Hey! So this is my second Glee fanfiction! It is a Pezberry fic this time I love this pairing (even though I prefer Brittana on Glee) and I hope you enjoy this Very Special shout out to my amazing beta reader and friend: RebeccaRipple! Thank you so much, you are awesome! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. If I did, Klaine would not have broken up *cries hysterically*, in fact they probably would be married ;)
I can't stand for it any longer. I am going to prove them wrong. I am going to prove myself wrong. I am more than a scarred girl, with a major beauty handicap and an unhealthy love of books. I can make friends. And I am going to prove it.
I slam my book shut with determination, and stand, surprised at the tightness in my legs from sitting so long. I hear a snicker to my left; probably some girls who are amused by my face, which had previously been hidden behind my book.
I let a shiver run through my body, shaking the feeling of doubt that surrounds my thoughts. I begin walking, casting my eyes around the cafeteria, trying to find someone, anyone, who is alone, so I can join them. I am beyond nervous, but I concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.
For the first time, I noticed how many students there are in the school. I had never thought that there were this many. I felt quite insignificant, walking amongst them all, but then again, I almost always felt insignificant. In elementary school, I was a big shot, the most talented and well-liked girl in the school. But that was before the accident; before my life changed forever. I hardly even attended middle school, and my freshman year marked me as a loser. Now I am scum, walking hopelessly in a place where I don't belong.
Girls and boys who I pass laugh, at my face, my height, probably my weight too. I want to shrink away to the corner of the room and pretend that I don't exist, but that would be giving them what they want. I am not going to give them the satisfaction of scaring me into the darkness. Not again.
That's when I see her; the blonde cheerleader -Brittany S. Peirce- drawing on a single piece of paper. The weird thing is, she seems to be alone. I look around me, trying to find some sign of her best friend, Santana, but she is nowhere in sight.
Tentatively I make my way towards Brittany, my nerves causing me to shake uncontrollably and my throat to close up. When I reach her, I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out.
After a moment or so, Brittany notices me standing by her side, and looks up.
"H-hi." I finally find my voice, knowing I must look like a complete idiot just standing there, doing impressions of a confused goldfish.
"I'm Brittany!" Her niceness amazes me. I mean, I'd heard she is nice, but she is a cheerleader, and I figure a 'nice' cheerleader is just a cheerleader who doesn't throw slushies in the faces of others daily. Especially since she is best friends with Santana Lopez.
"I know, um, I'm Rachel."
"Hey Rachel. Can I help you? But I should warn you- if you want help, don't come to me, I'm not that smart." I laugh at Brittany's easy-going nature and innocence, and in her presence I don't feel quite as awkward.
"No, I just noticed that you were alone, and I was wondering if I could, um, join you."
"I'm not alone, Santana just went to the bathroom."
At these words, my breath catches and I freeze, becoming more uncomfortable by the second. I don't know why I am so surprised. It certainly isn't the first time I've been rejected. And I doubt it will be the last.
"Well I guess I'll be going then. It's been nice, um, talking to you." I choke out, turning to leave.
"Wait, where are you going?" I turn my head back towards her, sure that there is a quizzical expression on my face that matches Brittany's right now.
"I just thought that I would be in the way when Santana comes back."
"Oh, no! I'm sure she won't mind you hanging out with us. Besides, I like you. You're pretty." I subconsciously raise my hand to cover my face, hiding it out of instinct.
"Thanks." Brittany smiles and gestures to the chair next to hers, signalling that she wants me to sit there. I slowly pull the chair from under the table and sit down, only semi-aware of the many eyes that are staring at me, and for the first time, not just because of my scar.
"So, what are you drawing?" I am making small talk, it's true, but I can't deny that I am interested in the blonde cheerleader beside me.
"Oh! I am drawing Lord Tubbington. See? He's eating his favourite food, fondue cheese."
"Lord Tubbington?" I question, not quite understanding, and the picture making it no clearer.
"My cat. He's been very badly behaved this week. He read my diary and then he ate my homework." I look up at Brittany, and then down again at the drawing; is she being serious? The drawing looks like the work of a five-year-old. It is very colourful and mostly made-up of scribble.
I open my mouth to question her, but before I can speak, I see, out of the corner of my eye, Santana, the head cheerleader, standing beside my chair. How long had she been standing there? Had she heard our whole conversation? I keep my head down, figuring she might not bother to talk to me if I am quiet.
"Hey Britt-Britt. Who's this?" She didn't sound angry or disgusted, just curious. Of course, she hadn't seen my face yet.
"Oh, Sanny! This is Rachel. She's really cool."
"Uh huh." I can no longer fight the urge to look at Santana. She shrugs as if my presence doesn't faze her, but I see her nonchalant expression falter for a moment as she studies my face. I don't really mind, I should be used to it, after all, but it does sting a little.
"Um, what's wrong with your face?" Santana asks bluntly. It's harsh, but at least it's honest and straight to the point. Strangely, when people try to avoid the topic, even though they are so obviously curious, and they stare at me, it's 10 times worse.
"Sanny! It's rude to ask." Brittany hisses to Santana, who has gone to sit on the other side of Brittany.
Santana ignores her and stares at me pointedly, this time looking into my eyes. I gulp, and look away, avoiding her gaze. "I don't really like talking about it. It's kind of personal."
Santana narrows her eyes for less than a second, as if she really cares about what happened. But I must have imagined it, because a second later she shrugs; whatever. "So what are you doing here?" I sigh; glad that our previous conversation- if you can call it that- has ended.
"I just got bored of being teased for being alone, and Brittany was the first person to be nice to me in this place. But I can go if you want. In fact, it's probably for the best if I just- go." The last words come out softer, as my voice dies away.
"No, no, that's not necessary. You can stay." I blink. Santana, the most popular girl in school since Quinn got pregnant was letting me -me- stay on the same table in the cafeteria as her? The concept of it was quite difficult to understand.
"O-OK, then", I stutter, confused and delighted at the same time. I won't deny that I am also a bit scared. What if it's a trick? What if she just wants to gain my trust so she can humiliate me in front of the whole school?
But, for whatever reason, I decide to stay. After all, Brittany is nice to me, and she's so precious. And, from what I've seen today, Santana isn't that bad.
After spending the lunch break with them, I am pleasantly surprised. Apparently, Santana likes anyone that Brittany likes. It was actually quite fun, I mean, I didn't talk much, but they made an effort to include me in the conversation. I hope it doesn't end.
Extract from Rachel Berry's Diary on 14/09/2010
Sorry I had to stop so suddenly before; it was time for my piano lesson. Now… I was telling you about the best week of school in my life. I hang out with Santana and Brittany every day. They are so nice. Brittany, especially. I love having friends. God, I sound like a 13 year old! I guess it's just nice to be experiencing school the way it should be.
I gaze into the mirror, trying to see myself as my friends do. But the ability to look past the scar is beyond me. It hides my face, casts a shadow on the beauty beneath. Or, what I like to think is beauty. It's been too long for me to remember how I used to look. So long ago, back to a time where it didn't matter how I looked, nor did I care. How I wish that were the case now.
Abruptly I look away from my reflection, not wanting to sink back into the darkness of self-hatred, which had been a part of my life for far too long.
No. I have to focus on the positives now. I am leaving the old Rachel behind me, along with her self-pity and tears. I have friends who care about me, and I'm not going to have them leave me just because I am a stick in the mud.
I make my way to my bed, trying my best to keep my chin up high, as if that is an indication of my change in attitude towards life.
I lay on my soft mattress, the darkness like a cushion - so close, it's almost suffocating. As time ticks on, I realise I am analysing my life so much I hardly know what anything means anymore. There's one thing I am sure of, though. If Santana and Brittany were to know about my past, they would leave me in a heartbeat.
So, what did you think? I hope you enjoyed it, there will be a new chapter up soon (I hope) and in the meantime, Please Review, it encourages me so much and makes me feel really happy, (it almost makes up for the Klaine and Brittana break up ;)… )