Comfort – Add on to anger Management
Disclaimer - I own nothing.
She opened the door slowly; she didn't feel like company, she felt like curling up into a ball and ignoring the world for a while. She felt like feeling sorry for herself, and crying, pretty much what she had been doing all evening. She'd ignored the calls and let it divert to voicemail, she'd read the texts but didn't respond to them. They meant well, they all meant well, but right now the only company she wanted was her own, but whoever was the other side of her front door was bloody insistent and wouldn't go away. She looked through the spy whole on the door; desperately trying not to make a sound, but when she saw who it was she knew damn well he wasn't going to leave.
She opened the door slowly, not wide enough to let him in, just wide enough to speak to him. "Boyd?" She said sounding distinctly unimpressed. "What do you want?"
"I thought I'd see if you were okay, you've had a tough couple of days, I just wanted to check."
"Well thanks, I'm fine though." She went to close the door but was stopped by his hand preventing it. "Boyd I really don't feel like company right now." The emotion in her voice was clearly evident before she got to the end of the sentence.
"What do you feel like?"
"Being alone, so please will you just go." This time it wasn't just emotion in her voice, she was crying.
Boyd pushed back the door, and she put up no resistance to him, he put his arms around her and gently held her, closing the door behind him. "It's okay Frankie, it's okay." He spoke gently to her, putting one hand against the nape of her neck and soothing her softly, the other hand placed on her back, and he held her as she cried, eventually she placed her arms around him and held on to him, grateful for the comfort he was giving her, comfort she needed so much, but was too proud and too stubborn to ask for. She buried her head into his chest and sobbed as his fingers tried to gently stroke the tension from her neck. As she eventually pulled away he placed his hand against her face. "Better?"
"Not really, now I just feel stupid."
"You're my boss Boyd."
"Well hopefully I'm your friend too."
"You know what I mean."
"Why don't we sit down and talk about this."
"This whole caring sharing Boyd is becoming a bit scary you know."
"Why?" He said following her as she walked back into her lounge.
"Because it's not you, you're a shouter, a swearer, I'm not saying it's wrong, but it's what we're used to."
"Frankie someone broke into our lab and scared the living daylights out of you, what sort of boss, no actually what sort of person would I be if I didn't give a shit?"
"I know you care, we all know you care, but you care in your way, and to be honest it's never been the group hugs type of care has it?"
"But this is different."
"Because I could see how scared you were, and it made me feel….."
"Made you feel what?"
Boyd fidgeted awkwardly in his seat. "I don't know, responsible in a way, and guilty."
"Why do you need to feel guilty, it wasn't your fault."
"I felt guilty because I shouted at you, because I accused you of not locking up properly, because you were too scared to tell me what really happened."
"That's not true, I lied because I felt like I should have done more to stop him, not because I was afraid of you."
"You're not a police officer Frankie, you're a scientist, you don't have the training to deal with something like this, and you shouldn't feel in anyway responsible for what happened."
"Well thank you, I'm not sure it makes any difference to the way I feel."
"So tell me how you feel."
"Tell me how you feel, talk to me about it."
Frankie smiled nervously, "I can't."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because it's you, and it, well it just feels…weird I guess."
"I am going to go and make a coffee, and when I return you'd better start talking Frankie, because I'm not leaving till you do."
Boyd walked back into the lounge with two coffees, and handed one to her, he nodded his head at the mess of cables and equipment around her TV. "What happened there?"
"My Mum, she came round to set something to record for me, but it isn't working, and I kind of lost my temper when I tried to sort it out."
"Do you want me to sort it out for you?"
"It's fine, I can do it."
"Yeah I know you can, I was just offering a hand." Before she could reply he was on his hands and knees in front of her TV. "Ah, that's your problem, one of you scart leads has a dodgy plug, have you got a spare?"
"No, I'll get another one when I'm out shopping."
"Well I can fix this one for now, okay?"
He looked over his shoulder at her a smiled. "There all sorted." He stacked everything back neatly as it should have been, and stood back up.
"You're welcome, now, where were we?"
"In my sitting room."
"I think you were about to start talking about your feelings, about how you felt after what happened."
"God this feels like torture."
"Because it's you, it's like trying to talk about sex with my Dad."
"We could talk about sex if you'd rather."
"I said we could…."
"Yeah I heard, I just wasn't sure I'd got it right."
"I was kidding Frankie." His eyes met hers and held her gaze for what seemed like forever, he slowly leant forward.
Frankie pulled away hurriedly. "What are you doing?"
"Well, I was going to kiss you."
"Because I wanted to."
"But, why did you want to, you don't have to try and make me feel better Boyd, not in that way."
"Contrary to popular belief Frankie, I am in fact human, and a man and I fancy the pants off you. There is that plain enough for you."
She tried desperately to try and supress the little giggle that was trying to escape her lips, but it just turned into that smile, the impish one that did it for him every time. "Are you serious?" She said in a quiet voice.
This time it was Frankie that leant forward and placed her lips gently to his, it was soft and gentle, even when it became more heated it still remained soft and gentle, every kiss, every touch, and every stroke was soft and tender and gentle. He was in bed, the complete opposite of what he was in everyday life, and lying in his arms after they'd made love she couldn't help but smile as that thought went through her mind.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked noticing her smile.
"Nothing really, oh except what a big soppy pussy cat you are."
"Don't spread it around; I have a hard earned reputation as a bastard to uphold."
"My lips are sealed." She replied and kissed him, he linked his fingers through hers as they lay together.
"Were you scared?"
"What of you?"
"No idiot, at work, when he attacked you?"
She laid her head against his chest, not wanting him to look into her eyes. "I'm okay."
"I didn't ask you how you are; I asked if you were frightened." He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her head to look into her eyes.
"I was terrified; I thought he was going to hurt me, or worse."
"See, it isn't difficult is it."
"Talking about how you feel." His hand moved from her chin to her face, his thumb stroking her cheek.
"I hate it; it makes me feel weak and vulnerable."
"We're all weak and vulnerable against people like him, but the main thing is you weren't hurt, you're okay, physically at least, but you need to talk to someone about it, Grace maybe, or someone professional."
"Don't give me any of that I'm okay crap Frankie, you're not, I could see it when you opened the door, you were in bloody tears."
"Maybe I just wanted a big strong man to hold me."
"I'll hold you any time you want me to."
"Do you mean that?"
"This isn't just a one off thing then, we're not going to get back to work and forget all about it."
"Not unless you want to."
"Oh I definitely don't want to, I just didn't know if…if it was allowed you know."
"I don't know how we'll deal with work, but I know I don't want this to be a one off, but promise me something will you."
"That you'll speak to someone, about what happened."
"Okay, I promise."
"Good, now do you have any food in your kitchen, because I have built up quite an appetite?"
"So have I, but what I want isn't in the kitchen." Frankie started to kiss down his chest, giggling as she disappeared beneath the duvet.