A/N:So, here's the sequel guys! I've missed all of you! I've done a lot of writing, and I've written 12 chapters so far. The chapters will be longer, around 3000 words. I'll try to post daily as before. But I work more now, so it might be longer between the postings. We'll see. Hope you guys enjoy this, I've enjoyed writing it anyway... Well, let me know what you think! Much love.
Blaine had been without the cast for two weeks now. It was a relief to be able to move without the wheelchair. He still needed the crutches and he would need physical therapy for a while before he could walk without limping or pain. His father had really succeeded when he kicked him down the stairs that Thursday night. Blaine had already recovered from a concussion, a bleeding liver and five broken ribs. For the moment he was struggling with his foot which had been broken, and his psyche, which had been better. In the last six weeks he had started mourning his dead mother, which he'd been forbidden to do by his father; he'd moved from his father's house to Kurt's family's house and he'd started processing his childhood with psychical and physical abuse. He had been hospitalized after trying sneaking out of the house to kill himself, and, after being in the hospital two weeks, he'd been able to move home. He still struggled with anxiety, depression and sleeping difficulties and during the night he had to have the help of sleeping medicine. Unfortunately, when he napped during the day, which he had to do every day, he was tortured by horrifying nightmares. But they weren't just dreams; they were memories from his past that he had repressed.
Blaine was also in an intense therapy program; he had group therapy twice a week and individual therapy twice a week as well. In between those, he had to speak to his therapist Hannah daily to make sure he wasn't thinking of thoughts related to suicide or to self harm. And now he was forced to physical therapy once a week as well. He had a busy schedule; Monday group therapy and individual therapy; Tuesday physical therapy; Wednesday individual therapy; Friday group therapy. In between he had a lot of homework to do for the therapy. The therapy was exhausting and he was normally asleep in the car before Carole drove out of the garage at the hospital.
Today it was Thursday; the day Blaine had off during the week. At first when he was out of the hospital, he had the intention to do some of his makeup work for school, but he'd given up on that thought the first week. He needed the Thursdays to do nothing. He was going to have to repeat the second semester as a junior, but at last he had accepted that.
The alarm went off waking Kurt. He quickly reached out his hand to stop it from ringing. He didn't want to wake Blaine on a Thursday, knowing that Blaine needed the sleep. Kurt turned to face his boyfriend who was draped across his body. Blaine had his arm across his torso and had his un-bandaged foot tangled with Kurt's legs. Blaine's face was pressed against Kurt's shoulder and had most likely been for a while considering the amount of saliva that had accumulated on Kurt's t-shirt. Kurt smiled at the sight of his boyfriend. He knew he most likely could have let the alarm sound for an hour without Blaine waking from it, but he didn't want to risk waking Blaine up. Kurt ran his hand through Blaine's hair and ran it lightly along his cheek. He leaned down and pressed a kiss on his forehead before starting to untangle himself from Blaine. As soon Kurt started moving Blaine shifted in the bed and turned to the wall. This usually happened when Kurt got out of bed, and it made it easy for Kurt to slip out and head upstairs to his own bathroom for a shower.
After showering, dressing and having a quick breakfast with Burt and Finn, Kurt went back into Blaine's room to gather his satchel and kissing his boyfriend goodbye. As usual, Blaine had shifted back in the bed and was now facing away from the wall, clutching Kurt's pillow close to his torso. Kurt smiled at him and leaned down and pressed a kiss on Blaine's cheek. Blaine sighed in his sleep and started reaching in the bed, probably for Kurt. Kurt held out his hand and when Blaine found it, he immediately grabbed and stopped moving. Blaine's hand quickly went limp and Kurt could remove his own hand. Kurt wanted to reach down, comb his fingers through Blaine's hair and press kisses on Blaine's lips, forehead and eyelids. But, he knew Blaine needed his sleep and he needed to get to school, so he turned around and headed to his car.
Carole woke around 10am and stretched in the big empty bed. She went downstairs and started making coffee. When the coffeemaker started brewing, she headed to Blaine's room. During the three weeks he had been home from the hospital, he had slept in all three Thursdays. Hannah had called Carole last Friday telling her that Blaine needed to start being awake during Thursdays, and that he needed to try to do things "normal", non-sick, people does. If he hadn't been sick right now, he would be at school. Today, Blaine wasn't going to school of course, but he was going to be awake a bit more.
She opened the door to Blaine's room. Blaine was deep asleep, still hugging Kurt's pillow. Carole sat down on the bed and shook Blaine's shoulder lightly. Blaine didn't even stir. Carole looked at him. She trusted Hannah, she knew Hannah was right; Blaine needed to get a more normal rhythm in his life. But, looking at him now it was hard to wake him up, even in his sleep, he looked exhausted. Carole shrugged and shook him a bit rougher while calling his name. After a short while Blaine stirred and opened his eyes and looked at her.
"Good morning Blaine." Carole said.
"I know you're tired, but you know Hannah wants you to be more awake."
"I was thinking we could go to the mall today."
"Mmmm…" Blaine grunted and Carole could see his eyelids started drooping again.
"Come on, honey, try to sit up."
"Mmmm…" Blaine said but didn't move.
"Blaine, I'm gonna sit you up now." Carole said and then took a hold of his shoulders and sat him up on the bed. He blinked and looked around.
"Blaine, I'm gonna to make breakfast to us. Are you going to stay awake and join me in the kitchen?"
"Mmmhmmm…." Blaine said and nodded. He yawned and stretched.
Carole headed out and Blaine looked around in his room. He sighed and got up from the bed. He limped around while he got dressed, before taking his crutches and going to the kitchen, which he found was empty. He looked around for Carole and notice that the backdoor was open. He popped his head outside and saw Carole sitting on the patio sipping coffee while reading the paper. She looked up and smiled at him.
"It's such a good weather today, I thought we could have the first breakfast outside this year!"
"Oh, nice!" Blaine smiled back and sat down at the table.
They ate their breakfast in a comfortable silence while reading the paper.
"Did you say something about the mall?" Blaine broke the silence.
"Yes, it was a thought. How about it?"
"Sounds good." Blaine said.
"Good. I need to shower, but then we can go." Carole said.
"Okay, I'll do the dishes." Blaine said and got up. He started collection the dishes but Carole stopped him.
"How about you do the dishes but I carry it inside? It's hard with the crutches."
"Oh, yes, the crutches, I keep forgetting them."
They parted at the mall after deciding to eat lunch in two hours at the food court. Blaine went in to a book store and bought a new notebook, the one he'd gotten from the hospital was nearly full. The next stop for him was the music store where he lost track of the time and he was late getting to the lunch.
"Sorry Carole, I was in the music store." He said when he reached the table.
"It's okay, hon, I had a book."
"As always." Blaine smiled to her.
"As always." Carole smiled back. "I ordered us a pizza to share, is that okay?"
"Yes!" Blaine said enthusiastically; Carole knew his weakness for junk food.
"Did you find anything to buy?" She asked him.
"Yes, I bought a new notebook and some music sheets. How about you?"
"Yes, I found some stuff." Carole said with a smile.
"Okay, care to elaborate?"
"Not today, no."
"Oh, okay. Sorry." Blaine looked down. He felt like he had passed some magic line. He thought he and Carole were close by now, he thought she would tell him. He felt stupid for asking her about it. He wanted to kick himself for being so curious and inquisitive. Stupid, stupid Blaine. He felt tears stinging in his eyes. Fortunately, the pizza arrived and he could focus on that instead. He glanced at Carole who also had started eating.
"So, music sheets? Missing writing music?" Carole asked.
"Yes, and some lyrics and melodies have come to me lately. I don't know if it will lead to any good, but it will give something to take my mind off memories and stuff."
"Is it on your mind a lot?"
"All the time. Like when we are eating dinner, I snap out of a memory and have no idea what you're discussing. Haven't you noticed?"
"Yes, I've noticed you're not participating in the discussions, but I thought that was because you're tired."
"Well, I'm crazy tired at dinner-time. It doesn't matter if I had group, seen Hannah or been at the hospital for physical therapy, I'm always dead tired on evenings. I don't know what to do about it."
"I think you just have to give it time Blaine. It will get better."
"Yes, Hannah says that too. It's just so boring, as soon as Kurt's home, all I can think about is sleeping. And he has so much homework right now that we haven't had time just for us for a long time. It would be nice to watch a movie together. He comes home, we eat dinner, he starts doing homework and then I fall asleep."
"Aw, honey, the semester will be over soon." Carole said.
"I know, I just miss him."
"So, may I ask what you and Hannah have been talking about lately? It was a long time since you told us anything about the therapy. You don't need to tell me though, just if you want."
"I like telling you things. We've been talking about my mother. You know I wrote her that letter, and we both thought it would do the trick so to speak, but all these new memories that keep popping up give me a new image of her and it's hard for me to merge the new one with the old one. I've always felt like my mom was protecting me when she was sober and the only times she hurt me was when she had been drinking and couldn't protect me from my father.
"But recently, I've remember all these occurrences where she had been really mean to me while being sober. And I don't know what to make of it. It makes her yet another person that was supposed to love me who didn't love me at all." Blaine shrugged when the unease feeling came creeping.
"Blaine, we do love you. We don't have to, but we do. Do you know that?" Carole said, leaning forward and laid her hand on his.
"Yeah, I guess." Blaine shrugged again and took a sip of the water. Carole could see his unease and didn't push it further.
"So, the pizza's gone, should we head home?"
"Yes, let's." Blaine said and got up.
When they reached the car, Carole took Blaine's bags and put them in the trunk while Blaine climbed in to the passenger seat.
Carole shook Blaine awake. It took him a while to understand where he was – in the car, in their driveway.
"Hi sweetie!" Carole said to him. "You've slept for about half an hour, I was thinking we could make cookies."
"Cookies?" Blaine asked.
"Yes, does that sound good?"
"Sure." He said and got off out the car and started moving towards the house. The door stood unlocked and opened.
"You've been inside already?" He asked.
"Yes, just a get rid of some bags."
They got in to the kitchen and Blaine sat down at the table.
"Coffee?" Carole asked.
"Yes, please." He replied.
She started the coffeemaker and started pulling out ingredients to make the cookies. She moved around in the kitchen while humming. When the coffee was done, she poured it in two mugs and handed one to Blaine. Who wasn't taking it from her, since he was fast asleep at the table. Carole smiled at him and decided to let him sleep a while. It would give her some time to make the cookies.
Blaine opened the door to the house. He'd had a good day at school. He'd taken his first test of the year and had gotten an A on it. He was proud and happy and couldn't wait to show his mother. Once he was inside the house, he took off his jacket and tried to reach out to hang it on the hook. It was too high up and he was too small. Like every day. He jumped to reach, but he couldn't reach.
"Blaine! What the fuck are you doing?" His father came out of the kitchen.
"I was trying to hang my jacket." Blaine explained.
"Are you so worthless you can't even hang your jacket?"
"No, I'm too short."
"That's what I told you – you're so fucking worthless. I hate you Blaine, I fucking hate you. I just want to kill you, it would solve so many of my problems."
"I'll deal with him today." His mother came out to the entryway. She held out a hand to Blaine who gladly took it. They headed upstairs. He was so relieved to be out of his father's gaze.
"Mom, I got an A on a…" Blaine started telling her but was quickly cut off.
"You little shit. You're so fucking stupid. I hate you." She shouted at him and slapped him hard across the face.
"Shut the fuck up you little shit. You such a failure Blaine. You only cause your father and me trouble. How I wish you weren't born; our lives were so good before you came in to it. I hate you Blaine. I hate you. Hate you. Hate you." She shouted while slapping him over and over again. Blaine lost his balance from the hits and fell to the ground. His mother started kicking him over and over.
"Please, don't. You're hurting me. Please."
"You're hurting me. Please."
Carole was next to Blaine as soon as she heard him screaming. She took him in her embrace and held him tight when he went from his dream and into the reality. His screams subdued in her embrace and turned to sobs. They sat like that for a while before Carole felt Blaine's body becoming heavier and heavier – he was falling back to sleep.
"Blaine, you can't go back to sleep now. You'll be back in the nightmare. You know this."
Carole didn't get an answer from the sleeping boy in her arms. She felt him tensing again and heard him started mumbling. It didn't take long before he was screaming again. She held him and rocked him slowly back and forth until he stopped crying.
"Why didn't they love me, Carole?"
"Because they were sick, Blaine. They don't know what they were missing."
Blaine stay in Carole's embrace and cried until he was cried out for this time. He sat up and smiled to her. She smiled back to him.
"It smells good in here."
"Want some coffee and cookie?"
"Yes, please. I'm going to gather my notebook as well. I've got some writing to do. The memory and the homework for tomorrow – we're writing about trust."
Carole poured him coffee and plated some of the freshly baked gods. She started making a cake while he sat down writing his memory. When he was done with his memory he sighed and drank the last of his coffee.
"Carole? You want to read it?" He asked her.
"Of course I do, can I do it later, I'm in the middle of baking here."
"Yes, sure." He said.
The tranquillity in the house was soon broke by the arrival of Finn, Puck, Sam and Mercedes. They came into the kitchen.
"Hi mom!" Finn said.
"Hi sweetie!" Carole said. "Hi guys!"
"Baking for the…" Finn said but was cut off by Carole.
"For the weekend, yes."
"Oh, right." He said.
"Do you want any some coffee and sandwiches?" She asked them.
They nodded and started pulling out things from the fridge. Puck sat down at the table next to Blaine.
"Hi. How are you?"
"You know…" He shrugged.
"Yeah…" Puck answered. He did know. They'd become close friends since Blaine had moved in with the Hummels. Puck had had a refuge at Carole's and Finn's house since he was a kid. He was the only one who actually knew what Blaine was going through, except from Lane, the friend Blaine had made in the hospital.
"How are you Puck?"
"Yeah." Blaine said.
They all sat down at the table, talking about the day at school, and Mr Schue's latest project – finding a song that would sum up the school year.
"What are you gonna pick, Puck? Sexy and I know it? Or Sex Pistols No feelings? I don't care?" Mercedes asked him with a grin.
"Fall Out Boy, nah… I don't know." Puck shrugged. Blaine looked at him, the Puck he had come to know did have a lot of feelings and he cared about a lot things. Blaine knew that he had seen a side of Puck that few knew, but he didn't realize how different the images were. Puck looked at Blaine and raised his eyebrows before shrugging.
Blaine zoomed out from there. He was really tired. He was beginning to get a headache. He closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands.
"Blaine!" Carole voice made him jump. He looked around, they were all looking at him.
"What?" He said.
"You're falling asleep at the table."
"No, I was just resting my eyes. I have a headache."
"You want a Tylenol?" she asked him.
"Yeah, why not?"
He got a pill from Carole and swallowed it down.
"Blaine, want to play some Call of Duty?" Sam asked him.
"Nah, I'm good thanks. I've got some homework to do."
"Homework?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, it's for my therapy."
He watched the guys heading to the living room and before long the TV was turned on. Mercedes got up and started chopping vegetables for dinner. They small talked while Blaine opened his notebook and started writing.
Even though I'm a child of abusive parents, I've always found it extremely easy to trust other grownups. I trusted teachers. That was until I found out how easy it was to fool them. Now, I'm angry with myself for trusting them. I really thought they had my best in their interest but they didn't. They closed their eyes for bruises, they choose to believe my lies, and they didn't notice the smell of my mother's breath when she picked me up.
Their betrayal did more damaged than my parents' abuse, at least when it comes to trust. I have never trust my peers. They had always treated me like crap; I'd been physically and mentally bullied all through school.
When I started at Dalton, I started understanding that not everyone my age wanted to beat the living shit out of me or wanted to humiliate me. I didn't make any friends, but I could blend in. It was enough for me at the time, to not be noticed. I've always figured I didn't need friends, it was better to be strong on my own. I needed to be able to trust myself. It was only myself who could get me out of the mess my life was.
Then Kurt came along. From the moment I laid my eyes on him, he had affected me. He was the first in my age I trusted. And he was the first one who ever trusted me with anything. He told me stuff he hadn't told anyone else. He told me that, and that took my breath away. His trust in me changed me. From that moment I knew I'd do anything for him.
It took time, too much time, but I started to trust him. I wish I'd trust him enough to tell him about my situation at home before it became evident for him. I guess I'll always try to make it up from him. From the moment I started trusting Kurt, many things fell in place. I started trusting more people; Carole, Hannah, Finn and Burt… I think I always will have a hard time starting trusting new people. I just so wished I could turn back time and be able to tell Kurt my story before he found out of his own.
Carole glanced at the table and found Blaine staring at his notebook with tears running down his cheeks. She cleaned her hands and went to him. She leaned down and put her arm on his shoulder. He jumped at the touch and looked up at her. His eyes were filled with tears. He blinked fast a couple of times and wiped away the tears with his hand.
"I think I'll go to my room." He said with a thick voice.
"Are you okay, honey?" Carole asked him with a low voice.
"No." He whispered. "But I…" He shook his head and looked at her with eyes filled with emotions. She nodded, he couldn't speak now; the house was filled with people he didn't know really well. She helped him up and gave him the crutches.
Kurt came home half an hour later. He was so tired; the pace at Dalton right now was getting to him. He just wanted to cuddle up next to Blaine and fall asleep and sleep for a week. But it was Thursday, and that meant it was a Kurt-and-Mercedes night. It would be nice, he knew it, but it didn't get rid of the fact that he was exhausted. He needed to make their evening about studying. He had a history test tomorrow he needed to study for. He sighed as he got out of his car and went inside.
In the living room he greeted Finn, Puck and Sam, all engrossed in the game. He headed to the kitchen where he received a much more warm welcome. Mercedes hugged him tightly, they hadn't seen each other last week, Kurt had been too tired then. Carole hugged him as well.
"Kurt, before anything, I think you're needed in Blaine's room." She whispered in his ear during the hug.
"Mercedes, I just need to freshen up before dinner."
"Yeah, yeah, go hug your gorgeous boyfriend." She smiled to him. He smiled back before heading to Blaine's room.
He opened the door and found his boyfriend in the bed, under the covers. The lights were off in the room. Kurt frowned and switched on the light on the bedside table. He could clearly see Blaine was crying, his whole body was shaking. Kurt removed his cardigan and his shoes before he slipped in under the covers. Blaine jumped slightly when Kurt laid down on the bed. Kurt removed his headphones so he could talk to him. Kurt forced his arm between Blaine's neck and the pillow before placing his other hand on Blaine's shoulder and pulling him against him. By this he forced Blaine to shift and face Kurt instead of the wall. Blaine's face was swollen from crying. Kurt hugged him tightly and felt Blaine melt towards his body.
"Blainey? I love you." Kurt whispered to him.
"I'm so sorry Kurt. I'm so, so sorry." Blaine sobbed into Kurt's embrace.
"For what sweetie?"
"Oh, Kurt. I'm so sorry."
"Ssh… It's okay honey. Try to calm down so you can talk to me."
It took a couple of minutes for Blaine to calm down. He looked at Kurt with eyes filled with tears.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about my parents before you found out of your own. I did trust you, I did. I'm so sorry Kurt. I'll always regret that. I'm so sorry Kurt. I was going to tell you. You need to know that."
"It's okay Blainey."
"No, it's not. It's not okay. I didn't tell you, I didn't tell you. I'm so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry." He continued to apologise.
"Blaine, it's okay. You did tell me. I love you."
"I love you too. You're the best."
"No, you got that all wrong, Blainey. You're the best." Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine's lips.
Blaine was quick and placed one of his hands on the back of Kurt's head and pressed him closer. He let his tongue into Kurt's mouth. Kurt welcomed it with his. Blaine weaved his hand in Kurt's hair and let the other hand trail its way down Kurt's back down to his ass. They kissed fervently. Blaine shifted in the bed so Kurt was on his back and Blaine was above him. Blaine let his body down on Kurt and they both moaned when their erections touched. Blaine moved his body up and down to create friction. His looked in Kurt's eyes, blown with lust. Kurt pushed his hips up and their erections pressed together even harder. Blaine leaned down to Kurt's ear.
"Oh, honey, you're so beautiful like this. You're so fucking hot."
Kurt flexed his hips again and it was all they needed. The increased friction made them both come. Blaine collapsed on top of Kurt, panting and slowly coming back to reality. He looked up at Kurt, still coming down from his high. He slowly opened his eyes and gazed at Blaine.
"Hi." Blaine whispered.
"I love you."
"Love you too. I need a shower."
"We are in a house filled with people, if we both emerge from the room at the same time looking like this, it may raise suspicions…" Kurt said.
"Yes, you're right. You go first. I'll take a shower after dinner. I think I'll stay here a while longer."
"You okay though?"
Blaine shrugged. Kurt pressed a kiss on his forehead and started moving from the bed.
"Blaine, it would so much easier for me to get to that shower if you weren't lying on top of me."
"What if I don't want you to go?"
"I don't want to move either, but Mercedes is waiting for me."
"Right, it's Thursday." Blaine said and moved from Kurt. "Which day is Blaine-and-Kurt-day?" He said with a smile.
Kurt leaned down and kissed Blaine again.
"Every day is a Blaine-and-Kurt-day."