The Five Times Morgan Could Have Kissed Reid and the One Time He Did
A/N: Verbal dialogue (before "Let's get to work.") taken from the CBS show Criminal Minds. NOT MINE. Directional positioning (before "Let's get to work.") taken from Matthew Gray Gubler and Shemar Moore. NOT MINE. Inner dialogue and directional positioning afterward is all mine. Other than that I barely own anything.
This one is actually my favorite.
(5) We're Missing a Variable
Two years later, Spencer was distracted. Another rabid serial killer was on the loose, and this particular one liked stabbing. A lot. Like 40 times. After the victim was already dead. Although this was pretty bad, this wasn't the worst they'd ever encountered. And, if this was your usual, every day, run-of-the-mill serial killer case, Hotch, Rossi, and the whole gang would be halfway up Spencer's ass telling him to get his act together. But, this case was different. It hit close to home for the young doctor if for one particular reason: the profile heavily leaned on the fact that the murderer was a mild schizophrenic. Just like his mother.
All during the police briefing, Spencer was out of it. Morgan could tell as he fidgeted before the cops, giving only as much information was asked of him and as soon as it was over, he quickly fled the scene. Heading toward the PD men's room after him, Morgan already had something in mind to calm the doctor down: a firm talking to, gentle reassurance, and maybe a hug. Nah, scratch that. A hug was pushing it. No hug.
As he strode into the bathroom, he saw Spencer at the sink, head lifting from the water current as he shut it off. He must have known that Morgan was following him, and splashed water on his face to quell the tears that were bound to flow sooner or later. His back still to Morgan, he began to state distractedly, "You know that profile kind of makes it sound like schizophrenia leads to serial killing."
Morgan stepped over to him to stand beside the sink, "That's not what we said at all, kid."
Spencer continued to muse, "You know my mom has schizophrenia. There are many different types…"
Morgan shrugged, "I know that."
Spencer folded his arms and turned to lean on the sink, the areas under his eyes a deep, blotchy purple to brashly contrast the pallor of his skin and his newly shorn short shock of caramel brown hair. Yet, somehow, he didn't lose an ounce of beauty. The slight imperfection seemed to highlight his features and bring out the softness of them. God, Morgan wanted him. He couldn't get it out of his head nowadays and the sexual tension between them is almost strong enough to need a goddamn machete to hack through. Morgan's always been a man to think with the lower half of his body when lust came into the game, but… Spencer was different. After years, and years of sexual frustration, Morgan was pretty okay with the fact of Spencer's gender. It went much deeper than that. Spencer was fragile. He was young. He was sensitive. He was so. Damned. Beautiful. Spencer was classy. He was educated. He was extremely clever, and shit was it a turn on. He was everything Morgan wanted. And, when he sat down as a young adult and tried to picture the idea of him living a life with someone, they didn't have half of the traits Spencer carried. Then, as Spencer kissed Lila, he realized…when he had pictured perfect all those years ago… he was selling himself short because he knew then that he would never find someone as unique, and handsome, and perfect for him as Spencer was.
So, he held his guard and listened. That was all he could do. If he made a move too soon, or too early, there was a possibility that he could lose Spencer. And he loved him too much for that. He'd rather walk beside him, heart heavy with longing that he keeps locked up inside, because that is round about one million times better than never seeing him again. Morgan lives for the smile in Spencer's eyes when he walks in in the morning. Morgan embraces the soft blush that runs across Spencer's nose when he's being teased. Morgan lusts after the feel of Spencer's hair underneath his hand every time he rumples it like it's nothing. And, hell, he admits it. He's in love with him.
The doctor spouted, "Catatonic, disorganized… just because someone suffers from the inability to organize their thoughts, or can't bathe or dress themselves doesn't mean they're going to end up stabbing someone in the chest 30 times post mortem."
Raising an eyebrow at his statement, Morgan contemplated, "Reid, what's really going on?"
"Our unsub's hallucinations aren't fractured like a typical schizophrenic, they're vivid and clear, leaving me to believe that we're missing an important variable," Spencer's head snapped up, staring up at Morgan, "Rather than making crazy conjectures, I think we should be trying to figure out what it is!"
Morgan gave Spencer a concerned look, "You listen to me, I know this is a scary age for you. It's when schizophrenic breaks happen. Have you talked to anybody about this?"
Spencer broke eye contact. "Emily."
Morgan asked, "Have you seen a doctor?"
Spencer spoke unenthusiastically, "They all say I'm fine."
Morgan folded his arms across his chest, "Then why don't you believe them?"
Spencer replied eyes everywhere but Morgan's face, "Because predicting one's chances of developing a genetic condition are like finding a penny in an ocean. I have terrible headaches, I can't sleep at night, I can't focus on our cases, I… I only read five books last week."
Morgan began to smile. He's worrying just a tad too much. "Come on, kid, you've got to cut yourself some slack. You're also depressed about Prentiss, and I get it, we all are. I miss her every day. But, if your mind was splitting, do you think you would have realized that this team was missing a variable."
Spencer mumbled, "I'm just speculating that we are… I need to prove it."
"Then, you do that. The moment you are wandering the streets aimlessly? That's when I'll be concerned about you," Morgan watched as Spencer looked down fondly and ran his hand through that tousled hair, mussing it up a little more, "Come on, Pretty Boy. Let's get to work."
Morgan headed out of the bathroom, but before he could reach the door, he felt Spencer's hand on his arm. It was warm, and his fingers were long, slender things, snaking out like little pythons ready to strike. Spencer rarely touches people, and if he does, he makes sure to do it as lightly and insignificantly as possible. But, this grip, this touch…it wasn't like him. And that worried Morgan. The elder agent held his ground and turned in Spencer's grip, making sure to pretend that he can't feel it.
Spencer cleared his throat, "Mor…uh, Morgan?"
Morgan replied, "Yep."
"Thanks," Spencer said brokenly, leaning forward to place a hesitant hug around Morgan's waist. Morgan felt a small smile tip the sides of his lips as he wrapped his arms around the little fella. He really was quite small. Sure, he was taller, but only by two inches, goddamit! Morgan let out a laugh, "What's all this boo-lovin' for, kiddo, we've got a case to solve."
Spencer rested his head on Morgan's shoulder and breathed, "I just need a minute."
Morgan held him closer and replied quickly, "You can have as many minutes as you need. Hell, make it an hour. I'm not busy."
Spencer began to chuckle and mumbled into Morgan's neck, "You're weird."
Morgan laughed, "Never thought I'd hear the day when you said that to me!"
Spencer snorted, "Well, I think it enough."
Morgan reached his hand up from Spencer's back to flick him in the ear.
"Ow!" Spencer complained, leaning back to grab the side of his head, "You hurt my ear."
Morgan teased to Spencer's scrunched up face that was just way too adorable to be considered right, "You hurt my feelings."
Spencer grumbled, "You don't have feelings."
Morgan smiled lightly, "Yeah, I do."
Spencer glanced into Morgan's eyes and quickly looked away, his face turning to a row of blue urinals. Morgan touched Spencer's chin lightly and pushed his face back towards him. His chin was a little rough. Considering the facts that they'd been there all day and Spencer was a grown-ass man, it did make sense, Morgan just expected it to be smooth and soft. Instead, his face was warm and a little prickly. It was kind of a turn on. Spencer blurted out with his eyes shut, "Emily and I were talking about you about a week before she died and she said I should just conjure my balls from the lost tunnels of Chu Chi and ask you out already. But, then she was gone, and I didn't know what to do, and you were there for me when I was mourning, and all of those times I wanted to say it, I was too much of a loser to just come out and tell you that I… I have a massive infatuation with you and it doesn't seem like it will ever dissipate."
Morgan blinked, "You…you have a crush on me?"
Spencer sighed, face quickly gathering blood, "I said infatuation!"
"Oh, thank God." Morgan let out a huge breath of relief, hellbent on ruining the moment purely to make it more awkward for Spencer than it already was, "I've been wanting so fuck you since I met you."
Spencer squeaked, "Could you not say that out loud?!"
Morgan continued on, "All this time I thought, maybe you wanted to fuck me too…but you seemed so disinterested."
Spencer hissed, "I kissed you! How much more interested can one get?!"
"Seven years ago, man. Don't treat it like it was last week." Morgan explained, "And it was on the cheek! Who are you, my grandma?! Rossi kisses me with more gusto, and he does that European thing. You know what I'm talking about. Both sides of the face. It's kind of nice, actually."
Spencer rolled his eyes, "You're getting off topic."
Morgan raised his hands in surrender, "Sorry."
Spencer shook his head and continued to bitch, "It was after hours, the hallway cameras switch to infrared after ten o'clock at night, and those ones are carefully inspected by the security team first thing every day. So, I took the safe route! It's not my fault that you acted like I didn't throw my heart out on the line—and by doing that, you broke it."
Morgan retorted, "I didn't see a heart out there to break! All I heard was Lila, Lila, Lila. Perky, Little Miss Perfect, Lila. Did you know that she's the only one you'd ever cross professional lines for? Did you know that she's the one your feelings will never go away for? Did you know that she rides on silver moonbeams and shoots rainbows out of her ass?! Because I sure do!"
Spencer paused and stared long and hard at Morgan, "…holy shit, you didn't know I was talking about you."
Morgan glared, "Why would you have been talking about me? You had just fucking made out with Lila in front of the entire team. You might as well have live-tweeted #hetero."
Spencer asked, "Live-tweeted?"
Morgan shook his head, "Someone needs to formally introduce you to the internet."
Spencer shrugged, "All in all, I was professing my love for you and you were near shoving me toward someone else, so that might have pissed me off just a little. And by a little, I mean an astronomical amount."
"Well, now that you told me you have a gigantic schoolgirl crush on me, scribble my name in your notebooks, and have your wedding dress all picked out, I guess I can safely say I'm sorry," Morgan teased.
Spencer sighed, "Apology accepted."
Morgan placed his hands on Spencer's waist, "So... do you want to skip around the office, hold hands, and share a smoothie?"
"Don't be a dick," Spencer blushed and poked Morgan in the chest, maneuvering around the strong arms that were joined loosely around his hips, "I have a feeling you don't take me seriously which is sad since I'm a highly qualified specialist in Chemistry."
Morgan chuckled, "Did you seriously just try to flirt with me by making a pick up line out of one of your PhD's?"
Spencer smiled bashfully, "Did it work?"
Morgan nodded, "I don't know how, but yeah. It's cute when you try to be normal."
Spencer challenged, "You think I'm cute?"
Morgan replied, "I do. I also think you're handsome, and sexy, and classy, and elegant, and way too smart to even look at me the way you said you did."
"I did say that, I do look at you, and… I fear I always will," Spencer's prodding finger traveled up Morgan's neck as he spoke, hand resting gently on the side of his face. He was shaking. God, he was so nervous. Morgan could feel it, the soft quivering in his hands, the tremor was so alike to the way had shaken when they first met. When their faces got close like they're getting right now. When their chests touched lightly the way they're touching right now. When they were so prepared to seal the deal in their first final kiss just like they are right now. Morgan could almost taste Spencer on him. He felt his warm coffee scented breath on his lips, his soft hands pulling him slowly closer, the ridges of his spine under his light shirt and cardigan. So close… almost there…
JJ's voice rang out, "Hey, Reid, are you in—" as the door burst open and the two jumped apart. She paused, "oh…" Spencer turning the knobs and pretending to wash his hands as Morgan leaned on the side of the sinks trying to look casual. It was a hot mess, and really quite obvious that they were about to do something non-work related before they were rudely interrupted.
Spencer raised his wet hand, face beet red as he replied, "Yeah, I was just—crap!" The soap squirted out from beside the water current as he pounded on it harder than he should have and it landed a couple inches from his zipper. Morgan tossed him a roll of paper towels and stifled a smile as Spencer hurriedly wiped at his pants. JJ began to laugh nervously, "I'm so sorry. I obviously intruded on a… private moment."
Morgan replied, "Well, that's for damn sure."
JJ stepped into the bathroom, grabbing a towel, "Here, I'll help—"
Spencer backed up a foot, eyes wide, "No!"
JJ rolled her eyes, "Come on, Spence, it was partly my fault anyway. I can—"
Spencer reinforced, "No!"
JJ moved closer, raising the towel in her hand toward him and Spencer backed up another foot, covering the stain with his hands and squeaking out, "No!"
"Oh… my God," her eyes clouded with understanding and she dropped the towel, backing slowly out of the bathroom, "I didn't know that you were… that you, um… I'll just… see you later."
Morgan snickered lightly as she left, "Man, you totally have boner."
Spencer groaned, pointing toward the door, "Get out."
Morgan mused, "My game must be on point. Oh, Morgan, you've still got it."
Spencer pointed harder, "Derek, please."
Morgan raised his hands in surrender, "I'm leaving, I'm leaving."
A/N: Tomorrow: CASE CLOSED