Hey guys, so im setting this after Rose gets shot in last Sacrifice.
I sort of started it on a whim, so based on what your opinions are ill decide how far i wish to go with it.
I hope you enjoy, oh and dont worry. There will be plenty of Dimitri ;)
- Amber

I had been shot, I knew it as soon as I awoke, I was also alone, which worried me. I wasn't healed, I was still badly injured and from the feel of it I was bandaged up pretty heavily. " Oh Rose, thank god your awake, i'm so sorry, they wouldn't let me heal you" Lissa burst through the door and onto my bed. " Liss its fine, i'm glad you didn't heal me, I don't think I would be up for sucking away any spirit effects" I tried to laugh and winced in pain.
"It's not funny Rose, you could have died, in fact you almost did, the doctors said you went into cardiac arrest twice" Lissa started to cry, the lightness from the room vanished.
"No Liss, don't cry, i'm fine. You know as much as anyone how hard it is to get rid of me" I hugged her close to me, we lay there until My mother came in.
"Dont ever do that again" My mother sat on the other side of the bed and in the most motherly thing she has ever done, she hugged me just as Lissa was.
"I dont plan too, believe me" I responded.

Liss and my Mum left and once again I was alone, food was brought in, people visited: Abe, Sonya, Ava, Guardians visited, even Christian. There was no Adrian however, not that I really expected him, the one man I did expect however was no where to be seen, every time I would mention him, someone would shrug or change the subject, not only was I growing worried for Dimitri, I was furious at how hungry I was...

"Liss?" Liss and I were watching re runs of Married with Children on the TV in the palace room I was in.
"hmmm?" she responded
"where is Dimitri? " I asked, knowing she wouldnt lie.
"Uh, right now, im not to sure" she was vague, since learning that the bond was gone I couldnt read her mind, it was times like this that I missed our connection.
" Lissa, where is he, he isnt imprisoned again is he, whats happened?" I hid no emotion in my voice and she could tell how concerned I was.
"No, no nothing like that, look Rose, he told me to give you this only after you asked for it, I couldnt bare to see you like this every day waiting for him to burst through those doors, so here"
She handed me a envelope, one with the word Roza written on it. I opened it, confused looking back between this letter and Lissa's guilt ridden face.


I know you wanted me to forgive myself, and I thought I could, but after you were shot, I sat by you every night praying you would awaken, and when you didnt my heart was ripped in two. So many times you have almost died when close to me, I cannot watch my Karma bring you down, I will not see you die. I have left, I wont tell you where, you need to stay and guard Lissa, be the best as I know you are.
I will always love you, you must know this, however me walking out of your life is the best thing I can ever do for you.
Please forgive me Roza.


what...what on earth had just happened? I get shot and he blames himself.
Traitorous tears escaped my eyes, my anger and heartache increasing every second, Lissa had left whilst I was reading to give me privacy and im gad she did. I reached over to the nightstand and found the pocketknife christian gave me for 'the next time im imprisoned" opening It I through it as hard as I could to the wall, I watched as it dug in and clug to the wall. The motion of me pivoting my hand caused me to rip out several stitches and bending over with pain. Clutching my chest I walked over to the wall, but thats when the sobbing started, I didnt make the wall, I dropped where I was crawled into a ball and cried more than I ever had before.

24 months later.

I didnt follow Dimitri, as much as I wanted to I was in no state for a long time and not to long after I read the letter something else had happened, I had found out I was pregnant. Sonya believed it was due to my being shadow kissed at the time and Dimitri's restoration, but either way there was no solid proof.
I became Lissa's guardian, which made me the Queens guardian after she was coroneted. Christian and Lissa were both still happily in love and well I had Elena and Adrian. Adrian was so mad for so so long and I had begun to accept just how much I deserved from him which was nothing, but then something changed, after he learned I was pregnant with Elena, he wanted to be there and help. He and I both apologised for our mistakes, he claimed he always knew Dimitri had my heart and tried to ignore it, but that my loneliness was punishment enough and he wouldnt let me raise a child alone.
Adrian was there throughout all, when Dimitri wasnt, Elena was his child, yet he loved her like she was, and she loved him as if he was her father, however I made sure that Elena, even at the age of two, knew Adrian was not her father. Though hurt by Dimitri I could never remove his role from her life, whether he even knew about her or not.

"Come on muffin, we have to go" I picked up Elena and carried her to the lounge room to put on her shoes.
" Hurry up Rose were going to be late...again" Adrian called from the front door.
"We're coming, we're coming, did you get all the bags?" I called out checking we were 100% ready to leave.
"yes I have it, now come on, the plane wont wait forever" he drummed his fingers against the door.
"oh shit my bag" I ran upstairs getting my hand bag.

" lets get you in the car, before mummy gets back" I heard Elena laugh as she only does when she is with Adrian.
Running back down I closed the door and got in the car.
We boarded the plane and took our seats, I noticed that we weren't the last people to arrive.
" see Adrian, we wernt even last, your such a time freak" I punched his arm.

"Little damphir, if I wasn't,you would be last to arrive" he laughed.

Lissa sat down across from me, " Rose, I know this will be hard but last I heard, the mission was set in Jersey. There will be nothing here but bad memories" Lissa of course was talking about Dimitri, all because our destination was Russia for some Moroi council meeting.

"wiss look what I drawed" Elena sat up from her chair where she was colouring and handed a piece of paper to lissa. It was hard to tell but from the looks of it was a aeroplane,
"Wow, is that the one we are on now?" Liss replied and Elena nodded.

"how about you come here and ill draw with you" Elena nodded her head and held up her hands to be picked up. Lissa sat her on her lap and the two of them coloured.
I smiled watching daughter, it was crazy how much I could love something so fast, even when she was growing inside of me she was the love of my life, and now watching her smile and laugh just warmed my heart, her brown hair was long like mine and her eyes deep brown like Dimitri. She reminded me so much of him it would sometimes pain me to think how he just left.

Elena grew restless during the plane ride but once we landed in Russia it was as though she was in wonderland. She loved it, practically begged me to take her everywhere, I carried her whilst adrian grabbed the bags and led us to the cars outside waiting.
As I had to take my daughter with us I was officially off duty for today but that didnt stop me from keeping watch for threats.
Lissa christian and their four guardians piled into the one car whilst Adrian, Elena and I piled into another. We were led down beautiful streets of siberia, however I recognised the roads and the drivers must have been our own because they didnt seem to be stopping.
"excuse me," I spoke to the driver, " have you been to russia before?" I asked.
"No ma'am" he replied.

"Then stop right now" I commanded, he listened. I called Lissa and watched as her car stopped too.
It was dark, hunting time for Stirgoi and I knew all too well the amount of them that surround this road.
The other car was on the phone to us after I commanded no one get out.
"Guardian Hathaway, why are we stopping?" Eddie asked, he was one of the guards with Lissa.
" ill explain once we are safe, we have to turn around, head to the closest hotel or whatever just get away from this road." he nodded once and both our cars turned around as fast as we could, Elena started crying so I held her until we arrived to a motel.
We had 3 different rooms, guardians, Lissa and christian and Adrian and I with elena.

As soon as morning hit we were up and leaving for our destination, due to our detour last night we needed gas and luck would have it we stopped in bai bai for some, I didnt want to get out of the car, I wanted to stay hidden from this place and its memories, but of course Elena was hungry and not for anything we had, so we ran into the convenient store next door with her.
"How about this, do you want a banana?" I asked as she shook her head.
"cuskit I want" she meant cruskit so I searched for it ass fast as I could.
"oh look, I found it" I smiled at her who was on my hip.

"Rose, Rose hathaway? " a voice from behind me appeared.
I turned to see Oksana. "Oh my gosh, hi how are you?" I give her a quick hug and greeting.
"im well, yourself? Oh she is precious, yours?" she smiled at Elena.
"im well thank you, she is isnt she and yes she's mine" I kissed Elena.
"so how have things been, I hear you were successful with Saving Dimka?" the mention of his nickname through me.
"Ahh, very good, I have my girl and im the queens guardian. Yes it was, he is back to what he was, which is really good, im happy for him" I replied trying to keep my tone even.
"you seem to have everything worked out then, he doesnt know abut her does he?" he question stunned me, I wasnt quite sure how to respond.
"excuse me? What do you mean?" I pretended I didnt understand her hit.
"Rose, its clear just looking at her who the father is, just look at her, and I know that Dimka wouldnt be moping around here if he knew about her"

"I sorry what, Dimitri is here? Thats not right he is supposed to be in America?" I was shocked and I think she could tell.
"He arrived home last week" was all she said.
"Oksana is was great seeing you, say Hello to Mark for me, but I must go now" I hug her and run to the counter, buying Elena her food and walking to the car as subtly as I could.

Dimitri was here.
Dimitri. Was. Here.