Disclaimer: Did Harry and Tom go at it like rabbits? No? Then guess what! I don't own Harry Potter XD lol Actually, the wonderful J K Rowling does! So love her awesomeness~

A/N: Long time no see! I do apologize, but real life and my computer messing up seem to have gotten in the way. No matter, I've figured out a way around the technological issue! The RL thing on the other hand...not so much XD lol Ah well, that's life! (Literally.) Here's a new chapter ~ And I plan on updating once a month until this story is complete. Until then, the rest of my stories are on hold and/or will be updated at random... I'm good at random XD lol

One more thing: During the story you will notice two places with * instead of § ... That is because this document wasn't allowing the § to stay for some reason and I wanted a marker...

Warnings: One thing I would like to clear up and I will be fixing it in the warnings prior to this, Harry wont be with multiple people. Originally that was the idea in my head, but my muse has decided otherwise. He might be a voyeur at some point, maybe, but that's about the extent of any "multiple partners" at this point. Oh! Language is a MAJOR thing this chapter. Sick humor, Humor in general, and what Harry would consider "attempted rape." Not really, but it gives him a scare XD lol


Harry Potter and the Strange Inheritance

Chapter Four: Did she say…MATE?!

WC: 1616

Note: This is the unbeta-ed version... you have been warned! (Will post beta-ed version when my wonderful beta is done ~ tee hee)


'The chocolate frog must die!'

Harry couldn't help himself! One minute he had hissed his refusal of entertaining the Dark Lord by chasing after the artificially living critter, and next thing he knew…

'Damn instincts.' They were still so new that he couldn't control them yet. 'Well, at least I get chocolate out of the deal.' And he was COVERED in it too!

Harry knew he was probably a sight, what with patches of chocolate coating his lovely scales and all, but…

'I'm having fun damn it!'

It was about damn time he got to enjoy his life. After his horrid childhood and the lack of chances he got to enjoy himself, he didn't feel even an ounce of regret for doing so now. So what if he was in the clutches of the Dark Lord? So what if it was his parents' murderer who was housing him and showing him a good time? So what…

'If I'm fucked up in the head?'

Yeah… he could blame that on the Dursleys. Actually, there was a LOT of shit he could attribute to his relatives and their "loving" treatment. When he thought about it… maybe that's why Tom was so messed up.

Riddle had been raised in an orphanage, right? Surrounded by Muggles. And if THOSE Muggles were anything like the Dursleys then Harry was surprised he wasn't more like the Dark Lord.

'I could have been just like Tom, actually. Honestly, what was Dumbledore THINKING?'

Considering the multiple times Harry had been placed in harms way, sometimes with the old coot's encouragement, the batty bastard probably DIDN'T think.

Amazing how in no time one's world could turn upside down. Just a week or so ago Harry had been heading back to his own personal hell. Now? He was with his worst enemy and having a blast! Heck, said enemy even treated him like a precious person! As if Harry was a treasure or something…

In fact, the Dark Lord seemed to care for him more than he did his own Death Eaters.

§ What do we have here? § A feminine voice brought Harry out of his thoughts with a start.

'Damn, I didn't even hear her approach.' Harry mentally chastised himself for his inattentiveness.

He might be the Dark Lord's "pet," but that didn't mean he was completely safe. There could be traitors among the ranks for all he knew.

Harry turned around to check out the female who had spoken only to come face to face with a big snake. A VERY big snake. Comparatively speaking, he was David and she was freaking Goliath!

§ Hello… §

§ Ah! You're male! I had thought that might be the case, judging from your scent, but there was an underlying… femininity. §

§ Huh? § Was she calling him girly?

§ Has Master brought you to me so that we might mate? § The large girl snake inquired and Harry paled.

Or would have paled if he hadn't been an albino.

§ Um… n… §

§ About time, really. I have been telling Master for ages that he needed to get his tail in gear. §

§ I think you're mistaken… §

§ Oh, I'm not mistaken. I know Master doesn't have a tail, nor is he able to mate with me. §

§ No, I mean… §

§ Enough talking. Let's make babies! §

If Harry looked back he would deny it vehemently, but in that moment he screamed like a little girl and ran -er, slithered- away for dear life!


Voldemort had watched as Stripes went after the first chocolate frog. His new pet was highly amusing and he loved the little guy's energy. The snake had quite literally been like a kid in a candy store. He was something else and the Dark Lord knew he had made the right decision in bringing Stripes home.

However, a Death Eater had interrupted them as Voldemort released the second chocolate frog for Stripes to play with. The Dark Lord had been miffed, to say the least, but he had let it slide. Instead, he had released all but one of the frogs and charmed them to keep jumping until they were consumed…

Or melted, whichever came first.

He had told Stripes to have fun and he would return shortly. Not that his new little pet was listening, but it was courtesy to let the boy know.

First thing the Dark Lord did once he had seen to what the Death Eater thought so "important" was to Crucio the Idiot. Then he had held the Rat under the torture curse for good measure. Honestly, the Idiot thought there was a rat infestation because of Pettigrew's stupid arse. Like THAT was an issue THE DARK LORD needed to take care of. That's what he had SERVANTS for, for Merlin's sake!

'Some people don't deserve to breed…' Stripes had been right about that.

§ Eeeeeep! § The scream sounded feminine and Voldemort picked up his pace.

He could only hope that Stripes hadn't attacked Nagini… Granted, that would be quite a sight considering their size difference.

Before he could dwell on that train of thought, however, he witnessed Stripes slithering out into the halls like the hounds of hell were after his tail. Riddle watched in shock as the snake headed right towards him and…

§ Stripes! § Voldemort exclaimed when said snake went up his trousers. § What in Merlin's name… § Yes the red eyed man had every intention of getting into Stripes' pants when he returned to Human form, but…

§ Get her away! Get her away! I don't want to make babies! § Stripes cried when he made it to Voldemort's shoulders.

Before the Dark Lord had a chance to respond, the albino attempted to climb up to the top of his head.

§ Stripes, stop! What are you talking about? § Voldemort inquired as he tried to pry the albino away from his face.

§ Come here little male! Time to mate… Oh, hello Master. § Nagini greeted before her eyes locked on the smaller snake who appeared to be hyperventilating and clung to the Dark Lord as if his life depended on it. § Can you set my mate down? We need to get busy. §

'Ah, that explains a lot.' Tom shook his head and laughed. § Nagini, I did not bring Stripes here to be your mate. §

The female snake leveled him with a glare. Apparently the news hadn't been received well by the large serpent.

§ Well who did you bring him here to mate with? You? § Nagini huffed and the Dark Lord knew he would need to tread carefully. An angry female was never a good thing, but an angry female SNAKE was even worse.

'Not angry, she sounds almost… jealous.'

Yeah, not good. A jealous female was down right deadly, especially one with FANGS.

§ Perhaps… But that is besides the point. § Voldemort laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood and calm Nagini down. § Stripes isn't really a snake, so no need to be resentful. §

§ I don't resent the fact that you failed to obtain a mate for me. What I am upset about, however, is that I seem to have been replaced and… Wait. What do you mean he's not a snake? § The female cocked her head to the side in a confused gesture.

§ Yeah, what do you mean I'm not a snake? § Stripes asked indignantly before he paused. § Wait, what am I saying…§

Voldemort chuckled and shook his head. § You're one of a kind, Stripes. § He stated as he settled the white snake comfortably around his shoulders.

§ Duh. § Stripes replied and stuck out his forked tongue. § And don't you forget it. §

'I wonder if he will be this cheeky in Human form… Normally I do not like people acting disrespectful, but I like it when a lover doesn't fear me…' He paused as he thought of a certain dark haired teen who had a consistent record of going head to head with him. 'Hmmm, perhaps killing the brat right away is acting a little hasty. Waste not, want not… ' He shrugged mentally. 'Then again, the boy is not near as desirable as a Naga or Lamia.'

Tom smirked as he stroked his mysterious little snake. Yes, regardless of what his pet was, the little guy would be worth it.

§ I still want a mate. § Nagini, on the other hand, might be a problem…

"It seems I will have to play match maker for two people then." Tom sighed and looked into Stripes' green eyes. "Would you like to assist me in this endeavor?"

§ You want ME to help YOU play match maker? * The Dark Lord was sure that his albino friend would have raised an eyebrow at this… if he had any brows to raise of course.

"Certainly. At least if you are assisting in the search, you're not a candidate."

* Then I'd be happy to help, Cupid. §


A/N: Short but funny, right? I hope so… anyway, we see that Tom secretly has a hard-on for Harry, Nagini's baby clock is ticking, plus the Dark Lord and Harry have a project together! lol Sorry for the short chappie, between my little one and work life has been CRAZY . Not only that but my computer went psycho XD lol

Enjoy! I've got work to do now :D … *sigh* And I had been hoping to get some reading of my own done today *looks at new chapter of Little Seer and pouts* Maybe next week…