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Session 3: Distractions and Conditions

"Do tell me, what's Lydia up to now? Something nasty I presume considering how you're awfully quiet." The man leans forward, his fingers laced together as he speaks to the sulking vampire. It's rare for Vincent to stay quiet when Lydia's gone and done something, his guess was that she might have actually broke up with him or called a child.

"…"

"I can't help you if you don't tell me Vincent-"

"That's so cliché." Vincent rolls his marble eyes. That was just like a therapist to say something like that!

"It's cliché for a reason Vincent." A smile.

Vincent frowns, he hates losing like this. "Fine. She brought something home the other day and I don't very much care for it!"

"Like a kitty cat?"

"A feline. No, not a feline. If it was a feline then I wouldn't mind so much. No…it's a ummmm…" More frowning. He finds himself a bit stuck, this hardly happens. It's difficult to explain though, this thing that she's brought home. "Horse of some sorts…."

"A horse? Horses are nice."

"Not this horse." No this horse is certainly not nice. In fact he dares to say that it's….nasty. Just nasty in general, he hates the damn thing! "Listen…"

"What in the hell is that thing doing in my yard…eating my carrots?" He couldn't believe and he certainly wasn't liking the fact that she was on top of the damn thing petting it like they're best friends. His arms cross in that 'I'm so not happy right now' way.

"Oh please you hate carrots." The thing lets out a neigh as if to agree with her before leaning down to dig it up and munch some more.

With each crunch he twitches. "That's not the point and you know it! That thing is in my yard eating my food supply and making itself very comfortable. I don't like it. Do. Not. Like. It. As my future wife we've agreed that you are to discuss important matters with me."

"It's not important really! I mean it's a horse…"

"Not important? You've been hypnotized by a horse with a horn on its head! If that isn't important then I don't know what is!" That little vixen.

Unicorns, they say that they have the power to bless people and bring happiness onto the world. All Vincent sees when he looks at them is a broken lawn mower that poops everywhere and takes up space.

Needless to say he wants it gone…now.

"Calm down she's cute. Right Coco?"

Coco…great she's gone and named it Coco of all things! "Lydia-"

"It's staying." They lock eyes and a magical battle goes on between them. One that she's clearly winning but he's stubborn. If the damn thing is to stay then it will be staying on his terms. These terms are not negotiable.

"It stays in the back yard and the first time I step in crap then it's gone. Capiche?"

"That's such an odd little word." She snickers. Coco nuzzles into her open palm happy to have settled this matter. And that ends the matter.

At least he shares his hatred with another being in the household. "I wanted a lizard."

"Haven't I already told you to go look in the mirror?" Vincent smirks, the fairy glares back at him. The horse is something that he can't deal with; Alexandria is something he certainly can. "When you're older I'll get you a lizard-"

"I'll kill you with this spoon!" She shouts lunging at him with the spoon she had been using to eat pudding with. "Vampires are always so arrogant!"

He hardly has to move to avoid her tiny little body. She's cute the way her blue hair flies after her as she tries to hit him. To think that she's actually trying to land a hit on him! Hilarious! All he'd have to do is take her by her pretty little hair and tie her to a flag post or something.

"Now, now Alexandria be nice to your father." Lydia hoists herself down from the black beauty. She's in no hurry to leave her majestic friend but the neighbors could be watching, time to put on airs. "All mommy has ever wanted is for you two to get along."

"There is no being nice to that." Alexandria snarls. She shoves her spoon in one of her large red pockets. Arguing with Lydia is never any fun, especially while she's acting.

"Likewise you little demon." Lately Alexandria has been his source of entertainment. Lydia has been holed up in her little room mixing elixirs and practicing her magic, it's really quite boring but there can be worse people to have to rely on.

Lydia is far more entertaining.

"MY HAIR IS NOT HAY YOU GOD FORSAKEN THING-OWWWW!" Despite how funny it is hearing that from him, this is probably one of the worst experiences in Vincent's long lived life. Never has he ever had his beautiful golden hair been chomped on by a bloody horse! "Useless animal!" Vincent waves his arms about trying to get the animal to let go.

"Coco, let go of the waving vamp-"

"Eat him! Eaaat hiiiiiiiim!" Alexandria whoops.

Lydia sighs, she snaps her fingers once and the unicorn let's go. Naturally Vincent scrambles away from the damn beast. He hates it even more now. "I want it gone! Now!"

"I don't remember 'eating my hair' being one of your criteria's. Coco is staying!"

She really doesn't ask for much, so he hates having to tell her no but this thing was just unacceptable. It's already proven that this relationship is clearly not going to work. Never. "No-"

"Oh please! Oh pretty pleeeeeaseeeee." She wraps her arms around his waist and buries the side of her head in his abs. Snuggling close; he can feel his entire body go tense as her pleas vibrate through him. It's very distracting.

"I…I guess." He scratches her head as she 'yippees' and pecks his cheek before prancing off to comb the beast's mane.

"You're pathetic." Alexandria snorts before heading inside to do God knows what.

He couldn't agree more.


Guess who got a Unicorn? I got one and was like 'yaaaaay...how do you take care of a horse?'

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