A/N: Here is the next chapter! I promise you that we finally getting to the Arena and that I'm trying very hard to keep these updates as continual as possible. Also, I'd just like to make it clear that Clovniss IS endgame, no matter what it looks like at the moment. I know that Peeta is turning out to be a homophobic idiot but it's the only way, I think, that Katniss would be able to see him as an enemy because that's the way she is; she sees the best in people.
Also, did you enjoy my Johanna spam? ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games OR it's characters, they belong to Suzanne Collins
At Peeta's admission of love for The Girl on Fire, the blood in my veins turns to ice and fury blazes in my chest
…or is that my heart breaking?
I growl angrily, annoyed that I've resorted to clichés, as I stomp towards the elevator and ignore the mess going on around me. Everybody is in an uproar at the confession and I find myself grimacing as I watch the chaos through the closing elevator doors before it speeds up to the second floor. I all but run to my room, flinging the stupid interview gown over my head and onto the bed before pulling on some clean clothes and sinking into the soft covers. I find myself sobbing before I can do anything about it.
Her lips attacked mine and I moaned into her mouth as my arms wrapped around her, securing her against my lithe body. Her hands wandered underneath my shirt and found the bare skin of my waist, her thumb rubbing it gently as one of my hands traveled upwards and buried itself in her long locks. We were pressed together desperately and I was lost in her. My lips pulled away from hers and she whimpered until I kissed her neck. I moved my mouth downwards and nibbled along her collarbone, sucking lightly as my hand caressed her skin and a moan escaped her lips…
"It was all lies" I scowl, throwing the covers off me and searching through my small amount of belongings to find the note that I got from Katniss what feels like a lifetime ago.
We were stupid to think this could work. Let's go into the arena as just friends, okay?
My tears start anew when I read the words on the page. She knew what she was doing to me the whole time. She knew that she was using me. Suddenly I'm reminded of one of our conversations in the training room… What was it that she'd said?
As if I was staring at you for any other reason than finding your weak spots.
She'd told me outright what her plan was from the beginning and, stupidly, I'd believed her. My head feels like it's spinning and I feel sick to my stomach as I imagine Katniss and Lover Boy sniggering behind my back at my blatant stupidity.
I've actually discovered that some of the tributes would like to put a knife in my back as soon as possible… And let's just say that the ones who do… they have some extremely dirty secrets that could be their downfall...
Katniss will be my downfall… but hadn't I known that from the beginning of this whole mess? I wipe my eyes on my sleeve and laugh at myself with a grimace, despising the fact that I had fallen for her so easily.
"You're going into the arena tomorrow, get a hold of yourself." I chastise myself quietly, wiping the tears off my cheeks before attempting to stand. I can feel my body coursing with adrenaline and pent up emotions but I leave my room and walk confidently to the elevator so as not to draw attention to my current state. I wait for the machine and then enter quickly when it arrives, my finger hovering over the button for the training centre. I have only one thought in mind and that's to soothe my wounds the best and only way I know how; throwing knives but before I can press the button, the elevator closes its doors and speeds upwards before opening on level seven where a male Avox steps into the elevator and gestures to the button pad with a questioning look on his face. Sudden and surprising curiosity, however, at how the Woodcutting District lives overcomes me and I step out onto the hardwood flooring, leaving the Avox to go about his business. I wander from room to room, listing the differences between the District 2 and District 7 floors and then I'm planting a hand on the wood of a door and I'm intending to go in and have a look around but I hear someone call out to me.
"You're not supposed to be on this floor" A voice that I recognise accuses me and I begin to freak out, my training nearly flying out of the window. I force myself to focus and square my shoulders before turning around to find myself alone in a corridor with the formidable Victress from District 7, Johanna Mason.
"I'm looking for somebody" I lie, trying to sound more confident than I feel. She doesn't speak for a while, her arms crossing over her chest as she inspects me. I begin to feel extremely self- conscious as she watches me and I start to wonder if I still look like I've been crying.
"Who are you looking for?" She asks challengingly and I'm suddenly reminded of how she became a Victor in the first place; by lying to the whole Capital. Her eyes are narrowed and I'm aware of how obvious I am when I lie. I stare at the Victress, trying my hardest to find an answer to her question before I realise that I don't actually have one. I lean against the wall closest to me, thinking about the question posed to me when I realise that, really, it isn't a lie.
"I…" I begin before I find myself at a loss for words, my brain taken over by images of the two women I have loved.
Who AM I looking for? Amanda? Katniss? ...myself?
I look up at her and I shrug softly, unable to answer her.
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again" I tell her and I'm surprised by the look of shame that flits over her face as I'm pushing past her and fast-walking towards the elevator. A bubble of laughter erupts inside my chest as I realise my choice of wording. The training room, mercifully, is empty and I set up a session. My knives find the heart of every single dummy that I fling them at. I picture every single one as Peeta.
So what do you think? A review would be nice, if you could, just to let me know what you think of this chapter and if you're excited that The Arena is just around the corner? Thanks!