Author's note: Kain is easily the most fascinating character in Final Fantasy IV, partly because even he is not sure of the exact proportions of jealousy, obsession, patriotism, and mind control in the volatile cocktail of his motives. This is my take on his thoughts – a private journal of sorts, though probably not written down, and certainly not something he would say out loud – at the beginning of the game, with pride of place given to jealousy and obsession. It was inspired by the beautiful tableau in the opening CG cutscene for the DS version of the game, which shows Cecil and Rosa standing in the sunlight, while Kain watches from the shadows. It is also the first story I've published here that I currently have no intention of expanding into a longer tale, though who is to say what the future might hold?

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy IV and all related characters are the property of Square Enix; before that, they were the property of Squaresoft. No copyright infringement is intended or should be inferred.


He returned today, from Mysidia. But you already knew that, didn't you?

You never overlook his comings or goings. Whether he travels on foot, by sea, or by air, he never escapes the watchful eye of his true love. But I, who have turned away from the exalted path of a Dark Knight to follow in my father's footsteps, scarcely come within the compass of that eye. I can leap until I touch the clouds... but what good is that when my rival is the sun?

Had you turned away from me altogether, it would have been agony, but an agony that, sooner or later, I would have surmounted. But you didn't do that, did you? You told me you loved me... as a brother, and pierced me more deeply than any rejection. Love grows between my two closest friends, and I am supposed to love you – as a friend, as a sister, as anything but what matters most.

Only those who have never endured such an arrangement can sing its praises.

Every time I look at you, I feel myself slipping a little further. Is it my own voice, or some outside influence, that tells me to claim you for my own? I fear the time is coming when it will no longer matter... but more than that, I fear that I will welcome it.

He and I depart tomorrow for the village of Mist. I've already promised him that I will take care of the preparations for our journey, and I will be every bit as devastated as he is when we realize that I have forgotten the healing potions. Of course, by then it will be too late.

I wonder how you will react when you learn that you could have saved him. Will you cry? Will you weep for him who depended on you? And if you weep, will you turn to an old friend – one who always had a shoulder for you to cry on, even when your hero was off saving the world?

Cecil of the Red Wings, you will meet your end. And Rosa... Cecil's Rosa...

You will be my Rosa...

Or you will not be.