~ Chapter 19 ~

For the first time since they met, Thor avoided Loki. Even if the black haired man stayed in a coma Thor couldn't bare to see him. His whole world had been turned upside down and so had his feelings. He had no idea what he should feel or what he should feel. It was all just a mess.

On top of everything, he didn't want to face his parents so he stayed over at his friends places for a longer period of time. At first they had wanted to know what were wrong but after he broke down without a word they refrained from asking any more.

How could he tell them anything?

That he had unknowingly slept with his half-brother? That he were... was in love with his half-brother? He felt sick just thinking about it, knowing everything he and Loki had shared and done with each other.

Even in his dreams he could see Loki's face as the pale man pleasured him with his mouth, how he impaled himself lustfully on his manhood. He no longer wanted to sleep out of fear of what he would dream about.

His mother tried to talk to him but he rejected even her. Although she were a victim to his father's infidelity, they had not done such despicable and wile things like he had. They couldn't understand how he felt.

By the time he looked at the calender again he noticed with a heavy heart that Loki's birthday had passed. The special day he had looked forward to celebrating with him. Loki's 18th birthday. But knowing everything and piecing together what he didn't he felt even more sick to his stomach.

If it hadn't been for the single phone call from the hospital he might have continued to avoid everyone.

"Hello? Is this Thor Odinson?" the voice said under the unknown caller id.

"Who is this?"

"This is the local hospital. I'm calling because you are named Loki Laufeyson's contact person in case something changed."

His heart jumped to his throat. "What's wrong?" he asked in a voice which broke in fear. Had Loki taken a turn for the worse?

"Nothing's wrong, Mr Odinson, quite the contrary. He's showing signs of waking up. It would be good to have familiar faces around him when he wakes up, considering what he's been through."

"A-ah." the sound got stuck in his throat before coming out like he understood.

"Would you like to be here?" the nurse on the other end asked.

"Yes." he didn't really think about it. "I'll be there."

The nurse went on about something he later wouldn't remember but somehow he made his way to the hospital and stood outside Loki's door. It felt like an entirely different world lay on the other side. He still didn't know what to do or how to handle the situation.

Only that he couldn't let Loki be alone.

With his heart beating almost painfully in his chest, he opened the door and to his surprise found his lover... brother... sitting in the bed with a dazed look on his face. The mask hung around his neck and his hands in his lap.

"Loki." he called carefully and still managed to draw the others attention. The green eyes looked at him as if they still hadn't woken up yet.

Thor tried to smile at him. "Your awake." what were he feeling? Maybe he wasn't prepared for this. Maybe this were a bad idea.

"Who are you?"

His breath died in his lungs.

In front of him sat Loki with a questioning look on his face, the three words leaving his mouth with ease.

"I'm Thor remember?" he said as if this were all a big bad joke.

He could see Loki were thinking carefully before slowly shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I don't know you."

"He suffers amnesia as a result from the trauma to his head. From what we can tell he knows how to speak, hear, count and write just fine, but his personal life is gone. He don't know who his family is or what has happened to him, which, in his case might be a blessing." the doctor informed the trio as they sat in his office.

Odin stood behind Thor and Frigga as they stared at the gray haired doctor.

"Will he ever remember?" asked Odin.

"I can't tell." the man admitted. "It could return in a few hours, or they may never return. The only thing we can do now is help and make his life as easy as possible. No matter what happens he will need a safe place to live and be cared for."

Thor stood outside Loki's door the next day. His parents were filling out the paper work for Loki and he still couldn't stand to be in the same room as his father.

With a slow breath to calm his nerves, Thor entered the room to find Loki standing in his hospital gown by the window, looking outside at the world.

When he heard someone enter he turned around and his eyes showed a spark of recognition.

"You were here yesterday." Loki said in a calm, neutral voice. No signs of recognition in his eyes.

Thor smiled as naturally as he could, but he couldn't hide the pain in his eyes.

"Yes. My name is Thor." he needed to swallow to say the rest. "I'm your older brother."

The End

A/N: Yes. You've seen right. This is the last chapter of "Secrets and Ties", but don't worry, it will be continued in the sequel "Secrets and Guilt" where everything picks up again after a short time skip. So that makes this story an unplanned prequel for what I've next got planned. I hope you've enjoyed it so far and will continue to follow me. As a last word, review and let me know what you think. It's always fun to read what you have to say.