Chapter song: Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
A/N: When I read back the last two chapters I found some spelling mistakes, I'm sorry about that, but as you might know English isn't my native language, so sometimes It's kind of hard to see those mistakes. Anyways, I really hope you like chapter three, from Emily's point of view as promised.
Emily sighed as she tossed her phone away. She wanted to see Paige so badly tomorrow, she had missed the girl. As much as she tried to push away the girl, to just let go of her, Paige was right. And she didn't wanna lose her. Even though everything was alright between them, she wasn't so sure if that would stay that way anymore. She knew how Paige's parents were like, and they definitly would make it hard on her, on them. And with Paige still gone from school and swim practice there weren't many places they could meet.
How could everything be so screwed up, she thought. Finally she had given in to all those feelings. She knew how she felt about Paige, but for a while she kept fighting them back, because she thought that it wasn't fair towards Maya. And even though she hadn't seen Paige for a while, didn't mean she had stopped thinking about her once in a while. When Paige was afraid to come out yet, she knew the right thing to do was to just let go of her, because she knew that Paige needed the time alone to think about herself, her feelings, she didn't want to push her into things she wasn't ready for yet. And Paige had come out, she had changed, a lot. But it seemed that whenever she was happy something or someone came along and destroyed it.
She picked up her phone again and read the message Hanna had wrote just a hour a go. If she was free next friday and could come to see Caleb with her. She really wanted to see both Hanna and Caleb. The only time she really saw her friends, was on school. After school she was either busy with homework or swim practice. They all were, busy. Things really had changed after that night. Neither of them got any text messages from A. Yet.
That Friday Emily was up early. All she really wanted to do now was to just go for a swim. Diving through the water alone. There was something about the silence, when she was out there alone, she found confortable. She had a lot to think about lately, she hadn't seen or talk to Paige since last week. She tried calling her a thousend times, but it seemed that Paige's phone was off, which was strange because Paige phone is always on. And even though she spend all day swimming and all night styding, her only focus was only really on Paige. She was worried, but couldn't do anything about it. She hated that feeling.
As she dressed up comfortably and ate a quick breakfast she drove her way to Hanna's house. She was kind of excited to see Caleb after a long time again. He wasn't fully recovered yet, but he was fine. It had hurt her seeing Caleb getting shot by Nate just before he died, and then the look on Hanna's face.
''Hey there.'' Hanna greeted as she hugged Emily. ''I though maybe we could first go to Caleb and then go to the Brew later?''
''Yeah, sure.'' Emily said.
Hanna shot her a short look, there was something about Emily's words that made her certain that something was wrong, but she would ask Emily later.
As Emily drove them to Caleb's house, Hanna was her usual self, talking about the latest gossips, fashion trends and all that.
''Have you received a text from A already?'' She asked at some point.
''No. I mean, not yet.'' Emily replied. But just because she hadn't received a text yet, didn't mean she wouldn't jump everything her phone beeped. ''Have you?''
''Nope. Not yet.'' Hanna said.
Later that day Emily ordered two coffee's at The Brew.
''So what's on your mind?'' Hanna asked as Emily handed her the coffee and sat down next to her.
''Nothing, really.'' Emily said. It wasn't that she didn't wanted to tell Hanna, but there was so much on her mind, that she honestly didn't know where to start. Besides that, she didn't really wanna bother Hanna with all her problems, Caleb was still not his old self, and she knew Hanna had a lot on her mind herself.
''Hey, I saw something was up the minute you walked in. Tell me.'' Hanna said.
Emily sighed, Hanna knew her all too well. ''It's just that, I haven't seen Paige for a while, because of her parents, who still blame me for all this. Can't blame them though but..''
''No, No. Em.'' Hanna interrupted. ''None of this is your fault. It's Nate, or Lydon or whatever his name was, fault. You were still sad about Maya's dead, and then there he was, Maya's cousin. You couldn't know that he would turn out to be a crazy stalker.''
''But it is. You know, he thought he made a chance with me, because I kissed him back. It is all my fault.'' Emily said as she took a deep breath to stop herself from crying. She lost track of counting all the times she fought hard to keep the tears from coming. Most of the time she just gave in, and let them keep coming and coming. Mostly at night, where all the memories would come back one by one. Not only from that night, but all the memories. All the things that had happend over the past couple of months. She tried so hard to be the strong one, but in reality she was, just as A one told her, the weak one.
Hanna took a sip from her coffee. Keeping herself from making a judgmental comment, Emily thought. She couldn't blame the girl. At that very moment it didn't felt wrong to kiss Nate, maybe she had just needed it, something close to Maya. But it didn't made her question her feelings for Paige, or for girls in general. It was a kiss, and it felt right, but nothing more than that.
''Oh that's why I had to tell him that you're gay, the other day. He kept like talking about you.'' Hanna said instead. ''Have you talked about this with Paige already?''
''Yes, she knows about the kiss, and I told her that it didn't change my feelings for her. I mean, It didn't change my feelings.'' Emily said.
''But have you talked about that night?'' Hanna asked.
''Not really, but, I don't think we ever really get the chance.'' Emily replied.
Hanna stood up. ''I have an idea.''
''What do you mean?'' Emily asked confused.
''I'm not letting you lose her too Em, I know you love her, plus I still owe you both.'' Hanna said.
''No wait, you don't owe me anything, Hanna.'' Emily said as she stood up herself.
''Well, I kind of really do. On the relationship area. Come on, I thought Paige was A too, an that was unfair. Seriously, don't worry Em, I got this. '' Hanna said.
Two hours later Emily heard a knock on her door.
''That took long. What did you do?'' Emily asked as she opened the door for Hanna.
''Well, I spoke to Paige..'' Hanna began as she sat down on Emily's bed. ''Tomorrow you two will meet at wright's playground.''
''Wait, but how? I mean, what about her parents.'' Emily asked.
''I just told them that I was that girl from your swim team. Ehm, Pru it was. Well, I just asked them if Paige and I could go swimming tomorrow.'' Hanna said with a proud smile. ''They believed it right away.''
Even though Emily found it weird how easy that was for Hanna, she didn't care, atleast she finally got the chance to see Paige again. ''Thank you Han.'' Emily smiled.
The next day Emily woke up with a smile. She was positive that this could all work out. If Paige's parents finally let her leave the house alone, maybe they could try to meet up more, and try to get through this. Her parents would have to accept their relationship at some point, right.
She decided to take her bike instead of taking her car. She knew she was early but given wright's playground was still a long ride, she would be there just in time. The last time she was there was at Camp Mona, what now seemed as ages ago. She was glad that they would meet up in the morning instead of night though, the place still gave her the creeps.
When she finally arrived Paige was already on the swings busy with her phone while listing to music loudly. Emily smiled but felt also a sad feeling in her stomach. It was the band Paige had wanted her to take with on a date, but she had felt dissapointed back then, that Paige wanted to drag some boy along with them, so people wouldn't think it was a date, so in the end they both hadn't gone.
''Hey.'' Paige said softly as she looked up. ''You came here by bike huh. I'm impressed Fields.'' She smirked.
Emily raised an eyebrow. ''Wow, that really makes it sound like I'm lazy.'' Emily smiled as she sat down on the swings next to Paige. ''I'm glad we finally could meet.''
''Yeah, thanks to Hanna. Seriously I still have no idea how she convinced my parents so fast. I'm trying that my whole life. And still trying. '' Paige joked as she slipped her phone in her pocket.
''I called you a thousend times this week.''
''I'm sorry but my father took my phone and all. He gave it back to me this morning so I could call when I will come back at home. I just saw all the missed calls and text messages.'' Paige explained.
Emily kind of figured that out, but she just wanted to make sure Paige wasn't ignoring her all that time. Which she knew was a ridiculous thought.
''It kind of feels like we're back at the start again. Hiding in the middle of nowhere, not to be seen together. I hate it.'' Paige sighed.
Emily nodded in silence as she took Paige's hand. ''But this time, this is not gonna break us apart.''
Paige sat a little bit straigher, while she focussed on the ground. She wasn't ready to face Emily yet. She didn't doubt Emily, but she really wanted to make sure. ''Emily, I know this is kind of imposible, trying to hide this relationship for my parents. For people who might see and tell. But I'm willing to do all this, but are you? I don't doubt you, I really don't. But if you rather be with someone you can be seen with, I understand that, and..'' Paige began.
''I don't want to be with someone other than you Paige. Look, I know this is going to be hard, but we've been through a lot already, and I know that it's worth it. You are worth it. And eventually we have to face your parents, and we will.'' She said as she stood up and stood infront of Paige.. ''I'm not giving up on you.'' She took her hand and gently squeezed it. ''So, in the mean time, we will try to meet places like this and make it work.''
''Our dirty little secret huh?'' Paige smirked.
Emily laughed. ''Yeah.'' she said while she sat down on Paige's lap.
Paige opened her mouth to say something but Emily's soft lips were already on hers. After some soft kisses Paige slides her tongue over Emily's bottom lip asking for acces, while pulling her closer.
They break apart the intensive kisses after a couple of minutes, both breathless. ''Wow.'' Emily smiled and kissed Paige's forhead.
A beeping tone from Emily's phone brought them back to reality again. Emily sighed, not wanting to ruin their moment.
''What's wrong Em?'' Paige asked, when she saw Emily's shocked expression.
Emily turned her phone so Paige could read what the text said.
Oh oh, you know I'm always watching. Secrets are never safe with me. - A