I didn't feel jittery at all, I didn't even have butterflies. I should, shouldn't I? Today is my wedding day. It has been two years since Zach and I got ingaged, almost two years since we brought a life into the world.

Even to me I looked stunning, and I don't say that very often. Macey and Bex, even my Mom and Abby, had pleaded to organize the wedding, but I stood my ground and told them it was my damn wedding, that they were not going to do for me.

I am not skinny yet not fat. I have muscular legs and arms, but am not some kind of superhuman person. My tummy is not flat but not jiggly, it is gently rounded I guess you could say. My bra is a size 36B so you have a general idea of what I look like. My eyes are blue, like my Dads. My nose is small, and very normal. Over all I am like the middle, not to this and not to much that.

My dress is simple yet elegent. It is white, with a hot pink band seperating the bottom form top. The top and bottom are both plain white, the dress is also strapless, it comes down too my feet.. I have no veil, my hair is simply straight. My skin is tan but not tan tan. The esembale is topped off with some hot pink converse sneakers.

Oh, there are the butterflies, or no those arn't butterflies. I reached the toilet right before I threw up. No I will not be sick on my wedding day, I will not.

After the wedding and crying, lots of crying. Zach and I were getting to go on our honey moon, of course our version of a honey moon was a stay in the wedding suite and a Hotel place.

Once we arrived and got unpacked we settled in taking naps here and there, pretty much just relaxing.

I threw up once after we got there, thank goodness Zach was downstairs getting our bags, or else I would be sentenced to bed rest with soup and sprite. The problen was I just couldn't figure out waht was wrong with me. I didn't have a fever I just puked a couple times.

Around 8p.m. we were both laying in the bed, "I want to go swim you wanna come?" Zach announced.

"Na, I might be down later."

"K," he said grabbing his swim trunks and leaving.

I was half way stood up when it hit again and I ran to the bathroom, this time I got a weird sense of deja vu. Just to double check I went down stairs, beign sure Zach didn't see me and bought a pregnancy test, but there was no way I could be pregnant right.

That reminded me of my child Madison I was glad to have a break but I still missed her so much, the reason I couldn't be pregnant though is because I am not ready for another kid at all. The reason I could be is because Zach stopped.. using, well, you know what, a week before our wedding, even though I diagreed.

I peed on the stick, waited five minutes and looked at the results, Oh no I am sooooo not ready to go through this ... again.

Please reveiw and I think I cought up on things but incase you dont get it go back and read my other story Cammie and a What! Baby