Shepard (now dressed in his casual clothes) decided that he would have to face the crew again at some point. He figured that he might as well do it sooner rather then later. With luck, everyone will be too embarrassed to comment on it, and the whole thing will quickly be forgotten.
Garrus was no longer practicing his mating call, due to currently being out cold on the floor in the gun battery room. But Shepard had other things to think about as he walked into the elevator and pushed the button to the Command Deck.
Shepard walked out just in time to see everyone turn their heads away. So far so good.
He walked towards the cockpit to go see Joker. Shepard knew there would be a smartass comment from his pilot, and once he got it out of his system, everyone could just forget. However, on the way there, he was surprised to find none other than Miranda. And she didn't look very happy.
"Miranda?" Shepard began to ask. "What are-"
"It's yours isn't it?!" The former Cerberus operative shouted.
"Is what mine?" Shepard asked, now very confused.
"You know damn well what I'm talking about Shepard. At first I thought it belonged to Cerberus, and that it was recording all of our conversations. And that the person monitoring it was perverted. But now I've noticed it's only there whenever you're around, Cerberus or no. In fact, it's here right now, as I'm talking to you."
"Miranda." Shepard stated. Getting more than a little irritated for being blamed for something he had no idea about. "What are you talking about?"
"This." She stated, pointing at an empty space behind her. "You're fucking flying camera thats always looking at my ass."
Shepard, for the second time that day, stood dumbfounded. He looked, but there was nothing there.
"Don't say you don't see anything. I know you put a cloaking device on it. Bet you thought I wouldn't notice huh. It might have fooled a less attentive person. But not me."
Miranda then pulled out a gun and shot the empty space, and to Shepard's surprise, a camera de-cloaked and fell to the ground. She then turned around and walked back to the airlock.
Shepard decided to just leave it alone and go back to bed. On his way back to the elevator, Tali stopped him and pulled him close to speak in his ear.
"Thanks for covering for me." She whispered.
"What?!" Shepard retorted.
"That camera belongs to me; I've been the one making recording of her ass."
"Tali, why would you do that?"
Tali jumped backed in exaggerated confusion. "Shepard, have you seen that ass. What I would do to her." She said before walking away.
Shepard just stood there for a few seconds. But then thought "Fuck it" and rode the elevator back into his room.
The elevator doors opened, only for Shepard to find Legion standing in the middle of his cabin. Shepard just stared at the geth for a few moments before deicing to make the first move.
"Is there any thing you need Legion?" The geth responded by getting uncomfortably close to Shepard.
"Shepard-Commander, we know now."
"Know what?" Shepard asked, thinking he couldn't possibly be more confused.
"We didn't understand until recently, but when we saw you earlier today, it became clear. Shepard-Commander, we now understand the feeling you organics call love."
"…What?" Shepard said.
"We love you Shepard-Commander. Now please assume the position."
"… What?" He said a second time.
"We shall now perform the obligatory sex-scene."
"You will feel a slight discomfort at first. And do not be alarmed if you begin to feel a numbness in your legs, that is normal."
"Legion." Shepard stated. "I am not having sex with you. And I don't love you. Now get out.
Legion looked to the floor. "We now understand the feeling you organics call sadness." He said before slowly walking back to the elevator.
Shepard watched the door close and shouted to himself. "Could this day get any worse"
Right then Shepard heard that unmistakable sound.
The End (again)