I do not own Twilight or its characters.
Authors Note at the bottom
To be happy means so much to me but took so long to achieve. Not once did I thought after he left I could find the strength within myself to make the move to recovery. It was not something I made an effort to execute during my self impose depression, and that's what it was, self imposed. Now that I look back on the time Edward and I were together, I realize that I did not love Edward as much as I love him. The way I love him is what I saw couples strive to have but it was always a dream that was out of reach for me, but this one, with him was not. It was perfectly within my grasp and I was adamant about not letting go so I held on with an iron clad grip and I am so glad I did. Letting go was never once an option with us. From seeing him the first time I knew, I knew I had finally found a reason to live, a reason to happy.
As I said before, happiness took me so long for me to accomplish. I was in love before, I would not call it love to its full potential but, it was still love but, just not the same. Edward will always be apart of my life, my teenage life that is, but without Edward Anthony Masen Cullen Jr. I would not have met him, I would not have had them and they, they mean the world to me.
Coming to forks had to been one of the best decisions in my life. I may have regretted some of the choices I made when coming here but I do not over all regret coming to the town that changed everything. I can truly say that everything happens for a reason. Renée marrying Phil was the one decision not even Alice could foresee. It was the decision that set everything in motion to bring me closer to them even if i meant staying in the rainiest part of Washington for a few years.
Starting school in a new place was never anyone's favorite unless you of course liked school, I did not hate it, I just did not like being the star pupil of attention. Back then I would have preferred to just arrived at Forks High without grabbing the attention of not only the whole town, but inevitably the whole school too. It was here where I first saw the Cullens, the family of animal drinking vampires. This was the time in my life I finally belonged somewhere, I had a family.
The Cullens were not like the rain battered folks in Folks that lived here from birth. They moved in the wet town a few years prior my moving here at least that's what Jessica sprouted out on my first day in the green and brown filled town. There were seven of them including Edward, his parents for all intensive purposes Carlisle and Esme, his siblings Emmett and Alice then the adopted twins Rosalie and Jasper. They were all beautiful in there own way even though Rosalie's beauty had rivaled even those on magazine covers.
But that was not what made them weird, according to the high school ohh so welcomer Jessica, they were together, Emmett and Rosalie and Alice and Jasper. The family that was brother and sister filled were together under the same household and there parents knew and approved. To me I personally did not see it as a problem because like she said in the end they were not related.
After that first day it was like cat and mouse with Edward and I. He had taken a great amount of time avoiding me and a lot of mix signals before we were inevitably together. I won't deny that my time with Edward was enjoyable just as it was bitter. Hiking with Edward, having dinner, being carried on his back, him sneaking in my room at night and of course our kisses were the things of our relationship I had enjoyed immensely albeit that only being a few of the things. While they were good and all there were the bitter times as well but that is something I had to learn that every relationship had, bitter times. Edward running of to Alaska, him telling me we can't be friends, the attack from James and the most bitter of them all was when he left me after the incident with Jasper at my party.
To this day I still do not regret how things with us ended. If Edward hadn't told me he no longer love me and what my role in his life was to him I would not have them. Even though at the time his words were cruel it was most definitely needed. Without it, the change of events would not have occurred and that was something I would have found a way to go back to fix, to do it all again just so our balance could have been restored just to have them, I would have done anything. When the Cullens left I went into depression, they just up and left without a word, without a goodbye and that was something I forgave them for but would never forget.
I remember the night that Edward left me in the woods, him having been the only one to say goodbye though it was in the most unsatisfying way. Still in a state of partial acceptance and disbelief I followed him. The guy I loved had just left me, of course back then I blame my slightly derange behavior on my inability to accept the dire need of maturity in the situation. Sam Uley, a resident of La Push, rescued my unresponsive slightly blue body on the forest floor faintly covered in the leaves that had fallen. To this day I still do not know how he found me. I was hidden in the most deepest part of Charlie's back yard. I remember opening my eyes to our yard filled with various people and flashlights beaming around soaring in different directions all pointing in various points throughout the towering forest. In the corner of my eye I saw Charlie scampering quick towards me screaming my name in panic and relief. Tilting my head slightly to get a better glimpse at him I licked my chapped lips and croaked what Sam has been hearing me say for the whole walk, "he's gone."
A light knock on the door broke my reverie of the past as I sat perched on a chair in my husband's office, novel laid out in front of me completely forgotten.
"Mommy we want to come in," said the voice of my three-year-old daughter. Giggles erupted on both sides of her announcing that her sisters were there also.
"Mia Amor," a voice said coming from the same direction announce another living presence inside the room.
My head swiveled around towards the direction, my dark brown tresses falling behind in sync with my sudden movement. I inhaled sharply the smell of his usual out-doorsy smell and a small hint of vanilla. A automatic small smile immediately fell upon my lips as both our liquid red eyes interlock with each others as if it were to be the last time we would have seen each other. There he stood, his impressive figure leaning against the frame of the door. His shoulder length sleek black hair framed the curves of his shoulders in the most taunting delicious ways that of a man could. The silky black robe trimmed with red around the cuffs he wore did not show much of the well toned body hidden under them. I unconsciously exhale as I watch that perfect smile I love etched across his pale skin. That smile he only had for the four of us.
"Aro," I breathed.
I thank all of you who continue to stick with me through out this. I am giving it another try but with a complete revision. I hope you guys like the change in the story. I will try to update as much as I can.
If you think I should continue with the story please let me know. Chapter two will be revised as well.
I hope you like it and please review. Goodnight