The seconds seemed like years as Lavender anxiously awaited Neville's return with Seamus. Professor McGonagall had left a little while ago, giving Lavender the privacy that she undoubtedly needed. Lavender had it pictured in her head already that there was probably going to be a lot of screaming, tears, and breaking things. Most of those on Seamus's part due to his rage and anger at his ex-girlfriend, but still. The chance of those things occurring was highly possible. Lavender walked over to the large oval mirror by the desk for probably the twentieth time and checked her appearance…again. The faded remnants of her scars, so generously given by Fenrir Greyback, were still slightly visible on her neck and cheek but she wanted them to show today. Today was not a day to be ashamed of them. There were plenty of other things to be ashamed of instead.
Her heart started beating even more rapid when Lavender heard the distinctive sound of a doorknob turning. She looked towards the large oak door and yes, the golden handle was indeed turning. And now she could hear the men talking on the other side of it. It was Neville.
"It's just someone. Someone special that you haven't seen in years."
"Why won't you just tell me Longbottom? You know I hate surprises."
And then three things happened. One, the door opened and Neville came in first followed closely by Seamus. Two, Seamus looked around the room until he saw Lavender. Three, Lavender and Seamus made eye contact and then everything went south from there.
Seamus's jaw dropped and he took a tentative step foreword, tears already welling up in his eyes.
Seamus turned back to Neville, who had a stupid 'told you so' grin on his face. Neville shook his head and Seamus turned back the witch. She had a concerned look on her face. She was just waiting for him to say something else because she had missed the sound of his voice. But what he said next did not reassure her by any means and it certainly didn't make her feel comfortable.
"Neville, could you leave…please?"
Neville raised his eyebrow but shook his head.
"Sure mate. You know where my office is if you need me."
As soon as Neville was gone from the room and out of earshot, Seamus unleashed on the witch.
"What the Bloody Hell are you doing here?!"
"I…well…I wanted to see you."
"NOW?! NOW?! YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?! AFTER ELEVEN FUCKING YEARS?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! WE ALL DID! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH?! I WAS IN PIECES! YOU BROKE ME! I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO REALLY SMILE, OR LOVE, OR LAUGH!"
His face was beat red were pure anger and a vein was popping out of his forehead. Lavender's vision soon became blurry as the tears fogged her eyes. She knew that this was going to happen, and she had endured it from Neville, but it hurt so much more coming from Seamus. She loved him, even after all these years. The second she saw him her heart dropped into her stomach and she knew at that moment that the feelings were all still there. He was Seamus and she was Lavender and them being together was just what made sense. Well, it DID make sense. Now…however…
"YOU FUCKING PLAYED DEAD. I don't believe it. I don't fucking believe it! You've been alive this entire time, YOU KNEW WE WERE ALL HURTING, and you still stayed away?! THAT IS THE MOST SELFISH FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER HEARD! And you just show up…TO HOGWARTS…and, and HOLY SHIT NEVILLE KNEW! HE KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE AND HE DIDN'T TELL ME!"
Lavender finally decided that she needed to interrupt. Seamus could be mad at her all he wanted, she deserved it, but Neville did NOT.
"He hasn't known for that long, only a couple of days Seamus! I swear I didn't mean to hurt you and I asked him not to tell you so I could see you myself and please STOP YELLING AT ME!"
Tears were pouring out of her eyes and staining her shirt. She just wanted him to listen to her and to understand. She just wanted this to be easy.
"You were dead! You were fucking dead!"
He was bawling too and gripped the side of an armchair to steady himself. He was crying and shaking and screaming and Lavender could tell that he was having a harder time being mad at her than he was putting on. He deserved to be mad at her, furious even, but he loved her so much and he had missed her with every bone in his body and how could he really be mad at her? She was alive and that's what he had been praying for for 11 years now. He sat down in the armchair and Lavender slowly made her way to the couch across from him and sat down as well.
"You were dead. We let you go. We did a service with everyone, the whole gang. We said good bye. Everyone. I…I haven't been able to get over it. Even after all these years. I've never loved anyone else, how could I? You…you were my first. Lavender, I just don't understand."
He looked up at her and really gazed into her eyes for the first time in 11 years. She was still so stunningly beautiful.
"Why? Why did you leave us? Where have you been?"
She was silent for a moment because she could see the pain painted on his face and hear it engraved in his words. It was terrible for her to know that she was reason for his sorrow. She pulled down her shirt a little more to reveal the rest of her scars and she watched as Seamus's eyes grew big with realization.
"I left because I was scarred. Because Greyback had changed me and put his poison inside of me. I'm a werewolf Seamus, a full changing monster that destroys every 30ish days. I was positive that no one would look at me the same. That people would see me as a creature instead of a person. I was determined that you wouldn't love me anymore and…"
She looked up at him.
"For me to not love you anymore. That's impossible."
Lavender felt the corners of her mouth edging towards a smile but she couldn't do it. She needed to be serious. She wasn't done breaking his heart yet and he might not feel that way after she finished her story.
"Well, just let me finish. You might feel differently after I tell you the rest."
Seamus's face suddenly grew serious and he leaned back in the chair, bracing himself.
"That's how I felt. I was now ugly and a monster. I packed up and moved to Scotland. I've been living in a small cottage on the outskirts on a prairie. It's gorgeous there. I thought that playing dead would be like ripping the Band-Aid off. So much quicker and easier than saying goodbyes. Or you guys knowing. But I also left because, well, I had ruined someone else's life too."
"What do you mean?"
Lavender took a deep breath as new tears rolled down her face.
"I was pregnant, Seamus, during the battle. Your child. When I saw Susan get killed, I left my post even though I knew I was putting myself and the baby in danger and sure enough…"
She looked down at the floor and even though she couldn't see Seamus, she could practically hear his shock in the air.
"I had a baby in my stomach, our baby, and I put it in danger. I knew what I was doing. I destroyed that baby's life before it was even born. I felt so terrible that I hadn't told you in the first place. I was actually going to get an abortion the week of the battle. But then the battle DID happen and…it was too late. I thought you would never forgive me for that…for doing that to our child."
Seamus was grasping to form words. He couldn't believe his ears.
"I…I have a child?"
Lavender looked up at him.
"A son, actually. He's a brilliant boy. Spitting image of you, really. His name is Thomas."
Seamus had a look of utter disbelief on his face and Lavender was positive that at that moment in time, he was going to get up and walk away. But he stayed and what he said next was even more shocking.
"I want to meet him."
"You have already, actually. He's a Gryffindor first year…"
And the light went off in Seamus's mind.
"Merlin's beard…Thomas…yes! Thomas Finn. I remember him clearly. I…he…I was just talking to my son and didn't even realize it?"
Lavender stifled a small giggle.
"Looks like it."