Rating: T for m/m kissing and a heart broken Dwight
Warnings: M/m kissing
Pairing: Jim/Pam, Jim/Dwight moments and hints at more.
Summary: Takes place during "Money". Jim goes to comfort Dwight, but instead of leaving before Dwight reaches for him he is still there and things go a little unexpected.
Author's Note: In the commentary Rainn (who plays Dwight) mentions that it was the director's idea for him to reach for Jim, and another commenter asked how close they would have gotten if Jim hadn't left… I'm happy to try to answer that :)
Jim edged a little closer, helplessly watching Dwight. He had his face pressed against the wall, face twisted as he tried to stop crying. He had never told anyone that stuff about Pam, had kept it all inside and hid it away the best he could. He had no idea what had possessed him to tell Dwight. Dwight, of all people. Except that as ridiculous as it was Dwight was probably his best friend… his longest friend for sure, and in the years he had known him he had never seen him break like this.
Suddenly he wasn't his annoying desk mate, his obnoxious co-worker, his competition in sales… he was a person. A person in a lot of pain and he wished there was something he could say, something he could do that could make it better.
He was surprised when Dwight turned, reaching out for him. He thought about pulling away, he wasn't sure how comfortable he was with such close physical conflict, but he couldn't do it. He didn't want to pull away, not if it would make him feel better. Dwight fisted his hand in Jim's jacket, and he seemed to be crying harder, but that was all he did. Just held off a distance, desperately grabbing onto Jim, and whimpered out, "Please."
"Dwight?" Dwight's body shifted, a silent desperate plea for more contact. When nothing happened Dwight started to look embarrassed and let go, pulling away. Jim caught his arm before he could turn back against the wall and yanked him forward until they were pressed together.
It wasn't smooth, Dwight was a big guy and it took some maneuvering for him to be able to bury his face against Jim's shoulder, and it was nothing like holding Pam. "Ah.. do you…" He was looking down at him and glanced up at the camera, giving them a dirty look that they were still filming. "Uh…" It was like Dwight had zero sense of self, when he was upset he just put it all out on the line.
He was sprawled half on the floor, half on to Jim, their legs tangled together and finally Jim could only put his arms around him, holding him there while he cried. He really wanted the cameras to go, he knew they were always around, always filming, but it was just cruel to film Dwight this way.
He rubbed his arm, trying to be soothing and it was only how very different from holding a woman that made the whole thing plausible. "Hey, Dwight, really…" He finally gave up trying to talk to him and just shook his head at the absurdity of the situation. He wasn't sure how long they were there, and he wondered why nobody came to look for them.
They stayed there until the crying had tapered off even though Dwight made no attempt to move. Jim was just starting to wonder if he should do something when Dwight was talking, "Do you… do you hate me?"
His first inclination was to say yes. He didn't mean it, true, but it had been part of their dynamic for so long that he actually had to take a moment. Dwight took the pause the wrong way and started to pull back, "Like I even care-"
"No. I don't hate you."
Dwight pulled back to look at Jim's face, suspicious, not sure if he was being serious or not. His eyes were intense, as he tried to read Jim's, their faces nearly touching. He didn't know what Dwight wanted, he could only tell that he desperately wanted something.
So he was caught completely off guard when Dwight closed the distance between him and was kissing him. He could have pushed him off, he was sure he could have, but Dwight was whimpering into the kiss and something about that made it impossible. He did put one hand up to his face, he thought maybe to stop him, but when he touched his cheek it was still wet from the tears and instead he used the touch to tilt Dwight's head, deepening the kiss.
He seemed confused that Jim didn't push him away and let himself be maneuvered to where Jim wanted, readily opening his mouth to him. Without his consent his other hand was gripping the arm of Dwight's shirt, holding him there and he had no idea what he was doing. Dwight shifted his weight, the new position leaving him straddling Jim's leg and everything came into clear focus when he realized Dwight was hard.
He pulled back abruptly at that, grasping what he was doing. As soon as he did Dwight tightened his grip, though he was too close to read the look on his face and whimpered, "Please… please I'm sorry."
He pushed him backwards with one hand to the shoulder, trying to think. "I don't… why did you do that?"
He had no answer, looking for all the world like he did when Jim caught him off guard and without a comeback, though he was shaking his head desperately.
"Dwight I'm not… I'm dating Pam…"
"I know! I didn't … I'm sorry." His eyes snapped to the camera, his face horrified, and he looked back to Jim, "I'm sorry… please…"
Jim pressed against him a little more solidly and Dwight eased back more as he tried to gather his thoughts, "I… I gotta tell Pam."
"No, Jim, no. Please don't." Jim was already pushing to his feet and Dwight scrambled to his knees to grab at his coat, trying to stop him, "Please Jim."
He reached down to untangle his hands and somehow ended up holding his wrists, "Well… I'm definitely telling Pam."
"So you guys can laugh at me?"
His eyes were red and he tried to pull a hand away from Jim to wipe his face but Jim held strong and Dwight didn't push. "I'm gonna tell her because I just kissed someone besides her. You understand?" Jim waited a moment to see how he was going to respond and hesitantly let his arms go.
He dropped his head in defeat and let his hands fall to his sides. "Fine." It was bitter, hurt and he nearly crumbled back down to the floor, tears starting again.
"Hey, no." He grabbed Dwight's jaw, making him look up. "I'm not going to… She won't find it funny Dwight. I don't find it funny." Looking down at Dwight he had a moment where he felt almost disoriented and his thumb slid across his cheek, "I uh… it's gonna be okay Dwight." His lips looked red, swollen, and it took Jim a moment to meet his eyes, "After work tonight… let me take you out for a beer. We can… talk."
"Okay? Just like that?" Dwight nodded but didn't move and Jim gave him a tug to pull him to his feet. "I don't think you've ever agreed to anything that easily."
"I'm not gay."
"Honestly Dwight, I don't think you are." He awkwardly patted him on the shoulder, "I'm gonna head back, why don't you take a minute to calm down and I'll see you there?"
Dwight nodded and Jim left him there to pull himself together and headed straight back to the office on a mission. He made a beeline for Pam and ignored her question to grab her and pull her in close for a kiss. A real kiss and it was a moment before he pulled back, matching her grin.
She looked a little dazed and he didn't want to ruin the moment by telling her what happened with Dwight. He almost let it go, but seeing how wrecked Dwight was at losing Angela was an eye opener, and he just wouldn't risk it.
He gave her hand a little tug towards the break room, "I need to talk to you."
She knew him well enough to recognize the tone and her face fell, "What?"
He nodded again towards the break room, "Come on." He made sure he softened his tone, he didn't want to worry her and the camera followed eagerly. When they had relative privacy he tried to think of how exactly to explain what happened.
"Jim, you're worrying me. Just say it."
"Dwight kissed me."
There was silence for a long time and she finally managed, "What?"
"I was… hugging him and he asked if I hated him and I said no and … and he kissed me." He could have left it at that, it was the truth but he couldn't help adding, "I kissed him back. I don't know why."
"Oh." She didn't look angry, only kind of confused, "I didn't… do you like him?"
"No, not like that. He was so hurt and I just- no, I love you and have no interest in any guys, it just happened. Please understand Pam."
"I kissed Dwight once."
It was the last response he had expected and he took his time answering, "You and Dwight?"
"No, not like that. When you came back with Karen, at the luau… I was so heartbroken. He found me crying and he didn't have to stay but he did and I kissed him."
"So… we've both kissed Dwight?"
It was a moment that could have been detrimental for their relationship but it ended up just seeming bizarre. "I guess so."
Jim pushed down the urge to ask her if she liked it because she might ask back and he wasn't ready to answer that. She was still talking though, "He didn't kiss me back. Said he wasn't interested in me that way." Her smile was mischievous and he was reminded why he loved her so much, "Guess you're more his type."
He scoffed, uncomfortable for some reason and shook his head. He was going to say something funny back, hoping to lighten the tension when he remembered, "I'm going to take him out for a beer tonight."
It had been going so well he was surprised when something flashed in her eyes at that, worry, and he realized maybe she was more upset that he had thought. She covered it quickly though, "Okay."
"That's fine, have a good time."
"Pam." She looked at him and the worry was clear in her eyes now, "You know I'm not gay Pam."
"Yea of course." He knew her too well, she couldn't hide it and he gave her a look to let her know that. She let out a gust of air, "I don't know, okay? You and Dwight just have this weird relationship."
"We do not have a relationship. I play pranks on him and sit next to him at work, that is what you are basing this idea on?"
She really wished the cameras weren't there and shrugged, "And Bobby Taylor pulled my pig tails in 3rd grade because he liked me."
"Pam, come on."
"I don't think you want to … date him or anything. You two just… I'm not saying that I don't trust you or that I think you would do anything with him. I know he's your best friend-"
"Woah, hold on there. My best friend? You think Dwight is my best friend?"
She rolled her eyes, "Of course he is."
"You're my best friend."
It caught her off guard and she smiled, "Besides me." She met his eyes and made sure she was serious, "Go out and have your beers, he is obviously hurting pretty bad and really needs a friend." She gave him a pointed look, "His best friend. I'm really not worried, it just caught me off guard."
"Are you sure?" Tentatively he tried to pull her into a hug, relieved when she didn't resist. "You can come too if you like."
"No, go out, cheer him up. I trust you."
He ducked down a bit, trying to make sure he caught her eyes, "Are you sure?"
She did seem to relax, realizing that it was ridiculous to be worried about Jim and Dwight. "Yes. Have a good time."
He nodded and leaned forward to kiss her, a chaste peck against her lips, and they headed back out. They had just settled in when Dwight came in, determined and face blank though he stumbled when he saw Pam. His mask fell a little at that, looking worried, but she gave him a reassuring smile. His gaze darted to Jim and back to her before he averted his eyes, heading to his desk.
It was awkward, and Jim weighed his option before leaning forward, "It's fine. I told her, everything is fine."
"Like… like I care." Except he obviously did if the relief on his face was anything to go about. "Are we still…"
"If you want."
"Can I invite Michael?"
That… that physically pained him. Dwight was looking at him hopefully and maybe it would be better with more people there, "Yea, sure. Of course."
It seemed to cheer him up and moments later he was rewarded by his files being shoved off his desk. The files that were apparently overlapping onto Dwight's desk. Dwight gave him a look daring him to say something, but he only smiled. God help him that it cheered him up to see Dwight obnoxious.