Disclaimer: I do not own anything! I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters. All rights belong to their rightful owner.
A/N: Ahhh, sorry I haven't updated in ages! I'm in my final term of high school and I'm so busy with assignments… but my schedule should be clearing up in the next few weeks. So hopefully updates will come sooner!
I REALLY appreciate the feedback – I wasn't expecting this kind of response at all! I'm glad you're all enjoying it! :D
I know a few of you wanted to know more about Sam and Andy's friendship before Andy started at 15 (Like when they first met, how they became such good friends etc) and honestly; I had no plans of writing those sorta scenes… but I'm reconsidering… and I'll TRY to squeeze them in as flashbacks during some future chapters.
Anyways, this is the next installment. Enjoy! x
He'll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong
Three weeks had flown by. It was only three weeks ago Andy was buttoning up her uniform for the first time and already she felt like she had experienced more drama and action than Sam had his whole career. Maybe she really was bad luck; Ollie had teased her about it countless times but every time she brought it up with Sam he simply smiled and said he was happy he had someone to keep him on his toes.
Andy smiled at the memory. Sam's reassurances and support was what carried her through each and every shift and having him as her training officer meant he was by her side most of the time; she couldn't be happier. Except today… well that was a whole other story.
As they drove through the streets of Toronto, not one word had been uttered by Sam. Andy tried to make conversation but Sam only made noises of acknowledgment and instead focused all his attention on the road. Normally Andy could read Sam so well, but today… her heart couldn't help but clench at the thought that she might have done something to upset him. As she wracked her brain to try and understand Sam's quiet behavior, the silence suddenly ended.
"I'll never fall in love… I don't want to fall in love."
Andy sharply turned her head to look at him, her mouth opening and closing – unsure how to reply. That was the last thing she was expecting to come out of his mouth.
"Love. You know McNally, that mushy stuff. I don't need it."
"Sam…" Andy was at a loss for words, "You love your family though right?"
Sam chuckled as if Andy had told a funny joke, "I mean like the romantic stuff."
Andy stared at the side of Sam's head, willing him to look her way. She needed to see them. His eyes. She would only know for sure that he was being serious when she looked in his eyes. People say that you can read a person just through their eyes. Sam Swarek was no exception and being one of his best friends, Andy could basically read him like a book if their eyes were connected. Luckily for her, Sam noticed her gaze and turned to look at her for a split second and what she saw… well if she thought her heart had clenched before, the unexplainable pain she was feeling now… well it was ten times harder to deal with.
The lost, confused and unsure of himself man she drove home three weeks ago was gone. Instead he was replaced with a Sam that looked overly confident, like he just thought of the best idea in the world. This Sam… was normal Sam, the one she had grown accustomed to know. And that scared the hell out of her.
Andy would understand if she looked into his eyes and saw a man who was lost within himself, but instead she saw determination and confidence. Two things she was not expecting from a Sam who just declared that he had given up on love. It was all wrong. Sam couldn't give up on love… otherwise he would unknowingly be giving up on her. She knew she was starting to sound pathetic, he was a grown man, he could do what he wanted but it didn't stop her from feeling a sharp pang in her chest.
As she continued to stare at Sam with the same dumfounded look, he ran one of his hands through his hair – the other completely in control of the wheel. It was almost like his body was contradicting itself. Two completely opposite feelings. It's the little things that give it away to Andy. She immediately had a bit more hope. She knew there was still a part of him that was still mulling over his decision to give up on love while the other part of him, the stubborn half, was head strong and unwilling to change opinions.
Suddenly Andy laughed. Like word vomit, except with laughing – Sam was being ridiculous, he was wrong. Sam turned his head, a confused look upon his face. He smiled though, Andy had no idea why. She expected him to be stern with her, ask her what she thought was so funny but he smiled like everything in his life was falling into place. That immediately snapped Andy out of her laughing,
"So this decision you've made, to never fall in love, is it because of Monica?"
"She is part of the reason. Yes."
"Sam…" Andy was not pleased. If he was giving up on love because of one girl, well he had another thing coming.
"Okay okay, I know that tone. Hear me out okay?"
Andy let out a sigh, some days it was frustrating how well they knew each other but she was willing to listen anyway. She raised her eyebrow and sent him a look that screamed, 'Well? Continue.'
Sam smirked but started his explanation, "It's not just Monica, she's a big part… I mean, you remember that conversation we had three weeks ago when you drove me home? You probably thought I was just saying things 'cause I was drunk right? Well, I wasn't that drunk and I meant every single thing I said. Things with Monica… never felt right. Sure she was great fun, you know?" Sam faced her again for a split second with a cheeky grin on his face.
"Ugh. Sam!" She really did not want to know. She looked away and focused on anything she could spot outside the car; willing herself to push her feelings down to the very bottom of her heart.
"Anyways, the stuff I said about Jerry and Traci, and her and me. We're not the same."
"And I told you that everyone is different" Andy interrupted.
"I know that, but it still doesn't feel right. Plus, like I said, it's not just her."
"Well, what other reason is there then?"
"You?" Andy asked; feeling confused all over again.
"Yeah. I just don't think I'm in the right place in my life right now."
She thought Sam was all put together, knew what he was doing – and even if he didn't who cared. She always thought of Sam as more of a free spirit, someone who would do something in the spur of the moment and just go with the flow. This side she was seeing of him today was all new to her. There he went surprising her again.
Sam took Andy's silence as a hint to continue,
"Like I said, it's not just Monica. There's this feeling I have…. I just don't think now is the right time for me to be in a relationship, you know?"
"Sam, come on… you don't think you're maybe sounding a little… I don't know, silly? You're giving up on love because of this… feeling?"
"For now. I'm giving up on love for now" Sam corrected
"I just think that maybe you're reading into it too much."
"Maybe you're right. But this is my feeling, in my gut. Right now. Alright? Andy, I've always trusted your gut and I need you to trust mine." Sam looked deep into her eyes, for as long as he could before he returned his attention to the road. Even that small amount of time helped her reach the conclusion that it was best to just let him decide what he wanted to do, and as his friend she knew that all she could really do was stand by his decision. Even if it hurt her.
"Okay" She said, nodding her head slowly as if still pondering whether she was making the right choice.
Andy had no idea what was going on with Sam at the moment and to be honest she blamed herself for not noticing sooner that something inside of him was changing. It was only a few years ago that Andy had opened Sam's mind to the world and now she felt like he was clamming back up again. She only hoped that it wouldn't take much to make him see that he was wrong. But in the mean time, she would have her partners back. No matter what.
Sorry for the long wait! Hang in there!
Hit me up with a review x :)