Action speaks louder than words...but words give the symphony.
Out of all the smiling faces in the hall where the EHO Christmas party was being held, Kirishima's face was standing out. Not because of his dashing smile, but because he had the grimmest face among the rest.
It was EHO's tradition to have their company party always on December 25, not just their employees and agents but their families as well. And despite the festive atmosphere, Kirishima was surrounded by the aura to kill. Even Leon had to tone down his jokes around his Chief. Just by looking at the man's face he knew Kirishima Zen was soon to snap.
December 23 was the last time Kirishima saw Yokozawa's shadow. The man just disappeared without so much as a notice. And at that moment, Kirishima's eyes were narrowing into cold slits as he watched the man wearing a black suit, talk merrily with the others in the hall, looking so damn fine and guiltless.
Kirishima had his arms across his chest, passing his irritation on chewing a gum. He would slightly bow his head occasionally when someone tries to talk to him. But the air around him was too suffocating, people were starting to back away. Leon was the only one who had the nerve to join Kirishima in his wall.
"Ei, Chief," Leon started popping a cherry first into his mouth before talking. "I've never seen you so pissed this much. Why don't you try enjoying the evening? The food is..."
Kirishima who just took a glass of wine let out a low growl Leon stared wide eyed at his Chief. "Chief~?"
"Who is that man over there? That moron wearing eyeglasses?" Kirishima asked in a voice almost with a threat already. Yokozawa disappeared, and appeared without notice, and in his eyes, the man was being almost too chummy with that nerd looking guy, he was completely about to lose it.
Leon raised an eyebrow, knowing the real reason why Kirishima was in a very bad mood the past two days. And it even doubled at that Christmas party. When Yokozawa entered the hall, he just bowed his head slightly acknowledging Kirishima then started running around the hall, talking to almost everybody. And Leon would always see that rare glint of something scary in Kirishima's eyes as he watched Yokozawa in the hall.
"Geez, this two..." Leon thought to himself, he knew where Yokozawa had gone to, but he realized it was best for the two to discuss it with themselves.
"Ermm...That moro~I mean, that guy, is the EHO President's only son, Himura-san. He was in a mission in China and just got back today, that's what I heard..." Leon answered carefully as he scrutinized the guy from afar. A little taller than Yokozawa, the man Kirishima was calling as a moron was actually scholarly looking. He carried himself very well, talked with an admirable tone and a Kendo Champion.
"Hmm..." the other man replied with a disgusted face.
Kirishima fell silent after that. He just watched Yokozawa talk lively with the moron. It pissed the hell out of him but he wasn't that childish to go into a rant. Well, not yet.
"Fuck..." Kirishima hissed as he slammed down his glass of wine on the nearest table from him. The Himura guy just rested his freakin arm on Yokozawa's shoulders while chatting. And Yokozawa didn't do anything and continued smiling and chuckling like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Kirishima had always considered himself as level-headed. One who had patience anyone admired, but his patience was nowhere to be found, he realized when it comes to Yokozawa. And he was freaking furious at the man for a lot of reasons.
Kirishima found himself walking where Yokozawa and the nerd was. The two already left their previous group and was already talking with only just the two of them. When he reached them, he smiled like some host at Himura, but he paused longer at Yokozawa who was staring at him with unbelieving eyes.
"Good evening, I'm Kirishima, Himura-san, right?" Kirishima started, extending his stiff hand.
Himura smiled, flashing his toothpaste-model-like grin before clasping Kirishima's hand in a tight shake. "Hello, it's nice to meet you Kirishima-san. I'm Himura."
Suddenly, Kirishima tapped Yokozawa on the shoulder with a cold smile plastered on his face. "Long time no see...Yokozawa-san..." his tongue rolled thickly.
Yokozawa frowned at the tone of the man's voice but ignored it.
"So, Yokozawa-san, as I was saying, I have to go now. But be sure to leave your Monday next week free okay?" Himura said, lightly tapping Yokozawa on the chest. If anyone saw Kirishima's death glare, it was only Yokozawa. "I'm sure you won't regret it. So then...Kirishima-san, I'll be going first."
Kirishima and Yokozawa watched the man in a total casual wear disappear among the crowd. After a couple minutes of silence, Yokozawa turned to look at Kirishima's expressionless face.
"Will you stop giving off that aura of yours? You're affecting others...it's even Christmas," Yokozawa started loosening his tie a little.
Kirishima smoothly rested his arm on Yokozawa's shoulder just like how Himura did earlier. Lowering his head a little, he murmured something at Yokozawa's ear that sent the man backing away.
"What the hell, why are you freaking in a bad mood? Fine, let's talk somewhere else," Yokozawa said in an irritated voice.
The walk from the cheerful hall, down to the empty hallways to one of the unused conference rooms was nothing but silence. It was only the soles of shoes and the rustle of their clothes that filled the silence as they continued to walk.
It was Kirishima who entered first. He waited until Yokozawa was already sitting on the edge of the long round table before closing the door. With a soft thud, Kirishima rested his back against the closed door, eyeing Yokozawa intently. Yokozawa stared back, crossing his arms across his chest.
"So then, what is your problem?" Yokozawa asked ruffling his hair. 'Well, I know half the reason why, but...the hell, isn't he a bit too much irrate for not being contacted for just two days?'
"Do you really have to ask? You disappeared for two days, no one in EHO knew where you've been, I would have searched the entire Japan if I didn't have my own work to do, which is totally unethical if I left them undone, but man, have your fingers become paralized you can't send a text that you're damn okay?"
Yokozawa gaped in awe as Kirishima tried to calm his rising anger. He was almost running after his breath, his brows furrowed.
Kirishima laughed. "And after two days, you popped up like a mushroom, totally acting as if there's nothing."
"Tsk..." Yokozawa cut off. "Why are you being so stubborn about this. We both know in our line of work, things happen, and I had an emergency. Things got complicated I can't contact everyone. Chill."
Kirishima walked towards Yokozawa, grabbing the man's necktie to pull the man closer to his face. "That is the fucking reason you have to let me know that you are okay. Do you have any idea how many scenarios have been running in my head?"
Getting irritated himself, Yokozawa slapped Kirishima's hand away. "I am really getting annoyed at how you're acting, Kirishima."
Kirishima suddenly smiled. The kind that showed no any humor. Leaning closer to Yokozawa who was almost already lying on top of the table, Kirishima smirked.
"So then, aren't we feeling a little too close with that Himura? And what's that again? Monday next week?" Kirishima narrowed his eyes, his face barely an inch away. Yokozawa didn't budge though. If they would be having a glaring contest, he won't let the other man win so easily.
"Oi," Yokozawa started, smirking himself. "This~ is so not like you. Can you calm down a little?"
Kirishima exhaled, which allowed Yokozawa to catch a whiff of Kirishima's favorite mint gum. Kirishima did it to calm himself but it did nothing to help ease his rising irritation.
"Forget your disappearance, but I don't understand why you're allowing that Himura to hit on you, and you did nothing but grin like stupid."
Yokozawa's frown grew even deeper at the accusation, he pushed Kirishima away by the shoulders. "What the heck, Himura is a good friend of mine ever since. Pull yourself together will you?" Yokozawa fished his vibrating phone out of his pocket. It was a call from one of their colleagues. "Seriously," Yokozawa said before aswering the phone, "Don't you understand your actions? You're acting funny... Yes~ Kurogawa-san?"
Kirishima smiled at himself, and all of a sudden grabbed the phone away from Yokozawa's hand, removing the battery and throwing the phone somewhere in only a matter of seconds. Yokozawa just stared with disbelief at what happened to his precious phone.
"Yo-you! What the fu-"
The baffled man wasn't able to finish what he was about to say as Kirishima pinned him down the long table, capturing his mouth with a very hard kiss. Yokozawa was caught off guard that he just stared hard at the strands of hair from Kirishima touching his eyes. Surprise and his senses being taken over left him unmoving for some minutes.
However, Yokozawa snapped back to reality when he felt a hand groping in his crotch. Eyes widening, he broke off the kiss by biting Kirishima's lips. It made Kirishima flinch, as the sting started to numb his flesh.
A grunt escaped Kirishima's mouth as he moved his head away from Yokozawa, still not moving off the man. He raised the back of his palm and wiped the warm liquid on his lips.
Breathing heavily, Yokozawa glared hard at the man hovering above him. He felt damn guilty for biting a little too hard that he broke skin. But Kirishima was being too forceful and he didn't like it.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" Yokozawa spat.
The other man sighed, ignoring the blood on his lips, running his hand through his hair. Yokozawa turned to the side in an attempt to completely break away from kirishima, but instead, he felt himself slam back on the table, now lying on his stomach and his hands pinned behind his back.
"Kirishima..." he growled with a deadly tone.
Face hidden by the shadows, Kirishima moved his face closer to Yokozawa's nape and lightly brushed his lips against the warm skin.
"Stop this right now!"
"Hey, Yokozawa, you're right, I don't know what I am doing..."
"I told you, this is the first time I felt this way. That's why I don't know."
Yokozawa tried to free his hands, but Kirishima had them in a tight grip, and each time he moved, he felt himself sinking even more on the hard surface. "Sh-it."
Despite not wanting it, Yokozawa let out a gasp when Kirishima started nipping on his earlobe, before whispering complete nonsense again. "Ah-But I know one thing. That is the want to completely monopolize you."
"Can you get off of me-NOW?!"
Whispering so softly, it seemed like only a breath brushing inside Yokozawa's ear, Kirishima closed his eyes.
"Listen to me real good, Yokozawa... if you're really against this, push me away harder. Hit me stronger. Struggle more. Because your half-assed objections lead me to think that you're fine with me or there is just...nothing."
Yokozawa felt, his arms would dislocate already as Kirishima pressed him harder on the table, he grunted.
"I wouldn't mind locking you up somewhere for myself if that is the only way for me to be sure you're mine. But that would be inconsiderate in your part..."
Just as quickly he was pinned down, everything lightened. His arms were freed, there was no weight pressing on him. He sat fast and saw Kirishima already opening the door.
"Return to the hall. I'll be going back now."
Tired at the not so good encounter with Kirishima, Yokozawa dragged himself back into the hall where people were merrily chatting away the night. The serene and cold night was perfect for drinking with friends, that was why, when Yokozawa started searching for his team to greet them properly, he found them outside the hall, into the huge garden, laughing loudly.
When he reached the bunch, he realized that one of his men wasn't really laughing but wailing, due to drunkenness.
"Oh-Yokozawa-saaaaan...mellllllllllly quishmash..." the man greeted raising a bottle of wine towards Yokozawa.
"Why'd you let this punk drink so much?" Yokozawa asked, eyeing the other men who was surrounding the drunken mess.
"Eh-Chief, just let him be...he's broken hearted," one of the men answered.
'Broken hearted? Him?" Yokozawa blurted, totally unbelieving that his man, with a wrestler body, bawl like a baby because he was broken hearted. It gathered a roar of laughter from the bunch.
"Uwah-Yokozawa-san so cruel..." they hooted.
The drunken mess hiccupped and slumped on the cold floor now crying.
"You-fools...you jont kno, how it feels..." he started wailing.
Disgusted at the sight of a fully grown man wailing like someone just took his candy, Yokozawa kneeled beside the guy and tapped him on the shoulder. "Oi..." Yokozawa threw a glare at the still laughing men before looking back at the crying man beside him.
"Look, can you at least calm down?"
"But Chief...look at meh! Quishmas and I am alone..."
"Ah damn it...I'll have to be a councilor or something?" "You're not alone...see...your bastard comrades are cheering you on..."
The man threw the bottle on the ground. Good thing it landed on the soft grass and not on the concrete. "Chief-tell me...why? Why is she so cruel?"
"How would I know!" The other guys just laughed harder. "Damn you bastards, if you're not going to calm this fool, don't make fun of him!"
The guy threw up and wiped his mouth with his sleeves, still hiccupping. The other men already left after half an hour, seeing the man they're laughing about was already sober. They'd look for someone to laugh at somewhere.
"Feeling better?" Yokozawa asked as he handed a glass of water to Kiyoshi.
"Don't mention it." Yokozawa replied, sipping a little of the glass of wine he took on the way from getting water.
"Chief-I really love her you know..."
Yokozawa sighed, not wanting to listen to a love problem when his insides was still messed up. But he chose to just stay quiet and listen.
"Why, she dumped you or something?"
Kiyoshi, even though he was like a brawler, he was actually very timid and kind. So somehow, Yokozawa felt bad to see one of his men cry like how he did earlier. Sure he was under the effect of alcohol, but wasn't alcohol just helps real, burried feeling surface?
"Chief, it's more painful than being dumped. I'd rather her doing that than how she is treating me..."
With that, Yokozawa suddenly got interested. What is more painful than being rejected anyways?
Kiyoshi rested his back on the huge post and sighed, his breath clearly visible. "I don't know what to expect or think anymore Chief. I mean, she lets me kiss her, she lets me hug her from time to time...but everytime I tell her I love her, she acts as if its nothing important. I follow her everytime, she doesn't complain, she shows concern for me which makes me really happy, but when it comes down to it...she backs away, looking at me with a glare like I am a monster. But all I want is assurance from her that we're going steady!"
Yokozawa cleared his throat. Why was the girl somehow similar to someone he knew?
"But~" Yokozawa started, looking at the red liquid in his glass. "the way you described her, I mean, she clearly likes you...maybe she's just not used to telling them outright..."
"Heh...but Chief, if you really like the person, isn't it that you'd naturally assure them you love them by your actions, backed up by words? I am not asking her to chant she loves me...all I'm asking is hearing it from her mouth that everything is not just me getting ahead of myself."
"Hmm...well, action speaks louder than words right?"
Kiyoshi laughed in exasperation. "Well Chief...that is true...but you won't understand how I feel, saying 'I love you' all the time and gets no response. I believe in that too Chief...and I understand that it's the true things that are the hardest to admit...but you know...I realized one thing. There are only two reasons why a person can't say he or she loves someone back."
Yokozawa's grip on the glass tightened almost as if he was breaking it.
"One...they're really the extreme shy types...or two...they really don't feel anything in return. Which leads me to two, because that is more sensible."
"Then..what are you gonna do?"
"It's tiring Chief...sometimes...it leads me to thinking of just giving up and finding someone el~"
Kiyoshi stared dumbfounded when Yokozawa just dashed without saying anything, leaving him alone. "...but...of course I won't give up..." he continued to air before going back to the warmth the hall was offering.
The echo of running shoes into the empty hallways of the sleeping quarters was so loud in Yokozawa's ears. He just ran like an idiot when he heard the word 'tired' and Kirishima's words earlier kept on repeating in his muddled head.
"Yokozawa... if you're really against this, push me away harder. Hit me stronger. Struggle more. Because your half-assed objections lead me to think that you're fine with me or there is just...nothing."
"Give up? After all the stupid things he'd been saying since the beginning, trying to force his way in my life? I am not going to just sit back and allow it..."
"That moron...is he thinking that I'm just toying with him?! If you only knew...how hard I worked for us to be together..."
He felt his face burning at the realization. It may not show in him physically but he was just one of those extremely shy types when it comes to these things, what's more, it was with a man no less.
Yokozawa ran the steps up to Kirishima's floor three at a time, sometimes almost tripping over. When he reached the sixth floor, he was already out of breath, his face and body all sweaty despite the cold temparature. Why he just ran for about 20 minutes without stopping just to get to where he was standing now.
Filling his lungs first with the misty air, Yokozawa just turned the knob, telling himself that if it was locked, he'd smash the door down.
But the knob turned as if it was waiting for him.
He barged in the room like he owned it and saw Kirishima staring wide eyed at him. He was apparently on his way to the refrigerator to get some beer.
"Yokozawa?" He muttered in a surprised face it was almost comical the way he stared at Yokozawa as if he couldn't believe it.
With a deep frown, Yokozawa slammed the door shut and took huge steps towards Kirishima.
"What is it? You're going to give up because I won't say it and won't let you do it?!" Yokozawa yelled.
Kirishima cocked his head to the side, clueless at why Yokozawa was acting strange. Looking at the man with a red face, breathing heavily, sweat on his forehead, there was only one thing he could think of. "Are you drunk?"
"Damn it. Am not!"
Kirishima eyed Yokozawa intently as if scrutinizing him, it made Yokozawa feel somehow very conscious. "You want some beer too?" He asked before turning his back.
"Kirishima, about earlier..."
The other guy stopped on his way and turned his head.
"I mean...the two days I was gone, I couldn't really do anything about it, I-went to a secluded area and there's no signal there...so...that is really why..." Yokozawa's eyes were wandering at his surroundings but never landed on Kirishima.
"And Himura...he really is just a good friend...and the Monday...his sister was opening a cafe...so he's inviting me..."
Kirishima just stood there watching.
"Do-you want to know more?!" Yokozawa asked as if he was mad, but he was just really embarrassed at how he was acting like he was a teenager in confession.
When Yokozawa gathered his wits and tried to look at Kirishima, the man was already moving towards him. But he didn't move away and just looked.
Kirishima stood in front of Yokozawa, lifting his hands to Yokozawa's shoulders. "Why are you telling me this?" He asked while his fingers were already doing their stuff on Yokozawa's buttons.
Pasting a cool expression, despite his real self breaking out in cold sweat, Yokozawa glared at Kirishima. "YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY! DAMN IT!"
The other man chuckled, as his arms encirled Yokozawa's waist. "I love it when you give me your 'love glare'...but I want to hear it from you."
"Lo-love glare?!" Yokozawa exclaimed. "Am not giving you love glare!"
Kirishima pulled Yokozawa to his chest, his hands dancing on the man's back. "Aww~ come on...didn't you rush in here to tell me something?"
Kirishima had already burried his head on Yokozawa's neck, Yokozawa could feel the trace of smiling lips against his skin.
"Shying away at the last minute, are we?"
Yokozawa shut his eyes and finally surrendered. Why is the freakin' three-word sentence so damn hard to say? He screamed inside his head.
Mustering the strenght he he had inside him mentally, Yokozawa drew a deep breath and mumbled on Kirishima's broad shoulder.
"I~I am not like you who're so shamelessly saying love stuff and all that shit...at least get it into your skull that you're important to me..."
"Fuck you...you're too confident now huh?"
"Shhhsh..we'll do that..." Kirishima laughed on Yokozawa's neck, the other man tensed. From where was that confidence coming? "But you have one more thing to say, right?"
Gritting his teeth, not wanting to give Kirishima more pleasure from teasing him, Yokozawa turned his head towards the head nuzzling on his neck so he didn't have to say it too loudly. And just as soft as a whisper, he sighed into Kirishima's ears, the words he never would have imagined in his life to be saying towards another man.
Kirishima stood straight, his hands on Yokozawa's arms as he searched the man's eyes. "Can you repeat that? I hardly heard it..."
"I AM NOT GOING TO REPEAT THAT EMBARRASSING TH~"
Soft lips halted Yokozawa's complaints. And he felt his knees already giving out. "What's this...?...What's this?" Yokozawa repeated inside his head over and over again. The other man had him already pinned down on the sofa with him just obliging like a good kid. But his heart was thumping so hard he felt his heart would leap out of his throat any minute. His chest was so tight breathing was so hard, he could only watch at Kirishima take his shirt off.
Both arms on the sides of Yokozawa, confining him as if afraid that the man would run away again, Kirishima leaned closer. Smiling. Yokozawa couldn't shake off in his mind if what he saw on the sides of Kirishima's eyes was tears...and yet he could not focus his mind any more, as his heart grew thumping more violently, as he watched Kirishima slowly pull his neck tie away.
"Yokozawa...can you feel that?"
"If you're asking about your thing...you're so shameless!"
Kirishima, slid his hands on the already exposed chest before him, his hands just barely touching the skin. "There is 'that'...but...Yokozawa..." Kirishima lowered his face down to Yokozawa's. "The feeling of that heat...from that excitement of being one in body and in words...don't you feel that?"
Thunderstruck, Yokozawa just gulped as he stared at Kirishima's eyes.
"Not going to run away anymore?"
"Who's running away!?"
"Not gonna bite my lips anymore?"
The guilt Yokozawa had about that incident became fresh once more, and instead of answering in words, he did it in action. Yokozawa pulled Kirishima by the neck, encircling his arms around it as he initiated a kiss. For a moment, Kirishima was motionless that allowed Yokozawa to completely take control, wandering his tongue inside Kirishima's mouth.
But it didn't last long, as Kirishima started to take over.
Feeling a searing pain that ran from his bottom down to his spine, Yokozawa clung tightly on Kirishima as the steady rythm of thrusting and grinding, sent him senseless. His mind was blank.
Before they started, he was actually thinking why he'd be the bottom, but the moment, Kirishima started pouring on little kisses on his face, his neck while his hands skillfully held his member, his brains, with his entire strenght went mushy.
"Haa...Kirishi-Kirishima..." He blurted, as he felt sudden waves of intensity blurring his every being.
"Yokozawa..." the man panted, ever increasing in speed. "Don't -agh-chant my name like that...I'd go crazy..."
Kirishima's face which was nuzzled on Yokozawa's sweaty neck moved up to capture again the lips he was craving for, his tongue, mimicking his thrusts and Yokozawa was just left to pant and gasp beneath him.
Pounding into each other like crazy beasts, they made love several times.
Both lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling completely drained, Kirishima shuffled to his side and stared at Yokozawa's sweaty profile.
"You'll burn a hole in my face like that."
"I like your sweaty look. Makes me feel I could go for more..."
"Please...shut-up..." Yokozawa spat.
Acting like a spoiled child, Kirishima moved closer to Yokozawa, resting his leg on Yokozawa's. At the weight and contact, Yokozawa started struggling.
"Can you let me rest in peace for a while?! You went into a frenzy, dumbass. Let me rest."
A faint chuckle filled the room and out of nowhere, Yokozawa felt himself, leave the softness of the wide bed. How they got there from the living room was a mystery too for himself. Yokozawa felt warm skin instead after Kirishima had him rest on his chest. He was shocked but he wouldn't complain at something that feels so good and content.
"Hey...can you tell me you love me again?"
"I AM NOT GOING TO SAY THOSE THINGS EVER AGAIN! YOU SHOULD HAVE RECORDED IT COZ I WILL ONLY SAY IT ONCE EVERY CHRISTMAS!"
Hugging Yokozawa tighter, Kirishima brushed his lips on Yokozawa's shoulder. "Actually, you really didn't have to say you love me in the first place..."
Yokozawa raised his head to glare at Kirishima. "What are you going on about?"
"You know the reason I was so shocked when you barged in the room earlier?"
"What about it?" Yokozawa muttered irritated.
"I said...'if Yokozawa comes in without knocking, he's completely head over heels with me'...and then you right away appeared before me..."
Turning red to his ears, Yokozawa moved away but Kirishima stopped him.
"What are you? A child?!"
Kirishima laughed. "But it's too good to be just a coincidence right?"
"You have really strange interpretations! I'm going to the bath!"
But Kirishima's hug just got tighter. "Stupid...this is the first time...but definitely not the last for the night...you are not going anywhere..."
"Wha-what the hell?!"
Moments later, Kirishima found Yokozawa sleeping soundly with his arms under him as a pillow. He gently brushed Yokozawa's hair away from his eyes and pulled the blanket properly.
The sound of Yokozawa's breath and the rising of his chest while he sleep was enough for Kirishima. He was really happy he could cry. Yokozawa, with his stubborness might not realize it. But he just gave out a huge confession without knowing it.
"...YOU SHOULD HAVE RECORDED IT COZ I WILL ONLY SAY IT ONCE EVERY CHRISTMAS..."
Kirishima smiled as he remembered it. Kissing Yokozawa's forehead before closing his eyes to sleep, Kirishima sighed totally in a bliss.
Didn't that just mean that Yokozawa was already unconsciously thinking that they'd be together next Christmas, and the coming Christmas over the years? For Kirishima, it's a confession worth a lifetime. Because although he knew the road was rough, both of them being stubborn at times, he also was thinking the same thing.
chapter end notes:
hAHAHA...i am sorry, i am not in the mood for any lemons...i tried but i couldn't. i just like it that way.^^ i think it's sweet enough like that and if i forced to insert lemons, i will just ruin it...hehehe...BUT I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER. i havent updated lately that doing it now felt somehow awkward...feels like its been years! hahaha...
THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE.^^!
i figured this is the last chapter...just tell me if you still want some extra or something. i am happy to have given all couples their moments...a first yaoi fic i ever wrote where i managed to pull through.
ALL YOUR SUPPORT ARE IN MY HEART FOREVER! ^^