Disclaimer: All Twilight related content belongs to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I just enjoy messing with her characters. :)

A/N: Here's my new story! I hope you like it. Please review, if you do. Ha, that kinda rhymed. Skillz.


You can do this Bella, I tell myself as I smooth down my skirt. It ends about three inches above my knees and I think for the third time this morning, that it's too short for a kindergarten classroom. My phone rings right as I reach for a longer skirt.

"Hello Alice," I say without even needing to look at the caller ID.

"Do not even think about changing that skirt, Bella. It looks fabulous on you. It screams kindergarten teacher who isn't over fifty and doesn't own a cat. Do. Not. Change."

"But I do own a cat."

"It's a kitten."

"But it'll be a cat eventually," I argue back.

"Bella," she warns.

I sigh but give her my word before hanging up and feeding said cat. "Do not ruin anything today," I say sternly as he licks his paws, completely ignoring me. "Good talk." I scratch behind his ear as he purrs, before he realizes that there's now food in his bowl and I'm forgotten about.

Typical male.

I am not a coordinated person. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a klutz, and if there was a club, I'd be its President. But here I am, juggling my purse, a backpack, and a huge box full of first day supplies for my first ever class. It was doomed from the start.

"Shit!" I cry out as I fall. Knowing from experience that there's no way to stop my fall, I drop the box and hold my hands out in front of me, preparing to brace for impact. "Ow," I whine as all of my weight lands on my hands. To any passerby it probably looks like I decided I needed an impromptu work out session and am in the middle of a push up.

Luckily it's six in the morning and nobody is around.

"Are you okay?" A smooth voice asks from above me.

Fuck.

Okay, someone is around.

And someone is touching my waist and helping me up…

Please don't be a creepy killer or something else that'll end with me dead and buried.

As I right myself and disengage my body from Mr. Stranger, I take a step back and look up.

Holy fucking shit.

I do not care what or who you are just…pretty please with you on top, fuck me.

Wait, what?

I shake my head, internally telling my vag to take a Klonopin or something so it'll calm down and allow my brain to function.

"Miss…?" he trails off, looking at me like I'm an idiot. Which I admittedly am right now…but it's his fault.

So pretty.

I shake my head again, trying to clear all of the passing fantasies that involve him and me naked so I can remember my name.

"Um…Swan."

"I'm sorry?" he gives me an adorable lopsided grin. His bright green eyes crinkle in confusion.

"Uh, my name is Ms. Swan." Ms. Swan, really? Ugh! "Isabella Swan." Ew, not Isabella. "No, Bella. Sorry."

Smooth.

He says nothing about my verbal diarrhea, instead only smiles and extends a hand in greeting. "Hello Bella," he says and his voice causes tingles all over my body. "I'm Edward Cullen."

I ignore the tingles and begin picking up my backpack and purse. I'm about to reach for the box as well, but Edward steps in and grabs it. "I don't think we need a repeat performance, do you?" he asks with a sexy smirk. "I'll carry it to your car."

"Um, thanks." My body flushes with the knowledge that he saw the whole entire thing.

Apparently 'um' and 'uh' are the only words I know.

Stupid gorgeous man.

He places the box into the backseat of my behemoth of a truck that's probably older than Mr. Sexy and I combined, before shutting the door gently. I throw my purse and backpack on the passenger seat and climb in. He kneels down next to my driver's side door and rests his arms on the open space when I roll down my window. "So, Bella…I'm new to the area. Would you mind showing me where to get a decent cup of coffee sometime?"

When the fuck did Mr. Sex-On-Legs move in? Was I in a coma?

Just as I'm about to answer, a little boy runs out of the house across the street and a few doors down from mine. "Dad! Come on we're gonna be late!" he screams while waving his arms around dramatically.

Dad?

It's okay Bella. Breathe. He's just a DILF.

"Uh, I'll be there in a second buddy, go get your backpack," he says without taking his eyes from mine. I don't know what he sees there, but he smiles slightly and stands up. "If you're not up for that cup of coffee now, that's fine. I have a pretty reliable GPS and Forks seems like a really small town."

I'm about to tell him that I'll gladly still show him where the best coffee is when I'm cut off again. This time it's not an innocent little boy looking for his father. It's a gorgeous blonde woman glaring our way and yelling to Edward.

"Edward, let's go! I need to leave for work and Masen is getting impatient."

He's a married DILF.

Well still…

No!

What a scumbag! Hitting on your new neighbor while your wife gets your kid ready for school? I don't care how hot you are, that shit does not fly.

"No, Bella listen…"

Holy shit, I said that out loud?

"Um yeah, you did."

I need to get my brain-to-mouth filter checked.

Okay I didn't say that out loud…well it's a start.

"Goodbye Edward," I seethe with as much venom as I can muster before rolling up my window and taking off down the street, not giving him a chance to lie to my face.

The nerve of some guys! I hate men who think just because they're gorgeous, they can get away with anything they fucking want. That's why I left Phoenix. Edward Cullen reminds me of him.

He-who-shall-not-be-named. No, not Voldemort, but I like where your head's at. The whole lack of nose creepily reminds me of Michael Jackson. But I wouldn't mind Tom Riddle…you know, pre-Voldemort, cause damn that boy was fine as fuck in Half-Blood Prince.

As I pull up into the parking lot of Forks Elementary, I clear my mind of all things Harry Potter, hoping to get my mind frame right for my first day as a teacher. It doesn't work, and a thought hits me: What if his kid is in my class? I hadn't gotten that great of a look at his son, but from the blur I saw of him I'd say he could be a first grader. Okay, I hope he's at least a first grader. The thought of him being a kindergartener makes my stomach roll. There's only one class for each grade. Forks is a small town. I don't like my chances.

"Oh, Isabella, how lovely to see you dear." Mrs. Cope greets me with open arms. Throughout my entire elementary school years I'd tried to get Shelley Cope to call me Bella. She always refused, telling me that Isabella is a beautiful name. Apparently she hasn't changed her mind. I step into her hug and squeeze her tightly, glad to see a familiar face. "I'm so happy you decided to come home after school instead of staying in Phoenix. Was it hard finding an open position down there, or did you just miss the old man?" She gives me a kind and curious smile. I know she's not asking me to hurt me. How would she know that asking me about Phoenix would make me want to vomit?

I give her a small smile before answering. "The plan was to originally stay in Phoenix, but I just wanted to come home. I missed all of the rain," I joke and she laughs. "Plus I missed the Chief." I wink at her and she smiles. It's not a big secret that all of the ladies in Forks have the hots for my dad. Gross. Luckily he seems to be oblivious to it. "Have a good first day, Mrs. Cope. I'll see you later."

-o-

I'm kind of early, considering it's only half past six in the morning, and school doesn't start until eight, but I need the hour and a half to get my room prepared. I'd come in a few times this week to do all of the big work – hanging artwork, calendars, and repainting the cubby holes.

This morning's work load is a bit easier. I make my way to each tiny desk, setting down a name card and a special prize for each student. As I place down my last name card I come to a realization: no Masen. The thought both relieves and disappoints me all at once.

"Good morning boys and girls!" I say merrily to the classroom full of five year olds.

"Good morning Ms. Swan," they shout back at me.

"I would like to welcome you all to your first day of kindergarten. How about we give ourselves a round of applause for being so smart?" The class claps happily while looking proudly at their parents. "Can we all say goodbye to our Moms and Dads and tell them that we'll see them after school?" Some kids barely say goodbye to their parents, ready to face the new adventure of school; while others cry and cling to their loved ones, afraid of letting them go. Luckily it's only two of my fifteen kids that are having a hard time.

"Mackenzie, are you okay?" I say to the little girl clinging to her mother's leg. She shakes her head and bites her thumb. "What's wrong?" I ask calmly as she looks at her mother and then back to me. "I'm gonna miss my Mommy," she says quietly, not wanting the other kids to hear her.

"You know what? How about we make your Mommy a special surprise that she can get when she picks you up after school? Because you know in a few hours school will be over and you'll go home with your Mommy right?"

"I will?"

"That's right. You'll go home and then come back tomorrow so we can learn more things again." I assure her.

"And then my Mommy picks me up again? Every time?" she asks slowly, understanding sinking in.

"Yep," I wink at her and hold out my hand. She takes mine and releases her mother's. Her mom mouths a quiet "Thank you," before quietly stepping out of the room. "Mackenzie, can you help me cheer up Braden? I think he's sad that his Daddy is leaving. He doesn't understand either. Do you think we can help him?" She nods furiously and follows me to the little boy who is cutting off circulation to his poor father's hand.

"Hey Braden, do you think you can let Dad take off and get to work?" He shakes his head no. "Really? Because he has to go to work so he can buy you cool things for school." His father nods along. "What cool things?" Braden asks me as he wipes his nose on his sleeve. "Well…crayons and coloring books that you can use during free time to make him a special prize. See the paper Dad has? That's the list of things you'll need this year."

"I don't have those yet," he says sadly.

"That's okay, I do."

He looks at me hopefully. "I can use 'em?"

"Of course you can! I'm your teacher and they're for my classroom. And guess what? My classroom is your classroom! We'll make something great for Dad using all of the stuff I have that you can bring home to him tonight."

"Okay." He agrees and releases his father's hand. His father gives me a grateful smile and heads off to work.

"Okay boys and girls, I need everyone at their desks so we can have a very important talk. Can everyone touch their nose so I know you can hear me?" Fifteen fingers touch fifteen noses and I give them a big smile. "Wow, I have a great class this year, great listeners! Do you know that you all are a very special class?" They shake their heads. "Well you are...would you like to know why?" I ask and they all nod. "You're my very first class, so you're very special to me. Each and every one of you." They're all smiles and I'm about to go into my first day speech when I'm interrupted.

"Ahem," I hear followed by a cough behind me. Shit I know that voice. I memorized it easily, even though that voice has only said a few sentences to me, and even though all that voice said now was a small 'ahem'.

My body tingles and warms instantly.

I turn around slowly and am met with the very bright green eyes of Edward Cullen. I stand still and quickly take inventory of his perfection, unable to help myself. I take in his weird bronze hair that resembles a shiny new penny. His gorgeous green eyes that remind me of a forest. His perfect bone structure, complete with his perfectly sculpted chin that rivals that of David. But what catches my eye the most is his smug fucking smirk, and the tingles in my belly are replaced with fire as I let my anger take over to smolder out my desire for this stupid perfect man.

"Hello, Ms. Swan," he says as he pulls his son in front of him. Using your child as a shield? Pathetic, but effective. I say nothing to Edward smugface Cullen; instead I bend down and address his son. "Hello sweetheart, what's your name?" I ask even though I already know.

"M-Masen Anthony Cullen," he stutters out, shy and nervous. "Hello Masen, I'm Ms. Swan."

"Like the bird?" he asks and I laugh and nod. "That's right. You're smart huh?" He nods shyly and I hold out my hand. He easily takes it and follows me to the last empty desk. I sit him down and pat his head before making my way to the front of the room. I reach into my box of tricks and take out a name card, only acknowledging Edward once. "Do you spell his name with an E or an O?"

"E."

And I'm back to ignoring the fucker. "Okay Masen," I say as I approach his desk. "This is your name card," I say as I attach it to his desk. "Now I want you to pick a hand," I hold out both of my fists and he selects the right. "Here you go," I say holding my palm open and showing him a little giraffe toy. He smiles and takes it from me and I give him a wink before going back to the front of my room.

"Welcome to kindergarten!" I say brightly as sixteen pairs of eyes lock onto me. "We're going to have a lot of fun, and learn a lot of great stuff. Every day when you enter this classroom, I want you to make sure you have your thinking cap on. Can everyone put their thinking caps on? You do it like this," I say as I demonstrate putting on a fake hat and clasping a fake button under my chin.

I hear asshole snicker behind me, but I ignore it. "Very good! Now that everyone has on their thinking cap, we're going to have our very first lesson of the day. I want everyone in the first row to come up here and line up in front of my desk." The three students of the first row line up and wait for my next instruction. I pull out my first stack of pictures that match each child's toy precisely. "I want each of you to look through these pictures and select the one that matches your toy," I tell the three small kids in front of my desk. They do as I ask and select the correct pictures. I do this for the next three rows as well and just as I'm about to call up the next row, I remember that I now have sixteen students instead of fifteen. I don't want Masen to come up by himself and feel out of place.

I mentally bitch out Edward for showing up late and throwing off not only my entire lesson plan, but also my seating schedule. "Masen please come up with the last row as well." I add a picture of a giraffe to the other three pictures and he selects his animal correctly with a smile. As he heads back to the sixth row all alone, it tugs at my heart.

"Mr. Cullen," I turn around, not surprised that he's still standing there against the door, looking all too much like a runway model. He coughs and steps forward, "Yes, Ms. Swan?" I bite back the insult that I want to throw his way and smile sweetly. "Could you please bring me up a desk from the back and put it next to my desk here?" I ask pointing at the right side of my desk. He frowns but does as I ask.

"Masen, would you please come sit up here?" I ask as Edward places the desk down. He hurries toward me and whisper-yells in my ear. "Please do not take this out on my kid, I know you're pissed at me right now, but you're going to make him feel bad."

I give him a confused look, because that's what I am – fucking confused. "What are you fu-" I glare at him, because my hatred for this man almost caused me to curse in front of a room full of five year olds. I can't say anything else now because Masen is waiting patiently for instructions.

"Class," I address the room and Edward by raising an eyebrow at him. "This desk here is called the Dynamite Desk. Each morning a student will be picked to sit here for being dynamite. Can anyone tell me what dynamite means?" Masen raises his hand and I motion for him to speak. "Doesn't that mean it's an esplosion?" he asks sweetly.

"Explosion," I correct his tiny mistake but smile to let him know I'm impressed. "Very good, it can mean that. But in this case it means you're dynamite. That means you're so incredibly cool and awesome and smart, that you get to sit here today. I'll be looking throughout the day for my next dynamite student, so everyone make sure you give all of your effort today, okay?" There's an excited murmur amongst the students as they nod their heads.

I turn around to write on the chalkboard and see Edward staring at me, mouth agape; resembling some sort of sexy trout. "Mr. Cullen, we'll see you at 3." I dismiss him and begin writing the capital letters that match each animal toy on my chalkboard. When I'm done I look over and see that he's gone.

My heart drops into my stomach and I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me just from the lack of his presence.

I'm in trouble.


A/N: So…what do you guys think about Teacherella? She's kinda feisty eh? And what about Dadward? This idea has been in my head for a while, so I needed to get it out. It won't affect the posting of my other stories, don't worry. They'll both be up some time tomorrow with new chapters! Please let me know what you think! If there's enough reviews, I may post the second chapter tomorrow along with my other stories. ;)