Welcome back guys. This pairing is a little... strange for me, but I'll try my best to do it justice. Phineas is around 17 here, Candace in her early twenties.

WARNING: this chapter contains incest! DO NOT READ IF THAT IS NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA.

How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.

Will do all couples suggested; yuri, het or slash.

This time: Phineas/Candace

Disclaimer: don't own.


Candace never knew boyfriend had such a dirty side.

It started when he slid into bed. Well, actually, it might have started when her family had a barbeque and they'd both gotten trashed. But he hadn't actually made any advances on her, so she'd just gone to bed. An hour later and he had followed, one arm going around her waist and one hand pressing something against her mouth. Confused, she had opened it to ask what the hell he was doing, but that only caused him to shove the object in.

'Shh,' he'd murmured, his voice so low it was unrecognizable. It had taken her a moment to figure out it was a gag. This had made her relax a little, but she was still a bit weirded out.

After the actual sex, she found herself collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily through her nose. It had been absolutely mind blowing. So different to the timid sex she was used to. Sure, it was a great ego booster when he'd run his hands over her like she was the most beautiful and delicate thing in the world, but after a while it got a little tiring. Another thing that had been better was he hadn't spoken once, just used his hands to direct her into the position he wanted. Usually he talked non-stop, and that was certainly more than just a little tiring.

One of his hands went to the back of her head and tugged at the material there, untying the gag. It dropped out of her mouth and she picked it up. It was so dark she couldn't actually see it, but she knew it wasn't goodbye. Oh yes, she'd be using this a lot from now on. Smiling, she placed a kiss on his chest. "Never knew you had that in you, Jeremy."

At the sound of her voice, Jeremy's whole body stiffened, and he shoved hard at her shoulders, causing her to slide off him and land on the mattress beside him. "Jeremy, what the hell!"

She heard him fumble for the lamp and switch it on, light seared her eyes for a moment, and then she saw it wasn't Jeremy at all. Her mouth went dry and she automatically grabbed at sheets to cover her naked body. Not that there was any point. "PHINEAS! WHAT THE FUCK!" she screamed.

"I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU, CANDACE!" Phineas bellowed, shifting so he was as far away from her as he could without actually falling off the bed. It seemed he too was reluctant to actually get up, lest she see him naked. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN ISABELLA'S BED?"

"This isn't Isabella's bed, you moron!" her voice dropped to a whisper after Ferb began banging on the wall, a clear sign that they were being too loud. "She switched with me after finding a spider in the wardrobe!"

"Why the fuck did nobody tell me?" he hissed back, but his anger had already drained out of him. Candace could see it being replaced by revulsion and horror. "Don't you think I should have been informed so I didn't, oh, you know, accidentally screw my sister?"

It was weird, hearing such bad language from him. Although that shouldn't have been, considering he'd just given her multiple orgasms by gagging her and having his way with her. Her already delicate sanity was stretched to the limit, and she decided she didn't want to discuss the moral details of what they just did. Huffing a bit, she pulled the blankets up to her chin and glared at him. "You make a habit of gagging your girlfriends?"

Actually, everything all made sense now. His body was different to Jeremy's. Not drastically, but enough for her to notice. She'd just chalked it down to her being drunk. The sex and the shock of finding out it was her brother had sobered her up considerably, but she was still a little light headed, enough that she was actually letting her eyes roam over his bare chest, remembering how she'd run her hands over it minutes before.

Phineas crossed his arms, and the movement made her eyes snap back up to his face, flushing a little. He didn't seem to notice. "What I do with my girlfriend is none of your business."

"It seems it is," oh, she was looking forward to the fight this would bring. "Considering you did it with me as well."

"Yeah, well," Phineas was obviously searching for a way to get her back for that comment. "No wonder Jeremy's always so laid back, considering what you're like in bed."

They both winced. That was definitely not the right thing to say. Candace was used to receiving compliments about her performance from Jeremy, and they always pleased her. It was a hell of a lot different receiving compliments about her performance from her brother.

Why on earth couldn't it have been Ferb? She would have been totally okay with accidentally fucking Ferb. He was, after all, not blood related. And a British god.

But that wasn't the point.

The point was, she fucked her brother. Her blood brother. And she had enjoyed it.

Besides, the Ferb thing wouldn't have worked, anyway. He didn't have a girlfriend. And with the way he dressed and spoke, she doubted he ever would. Most likely, she'd be getting a step-brother-in-law from him. Not a sister-in-law.

A thought struck her. She glanced over at her brother and cleared her throat. "Uh, you did use a condom right?"

"No," he sounded petulant, like a spoilt child. "Isabella's on birth control."

"Great," she buried her head in her hands. "I'm going to get pregnant and have a mutant baby. Wonderful. My life is complete."

She felt like crying, she really did. But when the first sniffle came, Phineas immediately scooted closer and put an arm around her, murmuring, "please, for the love of God, don't cry, Candace."

They both stiffened when they realized her hands were no longer holding up the blankets and they had pooled at her waist, revealing her bare chest. Phineas cleared his throat and looked away as she yanked up the covers again. "This is fairly obvious," she started in a wavering voice, "but if you tell anyone, I kill you."

"I'm not that stupid," he snorted.

"I mean it," she hissed. "Not anyone. Not even Ferb."

"Okay! I get it!"

His arm was still around her shoulders. Despite the awkwardness, embarrassment and horror of what they'd unknowingly just done, the contact was kind of relaxing. She should be moving away and finding her clothes, but instead she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"If I weren't so drunk, I'd be kicking your ass right now," she muttered. It was a lie and they both knew it. She was only vaguely tipsy now.

"If I weren't so drunk, I'd be running right now," he countered. Yet another lie, but she didn't call him out on it.

"This is wrong," she sighed, but she couldn't find it in herself to move.

"I know."

A brief pause.

"So, am I better than Jeremy?"

"Phineas!" she squealed, flushing bright red and shoving him away from her.

Candace never knew brother had such a dirty side.


So out of character.

Like I said before, with such weird pairings, you kind of have to make it that way.

I hope you enjoyed, all you weirdos that requested it.

(Okay, so maybe I enjoyed writing it. Don't judge me.)

Brief explanation of what happened, in case it was too confusing: Candace lives with Jeremy, but Linda and Lawrence had a barbeque and invited Candace and Jeremy. Phineas invited Isabella. Ferb invited nobody because he's such a loner.


Anyway, Candace and Isabella switched rooms and forgot to tell Phineas. Candace went to bed early because she was frustrated that Jeremy wasn't responding to her flirting. Isabella went to bed a little bit afterwards and Phineas decides to have a little fun and follows after about 45 minutes. Thinking she's still in the room Linda and Lawrence gave her, he gets into bed and instead finds Candace. He's too drunk to notice the difference and things happen. You know what things ;P

Also, Phineas is a dirty, dirty boy.

And Candace liked it.

Okay, that's too much chocolate for me.

Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. I'll probably do another Phineas/Candace if enough people request it.

Please review in any couples you'd like! Next time will be Ferb/Isabella!