WARNING: If you are a dedicated GSR fan please step away now... you'll not like this!
I heard the song 'Stranger' and I had this idea- and I couldn't help but write it.
I hope you all enjoy it- please review- let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I own zilch.
Abandoning the Moon
The sound of her heels clicking against the floor as she walked down the hall seemed to silence everyone around her as she made her way towards the break room. She'd just started driving, and she hadn't stopped.
She felt exhausted and light headed, her shoes hurt, her dress was more than uncomfortable but she realised that she had never felt this alive.
"Am I interrupting anything?" She took a deep breath, making her presence known her eyes washing over the room, resting on the one person she knew would make this all better. The best friend that had always been able to fix things not matter how broken they were.
While everyone studied the wrinkled fabric of her evening gown, the dirt that had matted against her heels. Strands of hair had fallen out of the intricate knots she had tied it into, her jewellery was missing but as he saw her in the shattered mess she appeared at the door in he knew that she'd never been more beautiful.
Without a word Greg pulled himself to his feet; his brown eyes shining with confusion and relief. The smile that tugged at his lips as he made his way towards her made her heart thump hard in her chest. And when he opened his arms for her, she fell into his embrace as if there was no other place in the world she wanted to be.
"It's going to be okay" He whispered into her ear, his hands gently moving in circles around her back.
The mix of cologne and cigarette specific to Greg surrounding her, engulfing her senses and it struck Sara in that moment she was home...
The sound of the water running came to a sudden halt forcing a lump to build up in her throat, as she attempted to prepare herself for what was to come. Sara glanced at herself in the mirror quickly, her hair was still in a messy knot, and the over sized shirt she was wearing could never be confused for the satin gown her husband had chosen for her that evening.
It was the lock clicking and the door of the en suit opening that forced her to shut her eyes, taking a deep breath as she tried to put herself in any place other than where she was now. He loitered awkwardly by the bed watching her for a few moments before taking a deep breath out of frustration when she didn't respond to his presence.
"What is it now?" Grissom asked using one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose to sooth the headache that was burning at the forefront of his mind.
"I...I don't want to go" She replied in a muted voice, glancing at him before quickly looking away picking at her nails. Without a word he picked up the dress lying by her side and handed it to her; not giving her, the choice to decline.
"Can you please get dressed we're going to be late" He said sternly, the way his blue eyes burned into her skin saying more than he would ever verbalise.
"Please..." She whimpered slightly, looking up at him pleadingly, but he just seemed to ignore her. They had been through this routine far too many times; they'd had this argument before.
"Can you please stop being difficult" Grissom asked shaking his head as he opened the wardrobe finding the shirt he wanted to wear that night. He examined it in the light as if it were a piece of evidence, before lowering raising an eyebrow questioningly. "I thought I asked you to iron my shirt for tonight"
"I...I ironed the blue one instead...It looks nice with the tie you chose" She replied, finally getting to her feet, untying her hair. She didn't think anything of what she had done but still he seemed to watch her as if she'd just confessed to killing someone because they refused to give up their parking space at the supermarket.
"I wanted to wear this one" He stated bluntly as if it didn't matter what she'd thought.
"I'll iron it now if you want" Sara took a deep breath offering to take it from him but he quickly snatched it away placing it in the wardrobe before she'd even had a chance to process what was happening.
"No, I'll wear the one you chose since, you have such great taste" It was a low blow. He was just acting out because she had resisted to the idea of hanging off his arm for the evening, pretending to care about the dull chit chat his friends would make.
"I'm sorry...You don't have to if you don't want to" She did the only thing she knew to do, apologise. Recently it had been as if almost every other action she made was wrong, and the most words they exchanged were when she found herself saying sorry without really knowing why.
"Can you please get ready...like I said before we're going to be late" He shook his head slightly as he found the blue shirt she had ironed, pulling it on without looking at her.
She didn't bother arguing, getting dressed as quickly as she could, wanting nothing more than for this night to be over. If she was honest she was tired of the events, parties and dinners that she spent most of her evenings at.
The street's of LA flew past them as he drove them to the location of tonight's event, she hadn't bothered asking where it was as it didn't even matter. She knew what her role was, and what was expected of her.
"Sara...I wish you'd talk to me..." He started as he slowed down at some traffic lights but she refused to look at him. It was a conversation they had tried to have so many times but it never amounted to anything, they never seemed to move forwards.
"What do you want me to say?" She turned to face him, her expression making it clear that she wasn't going to be falling for this, not again.
"I want you to tell me what's wrong" Grissom assured her as he turned into a parking lot. She gave a small humourless laugh, shaking her head as she opened the door.
Grissom locked the car, moving to stand beside her, offering her his arm as they walked towards the entrance. Sara remained silent, fixing a smile knowing that there would be too many questions if she showed any other emotion than content.
"You can throw a tantrum when we get home, tonight please behave." He hissed in her ear, and when she turned to see him, a shiver swam up her spine. There was something so wrong with the way he was looking at her; there was no warmth in his eyes.
It had been brewing, it had been a change she had seen coming, but there was nothing she could do about it, she had been forced to simply endure the way he had changed. Their relationship had fallen apart in front of her eyes and with no will to fight against the tides she was simply dragged under. It was like living as a ghost, she spent her days being ignored.
He led her inside, and blinking away the tears that were stinging her eyes she attempted to gather herself. It had occurred to her that if only she could make him happy for a little way, the rest would fall into place. Perhaps he would stop being so cold. Perhaps he'd once again showed that he cared.
She drank wine, chatted with his colleagues, spoke and agreed about how wonderful he was all the while thinking how empty her words were. She no longer believed them, how could she?
"I'll be right back" Sara smiled warmly at Grissom, kissing his cheek. He turned to face her with a smile, winding his arms around her waist bringing her body closer to his; something he hadn't done in a long time.
"Hurry back dear" He muttered, kissing her gently.
It made her sick to her stomach as she walked away, the way he had lied to everyone pretending things between them were in their rightful place. It made her ill knowing that he could so easily pretend that he wanted her by his side when it was more evident than not if she disappeared into the night he would not look for her.
As Sara stepped out into the darkness, the cool air surrounding her, she felt more suffocated than she had ever done before. She wondered when she had let herself become the woman that simply did as her husband asked for the sake of a peaceful life. It was as if her primary role had become to be by his side as if there was nowhere else for her to be.
As she lit a cigarette she laughed slightly to herself about how untruthful that statement was- she wanted to be anywhere but by his side. She wanted more than anything to put everything she owned in the back of her car and leave and never come back.
Taking a drag, she blew smoke out into the air watching as it formed like clouds ahead of her; it was the sound of footsteps that forced her to look away. He was there- she knew it would be him- with something to say, some judgement to make.
"You know I don't like it when you smoke" Grissom stated flatly. She observed the way in which he stood waiting for her to put the cigarette out but she ignored him, she was not in the mood to be obedient.
"The silent treatment, very mature Sara" He shook his head as if this was something he had predicted. "Can you please, come back inside?"
"Why?" She asked firmly.
"Because you're my wife, and people wish to speak with you" He said the words without thinking without them.
"Of course...that's the only reason anyone would want to talk to me" She rolled her eyes taking another drag of her cigarette.
"Sara, please don't do this now" Grissom shook his head, kicking a bit of gravel by his feet doing what he could to avoid confrontation. But it was far too late, she had already snapped.
"Let's do this now" She cleared her throat. "What would they like to know about the great Gil Grissom...How he wooed me...How he screwed me in his office while I was his student? I'm sure all the affluent people in there would love to hear that..."
"Sara, stop this, now" He demanded, holding his hands up in defeat but it didn't matter, she'd pretended for far too long to be able to take all the things in her mind back.
"Give me the car keys" Sara said with a deep breath.
"What?" A frown creased his brow.
"Just give me the keys" She held out her hand, as he dropped a set of keys into her palm. Sara snatched them away and with a sigh turned to walk away.
"Where are you going?" He asked as her heels sunk into the grass, but she didn't care, she'd made a decision.
"I'm leaving...I'm done" She laughed at how absurd the idea was. The moon shone down over her pale skin, the navy silk of her gown shimmering as she moved, a laugh escaping her lips as the breeze swept past her. The feeling of weightlessness overwhelmed her as she met his eye with all the desperation, all the loneliness and depression that had consumed her life. "I'm leaving you"
Sara turned away from him, taking a deep breath, walking towards the car as he stood watching her, not saying a word. It struck her then that she had never expected him to, she had never assumed that he'd fight to make her stay, to convince her what they had was not lost.
And that very thought answered every question, every doubt that had filled her mind about whether she was making the right decision.
As she put the key in the ignition and started the car- it sunk in that she'd left him- it was over.