It never really left Ritsu's mind that his sempai thought that he was annoying and gross. It was one of the reasons that he was even more insecure. So when Saga-sempai had laughed when Ritsu asked if he loved him, he thought that he was just played with. That why he disappeared the same night.
Now 10 years later he found his sempai once again, well let's say that his sempai found him. The no longer Saga Masamune, but Takano Masamune was his chief by Marukawa. That same chief was hell bend to make Ritsu, once again, fall in love with him. The only thing that Takano didn't knew was the incredible pain that Ritsu didn't wanted to feel anymore.
The only problem was that when Takano kissed him, he lost every reasonable reason to fight against him. Because in the end he would end up kissing Takano back. Ritsu even ended up in bed with him. Takano-san wasn't even thinking about the past, about their misunderstandings. They once talked about it, but it never got in detail. Every time Takano declared his love for Ritsu, his mind would say that it's a lie. That Takano thinks he is gross and annoying and those thoughts slowly broke him. He still acted like nothing was wrong and he became very good at it. Even though he knew that he was a good for nothing it still hurt him when Takano said it out loud. Confirming his thoughts with his harsh words.
One night Takano dragged him to his apartment and gave him a beer. 'Why does he enjoy to torturing me like this. I already apologized to him for what happened in the past and he told me that he forgave me. So why is he doing this if I annoy him that much?' Thought Ritsu sadly. Takano saw this face and wanted to ask what was wrong with him, but knowing that Ritsu wouldn't say a thing he decided to wait a few drinks.
After 5 beers Takano remembers that Ritsu was a terrible drinker. He sighed and then looked at Ritsu, who had now rosy colored cheeks, half lidded eyes and his mouth slightly open. He decided that it was time for a little talk, but before he could ask a thing, Ritsu began to talk.
"Do you have any idea how much you're hurting me, Takano-san?" He asked. Takano wanted to answer, but Ritsu continues talking.
"Of course not. You never know how much your and Yokozawa's words hurts. You don't even care, not then and not now." Said Ritsu with tears in his eyes.
"What are you talking about?"Said Takano through gritted teeth. How dare he say something like that, he always cared about Ritsu.
"So you never really wondered why that little laugh of yours hurt me so much ten years ago, that I decided to leave you alone?" Snorted Ritsu and then he stood up and walked to the door. Takano didn't do a thing. Before Ritsu left he said.
"It was then all just a game for you and so is it now, but you know you can't break something that isn't perfect anymore. I could always see it in your posture, that's why I could never look in your eyes. Because I was afraid that I would see what I knew that I would see in them. Now leave me alone after work Takano-san." And then Takano was left alone with his thoughts.
How could Takano even know that he had hurt Ritsu and with what kind of words. Takano wanted answers and he wanted them now. So he stood up and walked to Onodera's apartment. He knocked, but nobody opened the door. Then he rung the bell and kicked the door until a very unhappy Onodera opened the door. He walked past Ritsu who had a look that could kill and sat down in the living room, which was surprisingly clean. He saw Ritsu walking to the couch and sat down. His face was clearly telling 'what do you want?'
"Talk" was all that Takano said.
"About what." Inquired Ritsu.
"Everything. From the part that mine and Yokozawa words hurt you to the part of the laughing and disappearing to the game part." Said Takano clearly. He saw Ritsu swallow, but keep quiet. Takano sighed and pulled Ritsu from the couch and turned him so that he was on top of Ritsu. He looked intensely in Ritsu's eyes before saying.
"You'll make everything clear now. Otherwise you'll create only extra problems." He saw Onodera's eyes widened before he shut them.
"It's nothing impor- mhhm." Takano cut the younger one up with a kiss. When he stopped Ritsu began to push him, well trying to.
"Stop it! You're doing it again! You keep torturing me with that! When will you finally stop?" Sobbed Ritsu.
"Talk to me, Ritsu. Tell me what I did 10 years ago to hurt you this much." Said a now very worried Takano.
"You broke me. I was healed now, but you just love to break me. Do you remember that day that I showed you that book in the library?" Said Ritsu meekly.
Takano's eyes widened. It began with that? To be honest he still remember that ay quite lividly. That was the day that he called Ritsu –
"You called me annoying and gross. You said that and then you wanted to be alone. I cried that day, did you know that? On my way home I cried. When I was home for 10 minutes, it began to rain and I got 2 umbrella's. One for you and one for myself, so that I didn't grossed you out when we had to share one. You Takano-san are the only reason that I have a very low self-image. Your words had always the most effect on me." Said Ritsu while tears covered his cheeks.
"Go on Onodera. Tell me more. I will react later when you are all done." Reassured Takano.
"Okay." Sniffed Ritsu. "Because of those words never left my mind, I became even more insecure. So when you laughed it showed my theory about you playing a game with me. Even these days, every time you said you love me, I didn't believe you. I keep hearing those words in my head." Said Ritsu honestly and Takano waited to hear if more came and when it didn't he began to speak.
"You, Onodera Ritsu, are one of the most complexed people that I met and know. I didn't knew that the things I said as a brat still hurt you." While he said this he got off Ritsu and began to hug him. "I didn't knew that they hurt you. You came back then, so I thought you didn't mind it. Said Takano honestly in Ritsu's ear. He gave Ritsu a quick kiss on his lips and then continued.
"Ritsu, I will not lie. When I first saw you, I did want to break you. Because in my eyes you were perfect and I did not like it. If my life wasn't perfect then nobody should have it, but slowly I knew that I fell for you. That I did love you. And when you asked me if I loved you, I became nervous. My only reaction was to laugh about how silly that question sounded. I thought that it was obvious that I loved you then and I still do now. I can only hope that you still have those feelings and that you think that we still have a chance."
Takano said that with so much emotion that Ritsu just had to look up and look at Takano's eyes. They showed love and not what he feared. To Takano's surprise Ritsu decided to hug him. He looked at Takano and said just one thing.
"Just promise me that you will stay with me forever, Saga-sempai."
"I promise when you will call me by my real name. No Takano-san and no Saga-sempai, as much as I would love that. Just call me Masamune and tell me those 4 words." Said Takano while begging silently with his eyes.
"I… I… I lo-love yo-you Masamune. Please stay with me." Stuttered Ritsu.
"And I love you Ritsu. I promise that we will be together."Promised Masamune.