Place: Konoha (Ibiki's office)
Time: three years after the Kyuubi attack (means Naruto is 3, Iruka is 15, Hayate 16 and Ibiki.. well.. he's ancient)
Characters: Iruka, Ibiki, Naruto
"What? Get that sticky little disgusting thing far away from me brat!" Ibiki moved a step back while waving his arms like a windmill.
"It's a child Ibi-sama." said brat rolled his eyes and gently rocked the sleeping boy in his arms.
"So I've heard." Umino Iruka smiled a smile Ibiki had never seen on him before. It wasn't mischievous, it wasn't creepy, neither cheeky or rude. It was a nice and honest smile.
"Do sit down brat." Ibiki therefor decided to find out what happened to his bad-mannered brat. He kicked a chair towards Iruka and sat down onto his table himself.
"Ta." the brat carefully lowered himself onto the chair and how fucked was that? Since when did Ibiki's brat do anything carefully?
"So what's with the kid? 'S yours?" Iruka gave him a funny look as if debating whether he should ask about his health.
"Well no. But I want to adopt him, Ibi-sama."
Ibiki waited for a few seconds before taking a deep breath. "Why?"
"It's Namikaze Naruto." and the proud interrogation specialist almost fell from his chair.
"You shouldn't be going around and calling him Namikaze, brat. He's Uzumaki."
"Who cares." Iruka mumbled.
"You would be surprised." Just as much as I am right now.
"Well – I don't. I want to adopt him."
"Why?" Ibiki repeated his previous question.
"'Cause I don't want any other child growing without anyone." Iruka breathed out and Ibiki suddenly understood just what was his brat trying to tell him.
Iruka shook his head. "That's only 'cause you practically adopted me, Ibi-sama."
"So that would make me a granny to this?" he pointed a finger at the snoring bundle of blond.
Iruka shrugged. "If you wanna.."
"So you want to adopt a demon brat.."
Iruka jumped up faster than Ibiki could notice and growled at him. "Don't. Call. Him. That!" he ordered breathlessly and Ibiki noticed a light in his eyes that was dangerous.
Brat could lose it right now, that's interesting. He watched his stu – ex-student with fascination.
"I've spent most of your life calling you that and you never argued. Why now?"
Ibiki watched as Iruka blinked the light out and sat back down, looking so tired.
"I am sorry, Ibi-sama. You are not the first one who threw these words at me today." Iruka replied and looked down.
"And did the civilians-" because who else, right? Ibiki at least hoped no shinobi dared to insult Iruka, "throw only the words at you?" he asked throw gritted teeth, because he already knew the answer.
"Of course." Iruka said and met his eyes.
"You are a good liar, Iruka. Did you dodge?"
"I – well, it was impossible to run or dodge very well with Naruto.. so.. no."
Ibiki hissed. He may have been angry on his brat, but no one would get away with hurting any of his kids.
"Did you visit the hospital?" he asked curtly, trying to hold his anger.
"No. Nothing serious." Iruka waved it off.
"Only civilians?" Ibiki changed the topic to something that was bothering him.
"Only civilians." Iruka lied and this time his sensei didn't notice. Or didn't want to notice.
The world is rotten. Iruka thought and ran a hand over the kid's hair.
"So you want to adopt it."
"You asked thrice the same question, granny." Iruka stuck his tongue.
Ibiki rolled his eyes and hit him over his head.
"At least some things never change." the man said.
"And it's a him, or Naruto, not it, old man." the boy teased cheekily.
"So you want to adopt him."
"Four times and still counting."
"Sure, sure. You know the policy for adopting?"
"Of course I do."
"So you roped Hayate into it as well?"
Iruka closed his eyes for a moment and Ibiki knew it was a bad question. Whoever agreed to adopt Naruto with Iruka, it obviously wasn't Hayate.
"We.. we disagreed on this matter."
"So who is the other parent, then?"
"I don't know, yet. I was thinking about Anko, but I doubt they would let her, with her history."
"And you doubt rightfully."
Iruka smiled. "I know."
"So not our team." Ibiki looked up in a deep thoughts. "What about the other team?"
"Mizuki is too similar to Hayate," Just much more sneaky, "to agree. As to Izumo and Kotetsu.. I just can't ask one of them." Iruka gesticulated so wildly Ibiki was surprised the kid hadn't woken up.
"They are Izumoandkotetsu, you can't separate them."
"The same could be said about you and Hayate."
"Obviously not." Iruka snorted.
Ibiki rubbed the bridge of his nose. His brat wasn't taking it good.
"Everyone argues once in a while."
"We didn't argue." Iruka whispered. "We just disagreed."
"That's the same, just nicely said."
"Maybe.." the brat said silently with his look downcast again.
"Did you say anything you want to take back?" Ibiki asked, because something was obviously very wrong and it was eating his brat away.
"Of course." Iruka answered with a bored tone. But he was still cradling the boy as if his life was on the stake.
"Did Hayate say anything you want him to take back?" by the wide eyes his brat gave him, Ibiki hit the nail right on it's head.
Iruka nodded and Ibiki sighed.
"You wouldn't care if someone bad-mouthed you, so I guess he said something not-very-nice about the kid of yours, right?" Ibiki urged his brat to continue, because how could he make everything better if he didn't know what had happened, right?
"Do you know how often did I hear insults on you three? Mostly by the police, by the way, brat." Ibiki smirked knowing Iruka would interpret it just the right way.
"What did you do?" the brat asked with a slight smile.
"I broke their jaws. Did you break Hayate's jaw?" the interrogator raised his eyebrows. He hadn't thought about that – just how close had Iruka been to loosing it just a minutes ago. What had happened?
"Of course not. It's Hayate!" the brat exclaimed looking insulted. "I would never hurt him. Or Anko. Or the boys."
"You almost lost it here, Iruka." Ibiki informed him and started cleaning his nails with a kunai.
Ibiki nodded. "But don't worry about it. I would be alright. And the little brat as well." he quickly added when his brat started looking down again.
"I see.." Iruka whispered and fell into silence. Ibiki mimicked him concentrating on his own nails and his brat's problem.
"You know what?" Ibiki broke the silence when he was done with his nails. Iruka looked up from his sleeping kid.
"You don't have to adopt him, just get a guardianship over him and it will basically be the same."
"Really?" Iruka brightened up and straightened his back. Ibiki smiled, it was always satisfying to see his brats happy.
"Yes. I even have the right papers here, brat."
"..Why?" Iruka asked with his eyebrows up, but stood and moved himself to the table.
"You don't need to know, brat." Ibiki countered and picked up a stack of papers from his drawer. He even handed his brat a pen.
"I know. I just want to." Iruka informed him while scribbling his name and the name of his little brat down where Ibiki pointed.
"I guessed. Sign here. And here. No – not there, there would be my signature." he barked instructions.
"Why yours?" Iruka blinked up at his sensei and blindly signed himself where he thought he should. By the frown on Ibiki's face he missed. But only a little. He didn't get shouted on, after all.
"You need to have a witness, brat."
"Oooh!" Ibiki rolled his eyes. His brat was too easy to fascinate.
"That's all. But if you want you can sign some Intel-paperwork for me, you look like enjoying it." Ibiki smirked.
"In your dreams!" Iruka countered and smirked back. "I will go and feed my child and than come back to help you, 'k?"
"Yes, yes. Don't disturb my work, brat." the interrogator said and they both knew he wouldn't work anyway, because he hated paperwork. He would just wait for Iruka or Anko to come and help him. For some reason, either didn't mind.
"Wait up, Ibi-sama." Iruka turned around one last time before he disappeared through the window. "Did anyone try to get a guardianship over me, when I lost my family?"
"Yes. And even succeeded." Ibiki answered without looking at him, his gaze pointed to the spiderweb in a corner of his office. He would have to do some cleaning, soon.
Iruka blinked. That was weird, he never noticed anyone looking over him and no one ever told him and – basically the only people he knew were his sensei and his team and their brother-team.
"Who." he demanded.
Hmm... I was bored. I should probably say it's finished, but will get a second chapter (this one is serious, the second one will be ... weird.. full of Iruka's ideas, that's why)
I want to write the mostly because I can't leave Iruka without Hayate and Hayate without Iruka. So yeah..
Thank you for reading and sorry if you spot any mistake. I promise I am getting better. But slowly.
Review if you liked it :)