Today is River Song's birthday. Even though she didn't want anyone to make a fuss about it, The Doctor knew exactly what present to give to her...

I dedicate this fanfic to all my Twitter friends who are all awesome :D

It was that time of year again. River Song's birthday. It had come around so fast. Well, it would if you were travelling around in a blue box that could go anywhere in time and space with a bow-tie wearing Time Lord. It had to be lived sometime, even though River desperately didn't want to.

But no matter how hard she tried to avoid it, like distracting The Doctor by taking him with her on many enthralling and dangerous adventures, she knew he would eventually land the TARDIS on one of the days she hated the most. She was annoyed at The Doctor for doing so, but she could never stay mad at that face for long. How could she?

River hated her birthday. It just reminded her that she was taken away as a baby from her parents, Amy and Rory Pond, to be raised into the perfect pyschopath to kill The Doctor. The man she was told to hate but ended up falling head over high heels in love with. She did actually fall over in her high heels for him once. It was his fault. If he hadn't grabbed her hand and practically dragged her into the Fez shop on Gelciafallorian 7, she wouldn't have tripped over her own feet in his haste to get there. But still, it wasn't all bad in the end. She wouldn't let him buy a Fez, despite his constant pleads and moans.

River had never had a proper birthday. She never had one when she was living in the orphanage in America in 1969. River couldn't imagine Madam Kovarian or The Silence throwing her a party, wearing colourful hats or playing pass-the-parcel. She never had one when she was growing up in Leadworth as Mels with Amy and Rory. She never told them when her birthday was anyway. And Mr and Mrs Zucker, her foster parents, chose to respect her wishes when she said she didn't want a fuss.

She never even celebrated with The Doctor, though that was about to change...

River was in the TARDIS control room the morning of the dreaded day. She was just making subtle improvements to the console when The Doctor bounded into the room, a grin on his face and one of his hands behind his back.

"Morning, River. Happy birthday!" He held out an arm to hug her but she dodged out of the way, not looking him in the eyes.

"Don't remind me, sweetie. Like I want to be reminded of the fact I'm getting older and the other non-existent birthdays I've had."

The Doctor looked momentarily hurt, before covering it up with a smile. He walked around the console to where River was now looking at the scanner.

"Then I suppose you don't want this?" Taking his arm from behind his back, what River saw made her gasp. In his hand sat a thin, black rectangular box tied with a midnight blue ribbon. The Doctor laughed as River took the box out of his grasp, wide-eyed.

"My love, I thought I said 'no presents'" River said, though her fingers had already unwrapped the blue material from around the box, putting the ribbon in her pocket. She thought she could use it to tie up her curly hair. There was no point in wasting it.

The Doctor pretended to look shocked. "You've got to have a present on your birthday, River! Birthdays without presents is like Christmas without Santa Clause. Rubbish!"

He reached out a hand to push back her curls from one of her ears. He put his mouth towards her right ear and he felt her shiver.

"Open it" The Doctor whispered, his breath tickling her cheek. River raised an eyebrow, her hand poised over the object in her hand.

"You haven't brought me a gun have you, sweetie? I'm in deseparate need of a new one."

The Doctor sighed. He hated violence so there was no way in Rassilon he would get her anything like that.

"No it's not a gun, River. Open it and you'll find out." Just before River went to prise the box open, The Doctor pulled one of the levers to his left to send the TARDIS into the time vortex. "You'll like it, I promise."

River smirked, knowing that if he liked the present he got her wouldn't necessarily mean that she would. Digging her long fingernails into the side of the box, she finally caught sight of her gift. When she saw what it was, her face broke into a big smile. Sitting in the middle of the box was The Doctor's sonic screwdriver.

River picked it up and gazed at her husband, who was grinning triumphantly. "Like it?" he asked, watching River twist the screwdriver in her hands. River nodded, a soft smile playing on her features.

"Oh, Doctor. It's perfect. Thank you." She pressed a kiss to his cheek, laughing lightly when she saw him blush. "But I can't accept this. What if you need it? You without the sonic screwdriver is like asking for trouble."

The Doctor put a hand in his jacket pocket and pulled out another screwdriver almost identical to the one he previously owned.

"Don't worry. I always carry a spare!" Putting an arm around his wife, he kissed the top of her head. She leaned against him, her hand absent mindedly stroking the back of his tweed jacket.

"But why would I need a sonic screwdriver?" she said, twirling it between her fingers like a baton. She looked at The Doctor, waiting for his response.

The Doctor began to flick a few switches on the console, running a hand through his hair. "I thought you might need it. Incase you need to make a quick escape. Now you're at the Luna University, Professor Song, you'll be going on your own adventures. I won't be around to get you out of whatever mischief you'll get yourself into. So, I thought my screwdriver would be the perfect gift."

River smiled and gazed at the sonic screwdriver, the pad of her thumb running over it. She had to admit it was the best present she had ever received, even better than the Ulenza crystal necklace The Doctor got her last Christmas. River stood on her tip-toes to give The Doctor a quick kiss, whose face turned red again at the contact.

"I made some improvements to the screwdriver. It now has dampers and a torch attached. Oh, and I almost forgot!"

Reaching into his trouser pocket, he pulled out an object which made River shriek in surprise. She immediately snatched it out of his hand, placing the sonic screwdriver on the console.

"A squareness gun?! Sweetie, these are extremely rare. Where on earth did you manage to get one?"

The Doctor chuckled, a mysterious glint in his eye. "I got it from an old friend of mine. Captain Jack Harkness. Let's just say he didn't need it anymore so I thought I'd give it to you."

River nodded, grinning. "You stole it didn't you, honey?"

The Doctor slapped a hand to his forehead. "How did you know that?! Am I that obvious?" The Doctor sighed, folding his arms across his chest.

River laughed and took a step closer to her husband, a flirtatious smile on her face. "I know you all too well, sweetie."

Pushing his fringe out of his eyes, she leaned up to kiss him again, wrapping her arms around his neck. He leaned into her touch, his hands ruffling her curly hair.

After a few minutes, they broke apart. They both smiled at each other, breathless.

"Thank you for my presents, Doctor. I love them." River stared at the screwdriver and squareness gun sitting on the console. Picking them up, she placed the sonic in her inside jacket pocket and the gun in the belt of her jeans. From now on, she would take them with her wherever she went and would guard them with her life. They were the first birthday gifts she ever received and there was no way she was going to lose them.

The Doctor grinned and pulled River into a hug. "It's my pleasure." He tucked a curl of her hair behind of her ear, his finger stroking the side of her face affectionately. "Happy birthday, River Song."

River smiled, her nose resting in the crook of The Doctor's neck. Even though she hated her birthday, maybe when celebrating it with her husband, it wouldn't be so bad after all.

I hope everyone enjoyed this :)

Amy x