Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke!
At Touou (Aomine's POV)
Aomine yawned for the hundred and twentieth time that morning. Remedial class was so boring that he even had to resort to counting his yawns to keep himself awake. He silently cursed the teacher for being an old bore and headed to his usual spot, the rooftop, for his nap.
As he walked down the hallway towards the stairs, a blushing Sakurai Ryou popped out in front of him unexpectedly and stuttered nervously:
"I'm s-sorry for bothering you Aomine-san, but a really c-cute girl was looking for you."
Ryou's face was a great shade of red, and he looked as if he was hyperventilating and could drop dead any moment. The girl must be really cute to shake Ryou up like this. Aomine gave him an interested look:
"Cute girl? Where? Is she big?" He spread his arms wide, made an obscene grabbing motion and grinned when Ryou's blush deepened furiously and he shook his head madly.
"I told her you'll be at the rooftop! I'm sorry for not bringing her to you!" Ryou shouted rather frantically. Aomine smirked:
"Perfect, just where I was going. I'll go check her out now. Bye."
He continued his walking to the rooftop, waving his hand at a relieved Ryou.
Cute girl huh...
Ryou better be telling the truth, or he get it for raising his expectations.
Aomine yawned again as he he climbed up the stairs. It wasn't rare to have girls asking him out, and he always rejected them knowing that they only wanted him for his looks. Once they found out about his basketball obsession, which he prioritised over the girls he dated, they dumped him as fast as they would dump garbage. He didn't really care though, those girls were the kind who always got around from guy to guy and he never liked any of them anyway. He was satisfied with Horikita Mai and his right hand. It meant that he was free from pregnancy cases too.
Reaching the rooftop, Aomine swung the door open and stepped into the sunlight. He groaned and shied his eyes from the glare of the sun. As his vision cleared, a wonderful sight was the first thing presented to his dark-blue eyes:
The back view of a girl (she was rather tall for a girl) with long flowing blonde hair which fluttered in the wind just like a kite, greeted him. Aomine let his eyes travel up and down the girl's body, which was hugged by a flowery pink dress which trailed to the ground. So Ryou wouldn't get it after all. He whistled softly as he admired the blonde's butt which was framed by the dress, giving it a nice roundness to it. It seemed to call out to him and Aomine felt an irrational urge to grab them.
And so he did.
Striding forward, he reached his hand out, grabbed the butt and gave it a tight squeeze. The babe let out an unladylike (more manly than anything) yelp and swivelled on her red heels angrily. Her furious eyes seemed to be boring holes into Aomine but Aomine paid no attention to the irate girl. Instead, his attention was focussed on the girl's very humongous assets. If Aomine thought the girl's ass was the most amazing thing in the world, then he was wrong, for her boobs were better. Big and firm and round, they were practically sticking out of her body. They were so heavy that the babe had to cross her arms on order to support them. Aomine swore he drooled a little. His eyes then travelled to the girl's face.
Her eyes had such defiance and were so big; they looked as if they would pop out of their sockets. And yet, Aomine liked it, for such anger and feistiness made her look even hotter. He also ignored the niggling thought in his mind telling him that the girl looked reaallly familiar.
He was about to do something rather uncharacteristic of him, to grab the babe and kiss the anger out of her at that very moment, but the babe chose the wrong time to open her mouth:
"Aominecchi! What do you think you are doing? Grabbing my butt like that!?"
Aomine froze upon hearing the girl's words, and he stopped his advance towards the girl. Unfortunately, in his momentum, he lost his balance and crashed head-first into the ground, his arms flailing helplessly as he went down.
Still reeling from the shock, Aomine stayed on the ground for a moment, his mind attempting to process what had just happened. He had probably imagined it, but he was sure the girl sounded like Kise. Hell, she even called him the way Kise did!
In his state of shock, he failed to notice the girl's panic and only snapped out of it when he was whacked repeatedly on the head. He sprang up to his feet immediately, attempting to hide his embarrassment with a few fake coughs.
After a few rounds of fake-coughing, he finally looked at the girl's face. And he ended up leaping back in another bout of shock.
That was Kise's face on a girl's body alright... With boobs and the hair and everything. Something was seriously wrong here. He must be in one of his crazy dreams about Kise right now, only this time; this dream was really and extremely weird. Why on earth would he dream about Kise turning into a girl? And he was checking him out too!
Bad Daiki, bad bad Daiki! Wake up from this terrible nightmare!
Aomine started slapping himself, alarming the slightly concerned Kise. He attempted to stop him.
Grabbing Aomine's arm tightly, Kise cried out:
"Aominecchi! Stop stop! What are you doing?"
Shit, girl Kise sounded so real, and she even felt real! Aomine's slapping grew more frantic; and he started slapping himself faster.
BEGONE, GIRL KISE! GO BACK TO DREAMLAND!
Kise was now terrified for Aomine; the ace of Touou looked constipated and crazy with his self-slapping. He tried to stop him again:
"Aominecchi! Stop this right now! I don't know what you are doing but stop it right now! HELP! SOMEBODY! AOMINECCHI'S GONE CRAZY!" Kise, at a total loss for what to do, started calling for help.
The brown package, shaken by the haphazard motions of the two boys, fell out of Kise's pocket and landed on the ground. Kise looked at it and all of a sudden, inspiration struck him.
This is what Momoicchi meant by 'things get nasty"! Well done, Momoicchi! You expected this and wanted me to give Aominecchi his medicine!
Kise released Aomine's arm and bent down, picking up the package and ripping it open.
The thing that slid out of the package was not what he envisioned.
C-condoms?! Aominecchi's medicine is condoms?! Kise felt embarrassed, confused and slightly scandalised. He picked up the square packet and waved it in front of Aomine's face trepidly. Unfortunately, it had an adverse effect.
SHE HAS CONDOMS WITH HER! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING ABOUT?!
Aomine started clutching his head and pulling his hair out at this unexpected development.
THIS IS KISE YOU ARE DREAMING OF! HELLO, AOMINE DAIKI? KISE RYOUTA? WHO IS A GUY IN REALITY? G. U. Y?
Kise waved the packet back and forth, unaware of Aomine's internal screaming.
After what seemed like forever, Aomine eventually gave up on chasing 'girl Kise' away from his mind and stopped, panting a little from his violent movements before.
Kise let out a sigh of relief.
Thank goodness! The medicine worked!
"Aominecchi! You were scaring me just now! What were you doing? You never told me anything about your disease!"
Aomine then realised that 'girl Kise' was not a figment of his imagination, but just a crossdressing Kise who had a condom with him for some weird reason. Which was even weirder (and terrifying), in his opinion. He turned red on remembering his freak-out a few minutes before.
"K-Kise! What the hell are you doing in that?" He pointed his finger rudely at the blonde. Kise beamed:
"Don't you think I look pretty? Do you like me, Aominecchi? I wore this just for you!" He twirled around for a greater effect, struggling to hold his gigantic 'boobs' up in the process. Aomine was disturbed but strangely excited at such a sight. He ignored the excited part though; it was probably from the heat of his freak-out session and the sight of those large knockers.
"Y-y... I mean NO! IT'S HIDEOUS! ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS!" Aomine shouted out the last part to emphasise his 'disgust' at such a thing, but at the sight of Kise's teary eyes, he relented immediately:
"I was kidding! It's good, okay? Don't cry!" Aomine panicked a little, fearing an onslaught of tears from the blonde.
Kise cheered up at his words, his forlorn expression disappearing instantly.
"Aominecchi!" He ran forward in an attempt to hug Aomine, but failed because of his 'assets' gettng into the way. Aomine was glad for that though, he didn't want to be glomped by a crossdressing Kise.
"Aominecchi, do you like me?" Kise repeated his previous question, fluttering his eyes dramatically at Aomine in an attempt to attract him.
Aomine felt faint. Here, was Kise crossdressing and trying to woo him and he didn't know whether to be mean or nice to the blonde. On one hand, expressing his extreme disgust would deter Kise's wooing attempts. On the other hand, it looked as if the blonde had spent a lot of effort in crossdressing, with his sweat pouring down his face like a waterfall and his pitiful attempts to support his fake boobs. His long debate ended and the soft side of Aomine gave in. He decided to acknowledge Kise's efforts:
"Er... Yea... I guess I do?"
Kise felt ecstatic at these words:
"That's great! Aominecchi, I like you too! I'm so happy!" Kise's joy was overflowing and infecting Aomine as well, and he couldn't stop a small smile from forming too. He was about to indulge himself in the moment but the ring of the school bell cut his thoughts off:
Aomine snapped out of his daydream:
"OH CRAP! I'M LATE FOR CLASS. SEE YOU!" and he took off at the speed of light.
Kise didn't mind his departure though, he was currently replaying Aomine's words in his head and celebrating his success.
Ahahaha, Aominecchi likes me! He likes me!
He took out his phone and called Momoi to tell her the good news.
"Momoicchi! Aominecchi said he likes me! My plan was successful, Momoicchi!"
Momoi's enthusiasm seemed to mirror his own and the two chatted animatedly for a while more before Kise dialled Midorima.
"Good job. Asking Momoi was a smart move. But don't think this is the end, you'll still have to work hard to maintain this friendship." came the curt reply. Static crackled noisily as Midorima let out an undignified yelp over the phone and a new voice took over:
"Kiseeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Takao cheered. Kise grinned and replied:
"Takaocchiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Aominecchi likes me! He said so himself after I crossdressed for him!"
"Well done, Kise! I knew you could do it! I'm sure you looked very pretty! Ahaha Aomine would be a fool not to like you!"
Kise's heart swelled at Takao's praise. Takaocchi was such a nice person!
"But... Do you have any ideas on how to sustain your relationship?" Takao enquired, his ulterior motives unknown to Kise.
"Eh... Not yet... But I'll think of some! Any advice, Takaocchi?"
The silence on the other end went on for a while, and when Takao's voice returned to the phone, he seemed as if he was hiding his giggles.
"Kise, do you remember the help you offered to me when I was chasing Shin-chan?"
"Eh? Help? You mean...The Guide?"
"Yes! That's the one! It was pretty effective for me! I got Shin-chan jealous and all! Why don't you use it on Aomine?" Takao's voice sounded triumphant as a loud grumbling noise sounded in the background over the phone.
"Eh? But that's only for wooing your crush! Not for friends!" Kise pointed out.
The phone was taken over again, this time, by Midorima.
"Did you forget what I said to you before? Aomine's hatred for you runs very deep. You'll need a power as strong as the level of wooing to make him like you."
Kise nodded as Midorima's words came back to him.
"Yes, that makes sense. Okay, I shall use the Guide on Aominecchi! Thank you Midorimacchi! Help me thank Takaocchi too! I'll go read the Guide now. See you, Midorimacchi!" He hung up.
On the other end of the phone (Midorima's POV)
Takao broke out into loud guffaws and he clutched his stomach in pain. Midorima merely let out a small chuckle. Kise was really gullible at times! While part of him felt sorry for the innocent blonde, another felt that the blonde deserved it for being annoying most of the time.
Takao collapsed on his legs and heaved noisily, his laughter gradually subsiding.
"Shin-channnnnnn, this is too precious! Kise actually went to crossdress! Aomine must be really terrified by now! Ahhhh, I wanted to see his reaction! Don't you, Shin-chan? Things are going really well!"
Midorima's tone was confident as he worked out the next part of his plan:
"Of course. And things are definitely going to get better."