Unlike Twins


Klaus Schilling


Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: iDon't Own Unfabulous or any other of the shows or works of arts used for this story.
Abstract: Genres include fluff, family, adventure, drama, friendship, science fiction.

The story occurs in the identified universe of a huge variety of current or past live action shows produced for Nickelodeon channel, including, but not restricted to Zoey 101, Drake & Josh, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, Unfabulous, The iCarly Show, True Jackson VP, Victorious, Bigtime Rush, The Troop, Supah Ninjas, bs, House Of Anubis, and makes heavy use of a variety of members of their casts.

There are no hard prerequisites for reading this story that exceed the content of the Wikipedia pages of the most important Nickelodeon live action shows.

The timeline starts after the canonical end of Zoey 101, which postdates the end of the canons of Unfabulous, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, and Drake & Josh, and which coincides with the transition of season one and two The iCarly Show. Victorious is interpreted as a nightmare by Lola Marinez, although most of its characters are real and known to Lola for other reasons.

textbfSummary: Quinn Pensky researches the reasons for the dissimilarities of various monozygotic twin pairs, such as Samantha and Melanie (from The iCarly Show: iTwins) Puckett. In the process, she stumbles in to a huge variety of family secrets.

Pairings include:


Quinn Pensky / Shane Diamond (a guest character from The iCarly Show: iSaw Him First, with a surname chosen in agreement with same actor's character in Bigtime Rush)
Lola Martinez / Drake Parker

Acknowledgements

The story is written for LiveJournal-Community Tamingthemuse, prompt Discordance.


Contents


Chapter 1 Pilot
1.1 Quinn's Idea
1.2 Doctor Glazer
1.3 The Web Show
1.4 The Departure
Chapter 2 Pacific Basketball Championships
2.1 Outside Hotel Parker Nichols
2.2 In The Foyer
2.3 Groovy Smoothie
2.4 Report For Megan
2.5 Lola And Drake
2.6 Shane's Relatives
2.7 The Shay Family
2.8 Quinn's Plan
2.9 Baketball
2.10 Socking Socko
2.11 Shane's Comatosity
2.12 Mario and André
Chapter 3 Fall In Malibu
3.1 Back At PCA
3.2 Zoey's Career
3.3 Embarrassing Pictures
3.4 Salvia Martinez
3.5 Zoey's Madness
3.6 Surgeries In Seattle
3.7 Shelby Marx
3.8 Camille Roberts
3.9 Medical Records
3.10 True Jackson
3.11 Toplin Wheeler
3.12 Ryan's Twin Brother
3.13 Shelby At PCA
3.14 A New Start For Drake
3.15 Doctor Wheeler
3.16 Zoey's Breakdown
Chapter 4 Finale
4.1 Seattle
4.2 Science Fair
4.3 Conclusions

Chapter 1 Pilot


1.1 Quinn's Idea

The sun was setting in the gentle waves of the mighty Pacific, like a huge orange squeezing the very last drops of juice out of itself. This means the end of yet another day for the students at Pacific Coast Academy, which was the most elitary and snobbish boarding school of Los An geles county, located at Pepperdine Beach, almost right down by the seaside, and looking much more like a spa than like a school.

The new academic year was just a few days old, but the activities going on on the campus were quite remarkable, especially for the seniors who needed to care for the times after high school.

The dream of Quinn Pensky had used to be that of becoming a renowned scientist, even greater than her idol Albert Einstein, and she was working hard for it. Unfortunately she had not yet had any good luck at science fairs, for a variety of reasons that should not be rushed to be given right here. So, this year around, it was her last chance to make it up to there and secure herself not only a scholarship at one of the most elitary schools for natural sciences and engineering such as Caltech or MIT — she could have done so a year ago, but had had remorses leaving her friends behind — but also to get accepted into the leading American National Society For Sciences and Engineering and thus to have an influence on the major research projects for the next years. She had started working on her dream of absolute intellectual domination of mankind at elementary school[1:1] and she had already come up with a whole bunch of "quinnventions". Unfortunately, the side effects of those were hard to control.

In addition, Quinn had been falling apart from her path of absolute scientific truth during the last two years, especially because of her relationship with one Logan Reese, the spoilt son of Hollywood's most influential producer, Malcolm Reese.[1:2] Inspite of his grandfather, a veteran teacher at Californian Institute For Technology,[1:3] Logan hated everything scientific, and his main goals were screwing around with girls, but also becoming either an athlete or a supermodel. Logan had abused an extremely week moment of the nerd girl, an event occurring at best once in a blue moon, in order to abuse and seduce her mercilessly. They had been hiding their abominable relationship from their friends until junior prom, going as far as abusing fake prom partners in an attempt of fooling their friends. But the whole filthy affair had been incidentally uncovered during junior prom night, and only after that black event, the proverbally darkest night in the history of Pacific Coast Academy, there was a chance for Quinn to return to her true identity instead, and she was now slowly recovering. This was totally unlike Quinn's original plan, causing the geek girl to loose a few valuable months of her life, and she was now much more in a hurry than ever before.

And while thinking about a topic for her breakthrough in the American scientific scene, she stumbled into the lounge of the sophomore girls, meeting a certain Melanie Puckett from the same hometown, videlicet Seattle. Melanie had been starting here together with her monozygotic twin sister Samantha like three years ago, but the latter had been expelled pretty fast for her inappropriate deameanour after having been denounced by Quinn's room-mate Zoey Brooks.[1:4] Granted, the Puckett family was one of dubious renown, full of thugs, drug abusers, and even worse — a heritage that Samantha was apparently keen on sharing, albeit in a minor frame. Melanie, instead of sharing the same desoxyribonuclic structure, was, after all, nothing like her evil twin sister, and she had not made any troubles here at Pacific Coast Academy and was one of the most popular and sweet girls on the campus. This fact had made Quinn wonder already more than once, even more as she was kind of sort of the "family surgeon" of the Pucketts, at least on occasions.

In this moment, Quinn knew what her project for the National Science Fair would be: The discordance of monozygotic twins. And her main research object would be no other than Melanie and Samantha Puckett.

Fortunately, Quinn had regretted her misdeeds right after junior prom night.

Her fake prom date had been no other than Dustin Brooks, Zoey's little brother. Needless to say, Zoey had by absolutely no means been pleased when finding out, and she would not have hesitated getting the geek girl expelled for this evil deed, just as she had done to Samantha Puckett.

But Quinn knew that she would thenceforth have to be a lot more careful when dealing with her fellow pupils.

And one things was obvious: Zoey Brooks would by no means forgive Quinn to work together with one Samantha Puckett. Indeed, if the blond Mary Sue ever found out about the existing connections to the evil girl, Quinn's life and career would be ruined and never take off the ground.

For that reason, Quinn Pensky would have to do the research outside the campus of Pacific Coast Academy, and the place of her choice was Come On,[1:5] a cheap and dirty inn located in downtown Los Angeles. This was the place where Quinn was also performing lots of surgical operations on more or less wealthy guests. One of her regular costumers was no other than Pamela Puckett, the mother of Samantha and Melanie.

And it was up to Quinn collecting data about as many monozygotic couplets as only possible, for Sam and Melanie were not the only example worth studying, the more the merrier.

In any case, time was low.

Quinn started using her Splash Face account in order to look for volunteers. It was not clear to her what sorts of family drama she was going to stumble into.


1.2 Doctor Glazer

Quinn was sitting all alone at her desk at Brenner Hall, trying to sort the results of her previous tests concerning the genetic structure of Melanie Puckett for any possible damages.

Zoey Brooks, who had been her room mate of two years, was at Sushi Rox, a Japanese bar on the campus, in order to have a California roll, her favourite food.

Gloria Victoria Vega y Martinez, generally referred to as Lola, was away for shooting the first scenes for her new movie, The Greatest Kisser. She had been cast as the female star for this young adult comedy produced by Malcolm Reese.

Suddenly, rumours were heard from the hallway, and someone was knocling at the door to Quinn's dormitory room. She recognised the voice on the other site as that of Zoey's father. So she walked up to the door in order to open it and to tell him where his daughter was. She was a bit confused, though, as Zoey's parents were currently living in London in Great Britain, and it was totally weird that he would come over to Los Angeles without warning. Maybe Zoey had just forgotten to tell him, but that was not really likely.

The visitor scratched his had. "Which daughter? I have neither got a wife nor kids. You know, women are such a volatile thing, they always disappear somewhere else after half a year, with your prepaid credit card and the content of your fridge."

Quinn was now thoroughly puzzled. "Wait, you are not Mr. Brooks?"

The intruder introduced himself as Doctor Glazer[1:6] Brooks. "You have been talking about my monozygotic twin brother? he has got a wife and kids, and they are still here at Pacific Coast Academy."

Quinn gasped. "Oh, that is cool … I am doing some research about monozygotic twins." She smiled brightly. "Zoey has never told me that she had got a twin uncle … wait … is it correct to call a twin brother of your dad a twin uncle?" She scratched her head. Few people would have cared about those word creations, but she better got accustomed to the possibility, as her reasearch was probably going to involve dealing with relatives, closer or remote, of monozigotic couplets. She decided that the usage of the world "twin uncle" sounced too unscientific to be worthy of further consideration.

Glazer nodded solemnly. "I am more or less the black sheep of the family, I mean … who needs it, anyways?"

Quinn did not want to comment on the remark, which happened to be Glazer's opinion, but she noticed the stern contrast to Zoey's dad who did a lot for his family. Granted, he had pushed his kids into a boarding school, but this was just because he was trying hard to provide them with the best chances for their future.

This discordance was gold for Quinn's future research.

Glazer continued, "I am an old friend of Doctor Hollywood, and he is now going on vacation for a few says … weeks … months … who knows. I am taking over his patients, and also his staff and his research activities for that matter."

Doctor Hollywood was the hotel medic of nearby Palmwood Springs Inn, a hotel reserved for people working in the Hollywood business. His name was probably a fake, but this was no problem at all for Quinn Pensky. She had got a license as Doc Hollywood's deputy, which allowed her to perform surgeries, well, officially only as his assistant, but he used to sign everything, so this was not much of a restriction.

So summing it up, Glazer was not only going to be Quinn's boss, but also her research object.

The geek girl was looking for a syringe with a particularly long needle in order to tap some blood off the medic.

Unfortunately, Glazer could not see blood, and he passed out from the impact of the syringe.

Quinn better hid him somewhere where Lola was not going to find him, as the Hollywood diva was most likely to scream everyone on the campus awake, at any time a day. She breathed heavily, and then she opened the window and dumped the temporarily lifeless body of the medic in the shrubs in front of the dormitory hall. She sighed fro relief when the blood work was accomplished. This was only the start of a long activity. Quinn figured that many other episodes were to follow.

Megan Parker

Not many hours later, Quinn had already almost fallen asleep. But the return of Lola Martinez from her shooting scenes had caused her to wake up again.

Zoey was very much interested in listening to Lola's story about what had happened at Sunset Studio.[1:7]

Quinn yawned, but she decided to check her messages at Splash Face.

Lola was apparently very much excited. "Do you know who is gping to perform the theme of the movie?"

Zoey shook her head. "I do not know, but you are going to tell me, aren't you?"

Lola nodded vigorously. "I sure will … it is super hot Drake Parker, the greatest teenager rock star … ever! I have heard that he is a fantabulous kisser."

Zoey grinned. "Oh, Drake was great at his concert at Pacific Coast Academy."

Lola wondered, "what? There was a Drake concert at Pacific Coast Academy? And nobody told me? You must hate me! yeah, you probably want him all for yourself."

Zoey choked. "What? Hey, that had been four years ago, before you came to Pacific Coast Academy. I have designed his outfits necause we could not afford him regulalrly."[1:8]

Lola moaned, "I want him here again. Me and Drake and the paparazzi, I will be seen in TV, in the centre of the spotlights …" She purred.

Zoey growled, "but what will Vince say about this?"

Lola had already got a boyfriend named Vincemt Blake, the quarterback of the football team of Pacific Coast Academy, and this fact had already caused a lot of troubles, but this is a matter for later. Now as Zoey had reminded her of that fact, she looked a bit dizzy. But she insisted that she needed to do something more for her career as a future multiple Oscar winner. In addition, she edid not trust Zoey. "You just want Drake all for yourself, and that is why you made him his outfits. But why did you have to cheat on Chase, anyways?"

Zoey banged her head against the wall.

Bushy dweeb Chase Bartholomew Matthews was a former student at Pacific Coast Academy who had got a crush on Zoey Brooks for over three years until coming out with it. Now he was in London. He had appeared as a visitor at their junior prom, and there his dream had finally come true. Zoey and Chase had appeared to be happy forever. This would have caused Chase to return from London for good, but there had been more than one of those legendary swords of Damocles been hanging over their relationship.

Lola was insinuating to one of them: During Chase's absence, Zoey Brooks had lived in concubinacy with a tall blond rake named James Garrett. The Mary Sue had trashed James right before the junior prom in order to be able to stay finally with Chase.

But Lola's thought was flawed. Chase would certainly have forgiven that disgusting faux pas unto Zoey, had she talked to him honestly about that severe mistake, and expressed her thorough apologies for having been too weak. Chase had been so awfully obsessed with her to hold this for good against her.

Another dangling menace for Chase's and Zoey's relationship had been Lola's elder sister Trinidad Rebecca.[1:9] Lola and Quinn had once hired her as a fake girlfriend for Chase, with the sole purpos of provoking Zoey's jealousy. Although the busty drama queen had gone out of her way by even announcing death threats against Zoey, in the case of not staying away from Chase, the plan had failed miserably, and Zoey had kept on insisting in being "just friends" even after Chase had pretended to have trashed Rebecca in order to prove his unconditional loyalty to the blond Mary Sue.

Rebecca had required a high price for her services. She was convinced of her supreme talent as a future Broadway singer and dancer. And she expected Chase, a gifted playwright, to write her a one man musical in order to get ther career at Broadway started. She would over and over bother Chase with that request and make his life miserable until finally achieving her goal.

Zoey Brooks was not yet aware of Rebecca having just been a device in order to provoke jealousy, and she did even less know about the fact how closely Lola and Rebecca were related and familiar. Otherwise, this would have not only caused her to trash Chase, but also to stop any contact with Lola and Quinn who had instigated Chase.

And then there had been the third sword attached to the ceiling by means of a thin thread, and this one had been the proper cause for Chase's radical change of mind.

Over a year ago, Vince Blake, nowadays fiancé of Lola Martinez, had been the quarterback of the football team of Pacific Coast Academy. He had struggled with the necessary requirements for being allowed to skip curricular classes for the purpose of extra training sessions, and he used to cheat in order to meet them. One night, he had been caught and denounced by Chase Bartholomew Matthews, just before the most important football match in the history of Pacific Coast Academy. Vince and his pals had thereupon beaten up Chase and his friends Mark del Figgalo, Logan Reese, and Michael Barret, and thence been expelled from this illustrus boarding school.

But a few months ago, Vince had been allowed to return to Pacific Coast Academy. Chase had already been away. but he was expected to return one day. LOla, Zoey, Quinn, Michael, and Logan had started out being hostile to Vince, but they had changed their mind, one by one. Lola had started the whole treason by making out with Vince, and the other friends of Chase had followed thereupon.

Needless to say, Chase had been little pleased when returning from London and being finally in Zoey's arms, when he had noticed that all his friends were now on friendly terms. Disgusted by this unforgivable betrayal, Chase had dumped Zoey just two days after, deciding to stay in London until college.

This emphasises that Lola had done much more in order to destroy the relationship between Zoey and Chase than anyone else, and that during the course of three years. For the Mary Sue, it must have sounded totally sarcastic when the cute Latina accused her of having ruined her relationship with the bushy dork single handed.

Quinn was of course also guilty of having tricked Chase into making Zoey jealous, and even more of backstabbing Chase by starting to accept Vincent Blake as a friend after his return from exile. But she did not really care about the conversation of her room pals, as she was rigged and ready to checking some imoportant news. And there was a message from one Megan Parker from San Diego.


Hello, my name is Megan Parker. I am thirteen years old, and I live in San Diego.

A few months ago, I was referred to a web show running on iCarly dot com. It is cool, but what has shocked me a lot was the fact that the show host, one Carly Shay from San Diego, looks exactly like me.

As you are looking for couplets of monozygotic twin sisters, there is something you want to look into.

But I can't talk about this to my dumb brother Drake and our dweebish step brother Josh.

By the way … you do know me, but under a different name … Paige Howard,[1:10] the geek girl that had almost blown up the whole campus of Pacific Coast Academy with a hell machine.


Quinn gasped. Oh yeah, she remembered Paige Howard, whom she had deemed to be the inventor of some cosmic power converter. Paige had been announced as the winner of the national science fair, and she had come to Pacific Coast Academy in order to demonstrate her inventions. During Paige's visit, Quinn had started feeloing vastly inferior and stupid, rigged and ready to give up completely on her scientific career. But finally, Quinn had been needed in order to fix the invention in order to prevent it from blowing up, obliterating the whole campus in the process.

There must have been a dangerous plot behind it, but Quinn had not seen it so far. She knew now that Megan was a really dangerous person, but she needed her for her research ayways. Should Quinn have hoped that megan was also a scientist, she would have been thoroughly disappointed. Megan had operated as an agent of one Melinda Crenshaw, former Californian science fair winner, and she had been instructed via micro chip.

There is much more to say about Melinda Crenshaw, buty for Quinn, all that mattered was the fact that Mindy was a dangerous competitor. The girl from San Diego was not unlikely to copy Quinn's research, but then to improve and upgrade it essentially … and finally win the Nobel Prize for it.

Lola gasped when hearing the name Megan Parker . "Wait … parker … San Diego … is she related to Drake?" She was feeling totally excited. "Ask her for backstage passes for his next concert in Los Angeles!"

Zoey shook her head. "That had to be coming …"

Quinn sighed deeply. She composed a reply, but was way too tired for thinking about Lola's request. Now she also remembered having once stumbled upon iCarly dot com,[1:11] but she failed to remember details. Apparently, contacting Carly was essential for her research, but she needed to find a smart way for doing so.


1.3 The Web Show

Early next morning, ere rise of sun, Quinn checked the web site of Carly Shay, and it was not hard for her to discover the last web session as a video on demand. OK… at least superficially, Megan and Carly looked totally alike, but that did not make them necessarily monozygotic twins.

More shocking was the revelation of the co-moderator, it was no other than Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby.

And then there was a technical producer named Fredward Benson whom Quinn had fortunately never seen before, but that was probably due to the fact that technical produceres were usually acting behind the scenes.

Of course Quinn was interested in the technological aspects of the production of the web show, such as web cams, broad band, notebook, and so on. But she ad to concentrate on getting a sample of Carly's desoxyribonuclic acid in order to compare it to that of Megan Parker. Certainly, Samantha could have provided Quinn with some of it, but was the extremely bad girl to be trusted there?

In this episode, there was a guest named Shane Diamond. He was not only extremely smart, but also good looking.

Both Samantha and Carly appeared to hanker crazily after him like nobody's business.

Shane was performing some physical experiment that interested Quinn a lot, and she had immediately got some questions she needed to discuss most urgently with Shane, before Samantha and Carly were either killing him in their crossfire, or he would with one of them. She swooned slightly when rhapsodising over Shane.

Zoey and Quinn were now also awake, and they wondered what Quinn was doing with her lap top.

The geek girl grinned. "I need to go to Seattle for a few days … it is urgent!"

Zoey choked. "You have already once caused trouble because you needed to do so, for the sake of your camel Otis."[1:12]

Quinn sighed deeply. "Yeah, I know … leaving the campus without prior consent of the school's admin will get me suspended."

Lola had got an idea. "Hey, once in a year, we are allowed to follow one of the school's official team to an official competition as spectators, in order to give them moral support."

Zoey smiled, "yeah, Quinn, that sounds cool … but is there any bound for Seattle? Wait … me and my basketball team are!" She had been in the basket sqaud for four years. In the beginning, she had to challenge the boys in order to allow the girls to join them.

Logan had been strictly opposed to girls in boys' team.[1:13]

Zoey urged Quinn to sign up quickly. "Thre are only ywo free spots left in the list of fans."

Lola looked at the video which Quinn was watching repeatedly, spotting Shane. "I guess this will be interesting championships. I will also sign up. Go Stingrays!"

The ccrest of Pacific Coast Academy depicted a stingray.

Zoey was also spotting Shane, and she thought to herslef, "so, Lola can't get enough boys … but she will first have to get past me!"

Lola wondered, "oh, I will need some outfit in norder to look good in the viewers' ranks! Zoey? Please …" She fell on her knees in order to beg her room mate.

Zoey sighed deeply. Of course she figured that Lola was up to impressing Shane, whom the blond Mary Sue wanted desperately for herself. "Yeah, of course! I will make you some cool dress." But she was up to tricking her boy greedy room mate.

Lola cheered gleefully. "Oh, we will live in Quinn's family residence in uptown Seattle, right? It is so cool there. I love uptown Seattle." She had never been there, but her opinion was based on Quinn's video chats with her parents.

Zoey shook her head. "The rule we are appealing to states that the boarding is provided by the school's administration. So you will have to reside in some in, together with us basketball players and helpers."

Lola squealed for excitement. "Yeah, I love hotels, especially six stars with many visiting VIPs, such as Hotel Chambrolay.[1:14]"

Hotel Chambrolay was one of the most illustrious hotel chains throughout the United States Of America. There was a branch in nearby Santa Monica. During the last summer break, Zoey had worked as a beach guard at the branch located on Maui, one of the islands belonging to Hawaii. It had been a very despressing experience, as she had broken with Chase, after just a few hours of paradise on earth, only a few weeks before this. A few common days on the tropical issland should have been some sort of an early honeymoon trip for the two of them. And everything would have worked out well, if Chase had not taken offense from Zoey's friendship with Vincent Blake. By mentioning the name of the hotel, even if referring to a different btanch, Lola was unknowingly but effectively rubbing salt into Zoey's wounds.

Zoey was in a stinky mood because of being reminded to the stupid summer break, but she had to correct Lola there. "We can't afford a six star hotel for the squad and supporters!" She panted heavily. "Actually, we will be accomodated in some cheap downtown inn."

Quinn choked, because she was remonded to all the surgeries she was performing in aforementioned Come On Inn.

Zoey completed, "more precisely, it will be Hotel Parker Nichols."

Lola wondered whether that hotel was named for Drake Parker.

Zoey shook her head. "Parker is a fairly common family name. It is certainly one huge accident."

None of the girls knew that "Nichols" was the family name of Josh, aforementioned step brother of Drake and Megan.


1.4 The Departure

Quinn and Lola had been lucky to secure for themselves the l;ast free places in the signup list for the field trip to Seattle.

They had got their luggege for the journey rigged and ready.

Coach Keller, the trainer of the basketball team, was officially responsible for checking the list of participating students once more before the start of the trip. But he had been too lazy, or, rather, he was going to fetch one more sushi from the Japanese bar, but only for himself. Thus vice principal David Bender was in charge. He noticed that Lola's luggage was too huge. "Remember the limit for inland flights!"

Lola moaned. "But I need that much cosmetic makeup and one new fashionable dress for each day. We could run into VIPs and paparazzi every hour a day, and I have to be prepared."

Bender shrigged. "But you have to pay for any extra fees resulting from this."

Lola sighed. "Dern … Zoey, would you please lend me a few bucks … just in case? I will pay everything back once I have made my first Oscar."

Zoey panted heavily. "Yeah, OK …"

Quinn checked her Splash Face account via cellular phone for new messages. "I hope we have got wii fi up in the clouds. I have got a lot of messages to send during the trip."

Bender shrugged.

Quinn had to think about various replies from viewers of her account. Suddenly, everyone seemed to have a monozygotic sibling across the continent, or stuff like that.


Chapter 2 Pacific Basketball Championships


2.1 Outside Hotel Parker Nichols

The flight from Los Angeles to Seattle had been a bit tiresome, but noe the basketball squad of Pacific Coast Academy and its supperters had reacherd their destination in the downtown.

David Bender taught the kids to stand in a queue, two by two, in order to check in.

Quinn had studied the citymap, and she was surprised that Bushwell Plaza, the residence of Carly Shay, was just a few avenues away from this run down hotel.

The outside already reminded her strongly of Come On Inn. Now she would just have to beware the rats and the hobos who were standard at Come On in downtown Los Angeles. In this case, Hotel parker Nichols would offer itself perfectly as a place for Quinn to practise her business as a hobby surgeon during her life in Seattle.

Zoey was little pleased by the shabby outfit of the inn, and she would not be pleased beyond any limit by the inside, either.


2.2 In The Foyer

Mr. Bender was standing at the counter in the foyer of Parker Nichols Inn, ringing the bell.

A dweebish boy of twenty years with an excessively big head came along from some sort of back office. "Joshua Nichols. What may I do for you?"

The furniture in the lounge was apparently quite a bit run down, fitting perfectly to the outside.

Bender indentified himself, and he showed Nichols the confirmation of the inn reservation, along with the list of the partcipants of the trip, students and employees of Pacific Coast Academy.

Josh spotted Lola Martinez across the foyer. "Hey, haven't I already seen you on TV? In a commercial break within Opera Windfree Show? I love Opera."[2:1]

Lola grinned. "Yeah, that is me, Lola Martinez."

Nervously twitching Josh smiled. "That is great! Hey, may I get an autograph … and your cell number? Just in case of emergencies …"

Lola had already seen clumsier attempts of getting hit on. She was so tempted to bite the dweeb's ear bleeding until his screams made the whole inn break into smithereens. But then she had got a better idea. "Oh, but … sure!" She grabbed a ball pen lying on the counter and started writing the the digits onto Josh's right arm, making him cackle for glee. Then she returned to the queue.

Logan Reese, a member of the basketball squad, compalined, "Hurry up, I need to go to my room and watch my face in a mirror."

Josh sighed deeply. "Sorry. I run this inn together with my step brother Drake, but he is occupied with more important things … just as usual." He shrugged for despair.

Lola squealed, "Drake Parker? The rock idol?"

Josh ordered Lola to remain silent. "Don't talk about it!"

Zoey whispered into Lola's ear, "you really gave this dork your phone number? I mean … he's uncomely, and he is hankering after Opera Windfree …"

Lola giggled silently. "I gave him one number, but it is Stacey's …"

Zoey snickered gleefully. "Oh, wow, that was a perfect idea."

Lola smiled, boasting "I know, I am clever."

Stacey Dillsen from Swampscott in Massachusetts was the most unpopular girl among the seniors at Pacific Coast Academy. Popular kids, such as Lola Martinez, were carefully trying to avoid any unnecessary contact with her. On top of not being exactly a great beauty, she was distinguished by talking with a lispy voice, She was also obsessed with making sculptures of cotton swabs.

So, apparently, giving a boy her number was supposed to be the worst possible punishment to inflict on him.

Zoey wondered, "but why is a star like Drake running a dirty hotel here in downtown Seattle?"

Lola shrugged. "No idea, but I have to find him … so I know whom to complain to, just in the case of an emergency."

Zoey giggled. "Oh yeah, only in really urgent cases …"

Josh announced, "OK, these are your rooms … the boys are in room 01, the girls in room 202."

In other words, there were only two rooms for the whole gang from Pacific Coast Academy. This was totally disappointing for most of the kids, but not more of a shock then the hobos and rats would be.

Josh continued, :do you want to see one of my card tricks?" He shuffled a pack of cards, spreading them on the counter. "Joshini!"

Lola moaned, "lame! Even my grandaunt does that better,"

Quinn shrugged. "OK, I will pick the top bunk … or do we have to sleep in the bath tub?" She really wanted to start her research about Carly Shay. Even more, she wanted to see Shane Diamond as soon as possible, in any case before Lola or Zoey.

Michael Barret, one of the members of the basketball team, announced, "oh man, this is getting boring in here. I suggest we go and visit my elder cousin Terrence who hads recently started to run a smoothie bar here in downtown Seattle."

Lola smiled. "Hey, I am thirsty. Smoothie sounds cool! But I have to stay here and look for Drake Parker, in order to know whom to rely on in the case of emergencie, so … you may also purchase some smoothie for me. Oops … and you may lend me the money until we are back to Los Angeles?"

Zoey nodded solemnly. "OK, Michael, we will go there after having got rid of our heavy luggage."

Quinn was too busy to join them. But she rendered unto Zoey some envelope destined for Carly Shay. "I have heard that Carly and her friend love Groovy Smoothie. So you will deposit there my letter for Carly, won't you"

Zoey nodded solemnly. "If you say so …" But she was not reallyt happy about being used as a messenger girl, even less as a money lender. On the other hand, she imagined that Shane was also not unlikely to make it to Groovy Smoothie. This was going to be her great chance to strike faster than Quinn and Lola, securing the hot geek for herself.


2.3 Groovy Smoothie

Michael, Logan, and Zoey had just entered Groovy Snoothie. They had promised Mr. Bender to be back in time for a reunion.

Terrence was late in his twenties, and he preferred to go by the name "T-Bo". He looked more like a Jamaican freak with rasta braids and a ribbon around his head. "Michael! You've really made it? I haven't seen you in quite some time."

Michael grinned, and then he introduced his friends, one by one, unto Terrence.

Zoey looked at the menu. "Hey, they have even got Blix …"

Michael grinned. "This is the only place outside California selling Blix softdrinks."

T-Bo nodded. "Yeah, I recommend appleberrt smoothie. But before that, you should try my pickled cucumbers."

Zoey looked a bit flabbergasted. "Pickled cucumbers and smoothie?"

Terrence turned slighly grumpy. "Hey, I believe firmly in food and drinks being always a good match, no matter what."

Three kids walked in. It was not hard for any viewer of the web show to identify them as Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, and Fredward Benson.

Logan had always deemed web shows like Carly's as girls' only, and so he did not know them.

But Zoey recognised immediately her nemesis Trisha Kirby, even if she was living under a fake name: Samantha Puckett. She also recognised Carly die to her similaruty with Paige, as described by Quinn.

Within a few seconds, Zoey and Sam were at each other's throats.

Michael and Carly had to try hard in order to separate the belligerent girls.

T-Bo returned from the kichen with cucumbers stacked on a small rod. This was apparently his standard method of selling food here at Groovy Snoothy.

Zoey had calmed down. "So, you are Carly, right?"

The vute teenage girl nodded solemnly. "Yeah, you watch my show?"

Zoey shook her head. "Not much, but my brother is a total fan of it. May I get an autograph for him?"

Carly nodded. "Sure. What is his name? And how old is he?"

Zoey replied, "Thirteen … he is named Dustin." She showed the show host a photograph of her brother in order to sign its backside.

Samantha was a bitshocked, because she had once been dating Dustin, and she had wished never to hear about him again. "Dustin is just a lousy little bugger, totally boring."

Zoey was once more rigged and ready to go through the roof, forcing Michael to intervene again.

Having rebuked Carly for foulmouthing a fan of the show in the public, Carly sighed, because she had hoped for an older and hotter fan. But she gave Zoey an autograph for Dustin, anyways. Then she looked at Logan. "Aren't you the son of the famous Hollywood producer?"

Logan grinned proudly. "Oh yeah, I am the one and only Logan Reese!"

Carly still hoped on getting her web show produced as a TV show, one day. And now the greatest chance of her life was sitting right in front of her. "Oh, Logan, … what a nice name … there is no cuter name than Logan, don't you think so?"

Logan beamed proudly. "Indeed!"

Zoey sighed deeply, hoping that Carly would learn the soft way what a jerk and coxcomb Logan was, after all. And now she remembered the envelope she had received from Quinn. "Oh, one of my friends has got something for you … a secret message. You better read it at home instead of in the public. It is possibly — or so she guesses — a bit shocking for you."

Carly's eyes bugged out. "Oh … whatever!" She picked up the enveloped and tucked it safely away. "You seem to know interesting people."

Zoey nodded. "I am from Melanie's school, there are many interesting people."

Carly smiled. "That sounds great! I often miss Melanie."

Fredward Benson coughed. "Melanie? Who is Melanie?"

Samantha bellowed: "She is my twin sister, Frednerd!"

Fredward hated getting his name corrupted by Sam like this. "Don't even think about trying to fool me!" Not even Zoey's confirmation convinced Freddie. He simply refused to believe in Sam having a twin sister. He started talking about population statistics, but nobody wanted to listen.

Carly and hger friends were about to go again.

Now Zoey figured it was her chance to approach Shane. "Hey, what hppened to the cute physics freak that had been in your last show? Dustin needs siome help with a physics project."

Carly, Freddie, and Sam were gone too fast, making Zoey think that she had been a bit too late.

But T-Bo knew Shane. "Poor Shane … he has dropped through the empty elevator hole in the loft of Carly … thirty yards … now he is …"

Zoey looked consternated. "Terrence! Is Shane still alive?" She would have exploded for disappointment.

T-Bo sighed. "It is not sure whether he will survive the inner bleedings. But he is treated in nearby St. Schneider's Hospital. I don't think he has yet regined consciousness."

Zoey choked. "Oh no …" She was hell bent on visiting him in his hospital, although she would hardly be let through to him.


2.4 Report For Megan

Quinn Pensky was alone in the girls' inn room, after having scared some hobos and rats away with her portable laser pistols. Now it was time for her to not only go through some more messages stored in her box at Splash Face, but also to try to catch Megan Parker or at least to leave her a stored message.

Indeed the girl from San Diego was available in person.

Quinn was almost out of breath. "Hey Paige … er … Megan … I am here in Seattle, in a hotel named Parker Nichols Inn. And guess who manages the spelunc?"

Megan sighed deeply. "Drake and Josh? Now I may imagine how it looks like."

Quinn confirmed Megan's hunch. "It is totally run down, indeed."

Megan repeated once more that she had not known that her "boobs", as she called Drake and Josh, were dwelling in the metropole of Washington. "They have told me always that Drake was on tour."

Quinn shrugged. "Yeah … nice tour … and I guess stromgly that they know about Carly."

Megan moaned, "so … have they hidden my twin sister from me all the time? Does mom know?" She told Quinn thjat she needed to keep the research from her mom. "If Audrey Parker is my mother, indeed. I do not know what to believe ny more about my family."

Quinn nodded solemnly. Of course this was not possible for Megan to see, but she accompanied this with some appropriate noise.

In any case, Megan was now even more interested in not only finding out whether Carly was her monozygotic twin sister, but also whether Drake and other kinsmen of hers had been lying to her all the time.


2.5 Lola And Drake

Lola had just been following her instincts and some sweet sounds of a fender caster, when she stumbled into a backroom, spotting a wretched guy resembling vaguely Drake Parker. "Hi! I am Lola Martinez from Hollywood."

Drake gasped, and he tried to hide his fade behind some ragged pillow. "I am not here."

Lola grinned. "Hey, Drake, I know it is you."

The jerk finally decided to stand up. He was thoroughly embarrassed being found by some Hollywood girl in this stinky place. "OK, it's me, a former rock idol, and a total mess." He stomped his feet for utter despair.

Lola looked puzzled. "But … your song has been cast for the theme of a new movie I am starring in."

Drake sighed deeply, explaining: "An old song of mine, recorded over two years ago …"

Lola looked consternated. "You are not coming to Sunset Studio again for the shootings?" She looked bitterly disppointed. "But there are announces of your concerts everywhere …"

Drake moaned: "True … fake concerts … anuyone trying to buy a ticket is told that the concerts are already sold out. That's how Helen tries to upkeep my reputation."

Lola choked. "What? That is … but who is Helen, anyways?"

Drake explained that Helen Baxter was a former Holywood stalet. "She acted for Happy Times."[2:2]

Lola remembered that old sitcom, but no Helen Baxter acting in it.

Drake shrugged. "She had probably used a star's pseudonym. She was the daughter of the main couple."

Lola gasped. "Wow, she must have been a hell of an actress. I adored that girl. I always wanted to become like that actress."

Drake nodded solemnly. "We all did."

Lola wonderd, "but what happened to her? Has she ever been again on TV?"

Drake scratched his head. "Nothing big. But she made it into the cinema business. That's where my step brother job came to know her. He has worked at her Première Theater for several years. Now she wants to make it as a teacher for acting, singing, and dancing. There's a school for it in Hollywood."

Lola moaned. "Yeah, I know, it is called Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts. I would have loved to go there, but mom always told me to become a teacher for English and Spansih. These are safe jobs — so she says. But I truly hate teaching boring stuff." She choked for disgust.

Drake nodded solemnly. "I know how that feels. I have always hated school. worse than pestillence and famine." Then he talked more about Helen Baxter's influence on his career.

Helen's destiny made Lola ponder. The pretty teenage Latina had originally thought that a fast career was always the best possible one. But maybe this was not true, as Helen had stopped acting after high school. She definitely did not want to end up like her idol.

Lola asked, "so … how did you make it into this hole here?"

Drake moaned for disgust. "A long story … I messed up my first record contract with Spin City Records.[2:3] Josh has equally messed up his envisioned career as a teacher for science at elementary and middle schools. One of the other employees at Première Theater, a certain Crazy Steve, has got a twin brother hear in downtown Seattle. His name is Spencer, and he had easily become Josh's best friend … I still don't understand why. It must have to do with the fact that Josh had bribed him with hand knit fashionable socks."

Lola sighed. "I hate knittinmg … I have never really learned it."[2:4]

Drake nodded. It is so lame, especially boys who like knitting, such as Josh … I tell you …"

Lola agreed. "Josh is a hell of a disgusting dweeb. But the worst of them is Mark el Figgalo, from my boarding school. I have to vomuite each evening I happened to have crossed his way."

Drake looked around. "OK, and now the true reason for choosing Seattle … my sister Megan, so called, is really a relative of Crazy Steve. And she has got a twin sister, Carlotta. Josh and I have tried hard to find out more about her. Being friends with Spencer helps. But we have to stay away from her. Otherwise she would know that I am just a lousy loser, and not the big rock star that everyone connects with the name Drake … well, outside California, I am known as Drake Bell only, not as Parker. Otherwise fangirls would have stormed this inn ever since."

Lola smiled. "No word to anyone!" But she was sad because Drake had come down so much. "I guess you could do so much better and still be a rock star."

Drake shrugged. "Not before everyone here has forgotten about my debacle at Spin City."

Lola sighed. "Come on, you can do it. You are the best kisser and guitar player of California."

Drake was still too embarrassed to believe in Lola's words.

But the pretty Latina was by absolutely no means willing to give up on the run down rock star.


2.6 Shane's Relatives

Zoey Brooks had tried to call Shane in the hospital, but he had bee referred to his only relative in Seattle, one of his aunts from father's side.

The parents of Shane had divorced, sundering him apart from his brother James.

The aunt of Shane refused to let any girl see Shane. "Those two evil girls have almost killed him with there bet whom he would kiss first, or similar."

Zoey wondered about "those evil girls", who turned put to be Carlotta Shay and Samantha Puckett. Well, in the case of Samantha, that was totally expected, She always hit on boys out of her league. "Is it much of a miracle that she has tried to kill one of them when he decided to choose another girl?" But she was secure in the knowledge that Carlotta Shay was a nice girl, unable to murder people and rob banks.

Whatever the situation, the only one still able to allow Zoey to see Shane was the mother of Shane Diamond, and she lived with said James in the state of Minnesota.


2.7 The Shay Family

Carly Shay was now alone in her loft. Her actual family only included, besides — of course — herself, elder brotehr Spencer Shay. He was already twentu-severn years old and assigned as her legal guardian.

Her father, Colonel Steve Shay, was travelling the world and the seven seas for the US Air Force, currently as a commander of a yellow submarine.

Carly did not know much about her mother, and she refused to talk about the little she knew, or maybe just believed to know, even to Samantha or Fredward, and it was a big taboo between Spencer and Carly.

And now it was the moment in which Carly had just opened the letter from Quinn Pensky, a girl about whom she had never heard before, and started to overread it. She asked herself: "What? I have got a mono … mono … whatever that is … twin sister? Freddie! What is a monozygotic twin sister?"

Fredward Benson gave a formal biological definition of this sort of closest possible blood relationship. "Something that Samantha definitely does not have. Don't even try to fool me into believing in that Melanie, as there is no such thing."

Carly had not thought about Melanie, but about a girl from San Diego that claimed to be hers.

Quinn was still in town for three more days, waiting for Carly at certain times of the day in Parker Nichols Inn. But there was even more to the letter. Quinn also mentioned that said hotel was run by Joshuah Nichols and Drake Parker, official kinsmen of Carly's possible twin sister.

Carly knew that she needed to know more about it. For, if she was Megan's twin sister, she had either been abducted as a child, or Megan, or, in the worst case, both of them. And some people must have always lied to Carly. She was now hell bent on spying on going to Parker Nichols Inn in order to find out more.


2.8 Quinn's Plan

Zoey had just told Quinn about Shane's brute accident. "He must have been confused whenn he found out that he was just a horse in a bet between Carly and Samantha who were fighting over him, and so he had not noticed that there was no elevator in the hole. But, I tell you, Trisha alias Samantha had done this on purpose, because she had seen that Shane hwas morte attracted to Carly than to her."

Quinn gasped. She had come to Seattle in order to prevent this case, and she had apparently been too late. "What sort of comatosity is Shane suffering from?"

Zoey shrugged cluelessly. "Does it matter?"

Quinn nodded. "If I know the proper type, I will possibly be able to repair him." She smiled brightly.

Zoey choked. "What? You want to perform a surgen on a comatose patient? You have not even started with med school."

Quinn told Zoey to calm down. "I have got a deputy license to do so, signed by your uncle Glazer."

Zoey's eyes bugged out. "My uncle Glazer? You know him?"

Quinn nodded and mentioned that Glazer is substituting for Doctor Hollywood.

Zoey sighed deeply. "But you are just a deputy. You may watch and learn, but not do this on your own hand."

Quinn shrugged. "As long as Glazer signs it … nobody has to find out about it. I have already performed several cosmetic surgeries on some filthy old people that look now once more like thirty."

Zoey shook her head. But maybe Quinn's intervention was the only possibility to return Shane to a human life? Zoey was not able to pretend to love the guy she had hitherto only seen on the interweb if she was not willing to grant him the best possible treatment, and this happened to be Quinn Pensky.


2.9 Baketball

And now it was time for the basketball championships of the high schools in the pacific division.

Coach Keller preferred going to the next sushi bar over being there for his team.

Thus Zoey had to try to give the last instructions to her team.

The umpire was Martin Fukanaga, a police officer from Empire City, the part of New York City hosting the Empire State Building.

The opponent of Zoey's team were the "Bull Dogs" from nearby Ridgeway, the school of Fredward, Samantha, and Carly.

The matches were going to be very tough.

Unlike for football teams, there was not much cheerleading for the basketball squads. Only Miranda Franklin[2:5] and Vanessa Tayler[2:6] had come with them. This was the case because the sponsors of Pacific Coast Academy did not really care that much about basketball, while the football team was something to boast with.

Vanessa had once been dating Michael Barret, but the latter had been stolen from her by decadent pop idol Lisa Perkins, in a really decadent manner. Now she had joined the cheerio squad in order to use this occasion for gaining Michael back.

Of course, Lisa Perkins could have tried to join this trip to Seattle as well in order to be with Michael, but their relationship, which had always been a very superficially happy, but really awkward and perverted one due to too many incompatibilities and misunderstandings, was once again on the rocks.

Before junior prom, Michael Barret, the coward of the county, had been gifted an old stick switched car, and he had rtried to boast with it and take Lisa in it to the prom night, because he knew very well that she would otherwise have laughed about him just she had dome a few days ago when he had been too afraid to ride a rollercoaster. Michael had been only accustomed to automatically switched guys, thus it had been a big problem for him. Fortunately, elderly mystery man Takato, whom no otrher student had ever seen on the camous, and not even heard of, had taught him the skills of riding a stick switch car, in the typical style of all those Zen and … books. But Lisa Perkins was still not willing to believe Michael. She was also most thoroughly disgusted by his habit of playing all night long with clacker balls, and even more by his obsession with playing a transversal flute which mixed poorly with her diva voice. Indeed Lisa was only interested in keeping Michael as her cheap personal song composer, but she had never let anyone know about this. Only Chase Bartholomew Matthews had ever doubted her sincerity, but he was gone before being able to tell Michael, and now he was no longer willing to because the Afroamerican basketball wizard had backstabbed him in a really unforgivable manner by befriending Vincent Blake.

So, this was the biggest chance ever for Vanessa Tayler to strike back, and she was already rigged and ready for doing so.

The team of Ridgeway included a few very strong players, such as Gary Wolf,[2:7] who was coveted by both Carly Shay and Samantha Puckett, only a few days after the tragic accident that had crippled and knocked out Shane Diamond. And there was another team member that especially Samatha Puckett was lusting for like a horny creep, and this was captain Pete Peirson.[2:8]

Zoey Brooks was consternated by the fact how fast Carly and Sam had found new crushes. She figured easily that it was all Sam's fault, whose influence on Carly was extremely bad — at least so concluded the blond Mary Sue. Even more, she figured that Gary Wolf and Pete Pearson were doubtlessly going to end up in a similar manner when sucked into the tentacles of Trisha alias Samantha. She was preparing for fighting this looming possibility.

Pete Peirson was impossible to stop, and he was yelled ahead by fanatical cheerleader girl Natasha Misa.[2:9]

Strangely, Tasha's looks were familiar to Quinn, they reminded her of one particular Pacific Coast Academy student, a certain Maria Hughes.[2:10] Was there yet another couplet of unlike monozygotic twins — or so wondered the geek queen — behind the scenes?

The final wbell rang, and the team of Pacific Coast Academy had been able to maintain a paper thing advantage over Ridgeway. But the next match against James K. Polk from Sanata Clarita was supposed to be a trifle tougher.

Nevertheless, Zoey Brooks felt obliged to save the aforementioned potential futire victims of Samantha Puckett's obsession with violence and perversity from her already forwatd lunging claws. "Hey, Pete, you have played great, anyways. It hurts a bit having beaten you and your team, but we just did our duty." She shrugged carelessly. "Maybe there's something to make up for this?"

Pete sighed. "Thanks! Well, how about a date at Galini's cake shop? The best cream pies in Seattle."

Zoey smiled. "Sure, why not? Tomorrow at nine o' clock in the morning? I you can pick me from Parker Nichols Inn …"

Pete smiled. "That will be a pleasure for me! Oh, my number, so you may check if I should be too late …"

Zoey also gave Pete her own cellular phone number.


2.10 Socking Socko

The basketball matches of the day were over, but there was still one day left.

Carly Shay had snuch into the foyer of Parker Nichols Inn in order to study this spelunc.

Josh Nichols was standing at the counter, and he looked consternated. "Megan? What are you doing here?" He twitched like a complete idiot.

Carly grunted, "hey, I am Carly, the sister of Spencer! He is occasionally working here in some way, although he has not got a steady job anywahere, so he just wastes his time somehow." She had heard sinister rumours about this hotel. "And now answer me, who , pray tell, is Megan, and why does she look like me?"

Josh twitched even more.

Carly growled, "I know that you are Socko, and you will pay for making me paradrop over Japan!"

A few weeks ago, the team of the web show had been invited to Tokyo for an international award for web shows. Unfortunately, they had been granted only three premium class tickets for the web cast, but denied two tickets for responsible adults, viz. Spencer Shay and Fredward's mother Marissa. For that reason, the whole team had to look for a cheaper transport. Spencer had contacted his friend "Socko", whom Carly had not yet come to see. And that pseudonymous friend had organised a trip for the five of them in a freight plane destined for Seoul in Southern Corea. There was no scheduled stop in Japan, so the kids and their two responsible adults had to jump off the flying trash bin, using parachutes for their safety. This had been one horrible experience for all of them.

Carly did not want to talk about their way back from Japan which had been even more horrible. In any case, it was hard for Carly to forgive Joshuah alias Socko, and now she was ready to cover him with a salvo of hard insults that were too much for most of the bypassing guests and visitors of the hotel to bear. "And you can be lucky that Sam is not here, she would beat you up with one of your socks, filled with a pound of butter."

"The butter sock? No, not the butter sock .." Twitching worse than ever before, Josh keeled over on site and slumped to the floor like a sack of bacon,, unable to keep on working.

Now Carly was totally consternated. "Oh my goodness! I have not wanted this! Hello? Is there no medic?"

Quinn Pensky stumbled in. "Oh, carly, it's you … wait, let me see what we can do to this bigheaded mess!" She bowed over the lifeless body of the bigheaded dweeb. Then she produced her stethoscope, examining his heartbeat. "OK, he is still alive, but he needs some rest … where is Drake when we need him?"

Drake Parker was making out with Lola Martinez in the bak room when he got finally distracted by thr rumours comining drifting through the door. Then he opened it on order to look for the source of the mayhem.

Lola shrugged. "OK, we may resume this any time …"

Drake smiled. But then he saw the wretched body of his step brother lying on the floor. "Is he …"

Quinn chuckled. "Not quite dead, but he needs some rest."

Filled with disgust, Drake dragged the twitching mess into the back room. "Sorry, Lola, we have to look for another place. This one is needed for reanimation attempts."

The pretty Latina sighed deeply. "I won't revive him from mouth to mouth." She almost felt like puking.

Drake smiled. "No problem. Others will take care of this."

Carly saw Drake. "You are … Drake Bell .. or Parker … I am confused."

Drake smiled. "The one and only …"

Carly grinned. "Oh, may I have an autograph for my best friend, Sam Puckett? She has got a live sized poster of you in her locker room." On the other hand, she had got a really hard time remembering the great idol.

Drake sighed deeply. "I fear she would not remember me, given the wretch that I've become during the last year." z Carly nodded sadly. "Too true." And the theoretical possibility that Drake was her brother made her even more sad and aghast. She did not want to be related to a run down superstar, and she had to think about something, like … using her web show in order to push his idea. "So, I look like your sister Megan … does that make us relatives?"

Quinn intervened. "Oh, there is an easy way to find out. Josh is now out of danger … possibly … well, just keep him cool and dry, and avoid direct submission to sun light … and once exceeding his expiration date, you have to dispose with him in the appropriate manner, I will send you via mail during the next days!"

Carly shuddered for disgust in anticipation of all the genetic tests that Quinn was up to performing on her.

Quinn promised, "it will not hurt … not too much … maybe …"

Carly moaned, "Let's just bring it on …"

Drake panted heavily. "OK …"

Quinn grinned, and she produced a syringe with a long needle. "Or I may use your toe nails. Do you know that I have got a sixth toe on mty right foot? I keep its nails in a framed vitrine."[2:11]

Drake felt thoroughly disgusted, but then he decised in favour of the toe nails.

Quinn picked her left shoe, opened a secret hideout in the souls,[2:12] and produced a pair of surgical scissors in order to cut off some of the toe nails. She was very careful in order to avoid messing anything up.


2.11 Shane's Comatosity

With the permission of Shane Diamond's mother and his brother, Quinn Pensky had actually been able to sneak into his hospital room. She sighed deeply when seeing the poor guy, wrapped in bandages and stripped of his consciousness.

The official doctors here at St. Schneider's have apparently given up on him.

But Quinn was not easily convinced, because she was curious and unconventional, unlike all the degenerate medical school graduates. She knew that there was a way to reanimate Shane appropriately, but she needed to repair some of his damaged cells, using those of a close relative if available in order to speed up the process. And she would not come to a rest ere she had restored Shane's vitality to its fullest.


2.12 Mario and André

Zoey had followed her new crush, Pete Peirson, to his favourite bakery run by a certain Gallini.

This baker was already very old and likely to bite the dust any day.

For that reason, his assistant Mario[2:13] was in charge with serving the guests, including Pete and Zoey.

Pete ordered his usual cream pie.

But Zoey just wanted a fruit cake without cream or so. "Apples are my favourites."

Mario nodded solemnly. "Torta di mele, senza panna."

Zoey smiled, but, while actually seeing Mario's face, she was a bit consternated. Alas, she tried her best in order to hide her surprise from Pete, let alone the staff and the other guests of the baker's shop.

Mario looked actually somewhat familiar to the blond Mary Sue. After pondering for a few seconds, she remembered the reason why. Mario looked exactly like one André Chaumont.[2:14]

André was the headmaster of a boarding school in France. Along with his wife Monique, he had visited the campus of Pacific Coast Academy in order to learn about the American way of running a boarding school.

But Zoey had indeed seen André even before, albeit just on a picture on the web site of said French boarding school. She had chosen this particular academy for her bully room mate Dana Cruz in order to get rid of her.[2:15] The unruly tomboy had once been rude to Zoey's sick brother Dustin,[2:16] and the blond Mary Sue could not allow Dana to get away with this evil deed.

Zoey had never let anyone know about her connection with the Chaumonts, as she did not want to make her "friends" know that she had been the one to get Dana deported to Paris.

Pete noticed that something was wrong with Zoey, but he did not get her to talk about it.

Zoey did not know whether Mario was related to André Chaumont, or, in the worst case, even the same person, and she preferred to keep it a secret for good. Now she needed to warn Pete about Samantha.

The rake had got problems understanding Zoey's warnings. "OK, she may seem rude, but I may not imagine that she is a bad girl."

Alas, Zoey's story about Trisha Kirby's alias Samantha Puckett's inappropriate demeanour made him reconsider.

But now it was time to say good bye to Seattle.


Chapter 3 Fall In Malibu


3.1 Back At PCA

The kids had just exited the bus that had taken them from Los Angeles Airport to the student drop of Pacific Coast Academy.

Unfortunately, the basketball team had not been as vistorious as they had hoped to be.

Especially the squad of James K. Polk had socked them badly, especially due to dumb blond rake Seth Powers and Mike Grudzielanek.

The students expectimg them back home were thus forced to comfort them instead of cheering for their victory, which they had prepared.

This caused a bit of chaos on the campus.

Dustin Brooks was the first to receive his elder sister. "Sorry that you did not make it."

Zoey nodded sadly. "Yeah, it's … too bad," But she less bothered by her team's landslide defeat against James K. Polk than by a few other things she had encountered in Seattle. She was by no means ready to talk about any of these to Dustin, especially not about the encounter with Mario the pie maker. At least she had obtained an autograph of Carly, and she rendered it straight unto her little brother. "You will like this."

Dustin's eyes bugged out. "Carly has really signed this? Woah!" He was all stoked and started bouncing up and down the campus.

Zoey smiled a bit, although she had got little reason for doing so. Followed by Lola and Quinn, she was ready to drag her belongings to their common dormitory room.

Michael Barret was still most consternated, but who was not there in order to comfort him? Right, his falsely so-called girlfriend Lisa Perkins. He stomped his feet nervously.

Logan had to drag him along.

Coach Keller did not care about anything else but getting as fast as possible to Sushi Rox, in order to stuff a California roll down his jaw.


3.2 Zoey's Career

Zoey Brooks was still not sure about what to do after graduating from Pacific Coast Academy.

Mom and dad would have preferred her to become a lawyer or a business manager.

But Zoey's true passion was the design and tailoring of fashionable outfits, as already seen in the case of her design of the shirts of Drake's band back four years ago. Unfortunately, by pursuing her own dreams, Zoey would have disappointed her parents as badly as can be. This did not make her decision any easier.

There had been a few parcels and letters awaiting her. They had been stored in the school's post office during her absence. One of them was from Mad Style, a very prestigeous fashion label residing in New York City.

Zoey wondered why anyone would write them, as she had not been that famous. She opened the letter with Quinn's multi purpose instrument. Then she started reading, and it was sent by Vice President T. Jackson of Mad Style.

This was really True Jackson, a teenage girl in the office of a vice president at Mad Style. But Zoey imagined the author of the epistle as a age of at least fourty years or so.

"Mr. Jackson" thanked Zoey for having sent Mad Style a sample of her previous designs.

Zoey scratched her chin, as she had never written anything to Mad Style, especially not including her designs. After reading a few more lines, it was clear that only one person at Pacific Coast Academy knew enouh about Zoey to write such a resume. The blond Mary Sue thundered, "Dustin!"

Lola and Quinn looked consternated, as Zoey's little brother was not in their room or outside.

Zoey walked away in order to look for Dustin and talk some sense into him.

Quinn and Lola snuck to the letter, and they kept on reading.

Mad Style was actually inviting Zoey for an interview, as they were totally pleased by her wonderful pieces of fashion.

Her room mates cheered for this, as a great offer was in sight.


3.3 Embarrassing Pictures

Ashley Blake was a class mate of Dustin Brooks, and a little sister of Vincent. She was most importantly a young Hollywood diva, having beaten all hitherto beknownst records for actresses of her age.

When Vince had been expelled, his sister had started plotting against Chase Matthews whom she deemed guilty of having backstabbed him. Her intention had been that of making him pay dearly for his vile treason. Ashley had taught Vince to appear nice to the staff at Pacific Coast Academy and to his fellow pupils, allowing him to get readmitted to this illustrious school. Then she told him to seduce one of Chase's female friends, and then, one by one, stealing all of his friends.

And, as we all know, the plan had worked just fine. Lola Martinez had been the first to fall, followed by Zoey, Quinn, Logan, and Michael. And when Chase had returned from London for their junior prom, he had seen how much kids he had used to be his friends had switched side.

Lola and Vince were still a couple, allthough their happiness was totally superficial.

As much as Lola had served well as a tool in order to punish Chase, Ashley was now not content with the status quo, as Lola was a dangerous competitor at Hollywood. Formally, she had always welcomed Lola into the family, but she was looking for ways to show that Lola was not worthy of Vince.

And now there was one big occasion for this.

Ashley had been looking for pictures of Lola on the interweb, and there she saw a really recent one on Nevelocity dot com. It showed Lola Martinez and Drake Parker making out in the foyer of Parker Nichols Inn.

This sounded like the proof for Lola's adultery that would serve Ashley in order to show Vince that he was better off without her.

Ashley shook her head when she saw Drake in such a run down inn and a shabby outfit. She would not have recognised the star, and she wondered whether anyone would believe it. But she knew that Lola would not make out with some arbitrary hobo, except for the camera. Thus, afdter looking thrice, she noticed the facial traits that identified the guy kissed by Lola as no other than Drake Parker.


3.4 Salvia Martinez

Lola was sitting peacefully in her dormitory room, listening to some cool music.

Vince was knocking at the door, asking Lola to open for him.

Lola disposed with her pearpod and opened for her loverboy.

Vince walked in, but he hesitated no moment talking about the picture on that interweb site. "Is that you on the picture?"

Of course Lola recognised herself and the scene she had been caught redhanded in. But she was able to lie. "No, I would not cheat on you! This is my mono … mono … monotheist twin sister, Salvia.

Vince gasped. "OH, you have got a twin sister? You never told me?"

Lola smiled. "Of course not. That is because … Salvia is not living with me and my parents, and I never see her."

Vince shrugged. "OK. I am glad that Ashley was wrong." He sighed for relief. "I have to tell her to be more careful next time before accusing you of adultery."

Lola nodded vigorously. "You better do! Let's go to Sushi Rox for some spicy tuna?"

Vincent smiled."Of course! But I would really like to see your twin sister … some day. Otherwise, Ashley will never believe it. She is very … uhm … well, you already know how she is. But she is my little sister, and I love her anyways. And you have to admit that it must sound really suspicious … you have been in Seattle at the same time …"

Lola shrugged. "I think we can arrange a family meeting." She grinned triumphantly. "Oh, I am a biy low on money, after I have spent 300 bucks for cosmetic articles in Seattle's shopping mall. May you lend me some for Sushi Rox?"

Vince nodded. "But of course, my lady!"


3.5 Zoey's Madness

Zoey had rebuked Dustin for doing the whole thing with Mad Style behind her back. But this had not prevented her from accepting the offer of an interview. She just wondered whethere she was supposed to fly to New York for that purpose.

Fortunately, this was not really necessary, as Vice President Jackosn and "his" secretary Lauren Peckinpaw[3:1] were coming to Los Angeles in order to visite some of the most important business partners of Mad Style at Hollywood.

Zoey's mind was still tortured because of her encounter with Mario at Galini's bakery in the downtown of Seattle, and she had now got frequent nightmares about it, horrible dreams in which Dana Cruz was out for Zoey's blood because of her deportation to France. It was not obvious for the blond Mary Sue how long she was still able to bear this tension until breaking down.


3.6 Surgeries In Seattle

Quinn Pensky used to perform all of her surgeries on people that were not part of Pacific Coast Academy in aforementioned Come On Inn in the downtown of Los Angeles, but in the case of Shane this was not possible, as he was still in a comatose state and stuck in the room for hopeless cases of St. Schneider's hospital in Seattle.

This required a trip to Seattle. Mrs. Pamela Puckett, the mother of Samantha and Melanie, was also in desperate need of some eye lasering,[3:2] and Quinn hoped to combine those two interventiones in one excursion.

And now she had received a mail from James Diamond, the brother of Shane, admitting that the two of them were not just brothers, but even monozygotic twins. This made Quinn's eyes bug out, as it would not only make it much easier to breew the required elixir for reanimating Shane, it was also useful for her research project.

And time was really pressing here.

But of course there was no way Quinn would ge granted a pass for a few days of absence from Pacific Coast Academy by Dean Rivers, just in order to make it to Seattle and perform a few surgical interventions. And Quinn had already taken her full quota for joining an official school team as a spectator, so even if there was some other athletic event of interest in Seattle, she would not have been eligible for a pass.


3.7 Shelby Marx

Lola was alone in her dormitory room, as Quinn was talking to Maria Hughes about her potential twin sister Natasha Misa, and to Melanie about the plans concerning the impending eye lasering of Pamela Puckett. She used her mobile phone in order to call a relative. "Hello Salvia … this is Lola."

The girl of the other end insisted in being called "Shelby Marx".[3:3] Salvia was really disgusted by her Latina heritage, and thus she was now using a different name that did not sound Spanish. She even denied her father in the public, calling him just "Coach Juan".[3:4] Salvia was a mixed martial artist, and she had just started her official professional career at her eighteenth birthday.

Lola growled, "OK, Shelby, I need your help. I have been caught by some spy kissing Drake Parker in a hotel lounge in Seattle, and now the picture is on the interweb. Vince has seen it. I try to make him believe that it was you and Drake. But he won't believe this for much longer unless he sees that I have got a monochromic twin sister." She knew that it would be very hard to convince her sister.

Shelby moaned. "You suppose me me to do what?"

Lola coughed and stammered. "You are my sister. You need to help me."

Shelby continued, "you expect me to help you deceive your boyfriend? I am not sure you are serious. I mean … you are an actress, you have already fooled other people."

Lola panted heavily. "Oh, and according to whose idea am I supposed to feign being you in some animal wellfare and third world support events? Just in order to avoid that your popular opponents don't get accidentally scratched and bruised by your kicks during those fake martial matches?"

Shelby went pale, which, for better or worse, Lola was not able to see.

But the pretty actress sensed the remorses of her sister responsible for the sudden silence. "I will tell Jessica Warner[3:5] about this substitution."

Shelby cried with a weeping voice, "no, don't do that!"

Lola grinned. "I won't … if you admit unto Vince that it was you on the picture with Drake Parker."

Shelby was unable to avoid giving in. "OK, Lola, you have won. but, one day, I tell you, one day …"

Lola grinned sadistically.


3.8 Camille Roberts

Quinn was half the way done evaluating the data from over twenty pairs of monozygotic twins, figuring that there were a few reasons indeed for the apparent discordances, such as exposure to weird cosmic radiation. She had been able to reproduce this effect in rats and other small mammals.

The case of Shane and James Diamond was particularly interesting. Shane was a geek, whereas James was a coxcomb.

But Quinn was unable to analyse this case until she knew Shane conscious and safe again.

And she had not found a way to sneak out in order to perform the necessary medical treatment of Shane Diamond.

Alone in 101 Brenner Hall, Quinn was already about to go insane when some voices were heard in the hallway. She stood up in order to look for the troublemaker that seemed to insult all the other students in the corridors.

A girl vaguely in Quinn's likeness marched in through the somewhat open door. "Hello! You are Quinn Pensky?"

Quinn was shocked by the similarity, and she let the other girl walk in. Then she sat down at her desk. "So … you are … and what do you want?"

The intruder explained, "my name is Camille Roberts. I am a fledgling actress … not very successful though." She sighed deeply. "I do not know what I am doing wrong, but I get always rejected … especially your school mate Lola Martinez beats me all the time."

Quinn shrugged. "Yeah? Maybe be a bit nicer to the directors and the producers, let alone your fellow actors?" She panted. "Lola is not just my school mate, we share this dormitory room, so you better refrain from badmouthing her!"

Camille continued, "OK … well … I am here because at my last audition for a rôle in amovie, Ashley Blake dared to say that we look alike."

Quinn sighed. "Ashley is a pain in the guts, but she was not apparently wrong. Wait … do you think that we are related?"

Camille shrugged. "I have heard that you can test it, and you are an expert for twins … what are they called? Something with mono …" She panted. "In turn, you have to use your connections to the family of Malcolm Reese in order to get me the female main rôle in his next teenage drama."

Quinn continued, "monozygotic … yeah, that would be great. I am studying the question about the discordances of monozygotic twins. OK, I need some DNA sample of you in order to perform the test. How about a toe nail?" In addition, she sensed troubles because Lola had already claimed to want the same rôle. This was calling for trouble.

Camille nodded solemnly. "OK, I already thought that a syringe with a long needle would have to be involved." She placed her right foot onto the table, removed the high heeled shoe and a stocking.

Quinn was disappointed. "Only five toes on your right foot?"

Camille did not understand why this was anywhere near wrong.

Quinn admitted to having got a sixth toe on her right foot. "But maybe this is a discordance that is really worth being studied …"

Camille shrugged.

In this moment, Quinn took a pair of scissors, ready to pinch off some piece of camille's currently longest toe nail. "It won't hurt."

Camille screamed like a fury. "Sorry, that was just acting!"

Quinn shook her head, and she was finally done. Now she used her DNA analyser in order to compare Camille's desoxyribonuclic acid with her own. This would take a few minutes in order to get done right. Then she had got an idea. "I know a cool rôle for you to practise for a great Hollywood rôle."

Camille looked aghast. "Oh, and that would be?"

Quinn explained, "well … let me see … you would have to act as a nerdy teenage girl."

Camille choked, "you mean … I would have to act like you?"

Quinn grinned with excessive mischief. "Wow, that was probably not so hard to guess, was it?"

Camille stomped her feet.

Quinn explained that she needed to take a trip to Seattle in order to perform a few surgeries. "And I can't get a pass, so you need to sub for me here at school."

Camille sighed deeply. "That is a really demanding task … I don't know whether I can handle it. But I better try to, otherwise I'd be such a miserable actress … OK! And when I am done, Malcolm will grant me a real rôle?"

Quinn nodded. "You just need to convince my ex-boyfriend, Logan Reese."

Camille shrugged. "Convincing boys is totally easy, no matter whom or what." A deal was thus struck.

Quinn was still warried because of Camille's nornal right foot. So she took her quinnoculars, a set of five bundled telescopes,[3:6], and pointed then at Camille's foot. After a few seconds, she gasped. "Have you ever had a foot surgery?"

Camille did not remember any.

But Quinn refused to give up. "Maybe you have just been too small to remember. Your foot bones show traces of some bad injury or mutilation."

This, of course, made it plausible that she had once upon a time got a sixth toe, but it had been removed in an accident or some more deliberate surgery.

The result of the genetic analysis was now available, and it confirmed Quinn and Camille as monozygotic twins.

And of course some explanation was due how they had been separated in the first place..

Before being able to take over for Quinn, Camille needed to know whether the secret of her sixth toe was well known.

Quinn nodded solemnly.

And this meant that either Camille needed to hide her toes from everyone on the campus, or she needed a fake sixth toe.

Fortunately, Quinn was a great plastic surgeon, and thus they opted for the second possibility.


3.9 Medical Records

Doctor Glazer had recovered pretty fast from Quinn's syringe.

Quinn had already found some reasons for him to be so different from his monozygotic twin brother, the dad of Zoey and Dustin.

But now he had to help Quinn's research in some other way. He had actually been able to check the medical records of Camille Roberts, identifying a foot surgery of the drama queen at the age of one year, before she had learned walking. This explained why the victim had not really remembered anything. She had been accustomed to walking with her mutilated foot from the early get on. And it was not uncommon to remove extraneous limbs of babies.

The medic responsible for that surgery had been one Doctor Wheeler.[3:7] The name told Quinn something, it was probably the most popular dentist in San Diego.

Glazer knew a family of the name Wheeler in San Diego, but not enough details about them. "Megan Parker can tell you more, I guess."


3.10 True Jackson

Zoey Brooks was appointed with the Vice President of Mad Style right in Sushi Rox. She was sitting at one of the tables when she saw three teenagers walking in that seemed to be not of this world, er, not students of Pacific Coast Academy. They were looking around helplessly.

Unfortunately, they were followed by Wayne Gilbert, the nerd whom Zoey Brooks hated most. "OK, Lulu, there is Zoey's table!"

Lulu, a girl of polynesian origin, sighed deeply, and she directed Afroamerican Tru and a certain Ryan Laserbeam, if that was really a name, into the direction of Zoey.

True introduced herself as True Jackson, Vice President of Mad Style. She also talked about her friends Lulu and Ryan.

Zoey was consternated. "You are T. Jackson, Vice president of Mad Style?" She stammered, admitting that she had expected an old farter of at least forty years.

True sighed. "sorry to disappoint you!"

Ryan wondered, "may I check the half pipe on the campus?"

True nodded solemnly. "And Lulu, you better follow him with a cozy pillow, just in case."

Ryan boasted with his mad skating skills, just like "The Turk".[3:8]

Lulu grinned and followed him. "Where do I get a pillow from?"

Zoey told her, "from Wayne Gilbert's dormitory room!" She shuddered for excruciating disgust.

Later, it would turn out that Wayne was a second cousin of Lulu.

Zoey and True started talking about Mad Style. It was obvious that the two young fashion stylers were getting along as nicely as can be.


3.11 Toplin Wheeler

Quinn had figured that Doctor Wheeler had got a brother in San Diego, indeed.

Megan Parker was asked by Quinn via mobile phone about the Wheelers of San Diego. "Yes, you are right, There was a boy named Toplin Wheeler[3:9] who kept on hitting on me in a decadent manner over the course of a few months." She panted scarily. "Honestly, Toplin looks exactly like Fredward Benson, the creepy tech producer from Carly's show. And I had hoped that you found out more about this, as a twin researcher."

Quinn shrugged. "Oh, things are getting crazy … you mean something like Fredward and Toplin are monozygotic twin brothers? That sounds interesting, especially as Doctor Wheeler has always been Fredward Benson's dentist." After all, there was so much more left for Quinn to do in Seattle than just to cure Shane Diamond.


3.12 Ryan's Twin Brother

Ryan and Lulu stumbled into Quinn Pensky's dormitory room.

Lulul asked, "so … you are Quinn Pensky? My second cousin Wayne has sent me. You are supposed to have got a soft pillow. Ryan needs one for his skateboard practice … he is a bit accident prone."

Ryan tried to protest against this statement, but not exactly successfully.

Quinn gasped. "You are … Ryan Laserbeam? Nor Kirby Bancroft Chadworthy?"

Ryan scratched his head. "I do not think so … what do you think, Lulu?"

The smart Polynesian beauty replied, "oh, I am sure that Ryan knows his own name."

Quinn sighed. "Sorry, you look so much like my most dangerous rival for this year's national science fair." She hit the keys of her laptop at the speed of light. "Here it is … Kirby Bancroft Chadworthy from Tulsa, Oklahoma …"

Ryan looked carefully at the pictures of the web site of his lookalike. "Dern straight! We so look like twins."

Quinn grinned. "Cool! I am performing some research about the discordances of monozygotic twins."

"Mono what?" Ryan shrugged helplessly.

Quinn grinned. "See? Kirby would understand me, while you don't!"

Ryan growled, "but I bet that Kirby can't do this …" He performed a backflip on his skateboard. Unfortunately, he slipped, but he landed softly on some bean bag.

Quinn asked, "I could prove that, but I need some of your desoxyribonuclic acid."

Ryan wondered, "deso what? I don't know whether I have got any of that."

Quinn produced a syringe with a long needle.

Lulu grinned. "Yeah, Ryan has got a lot of it … whatever it is … wait, it has to do with genetic information, right?"

Ryan tried to flee, but he failed miserably.

Lulu smiled, happy for not having got a monozygotic twin sister. But she did not know that she was so thoroughly mistaken.


3.13 Shelby At PCA

Lola's unlike twin sister entered the campus. Unlike the lazy diva, Shelby was very athletic and active. She loved jogging up and down the campus. "Hi, sis!"

Lola sighed for relief, for she was now able to make Vince believe that it had been someone else on the pictures found on Nevelocity.

The sisters met at the campus fountain, and they attracted a lot of attention of the mass of students when standing next to each other.

Lola picked her mobile telephone in order to call her loverboy Vince. "Hi love, my twin sister is here!"

Vinceny's voice was even audible for Shelby. "Lolalove, I am a bit late. My football training is not yet over."

Shelby wondered. "let's jog to the gym and meet him there?"

Lola shook her head. "I can't afford sweating too much, because I need to stay pretty for the next auditions."

Shelby sighed deeply. "Then I need to perform some exercises right here …" She walked to a nearby sturdy tree for a few chin ups.

Even watching her sister's gymnastic exercises made Lola sweat, so she preferred to look away and whistle merrily while awaiting her Vince.

Finally, the well trained quarterback arrived. "Just had to take a shower."

Lola smiled."So … this is my sister Salvie … or, as she wants to be called, Shelby Marx." She pointed at the tree.

Shelby grinned. "Hi, Vincent. You are really the quarterback here?"

Vince nodded. "Sure!" He showed his bulging muscles."

Shelby scratched her chin. "Do you think you can take some punch?"

Vince laughed manically. "A girl's punch? Any time … thousands of them."

Shelby shrugged. "OK, then wait … better look for a place where you don't slump to the hard pavement … just in case you fail blocking me."

Vince chuckled, and he moved to the next bushes, although he did not really take the Latina's warning any serious.

Shelby announced, "coming in five … four … three … two …" She assaulted Vince and punched his chest and his shoulders fairly hard. "Hey, you were supposed to block me!" Vince cringed upon the impact of Shelby's adamantine fist , whimpering in pain.

Lola looked consternated. "Vince … are you OK? Salvia, you are not allowed to kill him!"

Ashely came along. "Oh, have I missed anything?"

Vince shook his head. "This is Shelby Marx, a professional martial artist, at least according to her punches." He held his aching limbs.

Ashley looked disappointed because Lola had not lied about having got an identical twin sister. But now she saw another chance for getting rid of her rival by letting Vince spend more time with Shelby. "Hey, I bet Shelby can't stand through a whole football training session with the boys!"

Shelby growled, "what do you say? For sure I could di that, I have gone through a hell of much tougher fights! So … when is your next football practice?"

Vince replied, "Tomorrow after dinner."

Shelby smiled. "Great! I will show you what a real kick and punch looks like!"

Ashley grinned for most excruciating mischief.


3.14 A New Start For Drake

Dustin and his friends were united in the lounge of the middle school boys in order to watch a new episode of Carly Shay's wonderful web show.

Quinn had wired the huge plasma screen in a way allowing all of the kids reunited here to watch it comfortably.

Carly and Samantha greeted the viewers, and they started to talk about a special guest: Drake Parker, or, as he was known to most kids outside southern California, Drake Bell.

The kids at Pacific Coast Academy were astonished, as they had not expected Drake in such a miserable condition.

The former star was holding his guitar tightly in his hands. he talked about thinks that had gone wrong during the last years, especially his wrecked record contract with Spin City. "I tell you, kids, fame at Hollywood does not come easy without a high cost, and you better be prepared to pay, or at least to read your contracts before signing them."

Carly explained, "the main culprits are Daka Shoes,[3:10] a creepy vendor for bad footwear …"

Sam added, "ugly, useless, and dangerous to boot … oops … boot?"

Carly grinned. "These boots are made for walking … and for kicking Daka's butts!" She insinuated a kick against someone's hindside. She reminded everyone that iCarly had once been paid by Daka for promoting one of their products that had turned out as a big loss.

Drake sighed deeply. "So, I tell you, never make publicity for Daka."

Carly nodded solemnly. "So, Drake will sing us something, but ge won't do so all alone. We have arranged some female lead vocals for him. I had almost thought that me and this girl had been twins … until I discovered a real mono …. monogamous twin sister … but this is a topic for later."

Freddie complained, "Carly, you do not have a twin sister, you are just kidding me, aren't you? Same goes for Sam and her Melanie."

The girls ignored stupid Fredward.

Sam continued, "an applause for rocker girl Lucilla Stone!"[3:11]

Carly squealed, "you rock, Lucy!"

The leather clad teenage girl with looks vaguely similar to Carly's marched in. "Yeah, let's rock this sleeping country awake, what do you say, Drake?" Sam giggled. "Awake … Drake … wow, I think it rhymes."

Carly smiled. "Drake and Lucy are now going to perform Hollywood Girl."[3:12]

Sam triggered some artificial applause.

The two young rock artists set the attic on fire … fortunately not literally, as Carly's brother Spencer would have done.

The performance was going to last for several minutes.

Then Fredward noticed some strange instant feedback on his screen. "What? Is everyone going to make fun of me now?"

The last soundwave of the songe had just withered away.

Carly asked Fredward, "have you got troubles?"

Fredward growled, "some stupid viewer claims to be Drake's monozygotic twin brother … is everyone trying to fool me?"

Carly walked up to the screen in order to read the message. "OK, Timothy Turner[3:13] from Dimsdale in California, whoever you are … please, don't abuse Fredward's naïvity any more … unless you are really serious about it." She sweated, because she felt that things were going to run out of control. "In that case, we would like you to provide us with more information and show up here in our show … some day, side by side with Drake."

Drake gasped, wondering, "Megan has found a mono … monotonous twin sister, I have found a mono … monumental twin brother. Has mom been lying to us all the time? Maybe she is just my mom, or just Megan's, or neither mine nor Megan's …" He felt increasingly uneasy.

Lucy Stone panted vigorously. "Sorry, may I say one last word? I have got a mono … mono … monolithic twin sister as well, her name is Geena Fabiano … well, she used to be a nice girl , with dreams of becoming a great fashion designer. But, as of recent, she has started turning grumpy and uncanny … more like a monster than a girl … I am afraid both of and for her …"[3:14]

This was already too much for Fredward Benson to bear. He ran away screaming like a fury, not caring about his way.

Carly was worried, but she could not prevent him from slipping and dropping down the staircase. Alas, he was not even aware of the possibility of having a monozygotic twin brother as well, videlicet aforementioned Toplin Wheeler. Otherwise, he would have killed himself mercilessly without caring about any consequences. Fortunately, Spencer was here in order to catch Freddie and drag him to his mother, who would not be pleased by the incident.

But was Marissa Benson really his mother? Fredward was still much too naïve to foster any doubts of whatever sort.

In this moment, the transmission from Seattle was about to break down.

Dustin Brooks was thoroughly consternated due to all the terror going on there. "Poor Freddie! Fprtunately he is unique …"

Wendy Gellar,[3:15] one of his class mates and former crushes, calmed him down. "Sorry for him, but I do know someone that looks too much like Freddie to be an accident, a certain Toplin Wheeler."

Dustin gasped. "What? This can't be."

Ashley Blake chimed in. "Wendy is right. Toplin is a creep, and I hate him. But he definitely looks like Fredward … totally like him, not just a bit similar."

Dustin sighed deeply, because he was now afraid. "Freddie will lose his mind completely when hearing about that."

Lola Martinez stumbled in, and she squealed, "Ashley, if you see your brother, you may tell him … it is over with us!" She had caught him and Shelby locking lips for several minutes straight.

Ashley giggled triumphantly.


3.15 Doctor Wheeler

Supported by Glazer Brooks, Quinn had done some research about aforementioned Doc Wheeler. He had been awarded several times by Harvard medical School for his research on defects of the human brain in electromagnetic fields. He had never been able to prove his theory in a convincing manner, though, and thereupon turned from brain surgery to dental medicine.

But now Quinn had got her own theory, according to which Wheeler had submitted various monozygotic twins to different electromagnetic fields in order to prove their impact on the nervous system. Fredward Benson and Toplin Wheeler — or so assumed Quinn — were one of the couplets abused by the crazy medic for this research. And he probably was not alone.

How had Marissa Benson come to Fredward? There was an easy answer. Marissa had once been a nurse in training at the very same hospital in which Wheeler's career as a surgeon had both started and ended: St. Schneider's in Seattle!

What if — as Quinn asked herself — Wheeler had still got connections to the staff over there? Shane Diamond, being known as a monozygotic twin brother of some James Diamond — was certainly not unlikely to be in danger of getting abused by Wheeler and his evil henchmen as well.

Quinn felt urged to do something about this, as soon as only possible.

No less shocking was the discovery of the name of one of the secretaries of St. Schneider's hospital chain back in the late eighties and early nineties: This was no other than Audrey Parker, the mother — or so had been assumed by many people during the last bunch of years — of Drake and Megan.

Quinn was unable to hide this fact from those two affected most by this message, the young people that had used to call Audrey their mother, for there was now a high probability that they had been stolen and abducted, as well as abused for pernicious experiments at St. Schneider's, a chain of hospitals that had also got a branch in San Diego.[3:16]


3.16 Zoey's Breakdown

Zoey had been tortured over and over again by her nightmares in which she was accused by Dana Cruz of having got her deported. Even worse, she heard Dana's voice when awake, during classes and in the gym, or even the cafeteria, like sitting next to her and watching her with a vengeful gaze And this was finally enough for her. One morning, right before Quinn's departure for Seattle, Zoey yelled in her dormitory room , "yeah, I did it!"

Lola and Quinn glared aghastat their room mate.

Zoey explained, "I really did get Dana expelled from Pacific Coast Academy, and Nicole too."

Nicole Bristow had been one of Zoey's first room mates. She was one annoying bimbo wench, addicted to cute boys. Zoey had denounced her to her parents, who had thereupon chosen to transfer her to girl only school Northridge.[3:17]

Quinn and Lola were totally consternated.

Lola had never met Dana, but she had heard Nicole and Zoey talk about her on occasions. Of course she was not pleased when hearing that Zoey was the culprit responsible for Nicole's expulsion.

Zoey also explained that she was about going insane for that, and that all this had started with her encounter with Mario in Gallini's pie shop in Seattle, due to his twin-like similarity with the dean of Dana's boarding school, Andrŕe Chaumont.

Lola knew Mr. Chaumont somewhat, although she had been away from the campus during his visit. "Mom had once wanted to send me to that boarding school in Paris, so I could become also a teacher for French. Fortunately she had changed her mind. But ever since, I get nightmares in which Chaumont is my dad."[3:18]

Zoey gasped.

For Quinn Pensky, this was just one more example of monozygotic siblings, useful for her project.

Lola continued, "I also dream of having some interesting affair with another André, a student at Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, the twin brother of Harper Harris.[3:19] You remember him, the Afro-American pop star who was once in Carly's web show? The two of them are really hot." She smiled gleefully.

Quinn and Zoey nodded solemnly.

Quinn added another notch in her list of couplets of monozygotic twins to be researched.


Chapter 4 Finale


4.1 Seattle

With the help of James Diamond, Quinn had actually been able to sneak some medication into the hospital dormitory hall of St. Schneider's reserved for absolutely hopeless cases.

Quinn had distracted Doctor Lintee,[4:1] the responsible medic at St. Schneider's, with the old trick of feigning an emergency case in some other room. Her detailed knowledge of human anatomy and patholigy, vastly superior to that of any med school graduate, made it possible for her to fool the staff of the hospital at whim.

This made it possible for James Diamond and for Quinn to sneak into the garbage room and inject an elixir based on the desoxyribonuclic acid of James into the veins of Shane Duiamond.

After only five minutes, the wretched body of the cute nerd started to recover from the consequences of the capital onslaught on him that had been performed by Samantha Puckett.

Shane confirmed Sam as 5the culprit. "She and Carly seemed to have a running bet that involved getting me to kiss one of them. I do not know what the stakes were, but it was certainly totally perverse."

Quinn shuddered for disgust. "Girls betting over a boy ,,, that is so abominable."

James Diamond wondered, "so what about boys betting over a girl?"

Quinn would have shor James with a portable laser cannon, but she had forgotten hers in her room in Hote Parker Nichols.

Shane explained the reasons for his fatal accident. "I had been invited int Carly's loft for what turned out to be an attempt of mean seduction. I had to walk the stairs, as the elevator was out of service, which was understandable because the whole loft was, acording to Spencer and Carly, left without power, for no apparent reason."

Quinn coughed. "Sounds like an excuse for setting up a candle light atmosphere …"

Shane nodded vigorously. "That was Carly's plan. I should have sensed that when she achieved turning on her stereo box or something like that for the purpose of playing all that smoochy music. Of course, this was impossible without electric power. But I swallowed it because of the possibility of several electric circuits within the loft."

Quinn shuddered for disgust. "Ouch, that was a really mean lie …"

Shane sighed as deeply as can be. "And Carly told me to take a closer look at her eyes because she believed something wrong with them. They were beautiful, but … apparently deceptive."

Quinn nodded solemnly. "I will have to talk some sense into Carly Shay."

Shane continued, "I was so close to kissing carly when Samantha exploded into the attic, turning on the main lights, and declaring that Carly's action had been totally foul and disgusting. Only in this moment did I sense that Carly and Sam had been lying to me all the time, and they were just in a contest, probably a bet, requiring them to get kissed by me."

James remarked, "I would not mind being a subject of such a bet."

Quinn growled, "I guess so … and that is definitely why I make this research, studying the reasons for such a radical discordance of monozygotic twins."

James wondered, "Monogamous twins? I want as many girls as I can get."

Shane chuckled about the remark of that excessively stupid coxcomb that was his monozygotic twin brother. "I am so embarrassed." He sighed those words with a very low voice, but loud enough for Quinn to here.

The geek girl understood his concerns, given that she was no less embarrassed by Camille, whom she hoped to replace her sufficiently well. Alas, she feared the worst. "Camille even believes that quantum mechanics are some sort of grease monkeys."

Shane still had to conclude his explanations. "Finally, I assumed that the elevator was working well, just because the whoke power failure had turned out as one big lie. And that was probably the problem …"

Quinn sighed deeply. "So you believe Samantha had done this on purpose?"

Shane nodded vigorously. "Yeah, her whole demeanour during the week before … it was like … Shane is mine or nobody's at all. She was not willing to let Carly win, under no circumstances whatsoever. And I am sure that Fredward had helped her here. During the whole week leadin to my so-called accident, Fredward had been turning increasingly jealous. He would probably never let anyone else date his Carly."

That made so much sense.

And now Quinn also remembered a few words she had heard in a conversation with Melanie Puckett.

Samantha had once got a boyfriend named Jeff Norkin.[4:2] Their dirty relationship had ended brutally when Samantha had pushed off a tree in which both iof tem had been sitting, kissing.

Well, of course Samantha denied any culpa. But in virtue of Shane's accident, this accusation made so much sense. And Melanie was not willing to believe that Samantha had acted with the intention of getting Jeff Norkin hurt.

After that "accident", Quinn Pensky and Doctor Hollywood had provided Norkin with artificial limbs, turning him effectively into a cyborg. Norkin was now knownb as the most dangerous high school tennis player of California. Of course he would have got all his trophies revoked, should his artificial limbs ever have attracted any public attention. And thus he had always stayed silent about the degree of the damage he had suffered from falling off the tree, as a consequence of being pushed by Samantha.

Quinn had also heard abiout Jeff Norkin for another source. Zoey Brooks had once upon a time mentioned that she had kissed said boy for no other reason than mere pity. Quinn was not in a position of verifying or rejecting Zoey's official motivation for the feint affection, but she knew that someone like Samantha Puckett was certainly able to have used Jeff just in order to get back at Zoey Brooks, who has in turn got her expelled from Pacific Coast Academy because of having seduced and abused no other than Dustin Brooks.

Melanie had also once told Quinn about some other important and related event.

Six years ago, Samantha Puckett had been accused of having pushed some Leanne Carter down a staircase, upon some Seattle Pageant.[4:3] Leanne Carter had won the event, and Samantha had obviously been utterly envious of this girl. But the only close witness was Leanne, and she was a supporter of the "turn the other cheek" theology. That's why she had probably refused to say the truth about Samantha's muderous onslaught.

Likewise, Quinn had long ago been a pageant girl,[4:4] and participated in similar contests, and she was nowadays embarrassed to the death by this unhappy past. She was especially not willing to think any further about events like that one.

Quinn had not only been here at St. Schneider's in order to resurrect Shane from comatosity, but she had also used the occasion in order to find out about the scandals that had been going on at various branches of this most renowned chain of hospitals along the Pacific coast during the late eighties and early nineties, the epoch of the activity of Doctor Wheeler and his excruciatingly decadent mistress Marissa Benson.

While Lintee and other members of the staff of St. Schneider's were distracted, Quinn had sent Drake Parker and Joshuah Nichols, dressed as medics, into the archive of the whole hospital block.

And in this moment, the agents were about to return from their most cristical mission, equipped with the proofs of the scandalous past of this renowned hospital chain.

Drake and Josh admitted that they originally come to Seattle in order to prove that Megan did not belong to Drake's family to begin with. This way, they had hoped to get rids of the girl that had rortured them over the course of many a year. They had hoped that Megan had been switchwed at birth or something like that.

But during their life in the emerald city, Josh and even more Drake had started missing the smart and cunning teenage girl, regardless of how much they had felt mistreated by her. And now it had become obvious that not only Megan, but also Drake was not really a member of the family he had been living in for twenty years, as he had got a twin brother in Dimsdale, still in California, but too far from San Diego to have made it by accident.

Quinn Pensky's laboratory had already confirmed the blood connection between Drake Parker and Timothy Turner.

Drake Parker was now more confused than ever before, and it was

Timmy Turner claimed that he would have wondered much earlier abouit his similarity with Drake, but he had always believed that the pictures of Drake and his band on TV had just been some kind of a trick deplotyed by his guardian fairies in order to make Timmy feel better. But seeing a wretched shadow of glorious rock star Drake Bell on the screen when watching his favourite web show had made him change his mind and inform Carly Shay and the rest of the world about his troubled mind.

Fredward Benson was too stubborn to believe in guardian Fairies, and thence he believed in Timmy Turner being nothing but a not so funny joke. Even now, he was not willing to believe in Toplin Wheeler, and he thought of the whole monozygotic twin stuff as one big conspiration, initaited by Carly and Sam, and carried on by Lucy Stone and Drake Parker, by Quinn Pensky and Spencer Shay, and many more people.

Quinn nodded solemnly when she received the folders handed unto her by the "boobs", as Megan used to call Drake and Josh.

In any case, Quinn would still have to read through the whole archive and draw her conclusions. Until then, she felt the urge to talk a bit more to Shane. "You have really built a magnetostatic multipulse flux generator?"

Shane smiled. "Oh yes, I did …"

Quinn grinned, "oh, I have always wondered what you get when combining a magnetostatic flux generator, even a simple one, with some of my inventions, such as especially the antigravity machine.[4:5]

Shane looked puzzled. "Woe, that looks so interesting … I think we should try this as soon as only possible."

Quinn smiled. "Tonight in Parker Nichols Inn? After a smoothy at T-Bo's?"

Shane nodded rigorously. "Excellent idea … why not?"

Quinn purred. "Drake and Josh … may you put up candle light in my hotel room? Just for me and Shane?"

Drake and Josh snickered. "But of course!"

But Josh also had got another question. "I have called Lola on her mobile phone, but there was a different girl, talking with a penetrant lidp."

Drake chuckled. "Lola doesn't like bigheaded dorks."

Josh poked his step brother.

Quinn giggled. "Oh, she has fooled you. Actaully, you have called Stacey Dillsen." She told Drake and Josh a bit more about that girl.

Josh sighed. "At least Stacey is honest and doesn't make fun of me."

Done with their business in St. Schneider's, Quinn and her henchmen left that uncanny building in order to return to the inn. The geek princess was also ready to talk to Camille, asking her about what had happened in her absence.

The drama queen in Quinn's family remarked that Logan had been confused a lot. "We started dated, and he thought me to be you."

Quinn was consternated. "What? I will not date him again."

Camilled nodded solemnly, remarking, "I thought so, but he figured the deceit. But I get now a rôle in his new yopung adult soap opera. I have to be the way, he has been cheating on you all the time when the two of you were together … he will never be a anything but a reckless womaniser."

Quinn sighed deeply. "I should have expected that. But now I have found something a gazillion times better." She panted heavily. "Shane …" Her moaning and purring voice went trembling through the ground, both in Seattle and in Malibu.


4.2 Science Fair

Now it was time for the science geek girl to present her invention.

The judge was Cal,[4:6] a graduate from California Institute For Technology.

The competition was of course an extremely and awfully tough one, especially due to the presence of Kirby Bancroft Chadworthy who was demonstrating another biological experiment involving cloning and genetic manipulation to some extent.

Quinn started her presentation by introducing a few of her living example of her thesis about the discordances of monozygotic twins. Unfortunately, not all of them had been able to make it to the science fair, and that was a bit disappointing, Without her most covincing examples, she would not be able to beat Kirby Bancroft Chadworthy.

Quinn's first example were Timothy Turner and Drake Parker alias Bell.

Kirby was annoyed. "OK, but what is the discordance between them? Granted, Drake is a good guitar player, but this is possibly the result of a long practice." Drake objected, claiming that he had not started playing the guitar before his "mother" Audrey, who had apparently abducted him at birth, had been divorced from her first husband.

Kirby shrugged. "Yeah, abducted at birth … good old fairy tale. In any case, both Drake and Timothy are no good for nothings, and that is a typical concordance for monozygotic twins."

Quinn growled, but for no avail.

Kirby was giving some more evidence for his theory about the cloning of rodents and canines.

Thereupon Quinn presented her next example. "This is Camille Roberts, my own monozygotic twin sister. An applause for … Camille."

The drama queenn stumbled in and slapped Kirby. "You filthy creep! You've cheated on me with the cheap girl next door, just ten minutes after promising me." She was very convincing in her rôle.

Kirby Bancroft Chadworthy was consternated. "Hey, what is going on here?"

Quinn explained, "this is a case for perfect acting, whereas I can't act zilch."

Kirby scratvched his chin. "How amm I supposed to know that you don't just act like someone unable to act?"

Quinn introduced more and more examples of monozygotic twins with severe discordances: Mario and André Chaumont, Megan and Carly, Samantha and Melanie, Spencer and "Crazy" Steve, Fredward and Toplin, Shane and James, Lulu and a certain Kelly Peckinpaw, True and fledgling pop star Cady Worth,[4:7] Lola Martinez and Shelby Marx, Harper and André Harris, goth girl Jade West and sweet supermodel Heather Fox,[4:8] self-obsessed Trinidad Vega and environmentalist Tootie Vega,[4:9] slacker Edmond Bigby and smart, inquisitive guy Nolan Byrd.[4:10] Unfortunately, it was not possible for me to talk Mr. Brooks from London into joining me for this fair, but his monozygotic twin brother is here on his own. An applause for … Doctor Glazer!"

The medic walked in, and he talked about his own experience with the birth of couplets of monozygotic twins."

Quinn Pensky explained what conclusions she had drawn from these observations. Then she explained her ultimate theory about theobserved discordances.

But Kirby Bancroft Chadworthy was still not convinced.

Quinn Pensky had got one last trump in her backpack, and she hoped him to arrive as soon as possible. Her mobile phone rang. "Quinn … oh, come in, Ryan!" She panted like a horse. "Next piece of evidence … sloppy, stubborn, and dumb Ryan Laserbeam, monozygotic twin brother of supersmart … Kirby Bancroft Chadworthy!"

Ryan rolled in on a skateboard, and he performed a backflip on it, astonishing the onlookers, and especially Kirby. "Hey, I am hallucinating … I see myself, but … I amnot that acrobatic."

Quinn grinned. "Is that your way of greeting your long lost twin brother?"

Kirby was still consternated. He fumbled at Ryan in order to check whether he was not just a hologram of himself.

Lulu and True giggled merrily when seeing their best friend struggling with his long lost twin brother.

Quinn's opponent just gave up due to his lack of ability of handling the unexpected surprise.

For that reason, Cal had to declare Quinn Pensky the uncontested winner of this year's science fair.

Megan Parker picked her oboe in order to play the triumphal ode from Giuseppe Verdi's wonderful great opera Aida for the honour of Quinn Pensky.

Even Kirby Bancroft Chadworthy started chimimg in.


S'intreccia il loto al lauro
Sul crin dei vincitori
Nembo gentil dei fiori
Stenda dalle arme un velo.[4:11]

Danziamo, fanciulle degli stati uniti, Le mistiche carole
Come d'intorno al sole
Danzano gli astri in cielo.[4:12]

Vieni, o Quinn Pensky vindice
Vieni a gioir con noi
Sul Passo dell'eroica Quinn
I lauri ed i fiori versiamo![4:13]


4.3 Conclusions

Due to the efforts of fearless detectiva and journalist Nolan Byrd, better known as "Shredderman" because he really shred every scandal, it was possible to reveal and publish the misdeeds of Doctor Wheeler and his foul henchmen, including especially Audrey Parker and Marissa Benson.

A few years ago, Nolan Byrd had solved the biggest case of environmental corruption in his Cedar valley, a place near Yosemite National Park. Some big company had abused the village lake in order to dump all the industrial rubbish of the whole county. Even the headmaster of his school had been involved. Unfortunately, that evil crep, Sheila Voss, was now working for some other school, more precisely, Ridgeway in San Diego, the school of Carly, Fredward, and Samantha. She used just a different name, Francine Briggs. Likewise, she had once been a superintendent in the the state of New Jersey, going by the name of Jacqueline Bell.[4:14]

Indeed, the scandal was not only running deeper than ever expected by Quinn when she had started the whole research about monozygotic twins, it had also assumed international dimensions, and these involved especially Fredward Benson and Toplin Wheeler.

More precisely, the two of them had also got yet another monozygotic sibling, and this was no other than Prince Gabriel[4:15] from southern american kingdom Miranda.[4:16] Doctor Wheeler and Audrey Parker had been assisting the birth of the heir to the throne, but there had been a triplet, indeed. The criminal team had stolen two of the boys of whose existence the royal family of Miranda had never been informed, as they had just expected one son, and not three of them.

In order to handle that disaster, the intervention of some diplomatic agent was required. Nolan "Shredderman" Byrd chose one Royce Bingham[4:17] for this dangerous but necessary enterprise.

Things were more complicated when it turned out that the Mirandese prime minister had known all the time of the baby abduction. He was now working in some country in South Eastern Asia as the boss of a military junta.[4:18] The whole country of Miranda had been involved, due to the intrigues and cabals initiated by the prime minister, in a hitherto unbeknownst trade scandal.

More precisely, the prime minister organised the trade of illegal grocery goods of southern american origin, a trade outlawed for a variety of reasons, sometimes political, but sometimes also for sanitary reasons. This was especially the case for Bolivian bacon[4:19] and Peruvian puff peppers.[4:20] Those goods were known to cause most severe health damage, such as kidney failure.

He had also been the one pulling the strings in the an infamous betting scandal in the Peruvian baseball league and its new star Brock Champion.[4:21]

This made Royce Bingham's job of researching the chaos prone situation of the little kingdom of Miranda particularly tough.

Quinn had previously figured that Fredward Benson's skull was equipped with a GPS chip, an implant by Wheeler and Marissa Benson who had used it for their diabolic experiments. Fredward was often enough confused by it, and he started even remembering things in his native Mirandese language, vaguely similar to regular Spanish but with a totally weird accent. She had not wasted any time removing that perverted implant. Thereupon, she had also examined Samantha Puckett who was also equipped with an implant, a radioactive one. This had also been part of an insane experiment by the sadistic doctor and his equally inappropriate nurse and midwife. The life span of both of these teenager girls would have been reduced severely by letting those implants in place, and they would have turned even more perverse and corrupt every minute.

As a consequence of the whole corruption in the country of Miranda, the peoiple and the militia forces rebelled against the royal court, chasing them into the next millennium. Instead, Fredward Benson was declared the new king, along with his fiancé Samantha Puckett alias Princess Puckett. Freed from the corrupting implants, they were now able to rule appropriately over the little weird state in the heart of Latin America.

Marissa Benson, Audrey Parker, and Doctor Wheeler were all left to rot in the dungeons beneath the strongholds of Miranda until the time of dystopia.

Prince Gabriel eloped with his new girlfriend Melanie Puckett to Canada.

At the same time, Lola had trashed Vince completely and left himm all to Shelby whp really deserved him. Lola was infinitely much better off with Drake Parker, after all. Together, Lola and Drake would win some dozen of Oscars, outdoing her worst rivals Ashley Blake and Camille Roberts.

Drake was made guardian for his no longer sister Megan, because she had finally started to appreciate that he had always done a lot for her, inspite of not even being related. But this did not mean that Megan's pranks had come to an end. She just shifted her target to politicians and big business bosses.

Carly was finally seeing that Dustin was her dream boy, as he was completely unlike any of the jerks usually hitting on her.

Lucilla Stone's lost twin sister Geena Fabiano had also been found. She had equally been mistreated by Doctor Wheeler and his excessively sadistic helpers.

Due to Wheeler's evil experiments, Geena had already been tuning into a ferocious plasma thrasher, one of the most dangerous monsters known to mankind, and she had used the name "Cadence Nash" for her new self. But Quinn had been able to use the same technique with which she had healed Shane Diamond, videlicet the injection of sane cells of her monozygotic twin sister Lucy, in order to cure Geena from her metamorphosis.

Zoey, Geena, and True were ultimately going to gang up and start their own fashion label, specialised on costumes for Hollywood.

Quinn Pensky and Shane Diamond were up to marrying right after their common senior prom. And if they have not yet bit the dust, they were still doing research together, forever and ever and ever.

The End


1:1:


This is insinuated in Zoey 101: Silver Hammers.

1:2:


Malcolm Reese is a guest character from Zoey 101: Spring Breakup.

1:3:


This granddfather is reported in Zoey 101: Zoey's Tutor

1:4:


Samantha Puckett from The iCarly Show is here identified with Trisha Kirby from Zoey 101: Bad Girl.

1:5:


Come On Inn is featured in The iCarly Show: iTake On Dingo.

1:6:


Doctor Glazer is a multiple cameo character from Drake & Josh, e.g. in The Bet.

1:7:


Sunset Studio is featured in 'daj: Drake and Josh go Hollywood and Victorious: A Film By Dale Squires.

1:8:


This identifies Drake Parker with Drake Bell from Zoey 101: Spring Fling.

1:9:


This identifies Trina Vega from Victorious with Rebecca from Zoey 101: Surprise.

1:10:


Paige Howard is a guest character from Zoey 101: Paige At PCA.

1:11:


This occurred in Zoey 101: Anger Management.

1:12:


This is featured in Zoey 101: Quinn's Alpaca.

1:13:


This is seen in Zoey 101: Pilot.

1:14:


This branch Chambrolay is mentioned in The iCarly Show: iRock The Votes. Other works by Schneider mention branches in different places.

2:1:


Opera Windfree is mentioned many times throughout Drake & Josh.

2:2:


This movie is mentioned in Drake & Josh: Helen's Surgery and in Victorious: Helen is back.

2:3:


Spin City is mentioned in Drake & Josh: Really Big Shrimp.

2:4:


Lola's problems with knitting are from Zoey 101: Walkathon.

2:5:


This is both "Makeout" Mandy mentioned in Zoey 101: Chasing Zoey and cameo Mandy the cheerio from Drake & Josh: Football.

2:6:


Vanessa Taylor is both cameo Vanessa from Zoey 101: Quinn's Alpaca and cameo Tayler from Unfabulous: The List Of Kissed.

2:7:


Gary Wolf is a cameo from The iCarly Show: iStage An Intervention.

2:8:


Pete is a guest character from The iCarly Show: iMake Sam Girlier, with a surname borrowed from the same actor's rôle in third party owned Bill Engvall Show.

2:9:


This is cameo Tasha from The iCarly Show: iNevel, identifie with some anonymous cheerio from Unfabulous: The Grey Area, and with a surname borrowed from the same actress's recurring rôle in third party owned Jonas

2:10:


Maria is from Zoey 101: Quarantime, with a surname borrowed from same actress's cameo in third party owned Hannah Montana: Achey Jakey Heart.

2:11:


The extraneous toe is mentioned in Zoey 101: Zoey's Balloon et alibi.

The collection of toenails is seen in Zoey 101: The Radio.

2:12:


This toolbox is seen in Zoey 101: Hot Dean.

2:13:


Mario is a guest character from The iCarly Show: iPie.

2:14:


André and Monique Chaumont are cameo characters from Zoey 101: Haunted House.

2:15:


According to Zoey 101: Back At PCA, Dana Cruz went to a school in Paris after one year t Pacific Coast Academy.

2:16:


This inappropriate demeanour is seen in Zoey 101: The Play.

3:1:


This is Lulu from True Jackson VP. She has not got a canonical full name.

The surname used here is chosen because of the same actress's rôle in Bucket And Skinner.

3:2:


This eye lasering surgery is mentioned in The iCarly Show: iMust Have Locker 239.

3:3:


Shelby Marx is a guest character from The iCarly Show: iFight Shelby Marx.

3:4:


Coach Juan is a guest character from iFight Shelby Marx.

Lola's father is a former athlete according to Zoey 101: Wrestling.

3:5:


Jessica Warner is a cameo in The iCarly Show: iFight Shelbu Marx et alibi.

3:6:


The quinnoculars are featured in Zoey 101: The Curse Of PCA.

3:7:


Doctor Wheeler is a cameo from The iCarly Show: iThink They Kissed.

3:8:


The Turk is a guest character form True Jackson VP: Ryan On Rolls.

3:9:


This is Nathan Kress's anonymous cameo in Drake & Josh: The Battle Of Panthatar.

The first name is mentioned in some credits, for example on IMDB.

The family name is chosen because there is also a Thornton Wheeler in the same episode, and Megan talks about Thornton's younger brother as a boy with a crush on her.

3:10:


Daka Shoes are featured in Drake & Josh: Really Big Shrimp and in The iCarly Show: iPromote Techfoots.

3:11:


Lucilla Stone is a guest character from Bigtime Rush: Big Time Rockstar, identified with the same actress's anonymous cameo in The iCarly Show: iLook Alike.

3:12:


This is a third party owned song by Drake Bell.

3:13:


Timothy Turner is the star of Fairly Odd Movie.

3:14:


Geena Fabiano from Unfabulous is here identified with Cadence Nash from The Troop.

3:15:


This is guest character Wendy from Drake & Josh: Number One Fan, with a surname borrowed from the same actress's co star character from third party owned Camp Rock.

She is identified with some unportrayed Wendy mentioned by Dustin in Zoey 101: Lola likes Drake.

3:16:


This branch of the hospital chain is featured in Drake & Josh: Paging Doctor Drake.

3:17:


Northridge is mentioned in various episodes of Victorious and identified with Eastridge, mentioned in Bigtime Rush: Big Time Break.

3:18:


This refers to the fact that the father of Tori Vega in Victorious is the same as that of André Chaumont and of aforementioned Mario.

3:19:


Harper is a guest character from The iCarly Show: iCarly Saves TV.

4:1:


Lintee is a cameo character from The iCarly Show: iSaw Him First.

4:2:


Jeff Norkin as Sam's ex boyfriend is mentioned in The iCarly Show: iHate Sam's Boyfriend.

He is identified with a Jeff Norkin mentioned in Zoey 101: Vince is back.

He is furthermore identified with a Norkin mentioned in Zoey 101: Good-bye, Zoey!.

4:3:


Leanne Carter is a guest character from The iCarly Show: iWas A Pageant Girl, where also this onslaught is mentioned.

4:4:


This is seen in Zoey 101: Silver Hammers.

4:5:


This machine is seen in Zoey 101: Paige At PCA.

4:6:


Cal is a guest character from The iCarly Show: iGo Nuclear.

4:7:


Cady Worth is starring in Rags.

4:8:


Heather Fox is a guest character from Bigtime Rush: Big Time Secrets.

4:9:


Tootie is starring in Fairly Odd Movie

4:10:


Nolan Byrd is the star of Shredderman Rules.

4:11:


Intwin lotus and laurel into a winners's crown! Let a gentle mist of flowers weil the weapons!

4:12:


US Girls! Let's dance mystic carols, just like the stars in the sky dance around the sun!

4:13:


Come on, victorious Quinn Pensky, come and rejoice with us! Let's shed flowers and laurel when heroic Quinn passes by.

4:14:


This identifies Francine Briggs from The iCarly Show with the same actress's rôles in Shredderman rules! and Unfabulous: The Grey Area.

4:15:


Prince Gabriel is a guest character from True Jackson VP: True Royalty.

4:16:


This country is fictional, but the Mirandese language mentioned below does exist in some valley in northern Portugal.

4:17:


Royce Bingham is a guest character from True Jackson VP: True Fear.

4:18:


This is the anonymous chancellor of Victorious: Locked Up.

4:19:


Bolivian bacon is mentioned in The iCarly Show: iSaved Your Life.

4:20:


This sort of chilies is featured in Drake & Josh: Peruvian Puff Pepper.

4:21:


Brock Champion appears several times throughout True Jackson VP.