A/N: Just a crack fic I've been sitting on for a bit. I do not own Final Fantasy it belongs to Square-Enix. In the words of Fang 'Don't be shy.' Read and Review. :)

The group were trekking in Oerba, the remains of Fang and Vanille's home town. Vanille was teary-eyed the whole way and Fang was unusually quiet leaving the group in an awkward silence. All the houses that were still standing were all badly damaged, the paint all scratched off the tin metal roofs, debris scattered everywhere.

"So...which house did you own?" Sazh asked softly.

"Which house? All of em'." Vanille said in an attempt of cheeriness.

"In Oerba, it was a small village, everybody knew each other and so our homes were all shared sorta'." Fang explained to the group.

"Wouldn't hurt to take a peek eh?"
She added, her arms lightly folded.

A mile out, Fang and Vanille stopped at a particularly rustic house and trudged inside smiling. The house was old, much unlike Hope's house in Palumpolum but it gave the feeling of home.

"Bhakti!" Vanille screeched her attention on the small red service robot.

"Qerwe" It replied. The group was amazed such a thing could even be still alive after 500 years.

"Point to Pulse for structures then." Snow said chuckling.

"Gran Pulse." Fang corrected smirking.

The group took a look around; massive pots were hanging, ideally for group meals. A soft plush chocobo was on the cistern and a small cactus on the table, on the bench was a small photo frame of Fang and Vanille.

"Didn't figure the big brave Fang to be camera shy." Lightning teased, as Vanille was smiling happily in the photo whereas Fang had her head turned to the right.

"Hey I just wasn't paying attention, a little birdy caught my eye." She winked.

"Er birdy?" Hope asks confused.

"Yeah, quite the looker had long legs too."
Fang smirked as Lightning rolls her eyes and Sazh stands around looking awkward.

Hope looks disturbed at the thought of the Pulsain taking an interest in birds but he was much too scared to speak up about her weird attraction.

"Hey, are you talking bout' Spring Fang?" Vanille chattered excitedly.

"That'll be the one 'Nille."

"Ooooh! I had no idea you were interested in Spring!"

"Who is this Spring you speak of?" Snow asked smiling brightly.

"Never you mind." Fang smiles challengingly as Vanille giggles.
The group start walking to inspect the sleeping area.

"Oh and Lightnin'" Fang calls softly, making said woman stop as Vanille leads the party to the rooms.

"What, Fang?" She asks.

"Just so you know-" She leans in close to whisper in Light's ear.

"I'd much rather prefer your legs to hers anyway." The Pulsain chuckled.

Lightning gasped in embarrassment and shock, and then turned to face Fang in anger, only to see a hearty wink aimed at her as she stalks off.

The beds were all in bunk beds stacked to rows of three, made out of metal.

"We can camp here for the night, enough beds for everyone." Sazh suggested.

"Yeah, they're not that supportive so heavier people down the bottom, lightest up the top." Fang stated.

"I guess I'm at the top then?" Snow chuckles.

"Not a chance school boy." Lightning said coolly, who had regained her composure, but was still flushed in the cheeks which Fang was amused to see.

As the group started prepping for dinner, Hope took a look at the Oerbian toys.
Nothing catches his eye until he sees something smallish, shaped like- like a tiny rocket ship. It was made out of metal, and a black button at the bottom, which Hope soon discovered triggered it to vibrate.

"Whoa! This thing is awesome!" Hope said as he pushes the button and flies the 'rocket ship.' Snow hears and ducks his head through the door.

"What have you got ther-" He stops and roars into laughter and sprints out.

"What's so funny?" Sazh asks.

" ." Snow manages to say through fits of laughter. Sazh walks into the room, sees what Hope is playing with and facepalms.

"Ngh...I am getting to old for this."
Vanille and Fang walk in and chuckle and giggle.

"Should we tell him?" Fang asks.

"Tell him what?" Vanille asks.

"Eh...Never mind love." Fang chuckles, wondering which Oerbian owned one of these.

Lightning walks in and stops dead in her tracks, eyes the size of saucers.

"Hope! Put that down you don't know where that's been!"

"Why? It's an awesome rocket ship." Hope said.

"Hope, that's not an-" Light started.

"It's a rocket ship Lightnin'! Let me take a loo' at it Hope." Fang intervened quickly, as Hope passed her the toy.

Fang grabbed the end of the said toy, took a look in her pouch strapped to her sash until she found the Paraffin Oil and rubbed it clean.

"Shinier and Cleaner yes?" Fang gave back the toy to Hope and he starts playing with it again.

" !" Lightning started frustrated.

"Hey, we don't wanna' scare the kid, he'd never touch it again."

"Isn't that a GOOD thing?"

"Depends on the circumstances. And Vanille don't touch it 'kay?"


"Problem solved." Fang smiled.

"And might I ask why the hell you guys have that certain item in your room?" Lightning demands.

"No idea, guess one roommate wasn't gettin' some." Fang chuckled.


"And…how do YOU know what that item is eh? Snow and Sazh fair enough, their men, (Hey!) but you? Hiding somethin' are we?"

Lightning flushed and lightly punched Fang on the arm, her face breaking into a smile.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I'd think we'd both get the same answer Sunshine, difference being I don't bother to hide it." Fang taunted.

"And what would that answer be Fang?" The strawberry blonde asked firmly.

"Hmumumm...I think we both know it because-" Fang glanced sideways, Hope was still preoccupied playing with the Vibrator. "-We both are interested in the other side." Fang finished smirking, anticipating the Soldier's expression.

"I am not!" She huffed angrily, her face reddening by the thought.

"Oh really?" She challenged her again.

Toying with Lightning's sexuality was her favourite hobby, every time Lightning switched from Ravager to Commando, Fang would wiggle her hips at her suggestively or when they were alone trekking, Fang would stalk behind her the whole time before sneaking up on her, inches away, making the ex-soldier increasingly paranoid of what she would do to her each time, only to be met by a wicked torturous smile.

And let us not forget Fang's meaning of Sparring, which always led to Lightning ending up frustrated on the floor, Fang's legs on either side of hers as she pinned back her arms with hers and leaned her head right towards her to whisper

'You lose Sunshine. Try again?'

The heat of Lightning's way too short skirt and Fang's silky Sari, that when askew-which it always was when Fang was on her, revealed her black underwear, that would rub against each other and every resistance that Lightning made to get up, the friction from their fabric would cause pleasurable heat to both their cores.

"Really." Lightning's eyes narrowed not trusting the look that was in the Oerbian's eyes. And to be honest with herself, for a long time Claire thought herself to be completely asexual, not interested in anyone, then came the tall Oerbian Huntress, that challenged everything she thought to a point where she didn't know what she wanted.

Most of the time she wanted to ring her hands around the Oerbian's neck to strangle her, but other times she found herself wanting to pull her into a hot embrace, her own legs wrapping around her hips and- Focus! She thought.

"Heh. We'll see sunshine." Fang said putting emphasis on the nickname she hated so much.

"Yes we will, *Fangy*." Lightning smiled at her powerful name being evolved into something soaked In weakness.

"Grr. Oh! And Hope?" Fang said suddenly, knocking both teenager and young adult off-guard.

"Uh, yeah?" He asked unsurely.

"Where'd you find that uh, Toy?" Fang said.

"Under the pillow from the top right bunk bed."

"Really?" Fang asked shocked and smiled deviously.

"Yep." Hope replied.

"Oh Vannillllle!" Fang called; ready for the most interesting talk she'll have with the younger Pulsain yet.