I don't own them. Unbeta'd. For my soulmate Annie. I saw this prompt and thought of you immediately ;)

Word Prompt: Groom

Plot Generator—Binding Blurb: In 500 words or fewer, write a blurb or a short entry about getting down and dirty.


"Don't do this... please? For me?"

Edward's laughter bounces around the steamy bathroom. I narrow my eyes at him and shift on my perch atop the double sink vanity. He doesn't understand what he's doing to me.

"I have to, you know this interview is important. Stop whining about it," he says, swatting my hand away from his face, "it'll grow back." He gathers up his supplies and I sigh in defeat. I pretend to cry a little and he laughs again, readjusting the towel around his waist. I reach out and slide my fingers through his chest hair.

"At least I'll still have this," I murmur, faux sad.

"Mmmhmm," he murmurs back, wiping steam from the mirror so he can examine his perfect face. He uncaps the foam and I whimper. He beams, amused. The rat. He fills his hand with the creamy white foam and I freak out.

"Wait, wait. One more kiss," I beg. His green eyes sparkle at me and he leans in slowly.

Oh, my Edward. Always so obliging.

He cups my head - with his non-foamy hand - and kisses me, deeply. I revel in the scratch of his beard, the beard I'm about to lose, the silky roughness of those dark golden whiskers the perfect complement to the sweet smooth heat of Edward's mouth and tongue. The kiss goes on, both of us making small sounds of pleasure. We know it isn't going any further; he needs to get ready and we've just given each other a good workout in the shower. He was obliging under the spray too. My inner thighs are damn near rubbed raw. He kissed - and rubbed - every inch of me in a bittersweet farewell to his beloved beard. Edward is my favourite loofah. He's my secret beauty trick.

Okay, it's a fetish. I need help.

We're both breathless when he finally pulls away. Edward kisses my nose and then dabs shaving cream there. He turns to his terrible task.

And I watch. Awestruck and horrified at the same time.

He lathers up and grabs his razor, tilting his head back to start on his neck. The razor slides through, revealing a swath of smooth skin. He rinses the blade and repeats, over and over, and my precious is scraped away and ignobly rinsed down the drain. Edward is focused, concentrating carefully as he finishes the last of it around his mouth, takes one last swipe along his strong, square jaw. He rinses his now smooth face and towels off. He looks at me shyly.

"Will I do? It feels weird..." He runs his thumb along his cheek and I reach out to touch too.

"Come here," I whisper. Edward stands between my legs and kisses me again, smooth and damp and spicy smelling. It's every bit as wonderful. Of course.

It's Edward.

Besides, he's right.

It'll grow back.


Thanks for reading. If you have a moment, check out the poll at the Lemonade Stand for Fic of the Week. When Will I Know is up! Whee. Link is on my profile.

How do you like your Edward *coughrobcough* Beardy or smooth? There's no wrong answer, is there?