Author's Note: Here's a shoutout to Jaime for creating the book cover for this story. He said it was awkward drawing TK and Davis and that he needs to start watching Digimon now...
Starting Today, We Are Hosts!
It was Battle of the Bands at Ouran Academy and Matt's band was competing in the event. Tai and Izzy wandered around the large school, trying to find the auditorium. "Tai, don't you think it's time to give it up? The competition starts in five minutes and we just spent a half-hour walking around the school trying to figure out where we have to go," Izzy panted.
"Come on! I don't think a couple more minutes would hurt," Tai energetically ran up a flight of stairs.
"That's the problem. A few more minutes would hurt. I'm sorry that I'm not as athletic as you, but my calves are starting to feel like blocks of concrete," Izzy rubbed his sore leg.
"If that bothers you so much...," Tai ran down the flight of stairs and hoisted Izzy up on his shoulder. "I'll just pick you up!"
"Put me down! That's not what I meant! I can walk by myself!" Izzy kicked and bucked.
"No no no, my dearest buddy! I hate to see you complain, and as a good friend, it is my responsibility to make you happy," Tai smirked.
"Funny, you didn't seem to care when you read all my emails when I left the computer," Izzy slammed his fist against Tai's back.
"And boy, do I regret it! All of them were BORING. You made it seem like you were hiding something juicy. All you had was letters from Mimi, the Geek Squad, the A/V club, debate team, and the Mathematics Club. BORING...speaking of which, when are you gonna quit those dork-faced clubs? You're never gonna get chicks that way," Tai scoffed.
"I'm not trying to get girls. All of them, except for Sora and Kari, are total superficial dolts. And l like where I am. Hopefully they'll eventually elect me as club president," Izzy said.
"All I heard was superficial chicks and dork da-dork dork dork do-da-dork," Tai yawned.
"Thanks," Izzy said flatly.
"I'm just saying, is it worth it to ruin your social life? You've been in those clubs for weeks now, and you're still not president? Sorry to say this, but I don't think anyone's gonna replace Thomas with you, especially since he's a senior and you're just a junior," Tai shrugged.
"First of all, it's only been two weeks. Second of all, there are a lot of girls in A/V, Debate, and Math club," Izzy protested.
"It's probably because Thomas is the leader of all the dorkapotumus groups," Tai said.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's just agree to disagree. Can you put me down now?" Izzy groaned.
"Hello fellow commoners! Are you lost?" a tall blond boy walked over to Tai and Izzy. He was accompanied by two redheaded twins, a tall dark-haired boy with glasses, a cute little blond boy, a dark, tall, and handsome boy, and a short and scrawny feminine-looking boy.
"Common what?" Tai threw Izzy to the ground and advanced toward the boy.
"Oooh, I guess it's a universal thing. Commoners don't like to be called commoners," one twin said to the other.
"So commoners just like to deny the truth?" the other twin shrugged.
"Hey! You!" Tai yelled at the entourage. "Who do you guys think you are to be calling us commoners?!"
"Well, you are commoners, aren't you?" the taller blond boy asked him. He almost sounded oblivious to the fact that he insulted Tai.
"Stop it already!" the feminine-looking boy stood in between Tai and the blond boy.
"Isn't it adorable? Commoners defending other commoners...it's like a commoner's code or something," one of the twins cooed.
"Say commoner one more time!" Tai threatened.
"Commoner?" the little blond boy tilted his head in confusion.
"Gahhhh!" Tai lunged for the tall blond boy, but Izzy held him back. "What the hell, Iz? I was gonna beat the crap out if these jerks!"
"I'm so sorry. We didn't mean to offend you," the tall blond boy got down on one knee and reached for Tai's hand.
"Don't touch me, you conceited bastard!" Tai yanked his hand back.
"I'm sorry about him," the girly boy pushed the blond boy's head back. "Hi, I'm Haruhi."
"Uh...this is awkward," Izzy looked over at a fuming Tai. "My name's Izzy by the way," Izzy shook hands with Haruhi.
"My name is Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but I like to be called Honey for short. And this is Takashi Morinozuka, but I like to call him Mori-chan!" the little blond boy hugged the tall dark boy's leg and smiled at Tai and Izzy. The tall boy simply nodded his head. "He doesn't really talk much," Honey explained.
"I'm Kyoya Ootori, but something tells me you should know that already. The Ootori family prides itself on our influence on Japan. We run everything from pharmaceutical businesses to the police," the tall boy with the glasses coldly said.
"And we're the Hitachiin brothers!" the twins said in unison.
"I'm Hikaru!" one of the twins said.
"And I'm Kaoru!" the other twin said.
"Or maybe I'm Kaoru and he's Hikaru...," the twin smirked.
"But you'll never know, will ya?" the other twin flashed a devilish smile.
"Cut the crap, will you?" Haruhi bashed both twins in the head. "Just a tip: Hikaru parts his hair to the right and Kaoru parts his to the left."
"Good to know," Izzy nodded his head.
"Yeah, now that the intros are all out of the way, let's go!" Tai said grumpily.
"Excuse him," Izzy apologized to Haruhi. "That's Tai..."
"Why did you say my name as if you're embarrassed to be with me?" Tai yelled at Izzy.
"Because I am. Your behavior is uncouth, if you ask me," Izzy replied, not fazed by Tai's anger.
"Wow, for such a commoner, you look like a fine man of distinguish and etiquette!" the tall blond boy gushed.
"And I apologize for him," Haruhi kicked the blond boy back. "That is Tamaki...," she rolled her eyes.
"Why did you say my name as if I were some sort of annoyance?" Tamaki pouted.
"Because you are! I'm pretty sure these guys were on their way somewhere, but you had to stop them to call them commoners! You act as if we normal middle-class people belong in a zoo!" Haruhi scolded Tamaki.
"I do not!" Tamaki said defensively. "I just think you commoners are so fascinating!"
"Oh brother," Haruhi huffed.
"I can relate," Izzy glanced over at Tai.
"Hey! What do you mean by that?!" Tai and Tamaki shouted at the same time.
"It might be me, but I think these two are a lot alike," Haruhi said.
"I agree," Izzy nodded.
"I am nothing like him!" Tai and Tamaki yelled.
"You guys sound like you could be twins!" Honey said in a perky voice.
"Hey! We're getting downright insulted now! We're the only twins and it should stay that way!" Hikaru crossed his arms.
"Yeah, first Matt and now this guy?" Kaoru pouted.
"Wait...did you just say Matt?" Tai's jaw dropped.
"Yeah, why? Do you know him or something?" Hikaru asked.
"It can't be the same Matt, can it? He's a blond guy and he's supposed to be competing in some big band battle thing. That's the only reason we're here," Tai said.
"Are you talking about Matt Ishida? The Matt who has a younger brother named Takeru and is supposedly going out with a boy named Taichi Kamiya? Of course the last part could be considered speculation, since it hasn't been confirmed nor denied," Kyoya pushed up his glasses.
"WHAT?!" Tai growled.
"You are talking about my twin separated at birth, right?" Tamaki gasped.
"For the last time, you guys aren't twins!" Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi yelled.
"I guess that's true...I am a tad bit handsomer," Tamaki said in a dramatic tone.
"No you're not," Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi said in unison.
"Fine, I'll just mope in the corner now! You have no idea how tragic it is when you and your twin aren't equally as handsome!" Tamaki dragged himself to a dark corner in the hallway.
"You don't know how it feels like either boss, because you and Matt aren't twins," Hikaru and Kaoru droned.
"How do you guys know Matt?" Izzy asked Haruhi.
"I can answer that for you!" Tamaki sprung up from the corner and reached for Izzy's hand. "You see, we're the Ouran Host Club. We're just a modest group of handsome boys with too much time on our hands that like to entertain beautiful girls who also have too much free time on their hands! It's like a playground for the rich and famous!"
"Just get to how you know Matt or I'll kick your ass!" Tai gritted his teeth.
"Matt got lost inside the school and he encountered our headquarters. We initially got off on the wrong foot, but now we could consider him a friend," Kyoya casually tapped away at a PDA.
"He's our friend, not yours!" Tai yelled.
"Tai!" Izzy gave himself a facepalm. "We should get going before it gets even worse."
"I know what you mean. It's only a matter of time before these guys start misbehaving again," Haruhi shook her head at the twins and Tamaki.
"Ha hah! He said you guys misbehave!" Tai taunted.
"You have no right to talk," Izzy crossed his arms.
"I guess that makes us even now, doesn't it?" Tamaki sweeped his hair to the side and threw a flirtatious look at Tai.
"No, it doesn't make us even! I'll show you! I'm gonna start a host club of my own and my host club will kick your host club's ass!" Tai poked Tamaki in the chest.
"Tai! Stop being so hotheaded!" Izzy huffed.
"Exactly. A real gentleman does not express his anger by speaking so crudely," Tamaki said in a posh voice.
"What are you trying to say?!" Tai exploded.
"Look, I'm sorry but we should really get going. It was nice to meet you all," Izzy nodded to the Ouran boys.
"No it wasn't," Tai muttered.
"It was nice to meet you too," Haruhi said.
"I wish we could say the same for Tai," Tamaki sighed in pity.
"I'm sorry," Izzy said.
"Me too. Me too," Haruhi said.
"Great, we missed Matt's performance! And it's this bastard's fault! Just watch! My host club will cream your host club!" Tai shook his fist at Tamaki.
"Let's go," Izzy pulled Tai by the ear and dragged him down the hallway.
"I'm gonna show those pompous jerks! I don't know what a host club is, but I'm gonna make one and I'll show those rich kids whose host club is better! Which is our host club, by the way," Tai grumbled.
"Our?" Izzy stopped walking.
"Yeah, our! You can be my right-hand man!" Tai said.
"Let's just go find everyone else. You're starting to say all of this nonsense and I don't want to be the only one who has to deal with it," Izzy huffed as he continued to drag Tai down the hallway.
"Is he serious?" Matt dropped his spoon on the lunch tray.
"Unfortunately," Izzy groaned.
"Forming a host club will be easy business! I just need to find a pair of annoying twins, an adorable little kid, and a silent guy, a girly-looking guy, and I've already got a smart guy!" Tai patted Izzy on the back.
"You're gonna join Tai's little club?" Sora raised an eyebrow at Izzy.
"If he does, he can be our president," Tai looked at Izzy with puppy-dog eyes.
"Just one question. If I'm the smart guy and you need to find the twins, quiet guy, a feminine guy, and a cute kid, then what does that make you?" Izzy listed.
"The founder," Tai said.
"Sure, but what else would that make you? I'll give you a hint. It starts with a 'Tama' and ends with a 'ki'," Izzy smirked.
"I am nothing like that guy!" Tai yelled.
"Actually I wouldn't say that," Matt sipped at his milk carton.
"What?! Are you trying to piss me off?" Tai slammed his fist on his tray and accidently knocked it over. "Crap, I got mashed potatoes on my pants..."
"Just think about it. You and Tamaki both have leadership qualities, you guys can act overboard dramatic, and you guys can be very annoying at times," Matt said.
"If that's what you think...and you were so close to being in my host club," Tai pretended to wipe a tear off his cheek.
"And that's what I would call overboard dramatic," Matt laughed. "Also, I don't want to be in your host club."
"Why not? You could be the quiet, handsome guy. I'll give you the rest of my jello," Tai bribed.
"I don't want your jello. Besides, I think this whole host club idea is stupid. I like those guys and I'm not going to support your idiotic group just because Tamaki was just being himself," Matt took the jello from Tai's dropped tray and began to eat it.
"No no no no no! You can't eat my jello! You said you didn't want it anyway!" Tai tried to take his jello cup from Matt.
"It's called playing hard-to-get. Act like you don't care, and that's how you get what you want," Matt shrugged.
"Grrremmmhmph," Tai gritted his teeth.
"I gotta go now. Thanks for the jello!" Matt got up from his seat. He threw his jello cup across the room and it fell inside a garbage can. "He shoots, he scores! See you after school!"
"Tai, are you okay?" Sora giggled.
"I'll show him. I'll show Tamaki, I'll show everyone..." Tai grumbled.
"It's a good thing Izzy's gonna be the president. If you were the one running things around, the club wouldn't last five minutes," Sora shook her head.
"Since when did I agree to this?" Izzy was getting annoyed.
"Come on, Frizzy! This is your chance to be president of something," Tai pleaded. "There's no chance that you'll be president at any of the other clubs, not even the Spanish club...and those guys do nothing but go to Taco Bell everyday after school."
"He's got a point," Sora nodded.
"Thanks. I love your words of encouragement. You're the best friends a guy could ever ask for," Izzy flatly said.
"It's true though. Some Thomas guy's like the president of almost every club from chess team to the cooking club," Sora said.
"Like I said, thanks. I'm aware of that, no need to rub it in my face," Izzy put his head down on the table.
"That's why you should be the Odaiba Host Club President!" Tai said. "I would take the president position, but I think you would make a better one instead."
"Really?" Izzy picked his head back up and gave Tai a skeptical look.
"Yeah, of course...and then that means you'll support my idea," Tai grinned.
"Forget it," Izzy shook his head.
"Sora? Want to be part of my club?" Tai asked.
"Hmmm...," Sora tapped her chin.
"Please?" Tai begged.
"I don't know," Sora said.
"Pleeeease?" Tai got down on one knee and pouted. "Pretty please?"
"Okay, I'll check it out," Sora nodded.
"You will?" Tai gasped.
"Yeah! Besides, it would be fun to watch you screw up," Sora laughed.
"Then count me in too!" Izzy said.
"Awesome! Then meet me in Science Lab #3! I've got some recruiting to do!" Tai jumped up and dashed out of the cafeteria.
"How long do you think it'll take Tai to mess this up?" Sora asked Izzy.
"Hard to say," Izzy shrugged.