She could remember it as if it were yesterday. What she couldn't remember was why it happened, or how it happened, or even if it should have happened. But it didn't matter because she could remember it as if it were yesterday.
Dark thoughts had begun to cloud everyone's minds. Everyone knew there was a storm coming. Everyone had someone apart from her. Everyone had someone apart from him. Perhaps it was inevitable that they found each other as the storm loomed on the horizon. Perhaps it wasn't surprising that they found shelter in each other.
She remembered the sound of his robes as he first approached her. She remembered his voice. She remembered the way they talked but not necessarily what they talked about. She remembered the way his hand first brushed a curl away from her face and how her skin tingled as his finger accidentally skimmed her cheek. She remembered her first blush. She remembered the twitch of his lips.
She remembered the touch of his hand as his fingers entwined around hers. She remembered the blackness of his eyes melting her. She remembered the hitch of his breath as he tentatively leaned in to brush his lips against hers for the first time. She remembered how he clung to her as his resolve shattered in her arms.
She remembered the feel of his lips, his hands, his fingertips, the warmth of his breath as they caressed her skin. She remembered his tongue and the way he licked down her throat. She remembered his tongue in so many ways.
She remembered the taste of his mouth, his skin, his everything. She remembered his scent. She remembered how his skin felt next to hers. She remembered his body, she remembered his scars. She remembered the feel of him inside her, the weight of him on top of her. She remembered her name on his lips. She remembered their climax. She remembered the taste of his sweat. She remembered the afterglow. She remembered their embrace.
She remembered their stolen glances and the tiny smirks as his robes swept past her in the halls. She remembered each of their secret liaisons as if it were yesterday.
She remembered the first time she fell asleep and woke up enveloped in his arms. She remembered the sound of his breathing as he slept. She remembered, even if it was only for a short while, feeling safe, feeling wanted, feeling loved.
She remembered what was supposed to be their kiss goodbye. She remembered the taste of his tears or should that be tear, because there was only one. She remembered how he turned as he reached the door and looked into her soul. She remembered how he rushed back and held her one last time, desperately begging for her forgiveness as if that was all he needed to carry on.
She remembered how he promised to help. She remembered how he promised that at the end of it all he would find her. It was all he had to give her but in reality he had given her something so precious. He had given her memories and he hoped she would have the chance to remember. Because remembering was all he was sure he would ever have.
She remembered their final kiss and she remembered the words they never uttered. It was too soon to say them but they were there nonetheless. And as he left she remembered the unspoken promise of a chance to say them once this was all over. She remembered him closing his eyes, resigned to the task ahead and remembered the final sound of his robes as he left her to break the storm.
She sat in a forest with her companions, cold and exposed but she remembered. She remembered everything as if it were yesterday. It was the only comfort and warmth she had. She remembered his promises. She knew when he made good on at least one of them. She remembered her name on his lips. She thought she heard a twig break and her name on the wind.
All she could do was remember because the end came sooner for him than for her. She remembered how he broke his promise because she found him rather than him find her. She remembered his eyes, his words, his tears, his blood. She remembered his final look toward her. She remembered his final breath. She remembered his body give up.
Her companions left her with him. They didn't abandon her but simply left the room before her. But they abandoned him and that was something she could not bring herself to do without saying her goodbye. She remembered the taste of his blood as she touched his lips with her own. She remembered how her tears diluted the dark red stains around his neck. She remembered...no that tremble in his chest was nothing to remember. That was just wishful thinking and should be forgotten to prevent torturous thoughts. She remembered him as he was before; not as he was now.
At the end of it all she remembered him as she walked to his recover body. She remembered everything. She collapsed at the door and opened her eyes to an empty room. She had heard the rumours of them taking care of their own. But he wasn't theirs. She didn't just remember that he wasn't, she knew.
She hoped he had been taken care of with dignity. She would have preferred it if she could have remembered one day but instead she could only hope. And yet she remembered him. She remembered everything about him.
She was expected to become another's soon but whilst she remembered him that would never be. She felt the unfulfilled hole in her heart and knew no one else could fill it. Whilst she remembered him no one would be allowed to fill it. She had no intention of forgetting him.
She could remember everything. Taking a deep breath, she remembered him telling her that her name was beautiful. He wasn't the first. But he was the first to make it sound beautiful. She remembered the way he made her name sound as it dripped from his lips; as he whispered it against her skin. If she closed her eyes she could remember his voice.
Yes she could close her eyes and she could now remember everything he had said to her and yet when had he ever said turn around?
She turned around and she never looked back.
But now she was left to look back and remember. She was left to remember the night he found her just as he had promised. She was left to hear about how he was saved by the last person he had expected. She was left to remember visiting his false grave at Malfoy Manor.
She was left to remember the first time they uttered the words they had not yet said to each other. She was left to remember how they escaped the country together and to remember the life they created away from the world that nearly killed them.
She was left to remember all of this at his actual grave but she had eighty years worth of memories to remember this time and not just a few nights, or mornings or afternoons. Instead there were countless nights, and mornings and afternoons. There were four pregnancies, three children, nine grandchildren and twenty great grandchildren to remember with the promise of a great, great grandchild on the way. There was so much to remember but she remembered it like it were yesterday.
She remembered the last time he held her. She remembered the last time he kissed her. She remembered the last rise and fall of his chest. She remembered the last kiss she gave him. She would always remember Severus.
But now she was tired. She was so tired of remembering. She remembered how her name sounded from his lips. As she closed her eyes she could almost hear him whispering her name; she could feel his hand slip into hers.
She didn't have to remember anymore.