Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the creators, actors, or anyone involved with the making of this wonderful SyFy show, Warehouse 13. I am not using this literary work for monetary gain. I am only borrowing these characters and previously created plots to have a basis for my imagination. In other words, I love this show. I never want it to end.
A/N I was inspired by tonight's episode after Claudia was fighting with that woman. I was like, "What would happen if Warehouse 13 was light and funny, and HG was back and she taught Claudia kempo?" Then I was like, I have to write something.
"Awh HG this is so boooring. When can we get to the jabs, kicks ,and punches?" Claudia said, while looking down at a clunky manual of Kempo terms. Claudia had asked HG to help her with some self defense moves, since she was officially a warehouse agent who may need to defend herself. Unfortunately for Claudia, HG liked to approach the situation the old fashion way.
"Before you can fully understand the physical aspect of kempo, you must first understand the history behind it, and the mental processes needed to perform it at the peak of your ability." HG replied, looking up from her science magazine. They had been sitting at that table for about two hours now, and the agents were getting bored. Claudia was reading about how the art form originated, how it gained popularity, and how one can use it today. It was more boring than the Warehouse manual, that was for sure.
"HG, I am already past the whole mental preparedness section, the history, and all of that boringness that I surely do not need to know about in order to give someone a black eye. Pleaseeee can we learn the basics? I will finish the manual this weekend! Well, after grumbly Pooh Bear gets what he wants." She said, as she haphazardly tossed the manual on the nearest table. HG looked up from her magazine, and gave Claudia a look just as Myka walked in.
" Hi guys, whatcha doin'? Myka asked, curiously. HG was about to reply when Claudia cut in.
"Oh, HG was going to teach me kempo, but all she wants me to do is read this ridiculously gigantor manual, and then call it a day. I mean, there is only so much reading I can do in one sitting! I am not you guys, the walking encyclopedia's!" Claudia replied, exasperated.
"Oh, well you know HG, when I taught Claudia how to do some cool self defense moves, she was pretty awesome, you know! Then, she taught me to hack the grid. That girl is smart!" Myka said, and looked at Claudia with pride.
" Thank's Myka! You were pretty rad at hacking. You know HG, if you are too busy for silly little Claudia, Myka and I can always-"
"No, that is quite alright. Myka, do you mid if I use you in my demonstration, since you already know the basics from when I taught you?" HG asked.
"Sure. I've got time." Myka replied. The three women walked out to the back yard, where it was more open.
"I will teach you the basics right now Claudia, only if, as you mentioned, you read the manual this weekend. The whole literary work. I also want a one page paper on the importance of a sound mind and body in martial arts. And by one page, I mean one page front and back. No more, no less, and no big handwriting. No computer type."
"Oh alright. You are just like Artie!" Claudia shot back, a playful tone in her voice. ."Thanks HG"
"Myka, you stand over there. First, I will teach you the Obscure Wing. As I am sure you have read, this move can help you ward off an attacker who has grabbed your shoulder from behind you." HG explained, as she walked toward the front of Myka.
"Myka, I want you to put your hand on my shoulder." HG instructed. " From here, you are going to use your left hand to pin the attacker's hand against your shoulder and then deliver a right elbow jab to the attacker's solar plexus. Like this." Hg said, as she was about to demonstrate. Myka put her had on HG's shoulder. HG took her hand opposite Myka's and grabbed on to her hand, holding it in place. She then shifted her body to the left, and served an unsuspecting blow to the other woman's middle. She obviously did not hit her hard, but it was enough to make her presence known.
"Uh, HG, what in the Warehouse's name is a solar plexus?" Claudia asked, confused.
Myka answered, "The solar plexus, also known as the Celiac plexus, is the area on the coronal plane in the center of the body. It is behind the stomach." Every one looked at her funnily.
"You still find this as a shock? I was pre- med before I was pre -law before I joined the secret service, you know." Myka countered.
" Okay then Myka. Thank you for your enlightenment." Claudia said, relieved.
"Righty ho then, let's get back to the lesson. That blow was only one of two moves. The second move involves the follow up. After the previous move, follow up with a right hammer fist to the groin and then drive the right elbow back up into the chin. This should create enough separation for you to step forward in safety. Let me show you the complete move." HG said, as she got in the ready position. Once again, Myka placed her hand on HG shoulder, and HG followed through by clenching her hand, jabbing her stomach, hitting a little lower, and gently pushing her elbow up to make contact with Myka's chin.
"There, and that is the sequence. You want to try?" HG encouraged Claudia.
"Uhm, sure." She replied meekly.
"Why don't your try it on me first." HG ordered.
"Mmmk." Was the young agent's only reply. HG stood behind Claudia, and Claudia went through the motions. When she got to the right elbow to the chin part, her foot slipped and she tripped HG, resulting in the two women falling in a heap on the grassy ground.
"How's that for flailing?" Claudia asked, smiling.
"Pretty grand, I'd say." HG told her, smiling as well. "Why don't we try that again." So they did. This time, Myka tried it with Claudia. They did just fine, and HG was beaming.
"Splendid! Now, why don't you do it again, only with me this time?" The third time was no different, Claudia did a satisfactory job.
"Okay, now that you have that move down in slow motion, why don't we step it up a notch? I want you to stand over there, about 15 feet from me. Myka, I want to to quietly sneak up on Claudia, and grab her shoulder like we have been practicing. In the meantime, you and I Claudia are going to talk about hacking." Seeing what HG was trying to do, Myka quietly slipped off into the woods behind the young agent.
"Oh, you know, each computer has it's own pair of flaws, and some types of computers…." Claudia started to ramble. HG replied here and there. After about two minutes of this back and forth conversation, Myka put's her hand on Claudia's shoulder. Snapping back into reality, Claudia immediately goes into fighting mode, delivering a perfectly choreographed Obscure Wing move. HG was very impressed, as was Myka. Claudia was careful not to actually hurt her friendly attacker.
"Well done, Claud." Myka congratulated.
"Yes, a good job indeed. Now, let me teach you about the Raining Claw."
A/N Chapter One, a success. Should I continue? I have some funny idea's that involve Pete, and Claudia's new fighting skills. The Raining Claw move in real life is pretty hilarious. Please Review!