
The rest of the day went by in blur. All I did was think about S.A.
I pictured him really smart, maybe a poet or maybe he had some sort of talent.
Maybe he was an A.N.T.
Maybe he was Fletcher.
She read it. She liked it… I hope.
All I really knew was that my chance was coming. I was finally going to do it.
I was going to tell Chyna Parks that I was madly in love with her.
I saw Chyna entering the A.N.T. Farm.
"Hey Fletcher," she said, with that sweet buttery voice that would make your heart melt.
"Hey Chyna, what's up?"
"Oh, not much…" A smirk appearing on her face.
Just then Olive walked in.
"Hey Chyna, why so happy?" Olive said.
"Oh ummm… I just got a note, from someone." Her smile getting wider.
"Oooohhh you have secret admirer?!" Olive screamed.
"I know right, ahhh!" Oh Chyna, why can't you see that it's me?
"Do you have any hunches?"
"No, he said he's someone close, maybe he's in the A.N.T. program."
"Maybe," Olive said.
"Maybe, alright well I have to get home. I've got a huge history test tomorrow."
"See yah," Olive said
"Bye," I said
She waved as she walked out the doors of the A.N.T. farm.
Olive turned to me.
"It's you, isn't it?" She said, a smile spreading wide across her lips.
"What?" I said, trying not to let my voice go high. I failed.
"Oh, don't play dumb. We all know you like Chyna."
"Is it really that obvious?"
"Yes, but you're lucky Chyna's clueless when it comes to guys."
I lied, there was no history test tomorrow, nor did I really want to go home.
But, I really have to think about who my secret admirer might be.
I went through a list of guys who may be him.
There was Angus, (blegh) Max, (okay) Jason, (nah) Zack, (NO), and Fletcher. (totes yes)
I knew Fletcher had given up on me, I knew after the first year.
We were 15 now, and ever since I first met him I liked him.
I was just deathly afraid to show it.
Fletcher had become really strong and tall over the years, making a lot of girls start to fall for him.
But not me, I had already gone down, plummeting to Earth and then had been lifted back up to Heaven every time I looked into his eyes.
I know it sounds sappy, but it's true.
I was never able to have a conversation alone with him for more than 30 seconds for fear my knees would go weak.
But he didn't notice that.
He didn't notice much of anything. He just sat there and stared, comforted me, made me laugh, and above all became the best friend anyone could ever have.
Ugh, how I wished he knew. It would be sooooo much easier.
I wish he knew I loved him, not just as a friend.
I wish he knew that I wrote songs about him on the weekends, adjusting the lyrics for hours just to capture his real beauty.
It was unfair to spend so much time on someone who may or may not love you back.
But that's what it's all about, falling and hoping he's there to catch you.