The Five Times Morgan Could Have Kissed Reid and the One Time He Did


A/N: Hey, y'all. I love five and ones, so I decided to write one. The conversations in 3, 4, and 5 are all taken directly from the series, so I claim to own nothing but the adding of a few words (and by a few, I mean like three or four and then teasing the end to cement it). Other than that, I feel that Morgan and Reid are so fucking canon, that it takes someone just showing you the exact lines from the show to prove it. So, I did.

Enjoy.

-The Bluest of the Oleandars


(1) You Very Strong, Strong Like Warrior

"Hands up! Come on, guys, up. Like you actually want to keep somebody from hitting you in the face!" Morgan instructed as the group feebly raised their hands above their heads. It's been fifty minutes already and he was making no leeway with this one kid in the back. Morgan knows this, because the little twerp's been looking at the clock every fifteen seconds, pleading for it to go faster with his eyes. As an FBI Self-Defense trainer, he's seen a lot of rejects, losers, and ne'er-do-wells cross this linoleum and every single one eventually (after months of hard work) came to prove themselves out on the field, including JJ. Lord knows that girl could barely break a toothpick in half when she started out, but now, she's an ass-kicking machine. But, from his place in the front of the classroom with five underwhelming, inexperienced (and in this kid's case, gaunt) scouted agents, he could pick out immediately which one should give up hope and never return. This skinny, little white boy was going to get himself killed on the first case he works on, Morgan can tell, and he can't wait for him to leave and bring down the luck of the team sad enough to get stuck with him.

The kid clearly had it in his mind that he couldn't do it and as a result was barely trying. After fifteen minutes, he'd given up, doing hardly the amount of work necessary to keep himself under the radar, but Morgan could tell. His carefully combed honey brown hair fell neatly to the back of his head and fit around his ears. His hair was unbearably neat which shows signs of either rigid upbringing, incarceration, or time spent in a locked facility. Since the kid looks too scared to shoplift a pack of gum and seems like he has his wits about him, Morgan's going to go with rigid upbringing. Sadly, his hair was the only neat thing about him. Morgan could tell in an instant that the kid couldn't give two shits about style. He wore a baggy pair of sweatpants that he overestimated the size on and a tee shirt he was swimming in that said "Caltech" on it. The shirt must have been borrowed since he is way too pale to have gone through the California school system. His cheeks were hollowed, and his fingers twitched at his sides. This kid must do nothing but read, write, and breathe. Damn. From the look of him, it doesn't even seem like he eats. Morgan's mother would have a field day feeding him, that's for sure.

The hour was finally up and the class began to file out, but Morgan pointed to that kid in the back, "Hey, you."

The kid looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time. Wow, they were almost caramel colored. The same as his hair. Is that even possible? Eh. Morgan shrugged it off as a genetic mutation of some sort. The kid pointed to himself, unsure if he was the 'you' in question.

Morgan nodded, "Yeah, over here. I need a word."

The last of the group had left the little room and closed the door as the kid approached him. Morgan asked calmly, "What's your name, kid?"

The kid stammered out, "R-Reid." He cleared his throat and completed, "Dr. S-Spencer Reid."

Morgan raised his eyebrows, "Doctor? Is that a joke or something? How old are you?"

Dr. Spencer Reid replied, "Twenty three."

Morgan asked, "Is it even possible to have a doctorate at that age?"

Dr. Spencer Reid corrected, "I-I have three."

Morgan paused, "…"

"…" Dr. Spencer Reid countered.

Morgan elaborated, "…"

Dr. Spencer Reid finally spoke, "When you graduate high school at the age of twelve, everything's possible."

Morgan grinned, "Oh, so you're like a super nerd?"

Dr. Spencer Reid laughed nervously, "One could say that."

Morgan folded his arms across his chest and smiled with mirth, "Well, that explains your poor excuse for hand-eye coordination."

"It might, I… I don't get out much," Dr. Spencer Reid said with a chuckle.

Morgan smiled. He likes this Dr. Spencer Reid. The look in his eyes is so innocent, it's nearly child-like. His height should be stalky, but on him it's nice. His lips are so full and shapen as if he talks a lot whether what he says is heard or not. It's almost cute. Morgan wanted to take him under his wing somehow. He knows what it's like to be the underdog, and it's always helpful to have a pal.

"That's all good, no problem," Morgan replied, "How about we work on that hand to hand, okay?"

"How hard can it be?" Dr. Spencer Reid nodded, leaning his hand forward to slip into Morgan's. It was warm, slender, and impeccably soft. Morgan blinked, "Dude. I meant combat. Hand to hand combat."

Dr. Spencer Reid yanked his hand from Morgan's and pushed his bangs behind his ear, his face slowly gaining color, "O-of course."

Morgan shook his head with a chuckle, "In what universe did you think it was okay for you to hold my hand?!"

Dr. Spencer Reid's face continued to gather color, "I… I don't know, I just thought…"

Morgan teased, "I don't discriminate, doc, but I could have sworn you were hitting on me."

Dr. Spencer Reid furrowed his eyebrows, "I never hit you."

"…oh, Lord, you're going to give my old patience a work out." Morgan began to laugh, "Let's start with a simple defensive stance. Legs apart, hands up."

Dr. Spencer Reid waddled uncomfortably, bending his knees and raising open palms. Morgan began to fix the posture, first, because boy did it need work. He closed his hands around Dr. Spencer Reid's smaller ones so that they fell into tiny fists and raised his left to shield his painfully beautiful face. Morgan cleared his mind of the word choice and decided to get closer, striding around to the kid's back, pressing his hands against his knees so that they were set straight with his right leg back further just a bit more. Then, Morgan ran a hand up the length of Dr. Spencer Reid's back, saying quietly, "Straighten your back and keep eye contact with your aggressor. If not, that shows a sign of weakness. Are you weak, Dr. Spencer Reid?"

Dr. Spencer Reid paused and replied, "You can call me Spencer if you like. The whole formal term is a mouthful."

Morgan shrugged, "Fine. Are you weak, Spencer?"

Spencer replied, "Yes, quite."

"Wrong answer," Morgan tapped the boy on the back of the head.

"Ow!" Spencer complained.

Morgan smiled widely from behind the boy, "Deep down inside, you very strong. Strong like warrior."

Spencer sighed, "With all due respect, Agent Morgan, I know I can't do this. Why are you pretending I can?"

Morgan answered simply, "I'm not pretending. I'm 100% sure you can do this. I have all confidence that you will get this down pat and become an exceptional agent. But, I can't do that alone. I need you on board as well. A teacher can only teach a student willing to learn."

Spencer nodded sullenly, "I know that."

Morgan raised his eyebrows and smacked the kid firmly on the surprisingly round rear, "Then prove it, Poindexter."

Spencer let out a quiet squeak at the violation and held up his hands, a blush still noticeable on his face as Morgan strode around him to show him more of what he had missed in class, "Now, I'm a bad guy. I'm coming toward you with nothing but my fists. What do you do?"

"Run away?" Spencer guessed.

Morgan replied, "No."

"Shoot you?" Spencer conjectured.

Morgan vigorously responded, "Hell no."

"Uh… block you?" Spencer replied with a little unease.

Morgan raised his thumb, "A+! Returning the unsub to the police with as few injuries as possible is key. And, we both know a strapping young man like yourself could kick his ass to Timbuktu."

Spencer's face darkened, "Agent Morgan…"

Morgan lifted his palms in surrender, "It's called raising you confidence."

Spencer looked away, "Well, you're making me uncomfortable with all of these comments."

Morgan grinned, "Are you upset about it?"

Spencer said timidly, "Kind of."

"Good! That's great!" Morgan clapped his hands in excitement, "Get pissed! Harness the angry and use it to give your blocks more stability! Would it make you even more upset with me if I hit you?"

Spencer mumbled, his arms falling to his sides, "Yeah… then again, nobody really enjoys getting hit…"

Morgan raised his fists, "You're right! So, I'm going to hit you."

Spencer whimpered, "Please don't."

Morgan took a step back to power the punch that was soon to come, "I'm gonna."

Spencer gasped, raising his hands above his head, "Come on, please!"

"Too bad! I'm doing it anyway!" Morgan forced his fist toward Spencer and it collided with a strongly placed forearm. Spencer had successfully blocked the punch, but at the same time looked as if he was going to burst into tears. Morgan grinned, "You did it! If you stop your mind for a moment and think with your body, amazing things could happen. Amazing things like self-preservation, which takes what you have already learned and protects you. So, you don't have to put your whole brain into it. Just relax, and remember what you've learned."

Glancing up at the arm that currently had a powerful fist sitting patiently on it, Spencer's shoulders relaxed, "I… I blocked that?"

Morgan nodded and removed his fist, patting him on the frail back, "Yeah, kid, good job. I'm proud of you."

Spencer's face broke out in a smile, "I did it."

Morgan began to chuckle, "That, you did."

Spencer raised his tiny fist to the air, "I did it!"

"Hold up, doc, you don't want to break this," Morgan reached up to the kid's fist to fix it, pulling the thumb outside from the index, middle, ring, and pinky fingers. That was a dangerous position to have your thumb in. If Spencer had actually hit something with that hand, that thumb would have splintered in half.

As Morgan was fixing the improperly formed fist into its correct position, Spencer slowly brought the hand to his chest so that it would be easier to detangle. Unfortunately, it also brought Morgan fairly close and his hand cradled into the senior agent's much larger ones within a matter of seconds. Spencer looked up into Morgan's eyes, his caramel ones wide and earnest. Morgan looked back. The kid was shaking, his face tinged with red and his eyes large and innocent. Morgan kind of wants to know if that blush extends past the kid's droopy collar. As his large hands dwarfed Spencer's, he paused. Wow, this was one of the most beautiful people he has ever come in contact with. His eyelashes were long, his hair growing disheveled and his face, puerile and delicate, begged to be smoothed, caressed.

Morgan felt himself entranced, leaning closer and closer to those flushed, pink velvet lips, wondering how they would feel against his. He really wasn't thinking and for some reason Spencer knew that as well. The doctor bent backwards at the final moment, unraveling himself from Morgan and running across the room to grab his bag. In a hurry, he whisked out of the door, saying as he left, "Uh, thank you very much for the lesson, I'll be back next Thursday!"

Morgan stared after the kid.

Crap.


A/N: I will be updating this EVERY SINGLE DAY. Since this is a 5N1, that means you will get a chapter from me for every day until Saturday.

Happy End of September.

-Blue Is the New Black

Tomorrow: THE COFFEE MUG OF DOOM