So, the idea was pitched to me on tumblr by an anonymous character. They mentioned Suno from Jingle Village and how she had a crush on Goku. Jealousy, love triangles, wild house parties, all that jazz. Talk about a plot bunny! Here's to hoping that this'll be at least 4 chapters. And I know I need to finish Just Married, but inspiration is a fickle thing.
Disclaimer: Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are (c) Akira Toriyama and Toei. This is amateur fiction, strictly for fun and nonprofit, and will be removed upon the copyright holder's request (courtesy of Sholio).
"Did you pack your coat?"
"Yes, Chi-Chi. It's in the bag."
"Did you pack your thermals?"
"I'm wearing them, Chi-Chi, remember? You forced me to, even though it's 80 degrees outsi-"
"Did you remember to pack extra, clean underwear?"
Goku, exasperated beyond all relief, huffed out in embarrassment; though, catching that fierce gleam in his wife's eye, he quickly tossed her a sheepish, apologetic grin. Rubbing the back of his head with one hand and fanning the other, Goku said, "Sorry, Chi. I remembered. But can you at least tell me why you're making this into such a big deal? I mean," Goku whined as he tugged at the collar of his turtle neck sweater, "we're not even there yet and I'm sweatin' bullets under here. Couldn't this have waited?"
Chi-Chi slapped his hand away from his collar and with a ghost of a frown, she retorted, "Because I want this to be absolutely perfect and you and I both know how forgetful you can be. We haven't had any time to ourselves since you came back to life and it's been nearly two years. It's not that I have a problem with you spending time with the boys," she continued as she pocketed the small list in her hand that she just checked off. "I just want to hog you to myself. Just for a little while," she finished with a smile before giving her husband a peck on the cheek. "Is that so bad?"
Goku eagerly took his wife's chin to his face and welcomed her lips to his own. "No; not really," he said, kissing her again. Chi-Chi returned it with gusto.
It wasn't until the couple was greeted with the loud voice of Goten, who shouted, "Ew! Gross! Mom and Dad are kissing! Yuck!", that they broke apart, Chi-Chi hiding her flushed face and Goku grinning impossibly wide.
"One day you're gonna find a girl that you really like little guy and you'll be doing the same thing," Goku said, ruffling his son's hair.
Goten laughed, but his father didn't miss the shudder he gave off when he sneered, "Girls have cooties, Dad. Do you want me to get sick?"
"You're saying your mother has cooties?"
Goten gasped, clearly affronted at the mere prospect of his mother having anything remotely close to cooties. "Momma doesn't have cooties! She's not a girl! She's a woman!" the nine-year-old yelled, completely oblivious to the fact that women were merely grown-up girls. Goku howled with laughter, having no words to combat his son's ridiculous assumption.
"Wait until you're older, Goten," came his older brother's voice. Gohan swallowed the last of his toasted snack, coming to a standstill at the threshold of the foyer with crossed arms. "You're going to change your mind."
"Right," Goten shot back with a sarcastic drawl. "Maybe I'll end up with a girl like Videl." Then he proceeded to make kissy noises as he quickly hid behind his father's pants leg just in case Gohan decided to chase after him.
Gohan, ignoring his brother's childish antics, turned towards his mother. "How long are you guys gonna be out?"
Chi-Chi pulled a brochure out of her jeans pocket, giving it a once-over before sparing her son a gaze. "We're just going to be gone for the weekend and we'll be returning by Sunday morning. Hopefully," she added. "Kami knows this planet can't go a day without something unexpected happening."
"But why did you have to go out this week? Can't you just go next week?" Goten whined, stepping from behind his father's pants leg to stare up at his mother with a pout.
"No, we can't go next week," Chi-Chi answered, not bothering to spare a glance at her son's infamous pouty face. It wasn't going to work. Not this time. "Your father and I have been planning this trip for nearly a year for our anniversary and that, my sweet Goten, isn't something you can just put off 'til next week," she finished, kneeling to his height and pinching his cheek before she stood back up to look at her brochure. "That's something you'll understand when you're older."
Goten flinched, rubbing his cheek when his mother was done squeezing the life out of it. "You always say that. Dad, do you really have to go? I wanted to train today," Goten lamented, turning his pout towards his father. Goku, who had recently taken a soft spot towards his youngest, tossed the hybrid one of his biggest grins as he knelt to Goten's height and placed an affectionate hand atop his head.
"Listen, buddy, we'll only be gone for a few days and we'll be back before you know it! I promise. The minute I get back, I'll take you to visit my old master King Kai and we can do some real, hardcore training, 'kay?"
"Can we go today instead?" Goten asked, his excitement bubbling off of him in waves.
Goku opened his mouth to speak, but Chi-Chi cut him off, her voice taut and stern. "Absolutely not," she answered, narrowing her eyes at her husband and son when both he and Goten tossed her a pout. "We have somewhere to be and unless you want to be late, I suggest you say your good-byes Goku so that we can leave. It'll take us nearly a day to get there."
Goku's facial expression matched that of Goten's as both of them sagged their shoulders. With a quick ruffle to his head - and for the third time; Goten was making sure to keep count - Goku tapped his son lightly on the cheek with a fist. "I'll see you in a few days, 'kay?"
"'Kay," Goten grumbled with a slight frown, crossing his arms over his chest for added emphasis. Goku stood to his full height and walked over to his eldest with nothing short of a smile.
"You're the man of the house now, Gohan," the Saiyan started off, giving the teenager a fist pound. "Think you can hold down the fort while we're gone?"
Gohan couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. "Jeez, Dad," he said with a roll of his eyes. "You're acting as if someone died. You're just leaving for the weekend; no big deal."
Chi-Chi giggled as she walked over to her baby boy and knelt to his height and with a hug and a kiss to the cheek, she said, "I'll be thinking of you, Goten. You're a big boy now. Surely, you can last a few days without your mommy, right?"
"Of course I can!" he barked, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "I'm a Super Saiyan and I'm nine-years-old now!"
"Alright Mr. Super Saiyan," Chi-Chi laughed, before placing another chaste kiss on her son's cheek. As if he were disgusted by the entire ordeal, Goten wiped at his face with the sleeve of his blue shirt. He was way too old for kisses and hugs from his mother!
Chi-Chi proceeded to finish her good-byes, standing and stalking over to her eldest, whom she gave a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. "You're in charge Gohan and I trust you to be a responsible, young adult. That means no late night horror movies, no midnight snacking, no company - that means no Videl," she emphasized with narrowed eyes, making sure to look Gohan straight in the eye, "and under no circumstance is there to be any wild house parties in our absence. Do I make myself clear?"
"Of course, Mom," Gohan answered. "I've got it all under control."
A smile enveloped her lips. "Good. I've packed away a week's worth of food - breakfast, lunch, and dinner - shall either of you ever get hungry; however, once you eat that, there is nothing else. Shall any problems arise, I want you to call Bulma and she'll send Vegeta right over. I want Goten and Trunks in bed by 8."
Goten immediately perked up, contrast to how he was a minute ago and he launched himself at his mother. "You mean that-"
Chi-Chi nodded her head as she turned around to meet Goten's mile-wide smile. "Yes. Trunks will be spending the weekend here."
Goten engulfed his mother in a hug as he jumped for joy. "Oh, thank you, Momma! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best!"
Gohan wasn't nearly as excited as his brother as his shoulders nearly dropped to the floor. With his mouth agape and his temples throbbing, he could feel a headache coming on. "You've got to be kidding me! Mom, that's not fair! Goten's allowed to have company and I'm not?" he asked, more bothered by the fact that he had to babysit two half-Saiyans alone, one of which was the son of Vegeta, who, quite frankly, was a hellion all on his own!
"Don't 'Mom' me," Chi-Chi countered, walking over to her purse and tote bag near the entrance of the door. "Videl is a female and you already know how I feel about you being alone in a room with her. The power of nature isn't something to play with and I'm not sure how I feel about being a grandmother just yet."
Gohan's face resembled that of a cherry tomato and it only worsened when he heard his father and brother bark with laughter. "M-Mom, that's not what I meant!" he shouted as embarrassment nestled in the pit of his stomach. "Trunks is ... a handful," he worded carefully. "I'm not sure if I can handle him and Goten alone."
"Nonsense!" she cried cheerfully, snatching the car keys off the hook. "You've babysat those two on more than one occasion in the past and you were much younger then; I'm sure you can handle them now."
"But that was before those two learned how to fight," the half-Saiyan grumbled. "You're practically throwing me under the bus here, Mom."
Goten, offended that his brother had such a big problem babysitting him and his best friend, shouted, "Well, I don't need you to babysit me anyway, Gohan! Me and Trunks are old enough to watch ourselves!"
Hysterical laughter nearly escaped Gohan's lips, but he managed a scoff as he retorted, "This is coming from the boy who can't even go five minutes without his Power Ranger Night Light."
"You take that back!" Goten yelled, both flustered and angry. "I can too go without that dumb thing!"
"So, if I go throw that 'dumb thing' in the trashcan right now, you won't have a problem with it?"
Goten paused, but did not back down. "No! But you better not touch my stuff or I'm tellin'!"
"Calm down boys," Goku intervened, holding out his hands in a defensive manner. "There's no need to fight."
"Not until he takes back what he said!" Goten yelled, not bothering to spare his father a glance.
Gohan chuckled, crossing his arms. "Don't waste your breath, sport. I'll do nothing of the sort."
Chi-Chi, who had just about enough of her children's ridiculous squabble, snatched Gohan and Goten by the ear, halting them before they could go any further, and twisted it with a painful squeeze. Both hybrids cried out in pain as she let go and a furious glare washed over her features. "Alright, dammit!" she barked, not at all caring whether her sons flinched at her boisterous tone. Even Goku flinched and he wasn't even apart of the topic!
"I've had just about enough of your bickering! Neither one of you get a say-so as to what goes on in or around this house! Now, I left you in charge Gohan because I thought you were mature enough to handle this, but it's painfully obvious that you can't if you're gonna be goin' back and forth with your nine-year-old brother!"
Goten pointed his finger at his brother and immediately laughed in mockery. Chi-Chi directed her fierce glare in his direction and he immediately clamped both his hands over his mouth, eyes wide with fear.
"As for you young man; I expect you to be on your best behavior, Son Goten! I'd hate to have to call Bulma and tell her that Trunks can't come over because you can't behave yourself."
"But-but, that's not fair! He started it!" Goten pointed an accusatory finger at his older brother as his eyes teared up.
Chi-Chi growled. "And I'm ending it!"
Goten and Gohan clamped their eyes shut, cringing at the harshness in her voice.
Goku placed a careful hand on her shoulder, nearly shrinking back when she turned to face him. "I think the boys get it, Chi," he stated, hoping to keep her from not just yelling at the boys, but yelling at all. All of this screaming was going to do long-term damage to his sensitive, Saiyan ears. "There's no need to yell anymore."
Said housewife took a deep, calming breath. "I was at a five," she said, placing her hands on her hips and staring at her sons. "You don't want to see me at a ten. Now, I expect you two to be on your best behavior. We'll only be gone for a few days and we trust you two enough to leave this place exactly the way we left it, understand?"
They nodded their heads.
"Good!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together. "Trunks should be arriving in the next hour or so. I left tonight's dinner in the fridge. And with that said, I want you two to kiss and make up so that your father and I can leave." Neither boy made a move to apologize, choosing instead to look in the opposite direction of each other with frowns, Goten more so than Gohan. Chi-Chi placed her hands on her hips again, her lips pulling into a scowl. "Now."
Slowly, both boys looked at each other and grumbled an insincere apology before looking away. Knowing that it was the best she'd get from them, Chi-Chi sighed.
"We'll miss you and we love you," she said with a soft smile. She turned to stare at her husband, who'd just given their sons a thumbs up. "Come on, Goku. We've wasted a full thirty minutes already and I don't want to be late for our reservation."
Goku lifted the three large duffel bags that Chi-Chi had spent the last few days packing with one hand and tossed her a mile-wide grin. "There's no need to worry!" he exclaimed. "I can get us there in five seconds with the Instant Transmission. Grab my shoulder." The hero wasted no time placing his forefingers to his head.
Confused beyond all reasoning, Goku quirked a brow at his wife as he lowered his fingers. "No?"
"No," the short woman repeated. "This is suppose to be our anniversary and I want this small vacation to be wonderful. I know that your Instant-whatever can get us there in three seconds flat, but we're supposed to be spending time together. And I think a nice car drive with just the two of us will do just the trick!"
"But-but, that'll take hours!" he wailed, his shoulders slumping.
Chi-Chi scoffed as she opened the front door. "Do you even know where we're going in the first place? You can't teleport anywhere if you don't know where it is."
"Well, no," Goku countered feebly, "but since we're wearing winter clothes in the summer," he emphasized, pulling at his incredibly thick sweater with his fingers, "it's gotta be someplace cold, right?"
Chi-Chi rubbed her temples with an aggravated sigh. "I'm not having this conversation with you, Goku. We've talked about this on numerous occasions, but like I said before, we both know how extremely forgetful you can be. Now quit yapping, and get in the damn car."
Gohan and Goten watched their parents bicker from the threshold of the foyer, unsure of what to make of the situation. Chi-Chi had been down their throats about arguing just a few seconds ago and now she was doing the same thing with their father ... talk about unfair! As Chi-Chi shoved Goku out of the door, bidding the two boys a farewell filled with I-love-yous and we'll-miss-yous, Gohan turned to Goten, whose mouth was contorted into a pout. It wasn't quite teary-eyed, but it did leave Gohan wondering why his brother was in such a bad mood.
"Hey, don't worry," Gohan said, placing a gentle hand on Goten's shoulder. "They'll be back in no time. Besides, we have the whole house to ourselves. There's gotta be something we can do while they're out that Mom wouldn't normally let us do. So cheer up," he finished, completely disregarding their feud.
Goten sniffled, looking up to his brother. "Not until you take back what you said about the Red Ranger."
Gohan could only stare at Goten, wondering just what in Kami's name he was getting himself into. He could only imagine how awful this weekend would be once Trunks arrived.
Hopes no characters are OOC. I wanted to have Goten and Gohan bicker, because hey, that's what siblings do. They argue and fight like school girls do over petty, little boys and like boys do over school lunches. If there are any errors, point 'em out and let me know so I can edit them out. And yeah, more Goku/Chi-Chi next chapter and think of this story as an apology for my piss poor updating skills.