So this is the first chapter of a story that I might continue depending on if you guys like it or think it has potential so let me know please:)

not sure when i will be continuing it because i am still trying to get out of writers block with Lima Nut House. Im completely stuck on that and this just popped in to my head after reading the perks of being a wallflower (highly recommend it) and you know what its like. The thought just bugs and bugs you until you write it down :)

so anyway tell me what you like and peace :)


She sat on her bed, tapping her fingers restlessly against her leg. It was her first day of high school tomorrow.

Middle school wasn't exactly great; in fact it was down right horrible. She was the 'freak' because she didn't talk often. It's not that she couldn't she just didn't want to.

It wasn't that she wasn't a freak because she kind of was, what kind of teen is on antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills? But the school didn't know that so they were calling her a freak for different reasons.

People made her anxious. Say when a teacher asked her a question in class, even though she knew the answer, she would stutter and her palms would get all clammy. And then once she'd managed to stutter out the answer and the teacher turned their back paper balls, erasers and pencils were thrown at her along with a few unoriginal names.

But she assumed high school would be better; I couldn't get much worse could it?

People in there should be more grown up. More mature. Right?

She jumped when there was a light knock on her door and her older sister, Ellie, peeked her head into the room "How you doing, kid?"

Rachel just nodded dumbly. She'd never really understood why she called her 'kid' there is only a four-year difference between them.

"How're you feeling about tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure how I feel"

"What do you mean?" Ellie asked, the familiar look of concern setting on her features.

"I don't know what I feel"

"Are you happy?"

Rachel nodded "And scared. And sad. But I don't think you can feel all that at once"

"That's normal. You're starting a new school tomorrow, Rach"

"But how can I feel all that at once? It's confusing" Rachel murmured, bringing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them.

Ellie smiled, playfully punching Rachel lightly on her arm "You're ok, this is normal. But if it starts to get worse you come talk to me, ok?"

"I will"

"Ellie, Pete's here"

"I've gotta get going. I'll be back but eleven if you wanna talk then" the older sibling said, pressing her lips against Rachel's head before getting up and leaving.

Rachel sighed, getting to her feet and walking over to the window to see Ellie run out of the house into her boyfriend's arms. Rachel never liked him. She was always a good judge of character, she saw thing other people didn't and there was something about Pete she didn't like. The looks he'd give Ellie when they were having dinner, her dad never seemed to notice it but she did. She didn't know what it meant but she didn't like it.

She took a seat at her desk and pulled out her latest book, 'the curious incident of the dog in the night-time'.

She enjoyed reading; she had a lot of time for it to. She didn't have any friends so she didn't have anyone to distract her but she didn't mind, books were enough for her.

She settled into the chair, bringing her knees up to her chest as she began reading from where she'd left off.


She shrunk into herself as she walked down the crowded hallway, her hands tucked into her sleeves and those shoved into her pockets. She hoped if she could look as small as possible no one would pick on her.

"Watch out, fresh meat" a large boy in a letterman jacket sneered as he shoved past her, sending her books flying cross the floor.

Sighing, the brunette knelt down to pick up her books. After taking a few bags to the side of the head and people trampling on her books she finally picked them up and headed to her first class.

"Nice bag, nerd" a girl snapped as she took a seat at an empty desk. She'd gone through this for long enough to know that there was no point in acknowledging the girl so she just took out her notepad and settled back into her chair, drumming her pen off of the pad.

"Alright class, I'm Mr. Marshall and I'm going to be your English teacher this year. The first book we're going to study is the amazing 'Of mice and men' has anyone here read it?" Rachel stared down at her page, not wanting to say anything but she had read it. During summer.

"But first I want you to write a small essay about yourself. Just your name and what you like to do in your spare time. Maybe a couple of facts about yourself"

Rachel sighed, placing her pen to her paper. What could she write? All there was to know was her name was Rachel and she enjoyed reading? She could put down the fact that she was potentially insane but she decided that was a bit heavy for the first day.


Just like in middle school she was sat up the back on the canteen at lunch, by herself and she read her book. Every so often she would look up and scan the canteen but the one time something, or rather someone caught her eye, lunch was about to finish. The blonde girl was sat at a table against the wall with a group of five. She was grinning slightly over at the brunette girl across from her.

Rachel's lips tugged up into a sort of smiled. She'd never seem someone so beautiful before.

The blonde looked away from the girl in front of her, her eyes locking with Rachel's. The smile instantly dropped from Rachel's lips and her eyes shot back down to her book. She'd just been caught leering; she couldn't wait to get teased about this.

'Hey dyke, stalking the pretty blonde now are we' she could practically hear it already.

Her eyes lifted over her book again to see the blonde still looking at her with a frown on her face. She didn't look mad though, more curious.

"Hey, weirdo" a voice growled and then her book was hit out of her hand, she was about to reach down for it but the jock bet her to it, ripping out the last couple of pages and handed it back to her with a smug smile on his face "Sorry"

Rachel just downcast her eyes as the boys turned and hi5'd his friends and walked off.

The bell rung and Rachel took her time putting her things into her bag; she didn't want to get caught up in the rush to get to class.

She enjoyed her next class, chemistry, she enjoyed most classes other than Gym and Shop.

She walked into the class, only briefly raising her eyes to look for an empty seat and noticed one of the people from the group the pretty blonde was sitting with, the boy with the Mohawk. She was pretty sure he wasn't a freshman.

"Ok class and Mr. Puckerman" the boy in front of her grinned at the teacher "This is chemistry. I'm sure you've done a little bit of this. I know you have, Noah"

"Good to see you to sir" the boy, Noah, said, leaning on her elbows on his desk.

A smile twitched on Rachel's lips. She wasn't normal entertained by 'bad boys' but Noah wasn't being a bad boy he was being more playful than anything else.

"The person next to you will be your lab partner. I introduce yourself"

"You'll be doing all the work. Understand, nerd?" The blonde teens snapped and Rachel just stared at her desk. Just like middle school.


Her sister had asked her to go to the football game only to disappear a half-hour into it with Pete.

She sighed and she took a drink of her juice and sat back down on the bench just as something happened on the field and everyone stood up. She stood up, purely because everyone else did, she didn't know what was happened.

A howl behind her made her turn around to see the boy from her chemistry class, Noah, yelling. His face pained half white and half red.

Rachel chuckled, looking down at her seat and glancing up at the seat across from Noah.

She wanted to go sit with him but her was a senior her wouldn't want her swarming around like an annoying fly, right? But he did seem nice enough to at least acknowledge her. Rachel took in a deep breath before heading up the bleachers and sitting across from Noah. Once the crowed had dissolved into a murmur she leant over "Noah" her mumbled and the boys eyes snapped to her.

"Hey, you're the Jew from my Chem class, right?"

"Rachel"

"Rachel. Right. How's it going?"

"Y-yea. Good thank you"

"You waiting for some friend or do you wanna sit?"

"Sit, yea" Rachel mumbled, cursing internally at how eager her sounded "You like football?"

"Love it. I did play it until I busted my knee. How about you?"

"Uh, not re..." Rachel was cut of by someone sat on the small space beside her and shoved her lightly with her hip.

"Any parties?" Noah said, not taking his eyes off of the field whereas Rachel turned to see who it was next to her. Her throat instantly tightened when she saw the blonde from lunch sitting next to her with her eyes on the field.

"Yup. At Sam's house. Now, who's your friend, Puck?" The blonde asked, turning her attention to Rachel with a smile on her face.

"Oh, right this is Labrat. Labrat this is Quinn"

"Well Labrat, we're going to a party after if you wanna join"

"Uh, a party?"

"Yea, you know the thing with people and drinks. The odd solo cup?" Quinn teased and Rachel's chest tightened thinking that she was poking fun but it want away when the corner of Quinn's lip lifted slightly "It will be fun, Labrat. Tag along with us"

"Yea" Noah cheered, wrapping an arm around her shoulder "We'll look after you, Rachel"

"Sure. I'll come"

"Great" Noah grinned, taking one of Rachel's nachos.

"Would you like one?" The brunette asked, holding out her bowl of nachos towards Quinn.

"Thank you" Quinn said, taking one of Rachel's nachos and turning her attention back to the game.

Once the game was over she followed Noah, or as Quinn called him 'Puck', and Quinn out to Noah's truck.

"Welcome to the Puckmobile"

"It's nice" Rachel murmured and Quinn laughed.

"No it isn't. Don't lie to him"

"It's... Uh, retro" Rachel said.

"Oooooh" Quinn breathed, grinning over at Puck.

"That was a nice was of saying it was just scrap metal"

Rachel smiled down at her hand, tangling them together.

"So, Labrat, how was your first day of school?"

"You know" Rachel shrugged "It was school"

Quinn watched her carefully, waiting for Rachel's eyes to give her something but a song on the radio, 'Cherry Bomb by the runaways', caught her attention.

Rachel smiled, drumming her fingers against her leg.

"Love songs like this, you know? Oldies"

"Well if you love old songs you should try this station" Rachel leant forward and peering into the tuner, she was hopeless without her glasses. Once she found the channel a smile bounced onto Quinn's face when Fleetwood Mac played through the speakers "It's all oldies on this channel. It's my favorite radio channel"

"And you like Fleetwood Mac"

Rachel nodded "They're one of my favorite bands"

"I think you and me are gonna be good friends, Labrat" Quinn grinning before throwing her hands up and singing out the lyrics to the song as loud as she could but Rachel didn't really notice her ears were still ringing for the word friend.

Shed never had anyone call her a friend. Ever. She wasn't sure if Quinn meant it or it was just a figure of speech but it gave her butterflies nonetheless.

The house was packed, Rachel could feel her breathing shallow as people brushed up against her from every direction. But she had to calm down. She didn't want to lose it here.

"You ok, Labrat? You look pale?" Quinn asked half teasing, half serious.

"Yea" Rachel replied, her voice cracking.

Quinn still look concerned but turned when a man tapped her shoulder. Quinn pecked him on the lips before turning to Rachel "This gets to much you come find me and we'll leave, alright?"

Rachel nodded dumbly, watching the girl disappear into the crowd with the man, who must have at least been in his second year of college.

"He's a jerk" Noah said, Rachel had kind of figured though, wrapping his arm around Rachel's shoulder and scanned the crowd "Ah, there we go"

The began leading them through the crowed until they were in the front room, which was relatively empty compared to everywhere else.

"Take as seat, Rachel" the boy pushed her down onto the sofa before pointing to her right where two girls sat, arms wrapped around each other, then pointed to the floor where a brunette sat "These love birds are Santana and Brittany and that third wheel is Marley. Guys, entertain her"

The couple just went back to making out on the sofa but the girl on the floor shuffled forward until she was crossed legged at Rachel's feet "Ellie's sister, right?" The girl asked, squinting at Rachel and pointed at her.

Rachel nodded, watching her thumbs as they ran circles around each other.

"That must make you a freshman, since I've never seen you around school"

"That's ok, right? I mean I can leave"

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm just curious and since you don't seem like you're going to starts a conversation"

"Sorry" Rachel murmured and Marley chuckled.

"Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong and even if you did, you still don't apologize" Marley smiled calmly at Rachel.

"Hey, freshman" a voice called and Rachel cringed, waiting for something to happen. To be humiliated but nothing happened.

"What's the matter?" Marley asked, a concerned frown on her face, but not the kind that her sister always had.

"N-nothing"

"Want a brownie?" A boy asked, his blonde hat flopping into his eyes as he leant over the back of the sofa to look at her.

"God, yea. I'm starving"

"Sam.." Marley mumbled but the blonde just waved her off and allowed Rachel to take a brownie.

Rachel took a bite out of the cake, it tasted a little different but everyone had they're different ways of making brownies, right? "These are great"

"Yea they are" Sam agreed, a dumb laugh escaping his lips as her sat down next to Rachel "So, how goes it, fresh bake?"

Rachel nodded, finishing off the rest of her brownie "Pretty good"

"Well it's about to get a whole lot better"

Rachel frowned but decided to ignore the boy and listen to the conversation between him and Marley.

It was about ten minutes later her vision started getting funny and twenty minutes before she was sitting on the floor stroking the carpet. She didn't know what was happening but she liked it. She felt free, like no one was judging her.

"So what do you think of high school Rachel?"

"High school? High school sucks ass. It's full of self righteous meat heads in letterman jackets who are only popular because they play with balls" she chuckled to herself before shaking her head "That sounded wrong but you know what I mean. They probably can't even tie their shoelaces without singing the bunny song. Lets face it, there was probably be a McDonald's uniform in their future or a cardboard box and a door way"

The group of four in front of her laughed making her laugh even though she wasn't exactly sure what at.

"You know, I like this kid" Santana said, pointing at Rachel.

"And I like you, though you're a little bit of a bitch" Rachel murmured, apparently the filter in her brain was gone. She though she was in trouble but the group laughed and even Santana cracked a smile.

"You're baked, Berry!" Sam cheered, just as Quinn walked up to the back of the sofa.

"This chick is a blast, Quinn. She's the one stray I don't mind you taking in"

Quinn eyes Sam before looking at Rachel "You ok, Labrat?"

"I really want some pickles" Rachel mumbled, more to herself than anyone else.

The kids on the sofa laughed and Quinn chuckled as she helped Rachel to her feet "Have you felt that carpet?"

"Yea. Lets go get you some pickles and a drink of soda"

"You know, I thought that, no offense, this was gonna suck. Not because of the people here but because of me"

"What do you mean?" Quinn asked, sitting Rachel at the kitchen counter and looking through the cupboards for pickles.

"Doesn't matter" Rachel shook her head and looked up into Quinn's eyes "Your eyes are amazing. They're beautiful, anyone every told you that?"

"No, not without wanting something" Quinn said, a cheeky smile on her face as she placed the glass down in front of Rachel.

"Ooh, no. No, Quinn I don't want anything from you"

"And I believe you" Quinn sat across from Rachel "What's this?" The blonde asked, reaching across and looping her finger through a ring around Rachel's neck.

"My moms wedding ring"

"Ah, your parents divorced?"

"They were never married"

Quinn frowned, clearly confused "Where is she now?"

"She shot herself when I was thirteen" Rachel mumbled and Quinn froze, she eyes boring into Rachel's as if waiting for her to continue but the brunette just drained the rest of her soda and got to her feel "Gotta pee"

Rachel climbed the stairs and began looking for the bathroom. Opening the first door she came to and her eyes widened slightly, her hand coming up to cover her eyes "Sorry" she mumbled to a shocked Marley and Kitty as she left the room.

"Rachel..." Marley called after her as she began looking for the bathroom again.

"I didn't see a thing"

"I know you did but its cool. It's just" Marley stopped Rachel and turned her to look at her, a smile crossing her lips "Are you baked?"

"As a cake. That's was Sam said" Rachel said, grinning at the brunette who chuckled.

"Listen, mini Berry, Kitty doesn't want anyone to know about us so this can just be our little secret, right?"

"Of course. My lips are locked" Rachel pretended to lock her lips and throw the key over her shoulder.

"You're alright, kid" Marley smiled and Rachel smiled back.

"I really gotta pee"

"Last door on your left"

Rachel smiled and nodded, turning on her heels and heading into the bathroom.

Once she was done she looked at herself in the mirror. She felt like she was outside of her body and looking at herself through someone else's eyes. It was a weird kind of good feeling.

Rachel left the bathroom and almost collided with Quinn "Oh, hello"

"Are you ok?"

"I feel great"

Quinn nodded but she wasn't convinced "Lets go down stairs, huh?"

"Ok" Rachel headed downstairs, sitting down on the floor, smiling when Noah and Brittany sat either side of her.

"Puck, come here" Quinn said and Puck did as he was told, hopping to his feet and walking over to Quinn who began whispering in his ear.

"Do you like Quinn?" Brittany asked, smiling over at Rachel.

"Quinn's lovely" Rachel nodded, turning to Brittany "Do you like Quinn?"

"She's my best friend so kind of"

Rachel nodded, probing her head up with her hands and resting her elbows on her knees.

"Alright guys, listen up" Noah hollered and Quinn whistled, gaining everyone's attention "I'd like y'all to lift your drinks to our new friend Rachel"

Rachel's head shot out of her hands as she looked at Quinn and Puck confused "What did I do?"

"Nothing. Lets hear it for Rachel" a cheer rippled through the crowed and Rachel grinned, she couldn't help it.

Quinn walked over to Rachel, the brunette's eyes following her almost mesmerized until the blonde was crouched in front of her "Welcome to the island of misfit toys"

Rachel smiled, frowning when Quinn took a hold of her hand and pulled her to her feet "Lets get you home, ok?"

Rachel nodded, allowing Quinn pull her through the crowed to the man Quinn was with earlier in the night "I'm leaving"

The boy frowned "What do you mean you're leaving?" He growled.

"I'm taking Rachel home them I'm going home" Quinn turned to leave but the boy grabbed her arm so tight Quinn winced in pain.

Rachel thought it was probably the drugs, because she would never do this for someone outside her family, but she push forward and shove the boy's arm away from Quinn "Hey!" She snapped feebly and the boy just growled down at her.

"Come on Rachel, lets go"

Both girls left the house and hopped into the car where Puck was waiting.

"Everything ok?"

"Yea, fine"

They drove the rest of the way with just the sound of the radio in the background. Rachel's head rested against the back of these at as she looked at the stars and street lights out of the sunroof.

Once they reached Rachel's house, Noah remembered it from one day her dropped Ellie off, Rachel got out of the car and was surprised when Quinn followed her out and up to the door.

"Thank you" the blonde said when they reached the door.

"For what?"

"You forgot already?" Rachel shrugged and Quinn chuckled "Sticking up for be against Brent. It was brave. Stupid but brave"

"I could have kicked his ass if I wanted to" Rachel joked and Quinn smiled.

"Drink loads of water ok, to flush that from your system and never take anything Sam offers you"

"Ok" Rachel agreed, smiling as Quinn pulled a piece of paper from her jean pocket.

"You ever need to talk you just call me, ok?"

"You sure?"

"Of course. See you tomorrow, Labrat. Sit with us at lunch?"

Rachel's mouth opened and closed before she nodded stupidly.

"Night" Quinn called as she backed away and got into Puck's truck.

"Ciao, Berry" Puck cheered before taking off.

Rachel grinned, bouncing lightly on her toes as she turned and walked into her house, gasping slightly when she saw her sister standing there, bruise circling her eye.

"The hell happened, El?"

"Walked into a door. D'you have fun?"

Rachel knew it was a lie but there was no point in pushing "So much fun. I met new friends too. Mainly Quinn and Noah"

"Fabray and Puck?"

"Yea, they're great aren't they?"

Ellie frowned and Rachel just smiled, bouncing past her and up to her room.

She felt amazing and she didn't think it was all down to the drugs. She had friends. Yes, the freak Rachel Berry had friends!

Sighed, she fell back into her bed and closed her eyes, suddenly very exhausted from her firstparty.