Peeta's POV from wip First Speech, it is not necessary to have read FS to enjoy this one shot, but it would help. This outtake was created as a submission for Prompts in Panem writing challenge on tumblr day five.
Something is on her mind, I can tell because she has been shifting nervously in her chair and tearing pieces of her dinner roll up. "Katniss, is something wrong?" My stomach twists at having to ask this, the entire time we have been doing, whatever it is we are doing, it is like we take one step back for every two steps forward. I consider yesterday to be maybe five or six steps forward, and am pretty much just waiting for the ball to drop.
"Peeeee-tah," she heavily emphasizes my name, the elongation of the pronunciation is because of exasperation, but reminds me of the breathy way my name wisped from her lips yesterday when I worked my blending brush over her skin, "nothing is wrong, I just have been meaning to ask if you've tested recently." My mind is on the way she had arched her back, pushing her body towards me, moaning, panting my name, I stare at her lips trying to process what she is saying, but the only sensation I can feel is my Judas of a cock straining against my pants. Et tu, dick? Apparently jerking off before I picked her up for dinner did nothing in the way of preventing boners in inopportune moments, being around Katniss makes me feel like I'm a horny teenager all over again.
Tests, she mentioned tests, she works as a graduate assistant so tests aren't out of the norm, but I think she is asking me about tests I've taken. I smile and laugh, "I went to nursing school; I've taken plenty of tests, Katniss, just not any recently."
Katniss rolls her eyes at me, this is nothing new and I actually find it kind of cute, "Fuck Peeta, don't be an ass, you know what I mean. Have you been tested… sexually?" Oh, she's asking if I've been tested for sexually transmitted diseases, which is actually good, I've been meaning to initiate this discussion. Katniss has suddenly become nervous and is staring at anything to avoid looking at my face. I never know what type of reaction to expect out of her, she keeps me on my toes. Yesterday we were masturbating in my bedroom together, and today she is fidgeting like a teenager trying to confess to their parents that they had wrecked the family car.
"Of course Katniss, I'm a nurse. I saw enough in my rotation at the student health center during school to be smart about my sexual history." That came out a bit shorter than I intended, and it has nothing to do with her, it's more about my erection, which is pressing tightly against the zipper of my jeans and is becoming uncomfortable.
She smirks at me, "Okay, Nurse Mellark, that's good to know. I'm clean too." The situation in my pants was starting to settle a bit, and then she goes and says something like that. Something so unintentionally sexy, that has an entirely unexpected effect on me. I get called those two things all the time, but the haughty way in which she said it implied authority. I really liked it, and so did my cock.
"So, yeah, I'm on birth control, but I prefer using condoms too." Katniss continues, unaware of what is going on underneath the table, she stares at me, almost like she is waiting for me to object, when I don't she continues, "I feel like it's your responsibility to buy them. Don't even think of showing up with anything scented, lubricated for my pleasure," I smile at her perfectly executed sarcasm, "or with weird twists and ribs and shit. I want to come as close to actually feeling you as possible." My heart clenches a bit at how sweet she really is. Katniss started out strong telling me exactly what she wanted, but when it came to admitting something personal, her voice softened and she seemed nervous.
This is one of those proceed with caution moments, because she has given me a little, and if I don't acknowledge it she may never offer anything again. Conversely if I make too big of a deal, say something overly sappy, it will be several more steps backward. I decide to not say something because words tend to frighten her, instead I opt for dropping my fork, reaching across the table and squeezing the hand she has resting on there. Katniss rewards me with one of her genuine smiles, these are my favorite because they are subtle. The sides of her mouth tilt upwards, a small flash of teeth appear through her lips, her cheeks tint a slight pink, and her eyes crinkle at the sides. These are the smiles I have come to live for, they are nothing like any smile any other woman has ever given me, and they are one hundred percent Katniss Everdeen.
The drive in movie was a good, and bad idea. Good because we made out in the back seat of my Jeep for thirty minutes straight, at first we awkwardly embraced over the console before moving it to the back seat where she straddled me and started grinding into me. She's wearing one of those loose cotton skirts that equal dressing up to her. I love it because she looks stunning and in her element dressed casually, but also because when I made a move to adjust myself I could feel remnants of dampness on the front of my jeans. It was a bad idea because now we are leaving and headed to her house, she is staring out in front of her, cheeks flushed with a gorgeous grin on her face.
The rules are the best and worst thing to happen to our pseudo relationship. Without the rules I'm pretty sure she would have bailed after the first time we were intimate. I like to kid myself and say it would have been because of the connection she felt to me scared her, but I'm smarter than that, she would have left because she got what she originally wanted from me.
I want her so bad it hurts, like I literally will explode if I don't find out what it feels like to be inside her soon, very soon. We can't though, it's out of the question and nothing will change that. I think even if Katniss promised not to leave I still wouldn't believe her. I know she has feelings for me, budding, but her possible real feelings, and her natural instinct is to run away. I can see it every time we share something. It's like her fight or flight instinct is warring in her head, making it a struggle to not get up and leave forever.
While it may seem that I have little faith in her, the truth of the matter is that I have little faith in anyone. Usually I choose women who are predictable. I like to have some semblance of control over the relationship, dictate the course of things, and breaking up, well it has always been my choice. With Katniss I know that I could never leave her, barring some unforeseen grievance that she may commit, I'm in too deep, fallen to hard. I know it isn't the same with her, once we sleep together there is nothing tethering her to me. I'm not ready to face the very real possibility that once we have sex she will walk away.
We pull into the drive; I don't know what we are going to do when we get in there. The rules have already been amended, and if we keep up this pace then in a few days we won't have anywhere else to go but all the way. Katniss jumps out of the car and the look she gives me melts my resolve, the guarded air she wears has slipped, and I can see something else blended with desire. I catch these looks from her from time to time, but they usually pass as quickly as they came, and I haven't quite figured out what it means yet. I know it makes me feel wanted, not for just what's between my legs, but actually wanted. I try not to let myself get used to it.
We've made it back to her bedroom, I'm sitting on the edge of her bed and she has taken to straddling my lap again. "So, I take it the rules are still the rules, right?" Her ass is resting on my knees, and I've got my hands resting lightly on her hips. Katniss' delicate fingers are working her hair loose from her braid, yet her eyes are trained on mine.
I feel like I should apologize to her or something, shit at least apologize to my dick for my behavior, but I don't. "That works for me." It doesn't though, they don't work for me at all, I want to roll her over onto the bed and push into her. We can't take that step just yet, my body may be ready, I'm just not convinced I am.
"Well, did you bring any art supplies or are we doing this clothes on?" Her hair is loose around her face now, she looks fantastic and she feels even better as she closes the distance between our hips and starts swiveling in full, slow circles. My dick has gone from semi erect to fully engorged erection several times tonight, poor guy he's fighting a losing battle.
I lean in and take her bottom lip into my mouth, I know what I want to do, I've been thinking about it on and off since I discovered it. I just want to get her worked up a bit before I ask, because I don't really feel like dealing with sassy Katniss right now, I need compliant Katniss.
I don't think I could ever tire of her kisses. I don't even know how to describe the way she kisses because it is so mind blowing. Most of the women I've kissed have either been too passive or too aggressive, and with Katniss it's perfect. I work my way from her mouth to her neck, her skin is smooth against my lips, and I can smell and faintly taste her vanilla body wash. She throws her head back and moans softly when I begin nibbling on that spot between her jaw and chin that is more sensitive than the rest of her neck.
If I'm going to ask, now is the time to do it. Her whole body has gone slack in my arms, and the only movement she is making is the swivel of her hips against my groin. "I know what I want to do." I murmur into her skin before I resume tediously doling attention to her favorite spot.
Her battery operated friend. I had unintentionally stumbled up on it, imagine my surprise to find it there, I was embarrassed. Now, I wish I had spent more time studying it, understanding it. I remember what color it was, but that is all. I'm envious of that little purple bastard, where it's been, what she does to herself with it, but I'm also incredibly fascinated. Especially now, when I have a visual of exactly how she looks with her panties off, I waste time thinking of that purple toy slipping in, and sliding out of her with the guidance of her own small hands. By waste time, I mean jerk off furiously when I'm alone.
"Show me how you use your friend." This catches her attention, and she pulls away from my mouth.
"I think I heard you wrong, because it sounded like you wanted me to go get Johanna." Her eyebrows raise and her lips purse into a thin line.
Shit. I thought all of the blood in my body had long ago rushed to my crotch, I was wrong, I can feel my cheeks redden.
"Spit it out, Peeta." She looks irritated. Surely she can't think I wanted to involve Johanna.
This is harder to say then it should be, I'm just so unfamiliar with toys and things of this nature in the bedroom, but entirely intrigued by the idea. "Show me how you use the thing in the closet."
It's obvious when realization dawns, her eyes widen, and then she smiles shyly, "It's nothing exciting, but yeah we can try that." She backs up off of my lap and retrieves the purple toy from the closet. I stare at it in her hands. It is more slender than I remember, I had imagined it to be the size of me or something similar, but it isn't as thick. Katniss stands there holding the sparkly, purple object, shifting her weight from foot to foot. She's nervous now, I can tell by the way she is working her bottom lip with her tooth. "Technically speaking, I mean, with the rules and all, can't you touch me with this?" She is doing something with the flat end of the toy and it buzzes to life and then off again, on and then off again.
"I don't see why not." I extend my hand and she places the mysterious purple object in my palm, it's cool to the touch and I'm not sure how she got it to buzz. "How does it work?" She reaches over and shows me how the flat end turns, the more I turn it the faster the buzzing. How the hell am I going to pull this off. "Will you show me how to get started?"
"Peeta." My name is a soft plea on her lips, this fantastically vulgar girl is completely subdued at the idea of showing me how to pleasure her. I'm starting to figure out that Katniss Everdeen is all brash words, and when it comes time to action she is actually rather timid.
I kick out of my shoes, raise my legs, and settle myself on the bed before I reach for her. Katniss takes my hand and joins me on the bed. I lean in and kiss her, hoping to settle both of our nerves, and get things rolling back on the right track. The kisses progress quickly and soon I find myself hovering over the top of her as our mouths and hips move together. Her legs are wrapped around my hips, and I can feel the damp heat of her pressed up against me. My cock is throbbing and aching from pressing against her as tightly as I can manage.
The kiss breaks, we are both panting hard and need to stop to breathe. I press my forehead into hers and our eyes connect, she gives me that genuine smile again, the one that is so hard to come by and I'm overwhelmed with everything right now; the feel of her, this connection with her, just the fact that I'm here with her and she wants me. My eyes close, and I push myself up off of her then slide down her body. I slip my fingers into the waist band of her skirt, catching her underwear in the process, and pull both articles of clothing off of her. Katniss' knees, which had been bent up towards the ceiling with her legs slightly spread, clamp together suddenly. "Shuck some clothing, Mellark. It's only fair."
"You're right." My shirt and jeans hit the floor, and I swear I hear my cock breathe a sigh of relief. I make a move to spread her legs, when I remember that I can't touch her. "Katniss, quit being shy I've seen you already, remember?"
Her legs fall open, hesitantly, but still they are open and suddenly I can see her. It's hard not to stare, but I know I can't because she'll pick up on it and assume something aside from the fact that I think she is beautiful. "Uh," I clear my throat, "where do I start?" I know I thought I wanted to try the vibrator out, that was before I was face to face with her lovely, wet folds. She is thoroughly flushed a deep red and completely soaked, there isn't an adjective that would do describing her justice. I want to taste her, really taste her, not through her underwear, and I want to make her come so that her thighs clench around my head so hard that I won't be able to hear her screams.
"Well, I don't usually fuck around too much. When it's just me there isn't a lot of need for romance, so I pretty much just crank up the vibration and direct it on my clit."
I switch the vibrator on and run it up and down her folds. She pulls her knees further up the bed exposing herself to me more, and I can now make out where she is wanting me to direct the attention of the vibration. I do exactly what she wants, and she bucks up off the bed with first contact. I see where this is headed, I want to delay gratification, make her wait, make her orgasm that much more intense. I slide it down, and insert the vibrator into her just slightly, she starts emitting a low hum.
"That's good. Turn the vibration off." My dick is throbbing at her demands, I push the vibrator in and she lets loose a deep moan. Her hands find her tits and she starts rubbing at them roughly, it's so hot watching her loose herself this way. I want to be inside her, but I can't. Instead I just focus on the motions of the toy, the resistance and tightness I feel, ravishing her by proxy.
"Fuck Peeta, oh god." I continue working the vibrator in and out of her, intentionally brushing up against her clit before I plunge it back down inside her. Her hips are working in tandem with my motions, up off the bed and then back down again, she is setting the pace of how I thrust the toy into her now. Her hands are still working her tits in a forceful fashion, squeezing, pinching, pulling.
Out of nowhere she backs up and off of the vibrator. I'm afraid I've done something wrong until she flips onto her stomach, raises her knees and pushes her back end up into the air towards me. Katniss is resting on her elbows with her ass slightly higher, her legs are spread further now. Seeing her in this new position is almost more than I can handle. It takes everything I have to not slip my boxers down and plunge into her, instead I slip the vibrator back in and she immediately pushes back. "Not so deep, hit the spot, hit my spot." Oh, I suddenly understand why she switched positions. It's really fucking sexy the command and knowledge she has of her body and what she needs.
I can't take this anymore. I slip my hand into my boxers and start to stroke myself mirroring the thrusts of the vibrator into her. The movements of her hips are jerkier, rolling faster and harder against the purple toy, I see her hand move towards her clit and I don't even think about it when I lean over and attach my mouth to her. The instant my lips touch to her swollen skin she starts whining, honest to god a sharp, mangled noise comes from her that can only be described as a deep whine. My neck is bent at an awkward angle, with my hand about my head holding the toy in place while I taste her. It doesn't take long before her knees are trembling, struggling to keep her up, her hips suddenly still, and I feel convulsions move all the way through her.
When she collapses on the bed I realize that I blew my goddamn load all over my hand and the inside of my boxers. I don't remember exactly when it happened; I was too involved and mesmerized in what was going on with Katniss. I'm pretty sure that something like this isn't possible without me realizing, but it just happened.
"Peeta," my name is merely a whisper on her lips, it is the most incredible thing in the world hearing her say my name, "come here." Katniss has rolled to her side, laying her head on the pillow. I swiftly move to her.
"You are something else, you know that. I, uh, I…you're important to me, you know that, right?" She asks, but then suddenly kisses me as if she can't bear to hear my answer. My heart drops a little, in a good way, a way that makes me feel tingly all over. I know how much it took her to say that, and even if the only reason she said it was because she was drunk off of her orgasm, I'll take it. I'll take whatever I can get from her.
Katniss pulls away from the kiss and starts to move down my body, "What are you doing?"
"You broke the rules, you better believe I'm going to too." She looks tired, but her eyes are dancing. "I've been wanting to get my mouth on you for some time now."
"Katniss…" My voice trails off as my hands find her shoulders, and I stop her before she finds the mess I've made of my shorts.
"No fucking way, Peeta. You got to do it, you aren't fucking denying me this now." It would be laughable how angry she was about not getting to blow me, if I wasn't sure she would slap me if I laughed.
"I went when you did, at least I think I did." I admit this sheepishly. She raises the band of my boxers and peeks down into my pants, like I would lie about something like that. I want her mouth on me too, more than I care to admit.
She wrinkles her nose at me, "I'll forgive it this time, but I'm serious Mellark, I'm going to blow you soon." I pull her back up to me and into my arms, the smell of her hair overtaking my senses.
"Technically we didn't break any rules, we said no touching, not no kissing." She squeezes me tightly and my eyes close, I am content and satisfied there isn't much that could prevent me from falling asleep.
Katniss is using her finger to trace circles on my chest, "Peeta?"
"I, well, uh…" My heart beat had started to slow and relax, but now suddenly has sped up ten times and is beating erratically, I can't fathom what she is getting ready to say. I feel her mouth open against my chest, and then close again as if she is struggling to say something. "I just, well, I'm glad I knocked you over that night at the bar." Anyone else would scoff at such an admission, take it lightly, and not think anything of it, but not me, I've come to really know Katniss, and I know what a big deal it is that she said it.
My response is simple, anything else would scare her away, "Me too, Katniss, me too."
A/N: Thank you to Wildharp for beta'ing and for the wonderful ladies that moderate Prompts in Panem for their wonderful ideas and extremely hard work.
Please let me know what you think. I've never done a Peeta POV before and I really debated whether or not it is something the readers of First Speech would be interested in. Thank you for reading!