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Eric stood outside of Alan's door wishing he would talk to him. Ever since they got back inside the house Alan went to lie on his bed wanting to be alone. He didn't want to see him like this. He had no reason to be. He wished he hadn't learned the truth like this but maybe it was better this way. Besides just because he knew didn't mean it was going to happen. Maybe it was better this way, maybe now they could prevent that from happening together.
"Al, please." Opening the door he saw Alan curled up on top of the sheets. This had gone on long enough.
"I just want to be alone Eric."
Going to the bed he sat on the edge before placing a hand on Alan's side.
"I don't like seeing you like this. I won't let it happen. Please believe me."
"I know." Rolling to face Eric he tried to wipe his eyes with his sleeve. "That's what I am afraid of."
"What are you talking about?"
"Eric." Sitting up Alan took Eric's hand into his own. He loved this man, he knew Eric loved him but what he was slated to do, he couldn't even handle the thought. "I don't care if I die. It's knowing you would go to such lengths to save me that frightens me. You should know me well enough by now to know I would never want that."
"And you should know that I can't live without you."
"Eric, I." Why didn't he get it? This is what bothered him.
"Alan. You should know. You're what makes this life something for me. Alive all I wanted to do was be with you, help you see the world. Here, this eternal life, I, I'm being selfish I know but you make it bright."
Alan opened his mouth only to close it a second later. Eric, he had known him since they were children, then how come he felt like he never knew him. He kept so much locked away.
"Al, after coming here, after seeing just how my new life would be it I hated it. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want an eternal life. When I saw you were slated to die I jumped at the chance to bring you here, for us to be together and maybe I wouldn't feel so alone. I was only here a few years before you got here and it seemed like a life time already."
"Eric. Do your regret being here?" It was a question he had always wanted to ask but never wanted to push Eric to answer. Seeing the look in his eyes he already got his answer.
"Eric. Talk to me." Taking his hand in his own he held them tightly wishing he would speak to him.
"We aren't exactly asked if this is the life we want to lead, this isn't a life. We have this world so we can hate the fact that we are Gods of Death a little less and we can forget the fact that we are only here to end the lives of others. That is no life."
"Why have you never told me this before?"
"There isn't anything to tell. Alan, when I saw your future, I don't know when it will happen but I won't let it happen."
"I don't want that. Eric please. Promise me you won't do anything like that. Whatever happens to me I'm fine with but I don't want you hurting anyone. That isn't you. I'm not worth it."
"But you are! Alan you are worth everything to me. I don't want to live in this world without you."
Alan stopped as he felt his tears welling up in his eyes. While the thought of knowing he meant so much to someone was indescribable he didn't feel worth such sacrifices.
"Then how about this? You and me, we will work together to make sure that book changes. And you will start talking to me about everything, alright?"
"I love you Alan. You know that right?"
Eric pulled Alan into his arms happy to have him there. He never wanted to let him go, never before did he think he needed someone in his life the way he needed Alan, but he did.
Together they laid down on Alan's bed to rest for the night, Eric holding tightly onto Alan with no desire to ever change this. Alan felt better knowing Eric was going to talk to him more but the thought of what Eric would do still haunted him. Eric had always been a trouble maker and a liar when they were growing up and while nothing he did ever harmed anyone that didn't mean he wouldn't do something now. That didn't mean he just said what he just to put him at ease. He knew Eric; he knew what lengths he would go to for something.
The next morning Eric woke up before Alan for a change and made breakfast for them. It wasn't the best thing to do for him but rarely was he able to do this. Usually Alan was up, showered, dressed, and had breakfast ready before he was even up. He couldn't make much since they had to go shopping but they had enough for a meal of some sort. Hearing Alan come into the kitchen he smiled over his shoulder at him seeing he had just woken up.
"You're making breakfast?"
"I am. Sleep well?"
"I want to make it up to you for last night. Let's not focus anymore on what that book says, whatever happens, happens, no dwelling and no worrying, alright?"
"Alright. That sounds good." Moving closer to the stove he looked around Eric to see what he was cooking. It smells good."
"Thanks, scones? Is this what it's called?"
"No, pancakes." Kissing his cheek he moved to the cabinet to grab plates for them so they could eat.
"So I noticed your still in your pajamas."
"I woke up smelling food and since I'm off I don't feel like rushing."
"Are you feeling okay? Is this my Alan?" Grabbing the frying pan he pulled the pancakes from the skillet to place on the platter so he could make more.
"Oh you're so funny."
Once dressed and ready they decided they went shopping for food and hang out together. Days off together seemed few and far in between so when they happened they jumped at the chance.
"So Ronald, he wants to do a group date with some woman from the other department. He wants us to go with him."
"I thought you went to one the other night? The night I worked later?"
"Yea, that was more just drinking than anything else. But it might be nice to do this. We haven't gone out on a date in a long time it feels like."
"We could. But I don't know, Ronald's idea of a date and our idea I think are very different." They both knew Ronald was a drinker, nothing serious but he loved to go out and have drinks with people, sort of like Eric. Only Eric liked to drink alone and never drank heavily. Alan couldn't recall a time when he saw Eric wasted; they both saw Ronald on the tipsy side before.
"That boy is crazy, he makes me feel old. He is only at most five years younger than me."
"Well he was from a higher class, who know how they really lived."
"True. So you want to do it? Want to go on a group date with him."
"Sure. Why not."
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Writers block has kicked my butt. This chapter started out good but then it hit and it hit hard. So I'll end it here. I just want to let everyone know that I am doing Camp NaNoWriMo which is on Monday so this story may go on a break while I work on that. I am hoping not leave it for a full month but just in case you know why. Hopefully the next time you see an update from me it will be good chapter, one that I hate less. Love you all,