I'm doing a small story (probably three or four chapters) of the lead up to Katniss and Peeta's first time. Just a small thing I started up for the fun of it, because I was listening to Take You Down by Chris Brown.
We go to bed like every night, slip quietly into pajamas – Peeta had brought his over long ago – and crawl under the covers. Once the lights go out, we tangle together until we feel safe, or as safe as we can without the darkness overwhelming, and let ourselves succumb to sleep.
I wake in a cold sweat, terror coursing through my body. I dreamt of Finnick, of the way the Mutt bit right into his neck, the way his head-
Small tremors run through me. I pull the covers closer, careful not to take any from Peeta so as not to wake him. It didn't matter, though, because he was already stirring. His eyes open, and when he sees me huddled at the corner of the bed his eyes turn sad. He grabs onto my hand and then I'm suddenly crying. I allow him to pull me to his bare chest, allow him to wrap his strong arms around my shoulders as I encircle his waist with my own.
I bury my head in his chest. He knows that I usually don't like to talk about these things – he just holds me and kisses me asleep. Tonight is no different, as he places a soft his on the top of my head. I instinctively tilt my head up so he can capture my lips with his. My arms come from his waist to around his neck.
His grip tightens when his arms fall to my waist, across my silky nightgown. I had just recently starting wearing it, instead of my usual tank top and shorts. In the back of my mind, I know I made the transition because of him. To know that he still wanted me like he used to before the hijacking. Before the war. I'm no longer the Girl on Fire, the beautiful girl up in flames, nor the Mockingjay, whose voice gave the nation hope. Now I am just a scarred shell of both, on the inside and out. The way Peeta acts toward me, the way he looks at me in this gown makes me feel worthy again. Reminds me of how much he still feels for me, emotionally and physically.
I'm brought back to reality when I hear a soft moan come from him, and then I realize that my hands had been inching down his body without even noticing; so far, in fact, that I had just dipped on hand in the back of his pants. I immediately retreat as my cheeks heat up. "I'm sorry." I try to turn from him, but he holds fast.
"It's all right." The smouldering look in his eyes makes me shiver, but in a good way. That fire that I've felt blaze within me before has sparked, but much stronger than in front of the cameras. This is new; this is just us. He pulls me back to him and into a kiss, his hands running up and down my sides, making me shiver.
I run my fingers through his golden curls as I keep us connected. I feel him against my thigh, which only makes the fire burn brighter as a small gasp comes from me. I instantly regret it, because he moves his hips away from mine and breaks the kiss.
I cover his mouth with one hand to silence him, then pull away. "It's fine, Peeta. Really." I can't help but glance down to look at the large bulge in his pants, then blush and look back up, hoping he didn't catch it. He still looks semi-ashamed, so I lean back toward him and kiss his jaw. He gently pulls me back toward him, laying my head on his chest as he settles back down in the covers.
He kisses the top of my head and murmurs in my hair, "We should get some more sleep."
The thing is, I'm not tired anymore. The only thing I feel is the fire, the only thing I want to feel. I run one hand up and down his chest. "I'm not tired."
He chuckles, and then gasps when my hand runs a bit too low. "Katniss…" He knows I'm not done playing, and at this point I want to see how far he'll let me go. I want to explore him, to learn this new and foreign territory.
"Let me touch you," I whisper as I let one finger run down his length over his clothes, and keep myself from smiling at the groan that comes from him. I stop at the tip, then look back at him to make sure this is okay; the sounds are right, but I've still never done anything remotely like this before. The closest was on the Quarter Quell beach.
He nods and lets his head fall back on the pillow, his eyes closed and mouth open. He's never seemed more beautiful to me. I turn back to his covered erection and am now overcome with nerves. What am I supposed to do? I take a deep breath and hook a finger in his pants, not sure if I should pull them down or not.
I startle when Peeta reaches down and takes off his bottoms for me, leaving him completely bare.
I can't help but stare at him – when I said he has never seemed so beautiful to me before, I hadn't seen this yet. "Peeta…" My eyes dart up to his face, then quickly away when I see that he is watching me. I run a hand down his chest, and then farther, until my fingers are nestled in the soft golden curls at his base. I'm working up the nerve to look down just a little farther. My eyes slowly trail to his length, and then go wide. I never realized how…large he was. Then again, I've never seen one fully erect, either. I lift my hand and trail a finger over the large vein underneath.
He moans my name, which almost causes me to moan in reply. The desire in that one breath was more than I've ever heard, and when I look up and into his half-lidded eyes, I can feel my thighs moistening.
I grab hold of him, surprised at how soft the skin, and move my hand down experimentally. He groans and bucks his hips, which I take as a good sign. I bite my lip in concentration, praying that everything I do for him does not cause pain.
He seems to notice my troubles, because I feel his hand on mine. I look up to see him smiling at me. "Let me show you." He secures my hand around him, showing me how hard to grasp, and helps to set the pace.
"I think I've got it." I push him away with my other hand, which causes him to laugh through his gasps of pleasure. I see a dribble of pearly liquid come out of the slit, and I'm not so pure as to not know what that is. I hesitate for a second, then stick my thumb in it, swirling it around his head before grasping him again. I pick up the pace, shifting my eyes from his face, to what is in front of me.
"Oh, Katniss, that feels so good." He thrusts in my hand a few times, his eyes closed and brow knitted tightly. His breathing is coming in faster, shorter pants and his moans get louder, always my name.
I think I know what is about to happen. I move my hand up and down much quicker, wanting to get him there, and it doesn't take long before he's pulling my hand away and pushing me aside.
I watch as he comes on his stomach, still a bit dazed over how quickly he pushed me aside.
He looks over at me apologetically as he grabs his pants to wipe himself off with. "Sorry, I just didn't want to get that all over you."
I can't help but laugh. "It's fine, Peeta." We stare at each other for a minute, but no uncomfortably. He then leans forward and presses his lips against mine in a sweet kiss.
The kiss is full of many different things. Thanks for what I had just done, no doubt, and then there's that other thing, the one thing I'd rather not think of.
He begins to inch his hand up my nightgown, but I pull away. He looks at me confused, so I give him a small smile and push him back down on the bed. "Not tonight. I'm tired." I can tell he's disappointed, but takes it nonetheless. I lay down so my head is on his chest, one leg between his – though it's different with him completely naked – and a hand splayed on his stomach.
He leans down and kisses my forehead, then whispers, "Good night."
I kiss his chest and whisper the same, before falling into a peaceful slumber.