A/N: Hello, gentle readers! In this Journey fic parody, I will be co-writing with Artemissymetrical, who worte about half of this chapter. She also created Artemis. So, yeah. Enjoy!
Those who knew Luna Walsh used may words to describe her. Brash, confident, loud, blue, and so on and so forth. However two words that never came up were "sane" and "competent". The thing was, she wasn't sane and competent. In fact, the only thing she was ever good at was Pokémon battling. That, and the bagpipes. Whenever she went to the store, she would get lost and would need to ask for directions. Also, she always lost the shopping list and bought everything that was not on it.
When she would cook, she always started a fire.
When she cleaned, she started a fire.
When she watered the grass, a fire would start.
When she started a fire, it went out.
You get the point. When she did stuff, things would go horribly wrong.
And her sanity, well, that can be explained by her strange home life.
Her father, Doctor Hartley Walsh was an astro-entomologist at the Mossdeep Space center. That basically meant he studied dirt and rocks from space. And no, I didn't make that up, I think. The man was literally in love with space. Since his childhood, Hartley was fascinated with space. His love of it made him name his daughter Luna. He was freaking obsessed! Almost all her ever talked about was space. Space Space Space Space Space!
Oh, and his entire head was completely shadowy from the neck up. What, you've never heard of a person having a shadowy head? Well, no one knows why his head is like that. Ever since birth, his head was all dark, while the rest of him was pale.
His hair was, well, shadowy and wavy. His eyes appeared as giant white saucers, and his mouth was shaped like a red banana strewn across his face. Over all, he kinda looked like a generic mad scientist, even though he was
actually quite nice. Albeit space obsessed. Space.
His daughter didn't look a thing like him. She had short, dark blue with jagged locks of hair that hugged her face. Her height and build was average for a sixteen year old in the Hoenn region. She wore a blue button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and wore a pair of khakis with a hole in the left knee. And to top (or, rather, bottom) it all off, she wore lime green sneakers.
But you're not here to hear about her home life, are you? You're here to read about her adventures.
It all began one normal day with Luna eating cereal for her breakfast. In reality, however, this was her third attempt at eating some. The first two tries led to an explosion and a murder-suicide, respectively. Trust me, you don't want the specifics. But three times in apparently the charm, as she managed to pour a bowl a bowl this time around without incident.
Her father, on the other hand, opted to eat buttered toast, the true breakfast of champions. As he finished his food, he asked, "Luna? Space."
"Mmm?" Luna looked up from her cereal, whose name I can't mention to to legal reasons.
"Do you remember how I have a job that the Author totally didn't make up? Space."
"...I remember something similar to that."
"Well, it turns out that it actually has plot relevance."
Luna spat out a bit of her cereal at her father's eye. Luna gasped slightly and uttered a quick apology. "Oops sorry, dad. Didn't mean that to happen."
"It's fine," he said as he wiped himself off with a napkin."Anyway, I'm going on a business trip to Unova in a few days."
"Because they found so rock there and they think that it might be from SSSSPPPPAAACCCCEEE! Space."
"Sweet! Does that mean I have the house to my self?"
"Of course not! Space."
"Luna, you know I love you, but I just don't feel like I can trust you enough to let you stay home alone. Space," the good doctor looked at his daughter with pleading eyes.
"B-but I can handle it! I'm a grown woman! I'm sixteen! You can't just treat me like a child anymore!" Luna slammed her hands on the table and sat up abruptly.
"Luna!" Dr. Walsh said in a much more serious tone than what he had used before. "If you want me to treat you like an adult, then act like it! Make your breakfast without people dieing in horrific ways! Space."
Luna was taken aback by her fathers words. "But I... I just..." Luna ran out of the kitchen, and out of the house.
"Luna! Space." The scientist called after his daughter, but to no avail. She was out of earshot. He sighed. Perhaps he could have handled that a bit better...
Meanwhile, in a place far far away (five minutes from where Luna is) Artemis was currently doing what she did best.
Stealing. Well, that and drinking milk through her nose. But more on that later.
Artemis was a girl around Luna's age. She was a thin girl, but not like a Mary sue thin. Like a normal person-y kind of thin. She wore a navy blue hoody with a matching (and long-ass) scarf. Oh, and baggy jeans and boots. Her hair was brown, and was cut like crazy like. Which she totally was. Oh, and green eyes.
Hmm, nearly there. Just one more reach… She smirked in triumph as her hands closed around the boys purse.
"HELL YEAH!" she screamed, causing everyone in the vicinity to turn round and stare at the brunette. "I did it! It's all mine…"
She then proceeded to laugh in an evil manner, kind of like this: "MWA HA HA HA HAAAA!" or was it like this: "Tee hee hee hee!"
Anyway, said boy turned round and whacked Artemis with his handbag. "Gimme back my purse, biyatch!" he squeaked campily.
Artemis stared at the almighty pinky thing in front of her. The almighty pinky thing stared at the wannabe emo in front of him/her/it.
After a minute or so of this, Artemis asked "Why are we staring?"
The almighty pinky thing (for **s sake, let's just call it APT) continued staring. "By the power vested in me given by the great god Gok Wan, I curse with the curse of the colour Black!"
"Dafuq are you on?" Artemis asked curiously. "And could I have some?"
"NOOOOOOO!" APT shrieked and broke several windows, a car and some old dude's glass eye. "I want Pursey back!"
"… No. Pursey's mine now."
APT stopped shrieking to the relief of the not-so-innocent bystanders. "Pursey… you're cheating on me? How could you?"
Pursey remained mute.
APT burst into tears, staining his pink clothes and fat cheeks (or bits of ham sellotaped to his face). "Pursey… It's OVER!"
He rolled away, screaming pink murder and offering prayers to Gok Wan. Artemis sweat-dropped.
"Uh… what just happened?" she asked the passers-by, who wisely walked away from the crazy child.
"At least I got Pursey…" she sighed happily. Suddenly, a random Braviary came from nowhere and took Pursey away.
"NOOOOOOOO! Pursey's been kidnapped! Call the police! The fire brigade! The army! MY POOR BABY!"
And off into the sunset she ran, chasing after the "bloody pigeon" and cursing Arceus the entire way.
A/N: Please review and tell us what you thought! Thanks!