A/N: Alright so...in the end it was all pretty evenly divided. Many of you wanted a sequel, but many of you wanted me to continue also. Some of you suggested I make one more chapter before the sequel. I have decided to follow you guys' advice. This is, therefore, this story's last chapter.

HOWEVER, the sequel shall be up, as always, by next week and maybe, since I'm already on summer break I can post it even sooner than that so...keep checking.

I had trouble deciding the sequel's name...I wanted to name it "Remember Me" (lol. Loved the movie, even though I cried) at first but since I'd already named this Big Time Decisions, following the series' naming pattern I decided in the end to keep it that way.

The sequel, therefore, shall be named "Big Time Reminiscence" (lol. Fancy word for "memory"). Don't miss it!

As always, thank you to all my wonderful reviewers!






-Nuria de Maslow



-4ever with Kames


-luke rusherboy



Whew! Long list...see why I'm so motivated right now? Thanks you guys! You ROCK!

Alrighty, this author's note WAY too long already so,

Enjoy the chapter!



PS. Who else loved "Big Time Cameos"? I thought it was hilarious! Kendall was such a bad boy... "I'll tell you what our next move is...I'm gonna kick your-" (alarm goes off) lol. Seriously though I noticed two things...1) what's with all the Kenlos lately? and 2) All members of BTR have a tendency to cross dress in the show, hmm...gets my inner writer thinking about thousands of different...dirty...scenarios. Lol, okay, moving on!

Ch.42: Lost

Kendall ran out of the room, down the stairs, and finally out the entrance door...out of the hospital.

And still, he continued running...

He ran and ran until his lungs were screaming from the effort it took for him to breathe, his legs burning to the point where the pain had turned into a strange numbness.

And still he continued running...

He ran past the crowded street, with cars zooming in from all directions. Several drivers screeched to a stop when they saw Kendall, barely avoiding to hit him. Angrily, they got out of their cars, demanding that Kendall be more careful, and yet Kendall didn't hear them.

And still he continued running...

When he finally could take no more, due to physical exhaustion, Kendall took a look at his surroundings.

It all seemed so strange to him, so alien.

He was sure he'd seen this place before, was sure he'd been here before with the guys and Gustavo...it seemed like a place he knew and yet couldn't remember it. The words ROCQUE RECORDS gleamed, even during nighttime and Kendall suddenly felt a searing pain in his chest as his memories all came flooding back to him. James...in a coma...James, who was never coming back to him...James who'd been hurt because of him. With these thoughts weighing him down, Kendall took off once more. He ran in the entirely different direction. He ran past everything he knew.

And still he continued running...

When he finally stopped again he was in a dark alley. His heart was thumping hard against his chest, both from the physical exertion he'd just had and from adrenaline which was coursing through his veins, warning him beforehand that this was no safe place to stay. Closely, behind a dark corner, Kendall could hear cruel, heartless laughter and what sounded like whimperings. Survival instincts kicking in, he took off once again.

And still he continued running...

Being the star jock that he'd always been, Kendall Knight knew his body could withstand enormous amounts of physical activity, the problem with this one was that, if he could have his way, it would be never-ending.

While running, he didn't have to think, he could completely disconnect himself from the world around him, from the awful truth which plagued him. He could pretend he was alright, that his heart didn't feel like on the verge of exploding, that he wasn't drowning in an endless sea of misery and torment.

Who knew love could hurt so much?

Kendall thought he'd experienced first-hand how much of a bitch-slap love could give a person when he'd found out James was cheating on him. He'd felt desperate, his heart breaking into a million pieces, his world crumbling around him. Life had proven him wrong however. Breaking up with James had hurt a thousand times more. It was as if his heart had broken, he'd stitched it back up, and the break up tore open the stitches, hurting even more than before. As he lay all through the night, his dreams tormented by the idea that James might not love him anymore, that he'd never loved him enough, Kendall had thought he'd definitely experienced the worst.

Life, again, had proven him wrong.

This time, the pain was unbearable. He was Kendall Knight, ruthless hockey player, fearless leader of Big Time Rush. He could do ANYTHINH he wanted. He could overcome ANYTHING. He'd been ten years old when his father had died and had to become the man in the family. He'd managed to pull through. He'd endured late-night trainings with his coach and had taken his Minnesota team to Nationals being only 14, and he pulled through. He'd managed, in the blink of an eye, to move from Minnesota to L.A, to turn from a hockey player to a popsinger, postpone all his life's dreams for James...and he pulled through. But this, this was beyond him.

And still he continued running...

When he reached the Palm Woods, well past midnight, everything was eerily quiet and somber. It was as if the whole building was mourning Kendall's loss. Kendall felt his breath hitch in his throat and he thought about running off again, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. His body wouldn't let him anymore.

Even as he gazed at the familiar place, he felt like he'd arrived at the wrong destination. This place was strange. This place wasn't his home. No place would ever feel like home again without his Jamie.

'I'm lost' Kendall realized before his legs gave out underneath him and he collapsed, letting darkness claim him, welcoming the sweet nothingness his exhausted body offered him...

And that's how his friends and family would find him the next morning, passed out from sheer exhaustion, near the Palm Wood's Pool.

He was lost...

A/N: Sad chapter, I know, but it brings on to the sequel which, for those of you who skipped my author's note at the beginning shall be called "Big Time Reminiscence". It shall be up, the latest, by next Friday.

Want a sneak peek? ;) I know you do...


"...it all seemed wrong to Kendall. A terrible nightmare that he couldn't seem to wake out of. Big Time Rush wasn't a band of three. It had never been a band of three and yet now everyone, besides him, was acting as if it'd been a band of three all along.

The press went haywire the first couple of days after James' accident but the fuss had gradually died down until they'd moved on into the next celebrity gossip they could find.

'It's as if we've all forgotten James' Kendall thought bitterly to himself one night 'Like he was never here. Like it wasn't his dream that made us who we are now…'"


Want to read more? Want to figure out if it is indeed true the rest of the Big Time Rush family managed to move on from James? Want to know if Kendall will ever recover and move on? Will James ever wake up or will he die?

Don't miss "Big Time Reminiscence" then! And leave a review for this chapter will you? I made it specifically for you guys ;) I was going to end it last chapter...

Overall, thanks for all the love and support you've ALL shown for this story...you guys are the best. I hope you'll continue to love "Big Time Reminiscence" and that you'll all be satisfied with the outcome.

I'm looking forward to hearing from all you guys!