Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make money from this. This is purely for my entertainment, but I have opted to share it with others rather than hoard it for myself… maybe…

Warnings: This is probably a fic on crack. Like I said, I made it for my entertainment and did things I thought, in my mind-world, were amusing. So I disregard a lot of things… Characters might be OOC… then again this is fan fiction, what do you expect right? XD lol Spoilers are possible. Maybe, maybe not. Just be warned that there might be. Oh, and the main pairing is yaoi/gay/maleXmaleso you have been warned. Another thing… disregard Sirius falling into the Veil, because in this story he didn't. I luffles him too much to let him die… or at least stay dead XD lol And chances are Harry will have multiple partners, because I think the guy needs lots of love!

A/N: Thursday's installment of my little Octoberfest! This fic is scheduled to be updated every Thursday in October, though I admit I am posting the first chapter early... got to get some sleep and I have a busy day tomorrow ^^;; lol If you don't have anything else to read until next Thursday, feel free to check out my other stories (all of which will be updated weekly this month). Thank you and Enjoy!


" Speech "

' Thought '

~ Telepathy ~

§ Parseltongue §

Might add more later. *shrugs*


Harry Potter and the Strange Inheritance
Chapter One: Normal is Overrated


§That can't be normal.§ And it wasn't. Because an albino snake speaking English was definitely not normal.

Or, rather, he THOUGHT he was speaking English. Knowing his luck, he was probably speaking parseltongue and didn't even know it.

'A viable option, actually.' Harry thought.

How many times had he spoken without recognizing the language for what it was? Too many, that was for sure. Not until his second year when he learned what he was doing wasn't normal had he even paid attention. In fact, until that point he'd thought it was pretty cool to speak to snakes.

And now he was one.

Harry had to admit he made a rather pretty snake. His scales weren't just white, they were more "Mother of Pearl" in coloring and he found himself partial to it. There was a barely noticeable design down the middle of his triangular head which, unsurprisingly, resembled a lightning bolt.

Luckily the scales that made up the design were such a pale green that it blended in with the rest of his body quite nicely. No one would even notice it if they weren't specifically looking for it, that was for certain. But still…

'How utterly annoying. I can't even get rid of my bloody scar in animal form.' Not that he was an unregistered animagus or anything.

In fact, the first hour in this snake form Harry had been incredulous as he wondered how the hell he had ended up thus. He wasn't an animagus to his knowledge, he'd never practiced to be one so the chances of it being that particular option were slim.

Nevertheless, no one had been around to cast a spell on him. In fact, he'd been quite happy to get away from everyone for a little peace and quiet before he boarded the train that would take him back to his summer hell-hole.

If it weren't for Dumbledore's insistence that he go back every year, he would have bought a place in the Wizarding World to live in ages ago. Or even moved into one of the Potter properties, now that he thought about it. It wasn't as if he were without any place to go, after all, but… well, Dumbledore wanted him to go "home to family."

Too bad Dumbledore didn't realize that Harry had, more or less, disowned his family a year or so ago. He wanted nothing to do with the worthless lot, and as far as he was concerned the world was better off without them.

Honestly, expecting a Wizard to live in the home of magic hating Muggles. It was ridiculous! As far as Harry was concerned, they could just Obliviate the miserable bunch and the family could believe he had died along with his parents in the "car crash."

Truth be told, Harry wouldn't mind if they erased all traces of he and his parents from the Muggles' minds, ensuring that they could never let anything slip about the Wizarding World. Not that he really thought his Aunt would, seeing how much she seemed to hate magic and all, but… he really didn't think it wise to take that chance, spiteful old broad that Petunia was!

But, alas, that was an issue he would have to take up another time. For the moment, there were much more important things to deal with.

Like the fact that he appeared to be stuck in the body of a snake for no apparent reason.

Yeah. That was definitely an issue which was the number one priority on his "problems" list. Especially seeing as he had been stuck in said form for several days now and there was quite possibly a large search team out scouring the planet for him. Under Dumbledore's coercion, he was sure.

It wasn't like there were many people who would look for him without good reason. Sure, Hermione and Ron would…

'Nah, scratch that. Ron would on the condition he could return home for his Mum's cooking every day.' Harry thought as he sighed, he couldn't blame him though... Mrs Weasley's cooking was amazing!

Hermione on the other hand… If she COULD search for him, he had no doubt that girl would move Heaven and Earth to find him, and probably give the Devil a fright while she was at it. When someone puts a Mother Hen on a mission to find her "chick," they'd better just step aside and hope she doesn't seriously maim someone in her pursuit.

Then there was Remus and Sirius. They would happily search for him… But with Sirius a wanted fugitive and Remus a known Werewolf forced into hiding, it would be rather difficult for them to do so. Actually, Harry had the mental picture that they were holed up someplace together. He sort of hoped that was the case, at least. That way neither one of them would have to be alone.

Other people who would rescue him… Ah! Now the Twins would come after his arse in a skinny minute! Then again… he had the strange feeling that the deviant duo was quite literally after his arse. They had started giving him that vibe not too long ago actually. That "we would fuck you here and now if you let us" kind of vibe.

And there had been several occasions where he had been tempted to say something,but they had always been surrounded by the whole Weasley family. That just wasn't something one brought up in "polite company."

That was yet another thing he would have to deal with after he figured out how to get back into his body.

And if that wasn't bad enough, when he DID finally figure out how to get back to normal, he would have to be near some clothing. Because whatever had happened to make him turn into a snake hadn't transformed his clothes along with him.

If fact, they were still sitting on the edge of the forest near Hogsmeade; in the same spot where all of this first began.

He'd travelled a ways since then though, even if he was within a mile or so of the town, so maybe someone had found them and knew he was close by? Or, more than likely, they had found them and thought some student had ditched them due to the hot Summer weather and had forgotten to retrieve them before heading home. Luckily the standard procedure would be to return said items to the castle, so at least he'd have them back come the new school year...

'Okay, I need to focus. I have to figure out how I got into this mess so I can get back out of it.' Harry thought as he coiled his long, gorgeously scaled body up on a sun warmed rock.

Hey, if he was going to be stuck as a snake for a little while he might as well make himself comfortable!

§Very nice.§ He hissed in delight as he let the sun's warmth soak in.

One great thing about being a snake for the Summer? Unlike Human form where he would be dying of heat stroke right about now, as a snake he could stand the heat quite nicely. In fact, the hotter the better!

'What do I remember happening before being turned into a snake?' Harry wondered in his mind as he let his thoughts drift back to the day it happened.

Not that he hadn't already played it back in his head several times since his transformation, but maybe there was something he was missing? Not only that, but he'd been rather panicked all the other times he'd tried. Now he was relaxed.

Very relaxed, actually, thanks to Mr. Awesome Rock and Mr. Oh-so-warm-and-perfect Sun.

'Maybe I shouldn't worry about it. I could just enjoy my Summer, for once, and then seek some assistance when school starts.' Harry thought, but he realized there might be a slight problem.

If he WASN'T speaking English, and was in fact speaking parseltongue, then no one could understand him. He was the only Parselmouth at Hogwarts and, quite frankly, he doubted the only other Parselmouth he knew of would be willing to help him.

Harry could be wrong, but he just didn't foresee the freaking Dark Lord willingly helping the "Savior of the Light."

'I really hate those fucking titles they insist upon giving me. They are so… cliché.' Harry snorted.

But, alas, he was getting side tracked again. He really needed to get check for ADD one of these days or something.

Not that he would let a Muggle doctor touch him. But he would be willing to inquire at St. Mungo's sometime and see if they would be able to confirm or deny his suspicions on the subject.

'And we're off in left field, yet again.' Harry sighed and shook his head.

Honestly, when he got back to Human form he was going to put all of this in a pensive and just take a day to sit back and watch. He was sure, in retrospect, all of this would be hilarious.

At the moment, however, it wasn't one bit funny.

'Okay, I was on my way back to Hogwarts to finish getting ready… And I remember thinking I was really hungry and then…' Harry tried to dig for more information, but he drew a complete blank.

He didn't remember anything other than feeling hungry. That wasn't a sign of a spell that made one transform, nor was it a side effect of any potion that he knew of, and he didn't think a feeling initiated the animagus change.

Then again, he didn't have anything to go by for the latter, really. Especially seeing as Sirius was usually hungry all the time because he was constantly on the run and couldn't really get anything to eat himself without being caught.

So, maybe that WAS a sign…

'But I haven't practiced at all! And they say that animagus transformations take at least two years to accomplish and are very dangerous and take a lot of concentration. I wasn't thinking about THIS at all!' Harry groaned mentally.

The good news was,however, after he became a snake he wasn't quite so hungry as he had been prior to the transformation. A day into the "Change" and he had come across a rather fat rat. While one part of his mind had been screaming "Ewwwww," another part had happily gobbled it up while imagining it was Peter Pettigrew.

Yeah, that had been rather fun actually. And no one could get on to him about it, or his mental musings. He had just been doing what he needed to survive, that's all. Or at least, that's what he kept telling himself. Even he could admit that his mind had gone into some darker territory with his mental musings on the rat's suffering.

Strangely enough, he just couldn't really find it in himself to care.

'Now that I think about it, I've been getting really hungry a lot lately.' Harry thought and his eyes widened. 'Don't tell me I'm pregnant!' He allowed himself a slight moment of panic before he smacked himself with the tip of his tail right in the middle of his forehead.

§Don't be stupid.§ Harry hissed at himself.

After all, one had to DO something in order to get pregnant, at the very least, and he was still very much a virgin. Not only that, but males didn't get pregnant. Well, not as far as he knew at any rate. Strange things were known to happen in the Wizarding World, and many of those things defied the laws of human biology. Heck, magic didn't even know the meaning of "the laws of science" as a whole, what's one more oddity like male pregnancy?

Yeah, Harry would check into that sometime when he was back to being Human, and he knew the answer wouldn't surprise him one way or the other at this point.

'I was hungry, I've been getting that feeling a lot lately, and… I've got nothing.' Harry was used to feeling hungry at the Dursleys but he never felt that way at Hogwarts, ever, so it was really strange. Whether the hunger and his current predicament were related, however, was left to be seen.

Nothing he had heard or read had said anything about a person transforming into an animal after getting hungry. In all honesty… he probably had nothing at all in his recollection that would be of use in this situation. Surely he had no information to go on to solve this problem if he hadn't thought of it by now.

'I might as well stop worrying about it and enjoy myself.' Harry sighed again and shifted his curled body so he was laying more comfortably upon the warm, flat surface of his sunbathing rock. 'If no one can help me, then I'll have to get used to it anyway. And it wouldn't be so bad, really. No more disgusting Muggle relatives to deal with. No more expectations from the masses for "The Boy Who Lived." And no more dealing with utter bullocks every year.'

He wouldn't stop trying to return to being Human, but at least he could look on the bright side if he tried and failed.

'Besides, normal is overrated.'

And with that thought in mind and the warm sun shining happily down upon the pretty white snake as he lay languidly against the flat rock, Harry drifted off to the land of dreams.


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A/N: Well, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Yes, it's a little short, but I've found shorter chapters means I'm more likely to stick to it XD lol

What's really sad is I have more pages of mature content (that I will only be posting on AFFN) written than I do story at this particular moment in time XD lol Ah well, hopefully I can catch up story wise and keep the plot it has on track XD lol

Like it? Yes? No? Feel free to let me know ~